CHAPTER NINE: THE HEART'S DESIRES

Nise walks around to the back of the building, where the lights from the streets can't quite reach, and looks up in search of a particular window. Crouched on the window sill staring down at him, barely visible, is the Mouse ANBU.

Nise holds up the two bottles of sake in his hands and waves them around over his head. The ANBU stares down at him for a moment and Nise gives them his best smile, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. But perhaps he didn't have to try so hard since Mouse-san was one of the softer ones. Nise hadn't been upset in the slightest when Shikaku had told him that he would be replacing Bear who had been assigned to mission that would take him out of the village for the next month or so.

Mouse. He had been one of the few people Tsunade had vouched for, insisting that he was trustworthy enough. Hayate Gekko, Nise recalls. He doesn't remember the man from before.

The ANBU gives him a small nod and jumps up onto the roof, disappearing into the darkness and leaving the window unguarded. Nise jumps up onto the window sill and looks into the room to see Tsunade hunched over her desk, barely visible behind a mountain of paper. He can't quite suppress his fond smile as he taps on the glass.

Tsunade's head jerks up and she looks over with a frown. "Mouse, what do you think— Nise?"

Nise smiles, enticingly waving the sake bottles and it seems that's enough for Tsunade because she takes one look at him and makes a hand signal, ordering the ANBU hidden around the room to take the rest of the night off. Nise opens the window, the warmth of the room welcome after the cold nip of the night. He's barely slipped inside and Tsunade has already pulled out the small low-table they use for nights like this and set it in the middle of the room. He sits down on the floor on his designated side of the table and just barely manages to put down the bottles before Tsunade grabs one and pours them both a cup. They don't say anything, just enjoying one another's company; Nise on his second cup as Tsunade expertly throws back her fourth.

Tsunade's nursing her fifth cup when she finally breaks the comfortable silence. "Danzo has become even more suspicious of you," she says.

Nise thinks it over for less than half a second. "I trust Shikaku and his team to take care of it."

Tsunade raises her cup to that and gulps the rest down.

"I heard you have a meeting at 0900," Nise says. "How do you feel about a game of tag tomorrow? Maybe around 0900?"

Tsunade refills her cup, "I would love to," she says, not bothering to hide her smile. A comfortable silence falls around them again as they finish the first bottle.

"Are you still putting up the Uchiha? I told you he doesn't have to stay in the Uchiha compound. Can't imagine he would want to, what with the," she flails a hand about in lieu of bringing up the elephant that will forever follow Itachi. "I got an apartment for him. It's his whenever he wants it."

Nise was indeed still 'putting up' Itachi. Anytime he brought up the idea of him getting a place of his own Itachi became particularly argumentative, saying everything from 'I would be here most of the time anyway' to 'You should not trust me to be by myself, I am technically on probation'. Nise didn't have the heart to continue arguing with Itachi after he pulled out the 'I enjoy your company' card.

"He's fine staying with me for now," Nise says.

"Getting a little crowded in there," Tsunade says, side eyeing him, her voice too casual.

Nise doesn't dignify that with a response. He wasn't surprised Tsunade knew that Kakashi was, more often than not, spending the nights over at his place. And while his apartment was definitely on the smaller, Nise wouldn't call it crowded with the three of them in it. In fact, Itachi had slipped so seamlessly into his and Kakashi's dynamic that it almost felt like he had been there the whole time.

Tsunade gives him a pointed look and Nise feels his face start to heat up. With Itachi on the couch there was really only one place that Kakashi could be sleeping and Nise had no doubt that Tsunade had guessed as much. And while Nise is painfully aware that his living situation isn't exactly normal he has no desire to change it. Nise struggles to keep his blush down and purposely stops thinking about anything. He's been doing just fine so far with not thinking about his personal relationships too hard.

He takes another drink and desperately wracks his brain for a way to change the topic. Literally anything was better than this. He pours and takes another drink, trying to build up the courage to ask the question that, no matter how many times he asks it, never gets easier. "How's Sakura-chan doing?"

Tsunade's pursed lips show that she knows he's trying to avoid the subject but she thankfully lets it slide. "Good. She's progressing faster than I expected. She has the potential to be great one day."

Of course she does, Nise thinks but doesn't say. And just like always, he wonders why it's so hard to ask about Sakura. Why he hasn't even been able to gather the courage to go to the hospital where she's been training and sneak a peek at her. Why the thought of seeing her face terrifies him more than his own death. He takes another drink and tries not to think about it.

