A/N This is the first chapter of my second story The Benefits. It will be a dark Harry story, but he will not be evil or side with Voldemort. The pairing will be Harry/Daphne. At first we're going to see a very canon-esque Harry (depressed, pushes people away, etc…) But as the story progresses he and some of the other characters will come into their own. I won't be putting any more chapters up for this story until I finish Darkness Falls Upon Us, but I am looking for all the feedback I can get on this story idea. This is also my first attempt at a first person perspective in almost 7 years, so sorry if some of the grammar and syntax is wrong. I'll do my best to clean it up in the later chapters. (Also as a side note I'm still deployed, but I was able to get access to a computer with internet and post these chapters up. Darkness Falls will be continued in 2 months or so. Cheers to all my readers!)

I didn't know where I was going to go, but anywhere away from the accusing and disbelieving eyes was good enough for me. The halls seemed to be a blur as I moved quickly down one after another attempting to find myself so lost that no one would be able to find me.

The staircases seemed to be in a good mood as they shifted each and every time I approached one. If anyone even cared enough to try and look for me they would never be able to catch up. I kept up my wandering for another fifteen minutes or so before finally coming to a halt in front of an old wooden door.

It wasn't the normal type of classroom door I had become so accustomed to seeing. This one was more decorated; it had a faded silver trim and worn away carvings on the door. Even the handle was more decorated than the usual metal rung that hung on the other doors. If I had to take a guess I would say I had come across an old professor's office. At the moment I didn't really care if it had been an out of service loo though. I just needed a place to let my frustrations run free.

I tried to pull the door open, but found it to be locked. I slipped my wand out of my pocket and brought it around in front of me to aim at the door. I whispered a quick alohomora and was satisfied when I heard the tell-tale sound of a locking mechanism click.

I pulled the door open this time meeting no resistance. I turned to make sure to close the door quietly and secure the door again, but stopped when I felt the tip of a wand press into the nape of my neck.

It was strange; normally if I was in any danger the hairs on the back of my neck would stand up and alert me. Or at the very least it gave me a better chance at survival. It was like my sixth sense I suppose. This time however I had been let down and now stood an easy target of whoever was behind me.

Strangely this didn't bother me though. I only hoped that whatever they chose to do to me would end my existence. It was what I deserved after all; I had cost Cedric his life so it was only fair that I lose mine as well. I was momentarily shocked when my captor finally spoke. It wasn't the rough voice of a man as I had expected, but rather a more soft melodious voice that was clearly female.

"Slowly, very slowly I want you to replace the locking charm that was on the door and then pocket your wand. If you try to do anything more I will cleave your head from your shoulders. Nod once if you understand this." She said to me and I found myself tempted to disobey, but involuntarily I found my head nodding in the affirmative.

Cautiously I raised my wand from my side and with a quick flick of my wand the door was once again locked. It was an odd thought that ran through my mind then; it was like I was sealing my own grave.

My hand fell back to my side and my wand found itself once again resting in my pocket. For a few moments I stood still waiting for my next command. Nothing came and I thought about turning around only to have the wand press more firmly into me when I started to rotate.

"Don't turn around. I'm trying to decide what to do with you." This was a small comfort to me because at least my fate hadn't been decided yet. Maybe if I could keep her talking I would be able to convince her to spare me.

Hesitantly I began to speak making sure to choose my words carefully. "I could just leave now. I haven't seen your face and honestly nothing has been done. I was merely looking for an abandoned place. If I had known you were in here then I would never have opened the door."

After a pause which felt like an hour, but in reality was probably only a minute I heard my captor sigh and felt the wand drop from my neck. I took this as a sign that it was okay to turn around. This time as I began to rotate I found nothing to stop me. By the time I was finally facing into the room to get my first look the other occupant of the room had already moved to the other side and was sitting on a red sofa.

I got my first good look at the girl when I took a few more steps into the room, my hand buried in my pocket grasping my wand just in case she changed her mind. I didn't recognize her, but that didn't surprise me. After Ron and Hermione has abandoned me during the tournament I began to realize just how sheltered I was at school. I had no friends outside of Gryffindor that I could think of, and that had bothered me.

When I was younger and living with the Dursleys one of the few things I had craved had been friends. When I came to Hogwarts I had been given my first real chance to have as many as I wanted, yet I had let opportunities pass me by because I thought of people by their house.

