It's horrible to say, but he's kind of glad that Eastern Europe isn't there, because to look at Francis and think six hundred thousand is bad, but to look at Feliks and think six million-

-Ivan and think twenty-six million-

-he can't.

Alfred bumps him in the shoulder, and Ludwig staggers a little- Alfred flourishes, throws around money and plans and threats of warheads like a child with a new ball, and he is so very strong and loud. "You kind of have to go in the meeting room to have a meeting."

Ludwig nods.

Deep breaths.

Just a meeting.

Deep breaths.

Follow Alfred.

Deep breaths-

He's inside and there're people in the room, people he hasn't seen in four years and people he sees because they occupied his lands for four years, Arthur and Lotte and Mathijs and Francis and Feliciano-

Don't make eye contact.

Just. Sit down, next to Alfred loud and overbearing, don't talk because they don't want to hear, for God's sake don't look at them and Ludwig will be fine.

four hundred fifty thousand nine hundred, eighty-eight thousand, three hundred and one thousand, six hundred thousand, four hundred fifty four thousand six hundred

Ludwig has a government now, they have promised to help him (but isn't that what they said too, we are only making you stronger and better and turn away from these people and these documents and these trains and he had listened), but he lets Alfred do the talking still because Ludwig has seen and Francis has seen and Arthur has seen how very, very easily Alfred can get angry nowadays, and more people angry at him is the last thing Ludwig needs.

And it sticks in his throat, to follow after Alfred, to avert his eyes from everyone, but he knows that if he does talk barely two words can squeeze out of his mouth before all the shame comes crashing down around him, all the memories of every single thing his people did and he did and he condoned flying thick through his mind (like his planes over Warsaw and London and Alfred's over Dresden) and now everyone is looking at him.

"I—" They'd been talking about him, definitely, because they tend not to let him into the meetings that don't directly affect him, because Mathijs is skeletal and Francis's arms are still bandaged and Feliciano doesn't smile, but even now he can't find his voice beneath the wrenching in his gut how can you speak to them how dare you speak to them-

And in the end, all Ludwig can do is push the sheaf of paper Adenauer gave him into the middle of the table and stare at his lap, because he is weak and always has been.

okay so the numbers are the estimated death toll from WWII for each country, in the order they're listed

mathijs is the netherlands, which went through one hell of a famine in 1944-45, and lotte is belgium

america was a very very overbearing presence in west germany for a while, because it was right up next to all them reds

adenauer was chancellor of west germany until 1963 and he was hella cool like oh wow this man was great