The next hour passes as it usually does when they get together like this. They exchange stories of misadventure from their youth, laughing as each story gets more and more outrageous until they're both just flat out making things up to get the other to laugh. Tsunade is trying to convince Nise that she was responsible for the development of certain byakugan techniques, the result of a Hyuuga having fallen madly in love with her and wanting to impress her, when her smile suddenly dies and she gets a faraway look in her eyes. She gives a heavy, weary sigh and lies her head down on folded arms, her cheeks flushed.

Nise's good humor abruptly fades. "He'll be fine, Baa-chan," he says softly. These nights always end like this. But he'll still be back in a week or so to do it again. He knows it's the only time she'll let herself worry.

"The fool got himself killed the first time," she says hoarsely. "He can certainly do it again."

Nise reaches out and clasps one of her hands in between his. "We weren't prepared last time," he says, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll make sure everything turns out alright. I promise."

Tsunade looks up at him, eyes hazy with drink. "You grew up so well," she says softly.

Nise's throat feels tight and his eyes start to burn at her words and he suddenly, desperately wishes that Jiraiya was sitting here as well. Those few days with him hadn't been enough. He would never be able to get enough of either of them.

Tsunade reaches across the small table and smacks the back of his head.

"OW! Baa-chan! What the hell?!"

"But what's with that attitude!? Who told you to do everything by yourself!? Did you think I didn't know about how you wanted to do this whole ridiculous thing by yourself! That Kakashi was the one to convince you to let others help! And quit acting like that hurt, you ungrateful brat! You keep doing that when we're in public and it makes me look bad!"

"You still hit me though!" Nise cries in protest, the heaviness that had threatened to choke him disappearing as if it had never been there. "I risked my life to bring you this sake you know! Shizune-nee-chan's alcohol detection strategies are no joke!"

"...and so apparently Gaara just tells the old geezers that he'll just implement this obscure marshal law that the first Kazekage made if they don't start letting those who can't use genjutsu or ninjutsu into the Academy." Nise says excitedly, pacing around the kitchen, waving Gaara's latest letter around. Itachi hadn't been there this morning when he had received the letter so Nise had been waiting all day to tell him about it. Itachi had only taken a few bites of his dinner before Nise was unable to hold it in any longer. "Oh man I wish I had been there to see their faces. So of course they had to do what he said or—"

"I am leaving tonight to search for Sasuke," Itachi interrupts.

Nise starts in surprise and slowly lowers the letter.

"To bring him home," Itachi adds.

Nise has to fight down his smile so Itachi won't see how thrilled he is. He doesn't want to scare him off. He hadn't wanted to push Itachi into anything too soon. "You don't want to help go after Danzo? After what he did?"

"There are others that can handle him. If I go after him, I fear I will be consumed by hate." Itachi pushes his bowl away and Nise belatedly realizes that Itachi is wearing his full ANBU gear. He hasn't worn that in the apartment since his first few days here.

"You're leaving right now. When will you be back?"

"I will be back when I need supplies. I will not be gone longer than a week at a time."

Nise looks at the bowl Itachi pushed away. It's still full. "Aren't you gonna eat any of the gyudon I made before you go?

"No. It's horrible," Itachi says bluntly.

"What? Kakashi likes it!"

"Nise. He is lying to you."

"No way!" Nise exclaims, shocked. There was no way. He would have noticed if Kakashi didn't like his cooking. He'd been eating it for weeks now. "He always eats it all!"

"When was the last time you cooked for him? For us?"

Nise's eyes go wide. "Is this why we always go out to eat when it's my night to cook?" He whispers, scandalized.

Itachi gives him a small smile and pats his hand. "You were going to figure it out eventually. Better to hear it from one of us."

Nise stands up and points an accusing finger. "You only told me because you're leaving and you know I'll take it out on Kakashi!"

Itachi gives a genuine smile and Nise's chest hurts at how wide it is. Itachi stands and gives a small bow. "Till my return. Goodbye, Naruto."

Nise freezes at the name and it takes his body a moment to move again. He frantically stands and grabs Itachi's hand before he can leave. "Wha— How—?"

"I suspected from the way you talked about Sasuke." He gives a self-deprecating smile. "We both died didn't we?"

Nise can only stare in shock. It's only been maybe two months and Itachi had already figured it out.

"Do not worry, Nise. This changes nothing other than the fact that you have a sympathetic ear if you should ever desire it."

Nise thinks of Kakashi's compassionate eyes and how he has been seeking to become exactly what Itachi is offering him.

"Do not overthink it Nise. Leave the thinking to Kakashi and I." Itachi gives another small bow and leaves.

