Natsu's font is bold. Gray's font is normal. Gajeel's font is italic.

Why do we even need to do this crap?

Well, do you want to get Erza to beat the crap out of you?

That sounds interesting to watch.

Shut the fuck up, Gajeel.

Then stop whining and get your ass to work.

I am working, you metal scrap.

Doesn't seem like it to me, ash brain.

At least I don't eat the screws nor do I freeze the water in the bucket every time like stripper here.

At least I don't burn the mop every time I bitch about why do we have to do this crap nor do I try to chew the bucket out of hunger.

At least I don't whine like you bitches.

At least I don't—wait, is that Levy and Juvia in swim suits?

WHAT, WHERE?! / WHAT, WHERE!?

Haha! You perverts! You really wanted to see them in swim suits, didn't you!?

You ass, you did that because you had nothing else to argue with us!

That was low, you asshole. I bet you also want to see bunny girl in a swim suit.

N-NO I DON'T!

Oh, really? Well, is that Lucy in a very tight swim suit I see?

HOLY CRAP, WHERE?!

And you call us perverts.

I-I N-NO WHAT- FUC- IT'S NOT LIKE- GOD- N- SHI- AT-AT LEAST I STILL HAVE MY SHORTS, NOT LIKE STRIPPER!

*looks down and sees he has lost his shorts* SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! *runs off to look for boxers while his face is glowing red from embarrassment*

Stupid retard.

Doesn't it make you feel gay that you hid his shorts?

It was his fault he threw his shorts away.

Homo.

Shut the fuck up, Salamander. Anyway, bunny girl's nearing this way.

FINALLY! MY SHORTS! FUCKING HELL, HOW'D IT EVEN GET UP THAT TREE?

A homo took it and sniffed it (hey!) then decided he'd keep it up there so he could get it later when we're not around.

.. That sounds creepier than Juvia.

.. I regret my decisions.

Why is Levy, Lucy, and Juvia here?

Like I have a clue, dumb ass.

Wait, did Levy just kiss—oh, metal face died.

Pussy.

Wait, Juvia? Hey- *faints*

Ha! Pussy! You two die because of a kiss on the cheeks?! How stupid is tha—Luce? What— *faints*

The guild sees Lucy, Levy, and Juvia walking away from three unmoving bodies who seemed to have unexplainable joy written on their faces.

Levy: I can't believe they fainted because of a kiss on the cheek.

Juvia: Juvia thinks they went to heaven. GRAY-SAMA! I'LL GO WITH YOUUUU!

Lucy: No, no. They didn't go to heaven yet, Juvia. Save the trouble.

Levy: Why were they even cleaning the pool with the water still in it?

Lucy: Because they're simply idiots.

Juvia: Or maybe they wanted to kill the people who're going to dive in and accidentally drinks the water.

Lucy and Levy: … that's evil.