Broken Vow

By Robin Gurl

(Hehe, sorry a quick one shot before I update the train murders. I was rereading my manga and I just love the expressions Yana gave Ciel when Sebastian is "murdered" in the murder mystery story arc and so I came up with this idea. I guess Ciel does jump in and out of character but it's nothing drastic. It was a fun challenge to write him emotional while keeping him in character. I am aware that the manga does tell at the end why Ciel "acted" upset ..but I had the thought that maybe he wasn't aware until Sebastian told him.)

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea to exploit the plot. XD

The professor watched helplessly as the young Earl was helped out of the room. The new butler's words echoing in his mind "it is not fit for the head of a family to act as so.." they hurt him hearing them and he wasn't even the one who had lost someone dear to him. How dare he say that to the poor child after his last companion had just been brutally murdered?

It was obvious the usual act of being untouched by emotions was gone, the mask was shattered. In front of him was a grieving child who was doing their best not to break down. The look on the boy's face wasn't something a person could easily pretend or fake…it was the look of sheer terror and shock. The small body was shaking and shivering, the boy's face was pale and his one eye was wide as if still trying to comprehend it all.

Meyrin sighed trying to control her own tears and wrapped a blanket around the shaking shoulders, "C-Come young master, you need to get back in bed before you catch a cold, yes you do." Her cheek was still red from being slapped, though she held no grudge, she knew he had done it out of deseparation. She wanted to add "and get you away from this gruesome sight, you don't need to see this…" but knew better than to do so. Though she also knew that the child had already seen so much blood and death in his short life time …and he claimed to be alright….but she knew, she could see…this time was different.

Ciel Phantomhive's mask of calmness and uncaring had been shattered and the pieces were gathered around the dead body of Sebastian. She and the other servants knew the only person that was keeping him sane was Sebastian. Now that his lifeline was gone there was a difference about the Earl's demeanor. The young master looked pale, sick, and like he was going to faint. He looked completely terrified and for once since she had started to work here – like a real 13 year old.

She looked to the side and saw the professor was with them. He looked ready to catch the young master if he fainted. She then looked to Ciel again, his steps were staggered and weak.

As they walked by one of the guests rooms, Ciel spoke his voice shaking, different from what it usually was. "…n-need to get S-Sebastian to stoke the f-fires…it's going to get cold tonight.."

Tears streamed down Meyrin's cheeks as she nodded. "Y-Yes sir, I'll let him know, sir." She started to think back to what Sebastian would do if the young master was upset like this ..to calm him down. She and the others knew that he would wake up screaming from nightmares of his parents deaths. They would all wake up and hear the wails and the cries for it to stop. When they looked out their doors, they would always see Sebastian calmly walking down towards the kitchen pulling his coat on over his clothes to make the master something comforting to drink. "Warm milk with honey.." She said more to herself then turned to smile weakly at her master, "I'll make you some warm milk with honey to calm your nerves and help you sleep…w-would you like that, young master?"

Ciel turned his head slowly nodding then looked back down the carpet. His heart was pounding, he felt dizzy. He still couldn't grasp the fact that Sebastian was dead. Something was going on it – it had to be…but then why didn't Sebastian wake up when he had ordered him too? He clenched the blanket tighter in his shaking hands, another sob escaped his lips but no tears streamed.

The sight of Sebastian laying on the ground, bloodied, impaled, eyes open from the shock of being stabbed…dead.. was too much for Ciel to comprehend. He stopped and gagged at seeing the image in his head again, his knees collapsed under his weight and he fell to the ground wretching, throwing up.

"MASTER!" MeyRin knelt down worried.

"Ciel, it's alright, you are in shock. Just let it out, holding it in will only make it worse." The professor explained reaching out and gently rubbing the child's shoulders. This time Ciel didn't pull away or turn and yell at him, he only continued to gag and vomit. "You need to let it out before it drives you mad."

The small frame shook violently and tears started to roll down his cheeks. He tried to stop them but was unable too. His body was reacting on its own. More tears fell and he hiccupped choking, throwing up again. A cry of anguish left his lips and he doubled over sobbing. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, it hurt so bad, breathing hurt, crying hurt….his heart ached. "YOU PROMISED." He shouted in between sobs. "D-Damn it S-Sebastian…y-you promised! Y-You said you would never lie!"