The sound of obnoxious banging on his front door wakes Genma up. He groans and throws an arm over his eyes; he had just managed to fall asleep and now this. He wonders if they'll go away if he just ignores them.

The banging continues, somehow even louder. "Genma! Genma My Friend, Open Up!"

"Gai?" Genma mumbles in confusion and sleepily drags himself off his couch. There's only a handful of ways to get rid of Gai when he sounds that hyped up and ignoring him isn't one of them. But when he opens his door, it's not just an excited Gai standing there; a sheepish Asuma is there too.

Asuma must see the irritation on his face because he holds his hands up in innocence before Genma can say anything. "It wasn't my idea," he says, but the shit-eating grin he's wearing says he's not reluctant to be here.

"Come Genma! Kakashi Is Experiencing His First Foray Into The Springtime Youth! We Must Ensure That Nothing Goes Amiss!"

He looks at Asuma with a What the Fuck? expression.

Asuma just shrugs, smile growing impossibly larger. "Anko saw Kakashi on a dinner date at Ichiraku's about half an hour ago. She told Gai about it."

It takes him a moment to process the absurdity of such a thing as Kakashi on a date but he decisively nods. "Lets go," he says seriously, already pulling his shoes on. Kakashi had given them so much shit over the years anytime one of them went on a date and this might be the only chance to get back at the man. Genma wasn't going to miss a chance to make fun of Kakashi for the world.

And it seems that the universe is on their side since Kakashi is still there when they get to Ichiraku's. He, Asuma and Gai crouch down on the roof of the building across the street; it gives them the perfect view of the backs of Kakashi and his date. And holy shit, hearing about it was one thing but actually seeing Kakashi Hatake on a date was another thing altogether. He had been half convinced this whole thing was some kind of prank on him.

Gemma stares at Kakashi's date's back. He knows that red hair.

While Genma had been one of the first people to meet and talk to Nise Uzumaki, the Nise that had returned from his two months away with Kakashi was a completely different person. Now, instead of being stuck to the Hokage's side, he was stuck to Kakashi's. And Genma had been dumbfounded to learn that Kakashi was actually okay with it. Didn't make an effort to try and put some distance between them. Had actually become really good friends with the man.

Genma thinks back to last week when Kurenai had finally managed to convince Kakashi to bring Nise out to have a drink with all of them. Nise had charmed them all within the hour and Kakashi had spent the whole night grumbling about how he wanted to go home. While Genma thought Kakashi's anti-socialism hadn't been any different than usual, he's now reevaluating that night in a new light. But even still, he had no idea they were like this.

Kakashi and Nise are sitting so close to one another that they might as well just share a stool and save themselves the trouble. And oh my god they were even sharing an obscenely large bowl of ramen.

He leans to his right and whispers to Asuma, unable to pull his eyes away from the scene below. "When did this happen? I didn't even know Kakashi liked people like that?"

"I know right!?" A gleeful voice says and Genma turns in shock to see Anko, not Asuma, crouched next to him. One glance at the devious gleam in her eye has him leaning around her in alarm, looking for his friends. But Asuma is crouched on the other side of Anko not looking his way. Instead, he's whispering to Kurenai who's crouched on his other side. When the hell did those two get here?

"Who would've thought?" Anko says, drawing his attention back to her. "I always thought he was a little, you know..." she makes an odd twitching gesture with her hand and gestures to her crotch, "...broken down there."

And with that Genma remembers why they're all friends with the woman. No one else would have the balls to say that about Kakashi.

"All those times he gave me shit about dating pretty boys and here he is making cow eyes at the Prettiest Boy," Anko whispers harshly but she's grinning, baring all her teeth.

"I Am So Happy That My Eternal Rival Has Finally Found—" Gai's loud voice is choked off as Asuma all but leaps over Kurenai and slaps a hand over the man's mouth.

They all hold their breath and look down but the two don't seem to have noticed, too engrossed in talking to one another. Their bodies are angled towards one another and Nise throws his head back and laughs at something Kakashi says, as if he were the funniest person ever. Genma has never once thought of Kakashi as funny. When the man wasn't drowning himself in guilt, he was more an annoying tease than anything else.

Nise reaches over and lays a hand on Kakashi's arm guard. He leans over and whispers something into Kakashi's ear, causing a blush to appear high on the man's cheeks. Nise laughs again.

"Holy shit, Nise is laying it on thick," Anko says and Genma vehemently agrees.

