Summary: Mokoto loves Haru, who seems to have a crush on Rin. Add in problems with his daemon and a mystery illness and sometimes life just isn't worth living. Dark Materials xover

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is fiction

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Swearing, possible mpreg, angst

Pairings: Makoto/Haruka, Rei/Nagisa, Rin/Nitori, Kou/Seijuro

Prologue

'The Study of Daemons'

All humans have daemons. They are considered to be a personification of the soul. The final form chosen by the daemon will represent their human's personality. A good example are police daemons, which are mostly dogs. These are good at following orders, friendly and protective of other people.

It is odd to find a daemon the same gender as their human. There have been cases, yet it is unknown why the daemon is of the same gender. There are many hypotheses. Some include the sexuality of the human, while a popular theory states that one embryo absorbed the other in the womb and the daemon is that of the other embryos.

Do not touch another person's daemon. It is the ultimate breach of etiquette. Daemons and humans can feel when the other is touched. When a daemon is touched by an unfamiliar person, it causes the human an uncomfortable, almost painful, feeling.

Do not distance yourself from your daemon. Forcible separation can cause unspeakable emotional and physical pain, which often lead to death.

Makoto sighed as he slammed the book shut. That was no help. He looked to Verndari, his black panther daemon. His male black panther daemon. All through school, Makoto had been bulled for having a male daemon. It was only when Verndari settled as a panther that the bullying stopped. When the daemon was able to rip apart the bully, no one wanted to take the chance.

"Still looking for a explanation?"

"Yes. Dari, I just want to know why you're male. Everyone else has a different gender daemon."

"Are you upset?"

Makoto rushed to his friend's side. Verndari was lying in the sun, in the middle of Makoto's room. Makoto fell to his knees, running his fingers through the fur on his daemon's back. Verndari arched into the petting, purrs rumbling through his chest. Makoto smiled. No matter what anyone believed, Dari was just a big kitten.

"Of course not. I love you Dari and I wouldn't change you for the world. I just want to know. You know what I'm like."

Dari turned onto his back, Makoto's fingers now running through the fur on his stomach.

"I do. I love you too Makoto and don't worry. If anyone can figure this out, you can."

The swimmer felt better after hearing that. He did love Dari. He just wanted to know why some daemons were the same gender as their humans. He collapsed onto his bed and sighed. Tomorrow was Monday. He had swimming practice, which meant that he had to see Haru in his swimming costume. God, that would kill him. He curled closer to Dari and tried to get some sleep. He'd need his energy for the next day.

A/N Done. R&R please. Next chapter, we meet the other daemons and Makoto feels ill. Verndari is Icelandic for protector. And I picked a black panther because they're beautiful, but dangerous and look after their young. Fitting for Makoto I thought.