Chapter 12 – Father and Son

Clark was sitting at his desk, lost in thought. So much was happening so fast, and he felt that neither of his identities was able to keep up. The talk with Lois the night before had caused him a whirlwind of emotions. Every time he thought of her, he had to admit that he was powerless against his feelings. He had once defied time to save her life, and despite his father's warnings, he knew he'd do it again. He would always have to choose between her and the world, it seemed – and there was a small, very human voice in his mind that told him how unfair this was. Would any other husband or father have to explain himself if he chose the life of his beloved and child over the life of others? But to Superman, different rules applied. He was stronger, faster, better. Whenever he looked into the faces of the people he'd saved, he saw love and adoration, sometimes jealousy or hatred, sometimes disbelief or mocking laughter. But most of all, he knew they all thought the same: That he could do anything.

Clark sighed. He, of all people, knew that there were many things beyond his grasp.

"Are you sad?" came a quiet voice next to him.

Clark nearly jumped at Jason's comment; he hadn't been listening to the world around him. Leave it to his son to get the jump on Superman. He smiled at the kid and a warm feeling spread through his chest. He could see himself in his eyes.

"Hey Jason! What makes you say that?"

Jason used a chair to climb onto the desk and dangle his legs in front of Clark. He searched his face. "I thought you might be sad that Mommy doesn't know who you are."

Clark's heart missed a beat. He quickly looked around, but nobody in their vicinity paid them any heed. Lois was off somewhere in the archives. Richard, as Clark had picked up, had gone to a conference in Gotham for the week.

He scooted a bit closer to Jason and whispered, "Jason, what do you mean?" His Clark voice had dropped, and the deep timbre of Superman came through.

Jason frowned. "I saved Mommy and Daddy. I can do stuff. They can't do them, and the other kids can't do them. But you can do stuff too, just like me." He suddenly started fidgeting with the paperclips on the desk, seemingly embarrassed.

Clark took a deep breath. He whispered, "you can hear things, can't you?"

Jason focussed intently on the paperclips now, trying to link them up.

"You heard mommy and daddy fighting, is that right, Jason?"

Jason nodded.

"And you heard everything they said about you?"

Jason chewed his lip. "Daddy is angry at me. And at mommy. They said .. he wasn't my dad, and …they were fighting."

Clark quickly looked around again. "Jason, I'm sure your daddy is not angry at you, I think he just needs time to understand some things."

"But…" he pouted a little, "he's not actually my daddy. I heard him. He was only pretending, but now he doesn't want to any more. That's okay I guess," he added thoughtfully.

Clark felt like his heart was breaking a little. Suddenly, Jason looked up and fixed an intense glare on Clark. For a second, Clark half expected to be hit by heat-rays. "I think you're my daddy."

Worse than heat rays.

His heart seemed to melt, but he fought down the urge to hug his son. He smiled a little. "Yes, I am."

Jason brightened considerably. "Good."

Clark took a deep breath. "Jason, I need you to promise me something, all right?"

Jason's eyes lit up and he leaned in to listen.

"You're a really smart boy, you know that?" Jason smiled. "And you know who I am and what I can do, but.. well, Mommy, and Richard, and everyone else here, they don't know, right?"

"No, it's weird," he stated matter-of-factly.

"And nobody but Mommy and… Richard know what you can do, right? Do you know that some people would like to take you away from them because of the powers you have?"

Jason nodded earnestly. "Yes, they came in the night to look for me, but I ran away!" he finished proudly.

Clark smiled. "You did that very well. Now here's the thing: you need to keep your powers a secret, and you need to keep my secret, too."

Jason looked into his eyes. "I can do that, I am good at keeping secrets."

"Good. I know you can do it." Clark grabbed his shoulders and gave them an affectionate squeeze. Phew, that was one conversation he thought would happen completely differently... and somewhere else, preferably.

Jason seemed to have something on his mind. "Mr. Clark…"

"When I look like this, you can call me Clark, okay, Jason?"

"Okay. Clark, I heard Mommy and you talking. You said you love her. And she loves you too, I heard her say it," he confirmed again, in his defense.