Kakashi turns his arm over and grabs Nise's hand, their gloved fingers intertwining. He says something, making Nise give an ungraceful snort, and just keeps holding his hand. Right there. In the middle of the village. He's holding Nise's hand.

"Oh man, this is bad," Genma says, distressed.

"What? This is the exact opposite of bad. This is fantastic!" Anko says but Genma shakes his head.

"So it wasn't just Kurenai and I that noticed," Asuma says, his hand still firmly over Gai's mouth.

"Noticed what?" Anko hisses.

Genma chews on his senbon and swears right then and there that he is not going to be the one to talk to Kakashi about this.

"It's not a date," Kurenai says and Genma nods.

Anko looks at them like they're crazy. "Guys. They are literally seconds away from jumping each other. I can feel the tension from here."

"But this is Kakashi were talking about," Asuma says. "He's never been romantically interested in another person before."

"And?"

"Oh my god!" A voice behind them says. "Kakashi-san doesn't know he likes Nise-san!"

They all whip around to see the Cat and Mouse ANBU sitting in a tree, eagerly leaning forward. The Cat ANBU jerks back and slaps a hand over their mask where their mouth would be.

"Yugao-kun? Hayate-kun? What are you two doing here? Are you spying?" Kurenai scolds.

"Like you guys are—"

"They're on the move!" Anko whisper-yells, cutting Hayate off. "Come on!"

They quickly fall into a tracking formation, an unconscious move on Genma's part at least, and jump from rooftop to rooftop, following Kakashi and Nise as they slowly make their way through the quiet streets of Konoha. Most people have already gone home for the night with only a few stragglers wandering the streets.

It gets a little awkward when the two of them stop by the memorial stone where they sit and quietly talk for half an hour. Genma personally finds it enduring but Anko and Asuma are practically radiating how uncomfortable they are from where they're crouched in the tree next to him.

Kakashi and Nise eventually get up and head towards Nise's apartment, holding hands the entire way. They follow as close as they dare and when Kakashi and Nise get to Nise's front door they can't resist creeping even closer, hoping to catch some of their words.

Genma almost slips off the roof when Kakashi leans forward and kisses Nise on his cheek.

"Did anyone see him move his mask?" Anko whisper-yells excitedly, her nails digging into Genma's arm from where she's holding onto him so tightly.

"Maa, you're blushing," they hear Kakashi drawl, voice obviously amused.

"Don't point it out!" Nise yells as he turns around and slams his door shut right in Kakashi's face.

Figures Kakashi would mess it up at the end, Genma thinks.

The door swings open again and Nise grabs Kakashi by his flak jacket and jerks him forward to press a kiss to Kakashi's clothed lips. It only lasts a few seconds and then Nise is retreating back into his apartment, the door slamming shut again.

Kakashi turns around with an eye smile and looks directly at their hiding spot. "If I hear one word about this I'll kill all of you in your sleep," he says cheerfully and then goes into Nise's apartment.

Kakashi doesn't bother acknowledging the Akimichi guards as he and Shikaku exit the Akimichi compound. After all, neither of them were technically ever here. They've barely taken half a dozen steps when Kakashi notices a crow staring at him from a tree. It cocks its head to the side and lets out a loud 'CAW!'

Kakashi rubs the back of his neck and tries to look sheepish. "Ah, I'll have to take a rain check on that dinner, Shikaku-san. I just remembered I have to be somewhere that it isn't here," he says, not particularly concerned with coming up with a good excuse.

"Of course," Shikaku says, looking directly at the crow.

Kakashi doesn't bother to hide his urgency as he quickly jumps to the rooftops and heads home to Nise's apartment. There had been no set time frame of when Itachi said he would return, but Kakashi is certain that he wouldn't be back so soon unless something went wrong. It's barely been a week. And Itachi knows better than to send a crow out unless it is absolutely necessary.

He's still a few hundred meters out when he starts to sense Itachi's chakra signature. He pushes more chakra to his feet and full out sprints the rest of the way home. Itachi would never let himself be noticed without a reason, and from the feel of it, he's exhausted a lot of his chakra reserves.

He runs up the side of the building and jumps through the living room window, ignoring Nise's intimidating seals that cover the frame. They had never been activated. Kakashi halts at the sight that greets him. In the middle of the kitchen, a dirty and bloodied Itachi leans against the counter.

Kakashi tsks and goes over to wrap an arm around Itachi's waist. He tries to be as gentle as he can but Itachi's entire right side is covered in blood, making it hard to see what injuries are where. Itachi leans heavily against him and lets Kakashi drag him into the bedroom and into the bathroom. Kakashi sits Itachi down on the toilet seat and fills the tub up with warm water.

