Disclaimer: I don't own Chihaya. That's actually a good thing.

Chapter Summary: After losing to Arata in the Meijin match, Taichi talks about quitting karuta. Chihaya is not happy. Future fic.

They lost.

Taichi ran his hand through his hair.

They were so close...yet Taichi and Chihaya lost against Arata and Wakamiya Shinobu in the Meijin and Queen matches. Again.

He really thought he could win this year. He really believed that just this once, with Chihaya at his back, he could finally defeat Arata. In the end, Taichi still lost by two cards. Chihaya's match dragged on a bit longer but she too lost by a two-card difference.

In the last year of High School, Arata won the Meijin match against Suoh Hisashi, managing to stay undefeated ever since. People were saying that he had a great chance of becoming the youngest Eternal Master in history. Chihaya's eyes shined brighter whenever she talked about how much closer Arata was to winning the respected title.

The Mizusawa crowd was now in their third year of university. Not many things had changed between them. They still practiced karuta every week and they still ate lunch together. They were still great friends although ever since their last member achieved A-rank, they often acted more like rivals than teammates. The only thing that did change was that the high school club house was exchanged for a vacant class room on campus and that Arata had been welcomed into their tiny group.

Nishida, Komano and Oe-san still belonged to the Suihoku Karuta Society and whenever tournament time rolled around they morphed into bullies, trying to upset the Shiranami Society crowd. Nishida did it without shame, laughing in much the same manner as Kitano-sensei. Komano in turn would deliver his statements - supported by data of course - in a deadpan tone while adjusting his glasses. Oe-san took on the more delicate, roundabout way of trading insults, hiding them behind flowery words and poems. Taichi had always known she had a way with words, a skill honed by reading many books and poems.

She could sum up a situation in one short brutal sentence and deliver it with a straight innocent face. Her comment about him being "jack-of-all-trades, master of none," still felt like a knife through his heart every time he thought about it.

Tsukuba and Hanano-san adopted the sadistic ways of Harada-sensei. They were boisterous and loud and honestly Taichi wouldn't have it any other way.

Thoughts about his friends brought a smile to Taichi's face chasing away his depression. At least for the moment. His friends came to root for him and Chihaya today, decked in their old Mizusawa Team T-shirts. The atmosphere in the Learning Center Second Floor Urayasu Room was electrifying, many old and new faces having shown up to observe the match.

This year marked the first time Taichi and Chihaya were the Master and Queen Challengers at the same time. In their senior year in high school, Chihaya went on with Arata to challenge Wakamiya Shinobu and Suoh Hisaishi for their titles but only Arata emerged victorious. Chihaya had been devastated, made worse by the fact that she felt as if Arata was leaving her behind again.

The following year she lost in the West vs. East Qualifiers against Ousaka Megumu. On the day of the match, Chihaya had been close to delirious with fever yet insisted on playing. Taking a queue card from Harada-sensei, she strove to win the first match, forfeited the second and left it to the third to decide the outcome of the Challenger tournament. In the end, Ousaka Megumu won by a margin and Chihaya fainted right after the results had been announced.

The sad thing was it was the same year that he, Taichi, went on to fight Arata for the Meijin title and lost by a five-card difference. To add insult to injury, the Chihayfuru card - the one card he was sure never to lose - was the last one to be taken from him. At that point, Chigiriki card was still in play, placed in the top right corner of Arata's formation. The Chihayafuru on the other hand was placed in the lower left corner of his own. When the time came, Taichi gambled by attacking the Chigiriki card. He never ever expected for his own card to be read, and before he realized, Arata had already swiped it away. That night was the first time Taichi got drunk and wondered if he should quit karuta.

He didn't.

In their second year of university neither he nor Chihaya managed to become the Challengers, having lost in the Eastern Representative Qualifiers. Suoh-san was back with vengeance, but he and Yamamoto-san still ended up losing against the reigning Master and Queen.

Taichi thought that on the tatami mat, Arata ceased being their friend, and really became a karuta god. The longer he was the Master the further away he seemed to be.

After today's matches, the ceremony, required picture taking and small talks with acquaintances, his friends suggested going out to eat. Taichi was going to take them up on the offer - God knows losing against Arata makes him want to drink himself to death every time. Surprisingly enough, it was Chihaya who declined for both of them.

"Taichi, can you stay behind with me?" He could only dumbly nod in agreement. Chihaya had cried a bit after her loss - as she was always prone to - but recovered quite admirably. Except for the slight redness of her eyes she looked like her loss didn't affect her that much. After exchanging good-byes, the group left, Oe-san patting him a few times on his arm. Chihaya asked him to wait for her before going off to talk with Arata.

Taichi got held back by Harada-sensei who stared at him in silence for five full minutes. In the end, his teacher shook him a few times by the shoulders - still without saying anything – nodded and left. Hiroshi-san, who was standing off to the side, looked as bemused as Taichi felt. His sempai only shrugged and ran to catch up with their sensei.