MeyRin had to look the other way unable to hold in her own tears. The professor just watched letting the boy let it out. He could see the boy's flushed cheeks and could hear his ragged breathing. A lot of what the boy was throwing up was bile. "Does he have a respirotary illness?"

Meyrin looked over eyes wide, "Yes he does, how did you know?"

"He's aggervating it, come hurry, we must get him to bed before it gets worse. Is it Asthma?"

She nodded helping her master stand. "Y-Yes sir, it's chronic, he's had it since he was a young babe."

"Ciel, you need to try and breathe as normally as possible, if not you will cause your Asthma to act up again." The professor sighed and was dreading having to ask this question knowing what memories it may bring the already distressed boy. "Ciel, have you had an attack recently?"

Ciel looked over at the professor through watery eyes as he wheezed. "..y-yes…three m-months ago…"

"Meyrin, what do the doctors say to help?"

"I-I don't know sir," She gulped trying to hold back a sob. "…S-Sebastian always was the one who took care of the young master, yes he was. Whenever the young master would start coughing we would be pushed out of the room and told to wait until we were needed."

"Ciel, forgive me for asking, but I need to know, what did Sebastian do to help it?" The professor asked as they entered the room he and Ciel were sharing.

Ciel wheezed staggering inside having to lean on the professor for full support. He was still coughing, bile running down his chin. "…h-hit me on …t-the back…a-and…mint tea…I-I don't remember..m-much more than t-that…usually I'm ..I'm unconscious b-because the fever rises so h-high.."

"Hmm, come on to bed."

Ciel was helped onto the bed and gently lay back into the pillows. He turned and hugged the pillow that Sebastian had brought last night – it still smelled like him to an extent. "…f-forgive..m-my horrible..b-behavoir…" He whispered hoarsely. "T-This isn't h-how the head of the P-Phantomhive E-Estate should act.."

The professor shook his head and took the compress from MeyRin. "Ciel, think nothing of it, this is normal and after all you are only a child. You need to rest. I'll be here."

The murder replayed itself in Ciel's mind over and over again, the splattered blood that he had stepped in, the smell of the corpse, Sebastian's eyes were looking at him.

He sat up screaming, tears streaming and he cried out. His skin was drenched in sweat as he looked to the side hoping to see Sebastian there. He saw no one. Not even the professor. The moonlight shown in through the window showing he was alone. He pulled his knees to his chest trying to fight the overwhelming feeling of loneinless but it was impossible.

His eye patch had fallen off earlier and he could see out of both eyes. He looked down and saw his body was shaking and trembling. He hadn't cried since his parents had been murdered. But now he couldn't stop. It hurt to breathe and he knew he'd upset his asthma.

"Whenever you need me, call my name and I will be there, young master. All you need to do is call my name."

Ciel looked up, eyes red from crying. "..S-Seb-bast-ian.." He said weakly coughing. "S-Sebastian…" He tried again tears streaming. "SEBASTIAN! SEBASTIAN! SEBASTIAN!" His voice was hoarse but it was as loud as he could scream it. He fell back against the pillows panting and coughing. His eyes were heavy from the energy he had just spent. He clenched his eyes shut whispering Sebastian's name again, his hands rubbing his eyes trying to stop the tears.

"Oh dear, just look at you. Waking up in a fit and irritating your illness. Honestly young master, what am I to do with you?"

Ciel's eyes clenched shut tighter at hearing Sebastian's voice, remembering.

"Just lay back and try to relax, you need to rest…"

He could still feel Sebastian's cool hand on his forehead checking for a fever. He turned into the ghostly touch, his composure was gone. He reached out of habit for Sebastian's arm to grasp it, to make sure he was there and not leaving but got air. His eyes opened and he had to come to terms with it again with what he knew all along.

His demon was gone. He wasn't going to be here. He wasn't out doing errands. He wasn't coming back. He wouldn't wake Ciel up in the morning or help him get ready for bed ever again.

Sebastian was dead.