He gently removes Itachi's ruined ANBU armor and peels his dirt-and-blood-smeared clothes off. Without his bloody uniform on, Kakashi can see the actual extent of damage. It's not too bad, just a few scratches and bruises here and there, but there's a particularly nasty wound on his right side. It looks like someone tried to impale him with a sword. Still, Kakashi suspects Itachi is mostly suffering from chakra exhaustion.

He lifts Itachi up, ignoring his half-hearted protests, and helps him into the tub. Itachi gives up any semblance of protest when he's halfway in and by the time he's settled in the water his eyes are closed in exhaustion.

Kakashi grabs a nearby washcloth and kneels by the tub. He gently washes away the filth from Itachi's body, careful to be extra gentle around his stab wound. He lathers some shampoo in his hands and gentle works it through Itachi's hair. Itachi doesn't so much as twitch throughout it all.

When the water becomes too dirty he has to drain it and it's only as he's refilling the tub with clean water that he gently breaks the silence. "Thank you for coming back here. For asking for help."

Itachi opens a dark eye and stares at him. And he must see what Kakashi has been carefully avoiding thinking about. "I do not wish for Nise-san to see me in such a state."

His words are somehow comforting and he nods. "Nise is out playing personal bodyguard. He will not be back for some time," he says, and that's the end of that.

When Itachi's skin is pale porcelain again, Kakashi helps him out of the tub and carefully wraps his abdomen while he leans against the counter, eyes half closed with sleep. When Kakashi's satisfied that his wound is taken care of he helps him into one of Nise's undershirts. Though looking at how large the shirt is on him it might be one of Kakashi's that he had left here.

Kakashi slowly leads the drowsy Uchiha to Nise's bedroom and all but tucks him into the bed.

"Sasuke has become stronger," Itachi says with a faint smile, and a second later he is fast asleep.

And while Kakashi doesn't doubt that Sasuke has, he doubts Itachi actually fought back.

Nise groans and tries to roll over but something heavy lying on him prevents him from moving. He opens his bleary eyes to see black hair spread across his chest and can't help but smile. Itachi was a cuddler. There was no way in hell he wasn't going to tease him over it. Itachi gave him such flak over how he snored when he slept but this was so much worse. He gently extracts himself from Itachi's grasp and gets out of bed. Itachi doesn't even twitch as he stumbles around the room to get dressed.

Kakashi had explained everything to him when he had come home last night, not so subtly hinting that he should ignore Itachi's bandages. It hadn't set well with Nise but he had agreed nonetheless.

Nise quietly shuts the front door behind him and heads towards the hospital, hoping to replenish his scant medical supplies before Itachi wakes up. It wouldn't do for him to see and subsequently feel guilty over how much of it Kakashi had used on him last night. But the closer he gets to the hospital the more trepidation he feels. What if he ran into Sakura there? What would he say?

"Is it true that Itachi Uchiha is back?"

Nise whips around at the voice to see Shikamaru standing behind him; Choji and Ino just a step behind him on each side. Nise heart pounds as he keeps a straight face. What the hell was Shikamaru doing asking about Itachi? He shouldn't know anything about that. Nothing said within the Akimichi house leaves it and Nise is certain that Shikaku wouldn't have told him. Shikaku might have caved and brought Shikamaru and his team in for support with Danzo but he wouldn't have said anything about the Uchiha.

"Shikamaru!" Ino yells. "This wasn't the plan!"

And holy shit it wasn't just Shikamaru; the whole lot of them probably know.

Shikamaru shrugs at Ino's outburst, looking unbothered. "Well?" he asks.

Nise gives his friendliest smile. "That's quite an imagination you have there. Maybe—"

"I'm not a child, Uzumaki-san." Shikamaru interrupts. "I've been paying more attention to what's been going on in Konoha and things aren't adding up."

Nise's smile drops. It's clear that Shikamaru isn't playing around, isn't going to buy any act he puts on. He stares at his once-friend and tries to think of a way to handle this. He desperately wishes Kakashi or Itachi were here; they would easily be able to divert Shikamaru's attention.

"No matter how I look at it, you're one of them," Shikamaru says. His tone is casual but his body is leaned forward and tense, giving away the fact that he's more than interested. It would be a number of years before he'd be able to get rid of that particular tell. "One of the things that don't add up." He looks Nise over with critical eyes. "But Dad trusts you and you're obviously skilled at fuuinjutsu and I need information. And judging from your reaction earlier, you know about Itachi Uchiha."

