The Pines' latest outing had taken a bit of an unpleasant turn, to say the very least.

"…RUNNNNNN!" Dipper's hoarse yell echoed loudly against the surrounding cave walls. Together the twins plunged onwards through the winding tunnels of the old abandoned mine. As they ran, they could hear the distant unholy cries of their pursuer buzzing in theirs ears. They had no idea if the walking nightmares were gaining on them or not, but neither wanted to glance back behind them even for an instant.

To make matters worse, the path ahead was only lit dimly by the thinning beams of their flashlights. The batteries were dying fast, leaving them precious little time to make it to safety before they could be enveloped by the surrounding dark.

"You know where we're going, right?" Mabel gasped worriedly between ragged breaths.

"I-I think so! Just keep going, and don't sto-oh, come on!" Dipper let out a frustrated yell as a crevice suddenly reared up ahead in their path. The fissure was a few yards across, and while it was an easy leap for the monstrosities hot on their trail, it was much more of a challenge for the terror-stricken adolescents.

"Jump!" He cried to his sister as he picked up the pace, and launched himself across with a desperate leap. A moment later he landed hard on the other side, bruised but intact. Mabel murmured nervously to herself as she made the frightening jump.

"Don't fall, Mabel, don't fall, don't fall, don't-FALLING! YOU'RE FALLING!" A despairing shriek tore from her throat when she realized she had misjudged the length of the gap. After flailing helplessly in midair, she just barely managed to grab onto the opposite ledge. Her flashlight tumbled out of her grasp and off into the abyss below, and for a few terrifying seconds she found herself dangling alone as the dark surrounded her.

Terror coursed through every fiber of her body as she felt the rock beneath her fingers start to rapidly give away. "DIPPERRRR!"

Before she could tumble into the unknown, her brother skidded to the edge and grabbed her arm just in time.

"I got you! It's okay, I-I got you!" Dipper gritted his teeth, and with every ounce of energy he could draw upon in his scrawny noodle arms, he hauled his twin back to safety. The two however couldn't spare a moment to rest from the close save. They could hear the wretched subterranean beasts drawing closer and closer, stampeding frenziedly through the winding passages behind them. In a flash the two were back on their feet and off again.

The two dashed further through the veritable subterranean labyrinth, until stumbling to a halt at a particular fork in the tunnels. Only then did they take a reluctant breather, as they searched about frantically for a certain someone.

"Where is she?" Mabel yelped as she did a dance of fidgety impatience. "Where is she? I thought she was supposed to meet us back here!"

Her brother could feel his heart plummet into his gut with despair. "I don't know! She said-"

A horrified shriek suddenly rang out from not too far down the left tunnel, nearly startling the siblings clear out of their skins. A small beam of light appeared, which was soon followed by a terrified teenager who charged out in a panic, tripped, and landed in a messy sprawl.

"Wendy!" Dipper heaved in immense relief, and in a flash he and his overjoyed sister were at his crush's side. "Where-"

The fifteen-year-old was in no mood to explain. She barely hit the stone cavern floor before she was clawing back to her feet, yelling all the while, "GO! Go, go, go-

Wendy's urgent warnings were suddenly interrupted by what only could be described as a spine-chilling cross between a buzz and a snarl. She rolled around, shined her flashlight up behind her, and all three erupted screaming in fright as one of the hellish cave beasts suddenly appeared mere feet away.

The hideous crustacean frame loomed over them at nearly seven feet tall, and its purplish-black shell-like skin glistened brightly even in the dim beams of their flashlights. Barely had it arrived before one of its six claw-like hands reached out, nabbed Dipper by the waist and hefted him high in the air.

"AAAAUUUH-ow! Hey, watch it!" He yelped as he was accidentally slammed up against the cave ceiling.

Mabel didn't narrowly escape a fatal fall only to watch her twin get taken by a lobster-like abomination. She scrabbled about, wrapped her hands around the largest stone in reach, and squeaked furiously, "Hey, Chowder-Butt!"

It made a curious clicking as it turn its eyeless head in her direction.

"Claws off my brother, jerk!" For one so petite, she mustered up an impressive amount of strength, and the rock smashed into the nightmare's ellipsoid, antennae-studded head with an audible crackcrack.

The beast groggily stumbled a few paces before collapsing to the ground. Dipper struggled like mad to wiggle loose, but the semiconscious walking nightmare continued to hold on surprisingly tightly to him. That quickly proved to be a poor choice on its part when Wendy lunged forward and stomped as hard as she could with one of her heavy lumberjack boots. The sickening sound of her foot connecting with what she guessed was its face was like nothing she ever heard, and she immediately shuddered in revulsion.

"Gahh! Seriously, what the heck are these?" She yelled as Mabel tugged her brother free

"Who cares! Just keep going!" Dipper yelled, as if anyone honestly needed to be reminded. Movements later they were continuing their retreat to safety as fast as their legs could possibly carry them.

Their hearts pounded in their chest like a trio of jackhammers as they fled down tunnel after tunnel, long since abandoned by man for all too horrifyingly clear reasons. Occasionally they passed battered mining helmets, shattered tools, or small piles of bones gnawed and mangled nearly beyond recognition.

Finally though, escape from the underground hell finally seemed in reach. The tunnel ended with a steep slope of collapsed stone and earth, which towered towards a sliver of sunlight high above. As welcome as the sight was, it was all too obvious that they weren't in the clear just yet.

"Uh…any idea how we get back up that?" Wendy's tone quickly grew heavy with panic as she glanced back behind them. "I don't think we're going to climb it fast enou-"

"We're not!" Mabel declared resolutely as inspiration struck. She tore into her backpack, and rooted frantically until she fished out a curious contraption.

