This is my premiere X-men: Evolution fiction. I finally decide to jump into the genre, being a long-time fan of both the 1992 animated series & the comics. It's been way too long since I've done a song parody. *sigh* I didn't realize just how much I missed 'em.
For those of you who don't know, the name of the song is "Fat Lip" and it's sung by the group Sum 41. It didn't take me long to realize that it could practically be the Brotherhood's theme song, if the lyrics were slightly modified. And thus, a pointless, plotless, yet very amusing plotbunny was born.
Plot? Who needs a plot? *cackles evilly*
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DEDICATION(S): todd fan, for inspiring this idea with her fic
"X-men Evolution: The Musical" (not to mention, taking so many of my requests!
^_^), and Red Witch, just because you are THE coolest X-men: Evo fic
writer I've come across on this site
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.
Xavier had really outdone himself this time (though, in the Brotherhood's opinion, that wasn't really saying much).
Every recruit he had managed to gather under the age of 18, with the exception of Rogue (who was out hanging with Risty), were standing outside the Brotherhood Boarding House, even if they were in civilian clothing. Little Jamie looked so excited to be apart of a mission; his excitement caused enough accidents to create a good 15 clones by the time they got there.
They stood facing off, Brotherhood against X-men. This lasted for what seemed like forever, before Xavier wheeled forward.
Before he could say anything, Lance held up one hand. "Hold it, Baldy. We already know what you're going to say. You want us to join the X-men, right? Sorry pal, ain't happenin'."
"You're right, I am hear to ask you to come to the institute." Xavier replied, never once loosing his confident appearance through Lance's speech. "But I am also hear to try and understand why exactly you refuse so persistently. You wish your side of the story to be told, well I'm listening."
"HUDDLE!" Pietro called out, and the four boys came together in discussion. Wanda simply stood off to the side, trying to figure out which X-geek she felt like maiming first. Half a minute later, the group broke apart and Pietro zipped to his twin, whispering the plan. An interested nod of approval was her response.
Pietro stepped forward. Lance did nothing to stop him. "You wanna know why? Fine."
PIETRO: Speedin' through the halls like my name was "El Nino"
FRED: While I'm hanging out, eating the rest of an old burrito
TODD: As a kid, was a skid, and no one called me my REAL name
WANDA/LANCE: Trashed my own house party when my powers first came
BROTHERHOOD:
You know, we're not the same kids you think you know in
High School
"Worthless punks"
seldom showing up when we have to
There's no attention that we
crave; don't tell us to behave
WANDA: I'm sick of being told, "Control your rage!"
TODD: I don't wanna…
BROTHERHOOD: Waste my time
PIETRO: and become a symbol of the so-called "greater good"
FRED: We're not falling…
BROTHERHOOD: For that line
LANCE: We're staying put, together in the Brotherhood
WANDA: So back down!
"Gentlmen…and Wanda, too, of course," Xavier amended, noticing the death glare the Maximoff twin was sending him, "You misinterpret my intentions entirely. I completely understand what your lives have been like in the past. That's why I'm making this offer. I only wish to help, but I don't understand why you continually refuse—"
LANCE: Be-
PIETRO: -cause…
TODD: you…
FRED: don't…
ALL: know us at all; that's why we laugh when you fall
PIETRO: But what else would you expect from a Brotherhood brawl?
Smugly, Wanda blows on her right-hand fingernails, gently polishing them on her shirt.
TODD: Foster homes and beatings is how we were raised
"Not to mention, half your life in an asylum where the doctors were crazier than the patients" Wanda added.
PIETRO: Me, myself, and I are the only gods that I've praised
"Big surprise there…" Evan muttered, unheard by Pietro …who had pulled out a mirror from seemingly nowhere, admiring his reflection.
ALL: Sure, we like having fun at certain X-geeks expenses
Lance and Scott stare off one another, as do Todd and Kurt, Pietro and Evan, Fred and Jean. Wanda just glares at everyone.
TODD: And stealing for survival's just a minor offense, then
FRED: It's none of *your* concern
LANCE: When will you ever learn?
PIETRO: That none of us are never gonna turn… again.
"I SAID I was sorry! Don't you believe me?"
"Just making sure it won't happen again, Lancey-boy."
FRED: I don't wanna…
ALL: waste my time
WANDA: When I could simply kill you all if I wanted to
Some of the X-men were beginning to look a little uneasy.
PIETRO: We'll never…
ALL: fall in line
TODD: plus, we can hardly stand the lot of you
LANCE: So, back down!
Next to Xavior, Jean's patience was being worn thin. She folded her arms in disgust, tapping a foot authorativly. "You do realize how immature you're all acting at this moment, right? I mean, the Professor's offering a better life for the lot of you, and all you can do is whine and complain of how horrible your lives have been."
"Must not kill…must not kill…. Why must I not kill her again?" Wanda asked no one in particular
"Jean, that's enough already!" A voice from the back came, interrupting the Scarlet Witch's musings. Everyone's attention was directed towards Kitty, who had a look on her face to match Jean's, though it wasn't directed towards the Brotherhood. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe they have a reason to complain. Not everybody's life is all peaches and cream like yours, you know."
This left Princess Jean speechless, though she still attempted to maintain an aura of dignity. Kitty gave a glance over to the Brotherhood. Fred was still grinning from Jean's shocked expression, Todd and Pietro were silently clapping, and Lance gave her a look of pure gratitude.
Wanda looked cross. Of course, that was nothing new.
Thankful Shadowcat's little outburst had not started a confrontation among his pupils, Xavior attempted another approach. Placing an elbow on each rest of the wheelchair, he folded his hands together and placed his chin on top of them.
"Why don't I give you a moment to think this over. Keep in mind, nobody is forcing you. I only wish for you to see the positive reasons why I feel you would be happier living at the institute. Perhaps then, you'll make the right decision."
A moment passed in silence, during which Jubilee had popped the gum in her mouth a good seven times. Each brotherhood member looked deep in thought, as if they were actually considering what Xavior had said.
"So, Pietro, what do you say? Will you be willing to join us?"
PIETRO: Don't count on me to let you know when…
Xavier turned, only slightly more hopeful, to the boy next to him, "…Lance?"
LANCE: Don't count on me to do it again…
He shot an apologetic look to Kitty, who gave him a small smile and mouth back: I understand.
"…Frederick?"
FRED: Don't count on me. It's the point you're missing…
Desperately. "…Wanda?"
WANDA: Don't count on me, 'cause I'm not listening!
ALL: You
think we're no goodnicks, middle-lower class brats
Being judged that we
don't give a damn 'bout nothin'
You'll be standing at
the front door, thinking we're just bluffin'
When YOU don't make
sense with all the hot air you're puffin'
PIETRO: Then, if we don't give, you'll be ringing off the hook
WANDA: You're on my hit list, baldy, if at my brain, you look
FRED: I live life with distortion
LANCE: "Dad" drinks with proportion
TODD: The doctor told my mom, "should've had an abortion!"
PIETRO: I don't wanna…
BROTHERHOOD: Waste my time
LANCE: and become a symbol of the so-called "greater good"
WANDA: We're not falling…
BROTHERHOOD: For that line
FRED: We're staying put, together in the Brotherhood
ALL: So BACK DOWN!
Not letting Xavior get another work in edge-wise, the Brotherhood made an about-face, walking straight back into the Boarding House. The door shut behind them with a slam.
Even Wanda had traces of a smile on her face..