Nise has no idea what his fuuinjutsu skills have to do with anything and he has no idea why Shikamaru knows to ask him for information. But one thing he does know is that Shikamaru shouldn't be asking about Itachi. "How do you know about him?" Nise asks bluntly, not seeing the point in trying to be polite.

"Shikamaru's smart," Choji says, as if that was an adequate explanation.

"It doesn't matter." Shikamaru dismisses. "Will you answer some of my questions?"

Nise stares at Shikamaru's grim face. He remembers him being much more carefree than this. That same feeling of dread he had when talking with Neji is back but a hundred times stronger. For a moment, he hates Shikamaru. Hates Neji. Hates the Konoha 11. Hates how they're so similar yet so different from the ones he knew. Hates that he's looking at one of his best friends and knows he can never have that friendship back. Hates that they remind him of everything he's lost. Hates that he's grown up and they're just kids. Hates that he can't hug them all and cry on their shoulders.

"Well?" Ino demands impatiently, coming forward to stand next to Shikamaru. Choji mirrors her actions seemingly without thought.

And just as quickly as it came, the feeling passes. It didn't matter if they knew him or not, he could never do anything but love them all. His worries about interacting with his old friends suddenly seem so stupid. He thinks he might be okay seeing Sakura now. "I'll answer what I can."

"Are you a jinchuuriki?"

Okay, he didn't expect that . No one is supposed to know that. He hasn't used chakra in front of anyone but other jinchuuriki, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Kakashi and Itachi; all of whom are sworn to secrecy. He feels more than one being stir in him. The truth will come out eventually, but he'll be damned if it does before they defeat Obito.

But Shikamaru's eyes are sharp and he gets the feeling that it doesn't matter what his answer is. Somehow, Shikamaru already knows. The question is nothing more than him testing him.

"Yes," he says, ignoring the rumbling and growling in his head.

Shikamaru nods. "It only makes sense. Was Itachi alone when he slaughtered his clan?"

Nise purses his lips. "A question for a question. How did you know I'm a jinchuuriki?" There was no way Shikamaru, even as smart as he was, could have reached that conclusion on his own. There had to be some kind of leak somewhere.

"Ino read the mind of a Root member who has access to Danzo's office and has seen a lot of his files. Danzo's collected and meticulously filed just about everything you've done since you came to Konoha. Ino relayed everything he'd seen to me and I just connected the pieces. It's pretty obvious when you take a step back and look at the larger picture. I don't know what exactly it is that you have inside you but don't worry, it doesn't particularly matter to me and I don't really care at this point. Was Itachi alone when he slaughtered his clan?"

Nise suddenly has a whole new level of respect for Asuma. It must be difficult to mentor someone too smart for their own good. "I don't recall Shikaku's mission parameters involving the Uchiha Massacre."

Shikamaru grits his teeth at the non-answer but surprisingly it's Ino who speaks up. "It's all connected!" she shouts. "The sharingan, Hanzo of the Salaman—"

"Ino!" Choji yells. "Ah… Ahaha, I'm kind of hungry, do you wanna come with me to get some chips?" He grabs her arm and all but drags her away.

Shikamaru is still staring at him and Nise feels like he's missing something; feels like Shikamaru knows something he doesn't. Wasn't Hanzo the former leader of Ame? What did he have to do with anything? Was this about the Akatsuki? Shikamaru and the Konoha 11 were too young to be messing with them. Maybe he shouldn't have handed off Danzo to Shikaku. He should have just—

He stops the thought before it can finish. No. He was right to accept help.

Nise sighs and decides it's just not worth thinking too hard about. He'd tell Kakashi and Itachi what had happened and let them decide what to do. "No. He wasn't alone; another Uchiha helped him. But Itachi has been pardoned. Information which is classified."

Shikamaru frowns and Nise gets the impression that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear.

"Now no more questions. You're only supposed to be working as support for your father."

"What a drag," Shikamaru says, folding his arms behind his head. But his eyes still look a little too sharp. "See you around Nise-san," he says and walks off the way Choji and Ino had gone.

Nise bites the inside of his cheek. Maybe one of these days he would have an encounter with one of his old classmates that wouldn't end with him feeling distinctly dumb.

"Kakashi. What we're trying to say is that you like Nise," Genma says again for what feels like the fourth time in as many minutes.

"Of course I like Nise," Kakashi says easily. "I wouldn't hang around him if I didn't." He turns a page of his Icha Icha Paradise, vaguely wondering why Genma kept repeating himself.