"What the...?!" The redheaded teenager gawked dumbly at the fully-functional grappling hook that had just been shoved into her hands. "Where'd you get a-"

"No time!" The little preteen barked as she quickly plotted out an escape. "Okay, you shoot it up there, and Dipper and me are gonna hold on and…Dipper? Dipper!"

Mabel spotted her twin a few yards away, hurriedly rooting around a rusty upturned cart. She threw her arms up in the air and shouted incredulously, "What are you doing? The crazy lobstery guys are coming!"

"I don't need to be reminded, thank you!" He snapped back while he hatched his own desperate plan. "C'mon…c'mon, I know I saw it when we first came in...ah, here it is!"

As he dug a lighter out of his backpack and hunched over something, his sister dashed over to his side. "Saw some what? C'mon, we gotta get-WAUGH! Explody stuff!"

The girl stopped dead in her tracks with her twin stood up and with a bundle of old mining dynamite in his hands. As if the fact that her brother was now holding an antiquated explosive wasn't alarming enough, the fuse was now burning with a small shower of sparks.

"Dude, are you crazy?!" Wendy shrieked as her eyes nearly bulged from their sockets in horror.

"Look, we can not let those..those things get out!" He yelled resolutely. "We found them down here, and that's where they're staying!"

The boy then hurled the dynamite as far as he could back down the tunnel. Yet as he watched it sail through the air, the idea suddenly didn't seem nearly as bold and heroic as it did only a second before. In fact, as the explosive landed and now sat mere yards away, the whole plot seemed downright idiotic, to say the least.

"Uh oh..." With a hoarse murmur he whirled around and dashed off to rejoin the others.

"Really? Really?" Wendy had just been chased by underground crustaceous beats, and yet still couldn't believe what she just saw. "Tell me you did not just-"

"Let's just go!" Dipper raced back as swift as the wind. The twins hurled their arms around Wendy's waist and squeezed as tightly as they could. Hoping fervently that these weren't her last moments, the teenager pulled the trigger and the grappling hook went sailing up with a loud bang. Everyone held their breaths until they heard a welcome metallic clang above.

"Up and away!" Mabel cried dramatically, and braced herself for an epic exit worthy of a James Bond movie. But when they found themselves still standing on the cave floor a few seconds later, it fast became alarmingly clear that things weren't quite going to plan.

"Up and away!" Mabel shouted again. The angry buzzing cries of the cave creatures grew increasingly louder as they neared, but still the trio remained.

Up...and away?" The young girl whined confusedly. "This isn't up or away!"

"Uh, Wendy? Could we go now?" Dipper gulped as he glanced back to the steadily-burning fuse. "We're sort of short on time here."

"I'm trying, okay!" Wendy hissed as she frantically fumbled with the inexplicably complex device. "Just…just let me…."

She angrily slapped the gun before shouting furiously, "How does this stupid thing even work?!"

"You gotta click the switch! That one, right there!" Mabel pointed urgently. "That one, there! Press it! Press it!"

"Wait, do you mea-" before Wendy could finish that thought, she suddenly turned into a human elevator. Her shoulders nearly dislocated as she was skyrocketed off the ground, but miraculously she held on, as did the twins. They swiftly sailed up through the collapsed shaft, and mere seconds later they found themselves dangling up at the top of the steep rocky slope.

There was no time to lose. Seconds later they had untangled themselves and were making a desperate dash down the final tunnel before they burst out of a hillside opening in the earth. Barely had they made it fifty yards into the open when a muffled boom rocked the very ground beneath their feet. Instinctively everyone flung themselves to the ground and covered their heads. Thankfully, all that followed was a low rumble and a small cloud of dust from the shaft opening, signaling a successful cave-in down below.

It was over. For the next minute or so it was nothing but dead silence, save the sound of a delicate breeze rustling through the surrounding evergreens, the chipper song of an unseen warbler, and the heaving gasps of teen and preteens. They all struggled to catch their breaths and wrap their minds around the barely believable fact that they had made it back to the surface intact.

Dipper was the first who plucked enough strength to speak again, and wheezed disappointedly. "That...so did not...go...to plan."

"You're...t-telling us." After taking a few extra seconds to relish in the feeling of precious sunlight on the back of her neck, Wendy raised her head and remarked bluntly, "Dip….no offense, but your map sucks."

The boy nodded wearily, signaling that she'd get no argument from him. He tugged his mysterious journal from his vest pocket, and flipped to a particular page displaying a curious-looking map and instructions.

"To whomever possesses this book - I have discovered an underground shortcut that leads directly into town." He scornfully read out loud. "I encourage you to use this just in case you ever need fast, easy, and secret passage.' Pffft! Fast and easy? That's such a load..."

As he cursed the anonymous author under his breath, Dipper dug out a pen and angrily made a badly needed revision to the directions. "Okay, that was a left we needed to take at the very beginning, not a right..."

He was halfway through his revision when he got an even better idea. Without a second thought he ripped the faulty map clean out of the book, and started to furiously tear it into shreds. While he took out his frustration on the error-ridden map, Mabel finally recovered enough to sit up. After brushing herself off, she watched her brother for a few seconds before piping up hopefully.

"Okay, so things got really stupid in there…but we're still going downtown for Slushees, right?"

Dipper's fervent destruction came to an abrupt halt, and Wendy wordlessly propped herself up on her arms. They looked to one another, gawked incredulously at the irrepressibly spirited girl, then both flopped back onto the ground with twin groans of exhaustion.

A large smile spread across Mabel's face as she misread their reactions. "I know, it's really hard to pick, right? I've been thinking about it this whole time too, and I still can't decide if I'm going to get watermelon or banana-strawberry..."