He swung his legs off the side of the bed sitting up. He felt dizzy and sick as he tried to stand. He staggered over to the mirror, the symbol of their contract was still on his eye. "S-Sebastian…" He whispered again, coughing up bile, it splashed to his dresser. His eye glowed in the mirror and it burned. "S-Sebastian…Sebastian…S-Seb-!" He doubled over falling to his knees coughing and crying unable to stand any longer.

He crawled a bit curling up against the wall sobbing. Everything ached and burned with each movement. He never thought he'd ever think this or express it but he wanted his butler. He wanted Sebastian back. He wanted the demon to appear and hover over him with that creepy smile or even the harsh gaze. He wanted to be gathered up in the demon's arms and held like a child. He wanted the awkward words of comfort Sebastian would try and say. He wanted it all back.

He wanted his sense of comfort back. The "security blanket" that Sebastian had joked about earlier was nothing compared to the feeling of safety he felt around his butler. Now it was gone and he was all alone. He was scared. He was terrified.

He heard foot steps and lifted his head, he couldn't see out of his blurry watery eyes. "W-Who is there..?" His voice sounded weaker than normal, it was shaking.

The foot steps continued and got closer, his own heart was pounding. Was this the murderer coming to get him next? He wanted to get revenge for Sebastian. He tried to stand but was too weak to do so. "I said who is there? S-State your purpose!"

He managed to get to his feet and hung on to the edge of the dresser for support. His knees were shaking along with the rest of his body.

In the shadows a figure appeared with a smirk. Ciel's eyes widened as the figure stepped out into the moon light kneeling in front of him. He looked down unsure if it was a halluincation from his fever or not. "S-Seb-astian..?"

He reached down shakily to touch the demon, his hand sat on the figure's hair. Tears welled up in his eyes and a lump caught in his throat. "W-Where..h-have you b-been? W-What took you s-so long..?" He was trying to sound angry and upset but he could only express his shock and hurt through his voice.

"My young lord, forgive me. They were watching the body up until a moment ago." Was the calm response. "I heard your commands but I could not answer, it would have given it all away."

"G-Given what..a-away..?" Ciel felt sick to his stomach again and he leaned against the dresser panting heavily.

Sebastian glanced up, eyes narrowing. He hadn't expected to see his lord in this state. The child looked positively sick. "Y-You're trembling, my lord." He stood up to his full height and tried to approach the child, reaching out to touch his master.

Ciel backed away wide eyed. "H-How d-do I know you a-are really a-alive? I-I saw you …y-you were dead..I-I commanded you to wake up a-and stop playing a-around and you did not…I-I stepped in your blood …I-I smelt your d-decaying f-flesh. I-I called y-your name…aand you did not appear…"

Red eyes widened with shock. Was his master crying? The small body looked to be a mess, skin pale, nightshirt covered in the sticky bile where he had thrown up numerous times over the night, the small legs were barely holding up the sick body. The normally calm voice was shaking and unable to form words…almost slurring them and unable to make full sentences.

Had he truly scared his master that badly? "Young Master, I told you, I can not die. Even if this body does perish in this world, I will be back in another form. I made a promise to you and I meant it. I am yours until our contract is fulfilled."

Ciel stepped forward trying to hold back a sob of relief reaching out to touch Sebastian again. His hands shaking as he grabbed Sebastian's waist coat that was still covered in blood. He swallowed hard trying to regain his composure, gripping the waist coat tight in his fingers until his knuckles were white. Blood stain or not he buried his face as far as he could into Sebastian's chest, a sob escaping his lips.

His knees gave out and he collapsed, he felt Sebastian catch him and pull him close. Tears streamed never ending as he clung crying and sobbing.

The demon held the child close letting him cry, knowing he had gone too far this time in their charade. At the very least he should have told Ciel what he was planning on doing. He kept forgetting that even though his master claimed to be without any cares …that indeed he did have them. And while being the head of a household, he was only 13 years old. He was still a child and was still allowed to be scared.

Sebastian placed a hand on the boy's head comfortingly and sighed, "My lord, I apologize. I went too far this time. Please forgive me." The only response he got was a choked sob.