Genma smacks his forehead and he thinks Asuma is mumbling some kind of prayer under his breath.

"Kakashi," Genma says slowly, as if he thinks Kakashi can't hear him or something. "You guys hold hands."

"Yes."

"You practically live together," Genma continues, stating things they all already know.

Kakashi hums in agreement.

"You guys kiss."

Kakashi feels like he's being led on to something but isn't sure what. "...Sometimes."

"You don't do that with just anyone."

Kakashi turns the statement over in his mind. He supposes that's true. "Yes."

"People only do that with people they like-like," Genma says. "As in want to date."

Kakashi still isn't sure what Genma is getting on about. "I don't want to date Nise," he says truthfully. Years of watching Anko date made the whole ordeal unappealing. He had thought that maybe Asuma and Kurenai had worked the whole dating thing out, but neither of them would admit they were dating so obviously dating wasn't all that great.

Asuma pinches the bridge of his nose and Kakashi thinks he mumbles something along the lines of 'you already are' but he can't be certain.

"Then why the hell are you kissing him?" Genma asks testily.

That gives Kakashi momentary pause. He wasn't really sure. "He kissed me first."

"And what? You just decided to keep doing it just because!?"

Kakashi honestly hadn't really thought about it. He had gotten so used to not thinking too much about what Nise did and just going along with it that it had seemed natural to just keep kissing after that first time. "I guess so."

"Jesus Christ Kakashi! You have a crush on the guy!" Genma yells, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Next to him, Asuma nods emphatically.

"A crush?" Kakashi asks, amused at their behavior. "I don't think so."

"Then stop kissing the guy!"

Kakashi thinks about that for a second and quickly decides he doesn't like that idea. He liked their kisses; there was nothing wrong with that. Kakashi feels his face start to warm and studiously concentrates on his book. Their kisses didn't really mean anything anyway.

"Ah!" Asuma jumps and points at his face, finally deciding to join the conversation. "See, you do like him!"

Kakashi itches to run away. But really, what they were saying couldn't be right. He would know if he liked Nise like that. He purses his lips and refuses to look up from his book.

"Look Kakashi," Genma says in that same patient tone that Kakashi is only now realizing is something you would use to explain something to a child. "Nise's been really patient with you, but you better make your move. Gai's been going around saying there's a ANBU that's been making moves on him. If you don't get your act together someone else is gonna snatch him up."

Something tightens in his chest at those words and he finally looks up. "Who's hitting on Nise?" It comes out more aggressive than he expected.

"He didn't recognize who it was, must be a new recruit, but they were wearing Itachi Uchiha's old—" Genma's mouth drops open, his senbon falling out. "No fucking way," he whispers. "He's already in the village?"

The tightness disappears and Kakashi waves a disinterested hand and goes back to his book. "Maa, if it's Weasel-kun then it's alright," he says, not wanting to think about how true that statement might or might not be.

"I'm going home," Asuma mumbles, turning and doing just that.

Genma quickly stands up and claps Kakashi on the back. "It's okay to let yourself be happy," he says, and then jogs to catch up with Asuma.

"You were useless," he hears Genma complain. "I should have just brought Gai with me. At least then I—" his voice fades out as they walk out of earshot.

Kakashi lowers his book and stares at the horizon.

A crush?

Itachi finds him when he doesn't return to the apartment for three days. "Nise-san doesn't say it but he is concerned about your absence," he says solemnly.

"Oh," Kakashi says, shoving down his feelings of guilt. "There is no need for concern."

"Forgive me Kakashi-san, but I was under the impression that you and Nise-san were not in the habit of lying to one another."

It's a strong rebuke, only made worse by Itachi's sincerity. But Kakashi's been doing a lot of thinking the past three days and Itachi's candor gives him a chance to voice something that's been on his mind. "You're not surprised or off put by our friendship. How close we are."

Itachi stares at him with black eyes. "I have had enough spontaneity to last a lifetime. I find comfort in routine and I do not like it when things are not going as they should. If there is anything I am currently surprised and off put by, it is your sudden insecurity."

Kakashi smiles at that. "Maa, so harsh Itachi-kun."

Itachi stays just long enough to have lunch with Kakashi and then he's gone, headed back out to try and reach out to his recalcitrant little brother. Kakashi walks home- and really how did he not realize when he literally thought of Nise's apartment as home- and is unprepared when he turns the corner to see Nise approaching the apartment from the opposite direction. Nise does a horrible job at hiding his surprise and pleasure at seeing him.

