Disclaimer: I own nothing from this story (except maybe Sid and her crew) as everything belongs to BioWare. Most of my information is also gotten from either the Mass Effect Datapad app for iPod/iPad or the Mass Effect wiki.

Spoiler Alert: this story will include spoilers for the following – Mass Effect, Mass Effect 2 and the following DLC: Arrival, Overlord, Lair of the Shadow Broker, Zaeed: Price of Revenge, Kasumi: Stolen Memory and possibly Normandy Crash Site, depending on how I feel.

As this is a sequel to Ghost from the Past, it will obviously contain spoilers for that story. If you haven't read it, I would recommend that you do read it otherwise this won't make much sense.

First off, thank you all for the support for Ghost from the Past and I hope you enjoy this story just as much. I do skip quite a bit of the beginning of the game but it all makes sense and I have done my best to make the timeline clear. This chapter happens shortly after the destruction of the Normandy. Reviews are greatly appreciated, especially as I am not very good with the emotional stuff so please let me know if you have any suggestions to improve it.

Secondly, thank you to everyone who participated in my poll as to who Sid's romantic interest will be. If curiosity gets the better of you, I have stated it in my profile however if you would rather like to wait and see, I won't spoil the surprise.

As far as an update schedule is concerned, I don't have one and this will be an update whenever I have a chapter done due to my other stories, my original writing and university commitments. I can't guarantee when an update will happen, only that it will happen. I am also aiming to keep my chapters between 5 000 and 6 000 words because this seems like a good length. If you would like longer chapters, let me know.

Chapter 1: Hard Goodbyes

The hall was huge and the ceiling reached high above, almost putting the Council Chambers to shame. Too many chairs to count had been placed in the body of the room in long lines with an aisle down the middle so that people could walk freely around and easily find their seats. A large stage had been constructed at the front of the room – with the chairs facing it – and a handful of chairs had been positioned at an angle, facing the body of the room. A podium with a microphone sat in the middle of the stage so a speaker could easily address the large room. Alliance flags took up large portions of the wall and a large framed photograph lined with flowers had been positioned on the edge of the stage, overlooking the audience.

Sid's eyes were focused on the photograph of Jo. In it, she looked like the Alliance soldier everyone had come to admire: her hair tied back in a regulation bun, her dress blues immaculate and a smile that said she was proud to serve. It was hard to believe that she was really gone. The Normandy had been destroyed in a surprise attack by a ship that was more advanced than it should have been and while Sid should have been focused on this detail, she couldn't bring herself to think about the attack. It was too hard to try to put the pieces together about who attacked them or why or how they even knew where the Normandy would be.

Navigator Pressly had died in the initial explosion, along with ten other servicemen. There had been no time to react between the sudden appearance of the ship and its first attack so there was nothing that could be done to save these lives. Despite their noble sacrifice, Jo's death was the hardest on everyone. She'd gone back to save Joker and had been sucked into the dark void of space just as the Normandy exploded. It was a cruel twist of fate. Jo and Sid had finally reconnected. They were finally sisters – friends, even - and now she was dead. Sid fought against the pressure building in her chest. She would not cry. She could feel tears forming in her eyes and she blinked rapidly to get rid of them.

Even though the hall was huge, every single chair was occupied. Members of the press were spread throughout, standing along the side-lines, with their cameras filming every second. The first few rows of chairs were filled with friends of Jo: the crew of the Normandy and others she had served with in the past. The rest of the chairs had been filled with people who had never personally known the Commander but still wished to pay their respects. Admiral Hackett and Captain Anderson were seated on the stage, along with the members of the Council and other officers from the Alliance that Sid did not recognise, so that they could deliver their eulogies.