When Taichi finally found Arata and Chihaya, the guy had his arm around her shoulder. Neither of them noticed him, both engrossed in their discussion, Chihaya holding loosely onto Arata's hakama sleeve. Something twisted in Taichi's gut when Arata leaned down to say something into Chihaya's ear. He couldn't stay there any longer and as always he ran away.

He had been sitting on the steps to Omi Jingu Shrine for a while now, quietly observing his breath becoming visible in the cold air. He didn't feel like going back to the hotel.

"What should I do now?" he wondered out loud.

Today's matches kept replaying in his mind - the order in which the poems were read, the dead cards that showed up in each game, the multiple changes Arata did to his formation - nasty bastard - the card placements...

Before the memorization period started, Arata had given him his trademark grin and said, "May the best man win," and all Taichi could think about was the Chihaya card taken from him two years ago. His face twisted in a grimace… Whether intentional or not, Taichi didn't like the double meaning behind Arata's words.

"May the best man win." Yeah, right. From the start Taichi knew he could never be the best.

He could never win against Arata when it came to karuta…He could never win against Arata when it came to Chihaya.

Taichi's mind registered the sound of approaching footsteps. He slowly looked up to see Chihaya stopping in front of him, the lights from the shrine lanterns illuminating her face. In her arms was the hakama packet, a duffel bag thrown over her shoulder. Her hair was still tied up, red flowers in them, a bit wilted, but still as vibrant as before.

"There you are! I was looking for you."

Taichi hung his head looking at the ground again. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't I tell you to wait for me? I wanted to stay with you," she sent him a grin.

Not that he noticed it. He was fidgeting with the strap of his sports bag. "What about Arata? Didn't you want to be with him?"

Chihaya furrowed her brows for a second but then shrugged and plopped down next to him, leaning back on her elbows to look up at the sky.

Taichi was exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally. He ran his hand through his hair. Her presence next to him, usually reassuring and sought after, felt wrong and irritating. Shouldn't she be somewhere else right now, like maybe next to Arata or something? Before he knew it words that he had been thinking for a long time finally left his mouth.

"I give up." – Chihaya's head snapped around to look at him – he ignored her and continued – "I should just give up on karuta…should have given up a long time ago…I'll never win against - "

SLAP

He felt a sting where Chihaya slapped him lightly on his cheek. It didn't hurt but her move still shocked him into silence. She looked at him, furious.

"What are you saying, Taichi?!"

He slowly raised his hand to touch his cheek looking at her like she grew an extra head.

"You were this close today - this close - from snatching the Meijin title from Arata! Give it one more year and that two card difference will shrink to one or zero difference for sure! I lost too. But you don't see me giving up, do you?" She looked down for a second, her voice turning from loud and angry to something quieter and more desperate – "If you quit karuta….it will be very hard to regain what you worked so long for! Why are you saying this now? Why do you want to give up?"

Taichi let his hand fall to his lap, unconsciously clenching it around the end of his scarf.

"Chihaya, it was always your goal to be the best in karuta. It was your goal to chase Arata. I just went with it. I never played for myself. I think it's time for me to step back."

Chihaya stayed quiet but when she looked up her eyes were spitting fire. There was so much force behind them that he actually thought about scooting back.

"Taichi, you are a liar. You love karuta. I know you do," and all he could think about was, "Dammit, it's not karuta that I love, it's you!" - growing angrier and angrier by the second.

Chihaya continued grabbing at his hand, "Come on Taichi…next year it will be us together, Meijin and Queen. If you give up now, who will play with me?"

He wasn't sure why but her words did not reassure him at all and only caused pure bitterness to rise within him. Why was he doing this to himself? He loved her but it didn't mean he had to go through torture like this, right?

Gosh, he was a masochist. In love with the one girl he knew he could never have. Playing a game he knew he could never win.

With difficulty Taichi pulled his hand away from Chihaya's – "Everything karuta, you did for the sake of reaching Arata. You've always loved him…always. You guys don't need me here to stand between you. It's not me that should be the Master next to you Chihaya. It's Arata" He stared off to the side, missing her look of confusion.

"Huh? Taichi, what are you talking about?"

He ignored her grabbing his bag. He started walking away, Chihaya still trying to catch his attention from behind his back.

"Oi, Taichi….Taichi….Taichi! – Wait! -….TAICHI!"

Chihaya - in a stroke of brilliance - decided to back knee* him, causing Taichi to fall hard to the ground with a shout. Groaning, he sat up gingerly, looking at his dirty and hurting palms. He snapped angrily, "What the heck was that for?!" trailing off soon after catching sight of Chihaya. She was crying again, anger mixed with hurt reflected on her face.

"Taichi… You don't get anything at all! Don't pretend like you know what other people are thinking!" Chihaya stubbornly wiped her tears away but more kept falling.