I had come to realize that not all Gryffindors were good kind hearted people. The experience with Pettigrew my previous year and just hours prior showed me that. So if not all Gryffindors possessed their house attributes then the same could be true for people from all houses I figured.

I continued to observe the girl who just minutes prior had held me at wand point. I was looking for anything that might give me a clue as to who she was. The first thing I noticed about her was her jet black hair. It hung just a few inches past her shoulders and had a shine to it. She was wearing robes of a higher quality than the normal school robes, so she was either a pureblood or a half blood with wealthy parents.

Currently she was barefoot, but her toes had been painted a dark shade of green so that could be a sign that she was a Slytherin. Normally I would have panicked right at that thought, but I had made up my mind to expand my circle of friends and this was probably the first and possibly the only chance I would get with a Slytherin in the foreseeable future.

When I finally looked back up into her face it was to find a pair of bright blue eyes looking back at me. They stood to be a shocking contrast to the girl's otherwise dark features. I noticed the eyes appeared to be slightly glossy and her cheeks looked red and puffy. I had the distinct impression I had walked in on this mystery girl while she was crying and suddenly felt guilty.

I hadn't set out to disturb anyone else's time alone. Only to find myself somewhere to go that I could relive the horrors of the past day by myself.

Her voice drew me from my quiet observation.

"Potter, if it isn't too much trouble for you maybe you could stop staring at me. It's kind of creepy and I get leered at enough."

My previous melancholy thoughts about the tournament were momentarily forgotten as her accusation hit me. She thought I had been checking her out this whole time, and I mean it's not that she wasn't beautiful, but I hadn't meant to come across as a pervert. I opened my mouth to try and protest the accusations already knowing it was probably useless.

"I wasn't leering at you. I was trying to find something I could use to recognize you by. I don't know very many people in this school it would seem and I'm at a loss as to who you are." I answered her honestly seeing as I hadn't been doing anything wrong.

She seemed to ponder this before shrugging at me. "Whatever you say. Just don't do it again. As for the not knowing who I am, well how about we just keep it that way for now. Aren't you going to ask how I knew who you were?"

This time I snorted at her. "Are you kidding me? I mean everyone knows the oh so famous Harry Potter! The boy-who-just-wouldn't-fucking-die!"

I realized I might have gone overboard with the sarcasm and hyphenated name, but for the first time since I entered the room I saw the girl crack some semblance of a smile, but as quick as it was there it disappeared again.

"If you're looking for a pity party Potter, you've come to the wrong spot. If you're just looking for a spot to wallow in your sorrow and self-pity then I suppose there is a nice dark corner over there you can have."

She made some grand gesture towards the far side of the room where I found my eyes wandering to what was indeed a dark corner. This time it was me who couldn't help smiling slightly. It was the first time I had done so since I saw Cedric…I shook my head violently I didn't want to think about that right now.

I decided to try and keep the mood light-hearted to help distract my thoughts. I gave a deep exaggerated bow before responding. "Oh you're so kind to me queen of the sorrow sofa. My own personal corner oh boy I just can't wait to test it out!"

I turned my back towards her thinking that I had gotten the last comment in, but stopped in my tracks when her voice cut through the room again. "Damn right I'm the queen and don't you forget it Potter. Now hurry up and get to your corner peasant!"

A full blown smile played across my face at that as I made a show of hurriedly scampering to the corner. Even though I couldn't see her face I suspected she was smiling just as large as I was. When I reached the corner I sat down against the wall and pulled my robes tight around me to fight off some of the chill from the cold stone. It was then that I remembered the special medicine I had brought with me. It was a present from Fred and George last year after a Quidditch win, but I had just never had an opportunity to use it. Now however I assumed this would be as good a time as any.

I pulled the bottle of fire whiskey from my cloak and cracked the seal. The sound drew the girl's attention, but she said nothing else before she went back to staring into the distance.

I took my first sip and nearly gagged as the amber liquid burned as it went down. After the initial shock though I found that the taste was actually pretty good. I took a bigger swig this time and suddenly my head felt a little bit lighter and I began to warm up.

After two or three more drinks from the bottle I couldn't keep quiet or still any longer. So I decided to get up and make my way over towards the sofa. My movements attracted the attention of the dark haired beauty already sitting there.

She didn't say anything until I had plopped myself down on the cushion next to her.