Sid had barely heard a word that had been said as her thoughts continued to struggle with the reality that Jo really was dead. The great Commander Shepard seemed invincible to everyone that no one considered the possibility that she could die. The Alliance had been unable to recover her body and if it had been anyone else, Sid would have clung to the hope that her sister might still be alive. But Jo would never let people wonder about her. She would not let this publicity stunt of a funeral continue in her name because, this was nothing less than a publicity stunt. The Council never really believed in Jo as a Spectre, yet here they were, on stage and recorded by every camera, saying their goodbyes and tearfully proclaiming that the Alliance had lost a spectacular soldier and they had lost a talented Spectre. It was enough to make Sid mad.

Sid looked to the floor as a wave of guilt washed over her. She had willingly stayed away for years and now she regretted that decision now. Maybe if she had come to Jo sooner, things may have worked out differently? A tear ran down her cheek and she was suddenly startled when Dr Chakwas placed a comforting hand on her forearm. She looked up and smiled sadly at the older woman. While she was grateful for the gesture, she wished it had been Joker who had chosen to sit beside her and tried to comfort her. Instead, the helmsman took the chair on the opposite end of the row and had not so much as glanced in her direction once. He hadn't said a word to her since the attack on the Normandy and it was discovered that Jo wouldn't be coming back. Kaidan was sitting in the middle of their row with his arms crossed and his attention focused on the floor, too lost in his own grief to even consider comforting someone else.

After successfully defeating Saren and stalling the Reapers, the idea that any member of the Normandy would die sounded so ridiculous, no one was prepared for it. The danger should have been over, at least until the Reapers invaded. Patrolling space, looking for Geth was just a way to appease the Council as they continued to live in denial. There wasn't supposed to be anything dangerous. The Geth had retreated back into the Perseus Veil with the defeat of Saren and Sovereign. There was no reason for them to be anywhere beyond the Veil. Yet the Council still insisted on sending the crew of the Normandy on some pointless mission and now Jo, Navigator Pressly and ten others were dead. And for what? No one wanted to believe the Reapers existed. Why should Jo's death change that?

After a while, the last eulogy was spoken and everyone moved to another room to reminisce and mingle. The room was much smaller and only a handful of press members were allowed into the room. It was sickening to think that some people would use this time to further their careers or make important connections through politics yet it was still happening everywhere, as people murmured their condolences for the galaxy's loss between drinks and fancy food that the Council insisted on buying, if only to keep up appearances and make sure the important people – the diplomats, wealthy businesspeople and the like, not the people who actually knew Jo – were satisfied.

The crew of the Normandy gathered in one corner of the room, mostly sitting at the tables furthest away from the political ambitions and staring off into the distance, trying to escape the notice of pretty much everyone. They were all too numb to even consider talking to anyone about what happened, least of all the press. Sid rested an elbow on the table's surface and then placed her chin in the palm of her hand. What would happen now? Jo had been the glue that kept this crew together. Without her…Sid swallowed past the lump in her throat. Even thinking those two words was hard and now she realised there probably wasn't a reason for the non-Alliance crew members to stick around anymore. As if she couldn't feel any worse.

Some shouting nearby caught Sid's attention and she looked up to see what was happening. The next table had some other members of the Normandy's crew but they were no longer focused on their grief. Apparently, Kaidan was standing near the table and shouting at…Joker? Sid frowned. That didn't seem right. Joker was still sitting in his chair with his head drooping forward as he willingly took the brunt of Kaidan's verbal attacks. No one was willing to intervene, either because they were too scared of Kaidan (biotics didn't mix well with strong emotions) or they believed Joker deserved whatever was happening. It was probably a good thing that between the music and the size of the room, no one beyond the crew of the Normandy could see or hear what was happening. Sid prepared herself to intervene and made her way over.

"It's your fault she's dead," Kaidan practically shouted at Joker who continued to stare miserably at the floor.

No one had noticed Sid's arrival and it took her a few moments to process what Kaidan was shouting about. He blamed Joker for Jo's death and no one was coming to his defence. Did that mean everyone blamed him too? Sid took a deep breathe to steady her nerves and just as Kaidan was about to shout something else, she intervened and stood between Kaidan and Joker.