Clark reddened and stole another glance around them. This was really the most terrible place for a private conversation. "And… that's the truth."

"So why doesn't she know who you are?"

"Well…" oh God, this was hard enough to work out himself, how the hell was he going to explain this to a kid? But suddenly, the question seemed to connect with what Lois said the night before. I never asked to forget. She'd figured it out before, she would know again.

"We will tell her, Jason. Soon, I promise. We will first make sure you are safe and the bad men who are after us are in prison. And then we will tell Mommy together, okay?"

He seemed to like that. "Okay," he nodded. He started playing with the paperclips again. "I think she liked you better than she likes Daddy," he said quietly. "I think Daddy is going away."

Clark frowned, and a lump was in his throat. "Jason, Daddy is only gone for a week, he needed to go to work in Gotham, remember?"

Jason ardently shook his head. "No, he is going away, he said he wants an …" he crinkled his brows in thought… "partyment somewhere else. And Mommy told me that she was wearing a ring to say that she was marrying Daddy. But I saw that she took it off now, so that means she's not marrying him any more, right?" Jason's flood of conclusions had hardly stopped when Clark heard a sharp intake of breath behind them. Lois was back, and looked mortified.

She hurried over to them and leaned close to Jason, frantically trying not to look at Clark. "Jason! I told you not to talk about private things at my workplace, didn't I?"

Jason frowned. "But Mommy, it's only Clark."

Clark was trying to busy himself by shifting around a few stacks of paper on his desk, avoiding Lois' gaze.

Lois took a deep breath. She pulled up one of Clark's extra chairs and sat down, scooting closer to them both. "Yes, I know that, munchkin, but there are so many other people here, too, you know?"

Jason smiled at her. "I was very quiet mommy, so only Clark could hear me!"

Clark's chest constricted. So much for the secret-keeping. But Lois seemed to merely take the statement at face value. She smiled apologetically at Clark. "That's great, honey," she managed.

Clark wished there was something he could do to ease the awkwardness. "Jason, you know sometimes people like to keep things secret, especially when it's about.. love and marrying other people, you know?" He felt his face blush a little and strained not to notice Lois' wide-open eyes and shocked look.

Jason nodded. "Yes, I know, I will keep that a secret, too, I promise."

Clark could almost feel Lois form the question "..too?" but she didn't say anything. Rather, she was gaping at Clark with undisguised surprise. Jason looked from one to the other and hopped down from the desk. "Can we go play now?"

Lois answered slightly confusedly, "it's not lunchtime yet, but you can draw at my desk…" and Jason ran off.

Clark suddenly remembered that he had spoken to Jason in his normal, steady voice the entire time, not making any efforts to appear bumbling. He quickly pushed his glasses up his nose and tried to push over a pile of documents, but failed miserably at the deception. Lois was still staring at him in wonder.

Clark looked into her eyes and felt his heart quicken. All he wanted to do was pull her close and kiss her, and then many other unbidden thoughts followed. He tried to gather his wits and looked away. "Uh, not to worry Lois, I won't say anything."

Lois shook her head a little and snapped out of the moment. "Yes, no, of course, Clark, I know you wouldn't. It's just… it's a bit difficult at the moment."

"It will be all right," he tried honestly, and she smiled a little.

The speedy, noise newsroom around them suddenly seemed to wake them both up from their bubble. "Right," Lois grabbed a folder she had with her and gave it to Clark. "I have some news."

She quickly related the facts concerning the Walker family, carefully editing out who had told her about Tracy Emmet. Clark smiled but feigned surprise at the news. The folder, it turned out, contained some old articles and snippets about the research Walker had done abroad. Little was known, but when reading between the lines, the old notes painted the picture of a ruthless, reckless scientist.

"And that's not all," began Lois. "Some sources suggest his kryptonite research was closely tied to a well-known smuggler ring - one that was suspected to deal in "curiosities" such as kryptonite, certain explosive chemicals and drugs."

"Somehow, I am not surprised," Clark said.

"I think that interview he promised me is definitely on." She grabbed her phone and went off to organise.