Kakashi takes a deep breath. It's okay to have this. Genma and Asuma, two of the most level headed people he knows, said it's okay. He's allowed to have this.

They meet at the entrance at the same time and Nise unlocks the door. "Oh Kakashi what great timing," he says in a horribly fake casual voice. "I was just thinking about making some ramen."

Kakashi looks the man up and down. How had he never noticed before how beautiful Nise was? Yeah, he definitely has a crush.

He gently pushes Nise shoulder to get him to turn around and face him and then backs him up against the door.

"Uh, Kakashi? What are you doing?"

Kakashi places one hand on Nise's waist and cups the side of his face with the other. Nise's eyes are so wide and Kakashi doesn't think he's breathing. He rubs his thumb over Nise's reddening cheek, then slowly drags his hand down the side of his neck and over his arm, careful not to apply too much pressure. Kakashi's heart is pounding and he's not sure what he's supposed to do next. But he can have this. It's okay to have this.

He wraps his arms around Nise's waist and gently tugs him till their bodies press together. Cautiously, he rests a hand over Nise's ass.

"Oh! Oh my god. Kakashi! You can't just— were outside for crying out loud!" Nise whispers frantically, his face blood red.

Kakashi takes a moment to process the fact that Nise's protests are about being outside and not about what he's doing. That's… good. Really good.

Kakashi opens the door then bends down, wraps his arms under Nise's ass and lifts him up. Nise yelps and wraps his arms around Kakashi's neck but doesn't complain as Kakashi carries him inside. Kakashi kicks the door shut behind him.

Kakashi's body burns in a way it never has before where Nise is pressed up against him and it's too much and not enough. He's allowed to have this.

Kakashi walks over to their couch and tips them over on it. Nise lands with a huff and Kakashi, holding himself over him, takes a moment to appreciate the view. Nise really was beautiful. So incredibly beautiful Kakashi wants to kick his past self for not appreciating him sooner.

"What the hell is going on?" Nise asks, but he doesn't make any attempt to move.

"I figured it out," Kakashi says. He runs a hand down the front of Nise's ANBU flak jacket. With deft fingers, he undoes one of the buckles.

"Figured wha— O-oh god."

Kakashi pulls the flak jacket off. "What the wrongness is."

"The what?" Nise's voice is breathy.

Kakashi sits back and lightly runs his hands over Nise's chest, the soft material of his undershirt preventing him from getting what he wants. He can have this. He pushes his hands down harder and Nise groans, reaching up to wrap his arms back around Kakashi's neck and pull him closer.

Kakashi moves his hands down to Nise's stomach and brushes over his groin. Nise arches his back and this is so much better than any scene in Icha Icha Paradise. Nise's face is flushed, his mouth open, his eyes hazy, and he is so gorgeous spread out so invitingly like this.

Kakashi feels his cheeks heat up so he leans forward, closing what little distance is left between them, and buries his face into Nise's neck. He inhales and pushes his palm down on Nise's growing erection.

"Wait. Kakashi wait—"

Kakashi jerks back and hates himself. He scrambles off Nise, stumbling off the couch in his haste.

What the hell had he been thinking? Forcing himself on Nise; on his friend. A few words from his friends and he suddenly thinks he can just have what he wants? "I apologize!" he says, mind racing as he tries to think of how he can salvage the situation. "I didn't ask. I didn't—"

"No! No, wait Kakashi!" Nise sits up and reaches out to him. "It's okay! Wait!"

Kakashi awkwardly stands next to the couch and looks down at Nise. He doesn't deserve this. After everything he's done he doesn't deserve this.

Nise pushes his now-messy hair out of his face. "Kakashi, I want this. Really. It's just— I want to do it right. I don't want there to be any secrets between us. You deserve nothing but honesty from me."

Kakashi's hands itch and he has to look away. He can still feel Nise's body. "I understand," he says.

"Hey." Nise stands up and cups his face, forcing Kakashi to look him in the eye. "I want you. So badly. But I want to be with you without having to hold back."

And Kakashi really does understand, it's just so much harder to resist now that he knows he can have it. Now that he's had a taste of what could be. "Itachi knows doesn't he?"

Nise's eyes widen in surprise and Kakashi is left to wonder again how someone so easy to read was, and is still, able to hide so much.

"I told Ero-sennin and Baa-chan. Itachi is the only one who's actually found out."

Kakashi looks up at the ceiling and sighs. "I suppose I can't get upset about that. He's one of the few people in the world who I don't mind losing to." He looks back at Nise and his chest aches. "I'll try not to keep you waiting much longer."