"Enough," she said loud enough to get everyone's attention and with enough anger that told Kaidan she meant business. "This is not the time or the place, Kaidan."

Kaidan looked at her angrily. "If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even be here but I shouldn't be surprised that you would defend him."

"I am not defending anyone," Sid snapped. Her anger, frustration and annoyance made it hard to keep her voice steady yet, somehow, she managed. "Do you really think Jo would want this to happen? That she would want her crew – her friends – fighting each other? You're doing a really good job of honouring her memory."

There was a moment of silence as everyone let that sink in and there were a few guilty or ashamed expressions. Kaidan then glared at her before marching off, disappearing into the sea of people and he didn't look back. Sid turned around to face Joker but he still refused to look at her. When she reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, he pulled away from her and she hovered in place as the pain washed over her. She had lost her sister, the man she had regarded as a big brother and the man she cared deeply for within days of each other. She tried to swallow the lump that resurfaced and then marched off towards the bar. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't push the emotions aside like she had done for most of her life. She wanted to cry; she wanted to scream at someone; she wanted to punch something. All at once.

When she reached the bar, she couldn't bring herself to speak and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. There was just so much hurt and grief. How was anyone supposed to move forward from this? What was the point of opening herself up to people if she would only be rewarded with pain? Sid collapsed in the nearest chair and realised that she had no idea of what she was supposed to do next. She had intended on following Jo's lead for a time, until she got her affairs in order and could figure out whether she would return to smuggling or not. Now that future was lost. No one else would take a chance with a smuggler joining their crew. No one else was preparing to fight the Reapers.

After a few more minutes, Wrex, Tali, Liara and Garrus joined her at her table. Liara's eyes were ready and puffy so she had been crying too. Garrus looked angry but it was hard to say what about: the Alliance and Council's refusal to go after the ship that destroyed the Normandy? Kaidan's behaviour? Or himself? Wrex was also unusually quiet and not looking for a fight. For a few long minutes, they sat in silence, remembering Jo as the Alliance Commander who took a chance on all of them and they were all better for it. There was no way to repay the debt they owed to Jo and there was no way to thank her.

"We're thinking of heading to Chora's Den," Garrus suddenly said. "To toast Shepard."

Wrex grunted quietly. "It seems more fitting than this…political bullshit."

It certainly made more sense and would be a more fitting place for a memorial. Jo never was one for formal events. Chora's Den had brought most of them together and it was the site of their first mission together when Wrex and Garrus helped Jo to defeat Fist which then led them to Tali. Hell, it was even the place where Sid had been arrested and set a chain of events in motion which resulted in her joining the mission.

Sid nodded her head slowly. "I think Jo would approve of that."

"You'll join us then?" Liara asked.

"Go on ahead," Sid told them. "I'll meet you there."

"You're sure?" Tali asked and her voice was hoarse. She must have also been crying.

"Yeah. I want to take care of a few things first," she answered and her eyes sought out Joker.

Garrus followed her line of sight and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Good luck."

Sid smiled as the small group departed and disappeared once they left the room. Joker had already made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her otherwise he wouldn't have pulled away from her or he would have sat next to her during the funeral. He would at least make eye contact once in a while. She hated his silence. She hated not knowing what she had done to deserve the cold shoulder. Sid got to her feet and headed back towards Joker. Some liquid courage would have been nice but she needed a clear head for this conversation. Well, she probably didn't qualify with the emotions running through her. Regardless, she forced herself to walk and then sit down in the chair beside Joker.

"You should leave, Sid," he told her quietly. His gaze was firmly fixed on the table in front of him.

"Why?" she asked…no, she pleaded and she hated it but for once in her life, she couldn't go through this alone. She needed Joker more than she wanted to admit. He refused to answer the question. "Joker?" Still, he said nothing. "Jeff?" she whispered in a voice that was thick with emotion, hoping he would snap out of this.