"...It's true that I used to love Arata...he introduced me to the world of karuta….he helped me find my dream. He was there as a guide and as someone to aspire for. He was a great teammate and friend and teacher and yes, he was someone I fell in love with…"

Taichi felt his heart breaking into million pieces….He moved to get up planning to run away and never look back when suddenly Chihaya slid down to the ground grasping his shoulders and holding him in place. She looked straight into his eyes and Taichi found it difficult to look away.

"But Taichi, Arata was over there. He was always in front of us…" She sent him a wobbly smile. "But you…you were always beside me. Right next to me. Sometimes in front, sometimes at the back, but always, always here! I want us to fight together again next year. I want us to win…and …I want the two of us to become Meijin and Queen….together." The last word had been whispered and Taichi nearly missed it.

He really had to force himself not to read too much into what she had just said. It sounded too close to a love confession than he would have preferred, than he could take. His traitorous heart still skipped a beat and equally traitorous mind whispered about what ifs. He desperately shook his head ridding himself of any hope. Taichi hung his head, his bangs falling in front of his eyes, hiding his eyes and the tears that he didn't want to admit were forming there. He lightly grasped Chihaya's hands and peeled them away from his shoulders.

"Fine…I won't quit." It hurt to say those words but he did.

Chihaya smiled through her tears, "You understand then, don't you?

He nodded looking away, "I will keep helping you …until the day you can reach Arata."

He started picking himself up from the ground when suddenly Chihaya pulled hard at his arm. Taichi fell again with a shout nearly bowling over her smaller posture. She snapped at him furiously,

"Arata, Arata, Arata, all you talk about is Arata! I'm the one who was in love with him but why is it that you're the only one mentioning his name?!"

He stared at her shell shocked, mouth parted, but Chihaya wasn't finished.

"I might have been in love with Arata in the past but it's the you in front of me that I love right now! "

She stood up quickly grabbing at her belongings, "I have enough! Do what you want and see if I care anymore!" she glared at him and stomped away furiously.

For the moment, Taichi was too shocked to move. Her final words kept replaying in his mind.

"The you in front of me is the one I love right now!"

With a burst of speed he didn't know he possessed, Taichi caught up with Chihaya, turned her around and pulled her into his arms. The sound of her bag and hakama hitting the ground vaguely registered in his mind but right then he could only feel her body against his, strawberry and vanilla mixed with the scent of sweat and tatami mat invading his nose as he buried his face into her hair.

"The one I love right now," her words echoed in his mind. He wanted to hear them again...

He wanted to hear them again...

His mind screamed, say it, say it, say it, say it, say it…-

"Say it again,"- he found himself voicing his thoughts, his grip tightening around Chihaya, bringing her even closer.

"Eh?"

"Say it again…that you like me…."

Chihaya stayed quiet. Taichi suddenly felt cold and couldn't help but wonder if he somehow misheard misunderstood, mis-something!

"Was it a lie?"

This time Chihaya reacted by trying to wriggle out of his arms,

"Are you stupid? Why would I lie about that?!"

"Then say it again!" he all but shouted shocking her into silence.

"Please…" He didn't know what he would do if it wasn't true. If she suddenly turned around and said, "Just kidding." He knew he would never be able to pick himself up from this fall. He was pathetic. There was no going back from this moment.

They both stayed silent.

After what felt like eternity he felt her body relaxing against his, her arms slowly wounding around his waist. She put her chin on his shoulder and whispered into his ear – "I love you, Taichi."

He couldn't believe it….he couldn't. He brought her closer-

"Again."

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Ag-…ain."

"I love you."

The tears he was holding back since today's loss, since he saw Arata and Chihaya together, since he heard Chihaya's confession - heck since forever really - finally trailed down his cheek. He hid his face in her shoulder, quite embarrassed at his overemotional state. He was the calm, collected Mashima Taichi for God's sake.

If Chihaya could feel his shoulders shaking and feel his tears sliding down her neck she ignored them. She only held on tighter, and whispered into his ear again.

"I love you."

They stood there for a long time. Long after he had calmed down. Long after the last train had left.

They lost tonight's match, but they gained something else.

A/N. I'm sorry if the characters might seem OOC to you. They are older after all, and in my opinion the longer you harbor an unrequited love the more messed up you become. Hence, the insecurity that Taichi feels and possible explanation to his overreaction to Chihaya's confession. Imagine all that pent up frustration finally finding a release.

This story will be a series of loosely interconnected one-shots. Probably three of them. Maybe more…probably more. Because I can't seem to stop writing.

Timeline (although my goal was to make it clear enough in the chapter itself): This takes place 3 years after the Core Mizusawa group, meaning Taichi, Chihaya, Kana-chan, Komano and Nishida, had graduated from High School. They are now in their third year of University while Hanano and Tsukuba are in their second year. I'm making it an assumption that they all go to the same Uni (with Arata).

I'm sorry I've been spamming the Chihayafuru fandom with my fics.

Next up: Taichi calls Arata up to break the news.

*to back knee somebody (made up word)- when a person uses their own knees to knock them against the back of somebody else's knees causing the other person to fall. If someone knows the correct term for that move, please tell me D: