Oh man, sorry it's been so long guys. I just got a new job, I'm moving into a new apartment and I started watching Battlestar Galactica (so addicting). It's been hard to find time to write. Anyway, not a plot heavy chapter, but I hope you will enjoy.

-Fox

"If you ever get close to a human and human behavior

Be ready, be ready to get confused and me and my hereafter

There's definitely, definitely, definitely no logic to human behavior

But yet so, yet so irresistible and me and my fear can

And there is no map uncertain"

-Björk, Human Behavior

He'd made it back to Heaven. That must be the only explanation for the calm bliss he felt, though Castiel couldn't remember how he had gotten here. But this wasn't the Heaven that he had visited so often as an angel. This must be the Heaven of his human soul. Had he died already?

Dean was talking to him, he realized, a big grin plastered over the hunter's face as he gripped the steering wheel of the Impala with one hand and shoved a tape into the old cassette player with the other. The car was briefly filled with percussion and guitar chords before a deep male voice began singing.

"Dude, I know it's sort of sappy, but this song is awesome," Dean said glancing away from the road to meet Castiel's eyes. Cas sighed and listened to the lyrics.

"I have never heard this song before," Castiel replied. It was amazing how little he cared about where they were going, or anything else, really. He was simply content to be surrounded by the familiarity of the Impala, and of Dean.

"The Smiths rock, Cas," Dean says. "Not my usual genre, but hey, I can have layers right?"

"I don't see why not," Castiel said and looked out the windshield to the road ahead. "Dean, where are we going?"

"Don't ask stupid questions, Cas," Dean said with a smile in his voice.

"I'm sorry," Castiel replied and fell silent, watching the trees slip past in a green-brown blur as they cruised the highway. A little jolt of surprise lurched through Cas's system when he felt a touch on top of his left hand, which was resting on his thigh. He looked around to see Dean watching the road and singing. Castiel's eyes moved from Dean's face, down past his shoulder and long arm to where the hunter's hand was resting atop Castiel's. Castiel was baffled by the situation, and even more baffled as he watched his hand, as if of its own accord, lock fingers with Dean's hand.

Dean was still singing with a slight grin as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Castiel's brain felt fuzzy and lazy, but he also felt content. He found that he liked Dean's touch, though he was pretty sure that this type of human behavior was not entirely normal within the confines of Dean's and his relationship. But if this was Heaven, then this couldn't be wrong. Cas smiled and Dean caught his eye and smiled back. The song ended.

"Hey Cas?" Dean asked.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas replied.

"Don't you think it's about time to wake up?" Cas frowned at Dean, confused.

"I don't know wha-" Cas began.

"Dude, wake up!" Dean's voice was loud and Cas hadn't seen his lips move. And then the scene before Cas was replaced with darkness and confusion.

Castiel opened his eyes blearily and groaned. He was warm and snuggled into a thick comforter. He focused his vision on the shape that was shaking him awake. Dean was hovering over him, one hand on his shoulder. Cas pushed himself into a sitting position and looked at Dean.

"Man, you sleep like the dead," Dean laughed. "It's past noon, though so I thought maybe you might want to join the land of the living for lunch."

"I was dreaming," Castiel said, mostly because his brain was still half asleep. The memory of the dream was fading fast and leaving Cas with the oddest feeling, almost like guilt, but with more nausea. For some strange reason Cas had the urge to hide his face from Dean.

"Dude, are you blushing?" Dean said with smirk. "First dirty dream, Cas?"

"Nothing was particularly dirty, no," Castiel said with a frown and Dean chuckled.

"Right, well, there's food if you want it," Dean said. "And don't take this the wrong way, but you might want to consider a shower."

Dean left the room, closing the door behind him. Cas sat there blinking for a few moments before getting out of the comfortable bed and making his way to the shower room. He decided that he liked sleeping, but dreaming was odd. Even when he had slept before when his powers were lessened he hadn't experienced dreams. He had just assumed the dream was real while he was in it, but now that seemed stupid. Why hadn't he realized it was a dream? There had been some pretty obvious indicators.

It did bring up some interesting philosophical questions though. Castiel had always been distantly fascinated by the human psyche, and more in particular the unconscious mind. Humans were so vulnerable during sleep, and dreams rarely were disingenuous in regards to emotions and the more primal instincts of humanity. Castiel remembered the atmosphere of peace in his dream. Dean was his best friend. Dean said they were like family. Like brothers? But Cas wasn't sure if that was entirely accurate. He had always considered himself Dean's guardian, and by proxy, Sam's, but Dean fascinated him on a level that other humans, and for that matter other angels, never had. Castiel admired Dean, and he could remember nothing in his existence bothering him more than when Dean was angry or disappointed with him. Why should one person's opinion matter so much to Castiel?