The use of his first name must have stirred something in him or maybe it was because of how pathetic she sounded but whatever the reason, he finally looked at her. Hurt, grief and guilt were all clear on his face. "Because Kaidan was right. I am the reason she's dead."

Sid looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"She came back to get me," he answered angrily. "I'm the reason why she's dead." He looked away from her again. "Just…leave me alone, Sid."

Sid stared at him in shock for a few seconds. She wanted to argue with him or shout at him or something but the words just wouldn't come. So she did the only thing she could: she left. It had nothing to do with Joker's explanation and it was more of an effort to get away from the emotions and the entire situation. It wouldn't work, obviously. She exited the room and went to stand in the empty corridor outside. The openness and the emptiness was a relief. She leant her back against the closest wall and slid down until she was sitting on the floor. She felt like that lost, terrified thirteen year old girl back on Morkal's ship just after the raid on Mindoir so she hugged her knees against her chest and leaned her forehead against her knees. The tears started to flow freely down her cheek and there was nothing she could do to stop them. She really was alone.

After what felt like a lifetime, the tears finally stopped coming and Sid lifted her head up and rested it against the wall. What was she supposed to do now? Joker blamed himself so much that he couldn't face her anymore, despite the fact that she didn't blame him for Jo's death but he wouldn't even give her a chance to explain that. Maybe she didn't have all of the facts of what happened on the Normandy after everyone else was evacuated. So what? Joker would never intentionally put anyone in that kind of position and Jo would never leave a man behind. Her grief was replaced by anger. Kaidan was being completely unfair to Joker.

Under normal circumstances, Sid would never have sought someone out with the intention of yelling at them. She always kept a cool and calm demeanour because emotions could lead to serious mistakes and in her line of business, serious mistakes often led to death. It was also far easier to keep emotions buried so deep that she could ignore them and pretend she wasn't hurt or angry. But these were not normal circumstances. Sid was not in her right mind and the last time she had to deal with such strong emotions, she was a prisoner on board a Batarian smuggling vessel. The Batarians didn't exactly teach her how she should handle those emotions and so she soon found herself outside Kaidan's Citadel apartment.

She didn't care that she looked like a mess or that Kaidan probably didn't deserve what was coming. When there was no immediate response to the doorbell, Sid guessed he wouldn't answer or that he wasn't home. That was probably a good thing. Just as she turned to leave, the door opened and Kaidan was standing in the doorway, looking a bit confused. Perhaps she had been sitting in that corridor longer than she realised.

"You are one selfish asshole, Kaidan Alenko," Sid spat with more anger than she realised.

Kaidan blinked at her as he tried to make sense of her words. He must have had the time to cool off from his earlier outrage. "Sid? What-?"

She cut him off. "Do you honestly think you're the only one who grieves Jo? That you are the only one who lost someone? Thanks to you, Jo isn't the only important person I've lost."

When he finally realised what she was talking about, he was angry again. "Joker killed her. He's the reason we lost anyone."

"He's the reason we didn't lose more people," Sid argued angrily. "And if you want someone to blame, then blame the Council or the Alliance for sending us out there in the first place. Or, here's an idea: blame the ship that actually fired on us!"

"She went back for Joker!" Kaidan countered just as loudly. "The blame lies with him!"

Sid unconsciously clenched her hands into tight fists and it was possible that she might just let her anger get the better of her and punch him in the face. "No. The blame lies with all of us." When Kaidan was taken aback by that statement, it only infuriated her more. "You readily throw blame around yet you can't accept your own part in Jo's death. You claim to have loved her then you should have known she would have made sure every last person was off the Normandy before she would leave. You didn't hang around to make sure she got off safely. We all knew her and none of us tried to help her."

"You're wrong," Kaidan murmured quietly.

"I am not wrong and that is what scares you," Sid replied in an even if quieter tone. "You want to heap all the blame on Joker without accepting any of it. Maybe it's a good thing Jo isn't around to see this." She started to walk backwards and then quietly added "You're a coward, Kaidan."