He continued to hold the young child for a while, this was the longest Ciel had ever instigated bodily contact. However, he had no desire to joke or tease the boy about it. The demon only stood there and held him close. Finally after half an hour he heard Ciel speak, the boy's voice was hoarse and barely audible. "..y-you e-ever d-do that again..S-Sebastian.." The small head shook back and forth. "..d-don't ever do this a-again. I-I order you to never ever leave me out of your plans."

Sebastian's eyes glowed, "Yes, my lord. I am afraid that for the next day or so I will need to "play" dead until we can catch the murder. However, that being said.." He then gently pulled Ciel back and knelt down in front of him so he could get a better look at his lord. "Young master, you are a mess."

Ciel looked at him through glazed eyes. His hands reaching out and grasping Sebastian's arm that was holding him up, clinging to him for dear life. "…d-don't leave."

"Before I can even think about going back I need to give you a proper bath and get you out of these disgusting clothes." Sebastian stood back to his full height petting Ciel's head comfortingly as he gently pulled the small hands away from his arm then walked to the closet, removing his own bloody jacket and setting it carefully down so he could put it on again, then grabbed a clean night shirt for his master. He grabbed the bowl that was left to cool down Ciel's fever and brought it back over with the cloth. "This is going to be a bit cold I'm afraid, young master, but you are covered in blood and bile…"

Ciel stood there watching as Sebastian unbuttoned his night shirt and gently pulled it off smiling up at him. He tossed the shirt aside and dunked the cloth into the cold water ringing it out before reaching out and he started to wash the pale body getting everything off. Ciel shivered but didn't pull away, tears were still rolling down his cheeks out of sheer relief.

Sebastian noticed the tears as he stood up to wash the boy's neck and face off. The cloth was now a stained mess and he'd have to grab another one before going back to the basement as a corpse. "You will need to inform the professor on how to care for your illness, young master. Just to keep it under control until I am able to come back and help, do you understand?" Ciel nodded as Sebastian put a bit of water on his hair to get the blood and bile out of it as well. "Now then, arms up." He pulled the clean nightshirt on kneeling down again to button it up.

"D-Do you have to go back immediately?" Ciel asked looking to Sebastian.

"I do need to get back fairly quickly but why do you ask?" He pulled one of his gloves off and reached up with a bare hand feeling the high fever. "Tsk, you are burning up, my lord. You worked yourself up so badly that you caught a fever?"

Ciel looked embarrassed for a split second then gave a weak glare, "T-This was your fault!" He swallowed shaking. "Y-You…Y-You…." He looked down tears starting to fall again. He balled his hands into fists. "YOU SCARED ME. I-I thought I had lost you f-for good."

Sebastian's hand dropped from Ciel's forehead in shock at the words being said and stood up to his full height. He blinked and then sighed giving a warm smile. He reached down and gently gathered his young master up into his arms carrying him over to the bed. He lay him down as carefully as he could covering him up with the blankets before sitting on the edge of the bed himself.

"I-I know you have t-to leave…b-but stay a-a bit longer..? I-I don't wish t-to be alone.." Ciel whispered turning onto his back. His hand came out of the covers and he grabbed Sebastian's hand holding it tightly in his own. His eyes were heavy as he started to drift off, exhausted from the ordeal. "..p-promise…t-to never d-do this again, S-Sebastian…"

The demon squeezed the smaller hand, "I promise, my lord. And do not fear, in a few days I will be back and I will not leave you again." With his free hand he reached up and stroked some of the dark locks of hair out of the boy's eyes. "You need to rest, young master. I apologize again for frightening you and I will not do it again. Just rest and cling to the knowledge that I am alive and I haven't left you nor will I ever.." He whispered, his hand moving down to stroke the pale cheek.

After a few hours of watching his master sleep, Sebastian gently pulled away from Ciel's grasp and stood up redressing in the bloody coat. He took the dirtied cloth and water and night clothes, leaving the room.

As he walked down the hallway, careful to use his demon stealth to not make a noise, he felt a twinge of guilt at causing his young master so much pain and silently vowed to never do it again.

End

(I want to reiterate that yes I do know the manga is different …I just thought this was a cute scenario if something had gone differently.)