It took Cas what he assumed was probably a silly amount of time to get the shower water to a comfortable temperature, but once unclothed and covered in hot steamy water, he found himself thoroughly enjoying the experience... up until he got soap in his eyes. There were so many things to remember about being human. He had to eat and shower. Sleep and change his clothes. Brush his teeth and use the bathroom. It was so time consuming. Not to mention the tirade of emotions and insecurities that came with a soul and free will.

Cas powered through the rest of the shower with his eyes streaming and irritated red. He was pretty sure it was the soap, but briefly thought it might be demonic possession. Why would humans make soap sting so badly? Turning off the shower and wrapping a towel around himself he found his way back to his room where he had a clean shirt and pants waiting for him that he had borrowed from Dean. Both were slightly too large for him and he made a mental note to ask Dean or Sam to help him learn how to wash clothing so that he could launder his suit.

Jeans and a Led Zeppelin shirt didn't quite suit him, he decided. Though a small and irritating voice in the back of his mind pointed out how the worn band shirt smelled delightfully of Dean. Castiel ignored the fluttering feeling he felt him his stomach at this thought. What was wrong with him?

Cas entered the main room where Sam, Dean and Kevin sat at the table munching on sandwiches. Although Cas was annoyed by how much time he had to spend maintaining himself, he did enjoy food.

"Hey Cas," Sam said looking up. "Grab a seat."

The younger Winchester was still ill with… well Cas didn't know what. Dean was insisting that they take him to the hospital, but Sam brushed his brother off. Castiel was inclined to agree with Sam. What could human doctors do?

Castiel took a seat. Probably the most important happening of the last two days was the appearance of the hunter Garth and with him an unconscious Crowley. Turns out once Dean had returned Sam to the safety of the bunker he asked Garth to check if Crowley was still in the church. Castiel found himself oddly proud of Dean's decision to maintain responsibility towards the former king of hell.

Crowley was currently locked up in one of the rooms until further notice. Again, the Winchesters had asked Castiel what he thought might happen to Crowley now that he was… Well that was the question, wasn't it? What would Crowley be? Certainly not human, but perhaps not entirely demon either. Again, Castiel had been useless in the realms of information. It was eternally frustrating how pointless he was. And to make things worse he knew that he could no longer stay with the Winchesters.

"Sam, Dean," Cas began. He looked down at the sandwich that Dean had placed in front of him. "I need to talk to you."

"Alright," Dean's tone was casual. "Shoot."

"I think it might be best if I leave." There, now he had got their attention. Dean frowned, that familiar crease of his brow and narrowing of his eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Dean said gruffly.

"It's only matter of time before the Angels come after me," Castiel explained. "Many will blame me and seek retribution. It won't be safe to be around me and I don't want to put you in danger, especially when I'm essentially useless to you."

"Cas, do me a favor and shut up," Dean was sitting with his arms crossed glaring at Cas. Cas looked at Sam who was looking between them with an expression that seemed to fall somewhere between suspicion and amusement. Cas didn't have the time to fathom what he was thinking.

"Dean listen-" Cas began.

"No Cas, you listen," Dean spat leaning forward to place his hands on the table. "How many times are we going to have to go over this. We're all screw ups and that's what makes us family. And that means that we don't push each other away. If we're going to suffer, we'll suffer together and if you think I'm going to let you- I don't know - draw fire, then you haven't been paying attention. We're in this mess together."

Cas blinked. He felt his heart swell with affection for Dean, but was still convinced that him leaving was the right thing to do. Sam was smiling softly and he and Kevin exchanged looks.

"How could I forgive myself if I put you and Sam in harms way yet again?" Cas said quietly. "I can't protect you anymore."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's our turn to protect you," Dean said simply and went back to eating his sandwich as if the discussion was over. Cas marveled at the stubbornness of humans. Scratch that: the stubbornness of Dean Winchester.

"You're going to protect me from hundreds of angry, fallen angels?" The corners of Castiel's mouth twitched into the beginnings of a smile and Dean shot him a scathing look.

"If I have to," Dean said and then nudged Sam. "Right?"

"Right," Sam said clearing his throat. "We're always stronger together, Cas."

Wonders never cease. Castiel had torn up the world. Torn up the trust of his friends. Made the same stupid mistakes time and time again. Yet somehow these humans, these people, still wanted him around. Castiel knew one this for certain, the angels would never show him to devotion and forgiveness that the Winchesters had. They were his true family. This was his true home. And even if he died tomorrow, he that knowledge was the most bright and fierce thing that he had ever experienced.

"Okay then," Castiel said, trying to suppress his beaming smile. "What do we do now?"