She then turned around and started walking forward without a clear idea of where she was going. All of the anger had left her and yelling at Kaidan didn't make her feel any better. If anything, it just made her feel even worse. Why couldn't she push the pain away, like she had done all those years ago? Why was this all such a mess? She wrapped her arms around herself, hoping to force the pain away but it just wouldn't listen. She knew that she wasn't only angry with Kaidan but with herself too. She had made so many mistakes and now Jo had paid the ultimate price. For all of them. It wasn't until she somehow made it to the Presidium that Sid finally started to pay attention to her surroundings. How did she manage to get here?

"Sydney?" a voice said behind her and she was surprised to find a pair of C-Sec guards standing there. Were they here to arrest her? Without Jo protecting her, there was nothing stopping them.

When she nodded her head in answer, the other guard spoke. "You need to come with us."

Sid nodded her head in defeat. She didn't have the strength or the willpower to fight them. It was at that moment that she realised she didn't care anymore if they arrested her or not. At least going to prison would give her some direction in life. Prison life was all about routine and sticking to a schedule, after all. With a C-Sec guard on either side, they escorted her to the C-Sec Academy. Sid fought to keep her emotions in check when so many memories came flooding back. The guards led her towards an office which was odd. Shouldn't she be in an interrogation room or a holding cell? The door opened and once she took a step inside, the guards backed off, choosing to wait outside. The door closed behind the guards.

The office resembled Ambassador Udina's office, only this one was much larger. The desk was in the centre of the room, surrounded by bookshelves and completed with a balcony overlooking the Presidium. As nice as the office was, it was not what caught Sid's attention. An older man with greying hair and piercing blue eyes was sitting behind the desk in his crisp Alliance uniform. Behind him, leaning against the bookshelf, was a man she recognised as Captain Anderson. While they both looked grim, it was not directed at her. Sid couldn't stop herself from wondering if she was in the right place. Maybe the guards took her to the wrong room.

"Please take a seat," the man behind the desk said and indicated one of the empty chairs opposite him.

Sid obeyed and sat down slowly, still trying to make sense of what was happening as well as her conflicting emotions. "Am I under arrest?" she asked quietly.

"No," Captain Anderson answered. "Although you should be."

Captain Anderson was aware of some of the crimes that Sid had committed, between what she did to help steal the Normandy and whatever Jo had included in her reports to the Alliance. Anderson had also been Jo's mentor so it made sense that she would confide in him about certain things. He had enough power to make sure she was thrown in the deepest cell for the rest of her life and he obviously knew that.

Sid glanced between the two of them, trying to figure out if this was some kind of sick joke. "I don't understand."

"I am Admiral Steven Hackett and you already know Captain Anderson," the man introduced himself and while Sid knew the name, she didn't know what he looked like. "I am…was Commander Shepard's superior officer."

"Would you like a drink?" Captain Anderson offered and indicated the bottle of whiskey on the bookshelf beside him.

"Thanks but I'll pass. I'm guessing I'll need a clear head for this conversation," she replied, still thoroughly confused.

Admiral Hackett clasped his hands on the desk and leant forward in his chair, his gaze fixed on Sid. "During one of her trips to the Citadel, Commander Shepard made us aware of your presence aboard the Normandy. We know that you are Ghost as well as Sydney Shepard, who had been presumed dead after the events on Mindoir. We are also aware of everything you did to help track down Saren, legal or otherwise."

Sid swallowed nervously. "I had no idea she informed anyone else."

"She wanted to keep it a secret," Anderson answered. "She also told us the deal you made with the late Executor Pallin."

What did the deal have to do with anything? With Executor Pallin's death, no one else knew about the deal, aside from Jo, and therefore it didn't really matter…or did it?

"Is this where I confess to all my crimes and beg for mercy?" she asked and continued to glance between the two of them. She still had no idea where this conversation was headed or what Hackett and Anderson wanted from her.

Admiral Hackett sighed quietly, probably running out of patience with her. "No."

"We are prepared to keep your identity – as Ghost and as Commander Shepard's sister – a secret," Captain Anderson continued. "It will be easy as you have the Normandy's loyalty and Executor Pallin is no longer with us."

Sid shook her head slowly, wondering if all of this was a dream. "I'm still not following you."

"We would like to offer you a job," Admiral Hackett finally revealed.

Sid stared at him in surprise and could only gape at him for a few moments. "Is this…Are you…Wait…What?"

"You look like you could use that drink now," Anderson offered and poured her a glass of whiskey which she readily accepted. What was going on?

The atmosphere in Chora's Den was subdued, despite the best efforts if the music and the dancers. A lot of people were still grieving the loss of their loved ones during Saren's attack on the Citadel a few weeks back and many members of the Alliance who didn't care for the Council's memorial had come to mourn the loss of Shepard or the others who had died on the Normandy that everyone else had forgotten here. Everyone in this room had lost someone over the past few weeks. Garrus looked around the table at his friends. They were no different. They were all staring sadly into their untouched drinks, hoping there were answers in the swirling liquids.

There was still no sign of Sid and quite a lot of time had passed since they invited her to join them. Garrus had been keeping a close eye on Sid since the Normandy went down, partly because he liked her and partly because he felt like he owed it to Shepard. Sid had coped well, at first, and then, things went downhill from there. When the reality of the situation started to sink in, Sid struggled to accept it and then she started to become distant, perhaps retreating to her private world where Shepard was still alive. No one claimed to understand the relationship between Shepard and Sid but it was clear that Sid cared deeply for her sister otherwise she wouldn't have such a hard time keeping her emotions under control, like she had managed to do so easily during her time on Normandy.

"Should we go look for her?" Tali asked quietly, voicing the question they had all been considering.

"Maybe Sid just needs some time alone," Garrus suggested.

It was true that Sid was used to dealing with things on her own so no one questioned this. They weren't worried that she would hurt herself or something like that. It was far more reasonable that she got herself into some kind of trouble and was only temporarily delayed. They all agreed that Sid would understand that they started without her and they toasted Shepard's memory, Navigator Pressly's sacrifice as well as those ten other servicemen. The Council hadn't even mentioned their names through the course of the funeral or even acknowledged that other people had died too. Once all the glasses were empty, Wrex ordered another round and they spent the time remembering everything Shepard had done for them. Most importantly, they thanked her for taking a chance on all of them.

"What do we do now?" Liara asked quietly when the silence stretched on.

No one answered immediately.

Wrex grunted in annoyance. "We go our separate ways."

"What?" Tali and Liara asked in surprise.

"Wrex is right," Garrus agreed. "The Humans won't want us around anymore and even if they did, would we follow another Commander?"

"No," Wrex practically growled but his anger wasn't directed at any of them.

They returned to silence as they considered their next move. Under Shepard's guidance, Garrus had changed. They all had. Perhaps it was time he returned to C-Sec. He didn't need to prove anything to anyone, not even his father. Not anymore, at least. C-Sec was familiar and it was something he was good at. There were also quite a few friends that he missed and would like to see again. Tali had made the decision to return to the Fleet. She had completed her Pilgrimage the moment Shepard handed her the data on the Geth but she chose to remain with them. She had grown up quite a bit. Wrex decided it was time he headed to Tuchanka, the Krogan homeworld and try to make something out of the Krogan, beyond mindless mercenaries. Liara had no idea what to do next but she promised she would find her way.

A few rounds of drinks later, they realised Sid wasn't coming. They finished their drinks and approached the bartender to pay for it.

"The tab's been closed," the bartender replied when he was asked for the bill.

"By who?" Garrus asked.

The bartender shrugged. "No clue. Anonymous. But she did ask me to pass along a message."

"She?" Tali repeated and they all realised Sid paid for drinks.

"What was the message?" Liara pressed.

"Goodbye."