"I guess you didn't fully understand when I said the dark corner Potter so let me make myself really clear this time. You are to stay in that corner and not wander anywhere else."

In my new found state of awareness and boldness I pretended to ponder this before answering. "I would do that, but the company is just so much better over here and besides there is more than enough room on this sofa for both of us."

She raised an eyebrow at me this time. "There is enough room if we're sitting, but what if I want to lie down? You are quite clearly in my way then."

I looked at her then at the sofa, and back to her. What I did next I definitely wouldn't have done if I had been sober. I grabbed the pillow out from behind me and put it on my lap.

"Well now you can lay your head on the pillow and stretch out. I don't mind at all." I leaned back and gestured to her to try it out to show her I was being serious.

"Clearly that whiskey has affected your brain more than I originally thought if you just tried to get me to use you as a pillow."

I frowned at her and grasped my heart. "Ouch, that hurts right here. I didn't think I was that repulsive. Alright we'll make a compromise. When you're ready to go to sleep I will move back to my corner, but right now I'm not tired."

She sighed at me but nodded her head in the affirmative before turning away and staring at a blank wall. I tried to do the same, but soon found my concentration wondering. The room didn't have much to entertain me with. There was the sofa, a few chairs and a big wooden desk. It looked to be mahogany if I remembered anything at all from my classes at primary school, which I probably didn't.

I took another drink from my bottle which didn't seem to be getting any less full. Suddenly I wondered if Fred and George had done something to it to make it refill itself. We had read briefly about refilling charms in class.

With every drink I took I felt my confidence start to grow. That was when I realized that I was being a terrible guest.

"Would you like a drink?" I held the bottle out my companion. She eyed it for a minute before taking it from me and downing a large quantity.

"Fuck it, obviously you aren't going to just let me sit here and enjoy the peace and quiet Potter. So let's just drink this bottle and then go to bed. Who knows maybe this will help to chase away some of the sorrows we have."

I smiled at her as I took back the bottle and took another drink. "So what has you here then mystery girl? Usually I'm the only one out brooding during this time of night."

She took another large drink before answering me. "Potter we aren't friends and you don't even know who I am. Why would I share something so personal with you?"

I blinked owlishly and then spoke as if it was common sense. "Those are the reasons you should tell me. Besides after we finish this bottle most likely neither of us will remember this conversation. I figured it can't hurt to talk about the shit that's bothering us. I'll go first if it makes you feel any better."

We passed the bottle back and forth again and then she made a go ahead motion with her hand at me as she put the bottle to her lips.

"Alright then, like I told you I came here looking for a place to just be alone. You probably saw the end of the tournament. I wanted to escape the accusing eyes of everyone else. They all think I'm some type of loon who murdered Cedric just to win this fucking tournament."

"Yeah I saw it, you suddenly showed up cradling the guy's body ranting that the dark lord is back. What did you expect was going to happen? No one wants to believe that after so many years of relative peace that the dark times are about to return."

There was something in the way she worded it that caught my attention. "You sound like you believe me that Voldemort is back." She didn't flinch when I said his name but I didn't know if that was normal or because of the alcohol.

I took the bottle from her as she began to speak. "Of course I believe you. That's the whole reason I'm here now Potter. The return of that monster has pretty much sealed my fate."

That caught my attention and put me slightly on guard. I made a go on motion with my hand as I set the now quickly emptying bottle down between us.

She took a deep breath and then started. "You see my family isn't a dark family. We're one of the few families that managed to avoid the war last time. We weren't forced to take sides as so many were. However this time around my father fears we will not be so lucky."

I watched as she took another swig from the bottle before continuing. "Lucius Malfoy has been contacting my father for months with hints of a marriage contract between Draco and me. Also included in the letter were not so subtly veiled threats about what would happen if he were to refuse. I've tried to argue with my father; even gone so far as begged and pleaded all to no avail. Thanks to the dark lord returning it's almost guaranteed that I will have my life and purity signed away." Her cheeks tinged a slightly darker red as she said the last part.

"By purity you mean your…." I trailed off and made a gesture towards her lower regions.

She didn't respond just nodded slightly. We sat in awkward silence for a minute until she cleared her throat and I realized I had been staring at her lower half. Quickly my eyes shot up and that movement alone made me dizzy. I braced myself on the arm of the sofa as the room seemed to spin.

A hand reached out and grabbed onto me as I felt myself began to fall towards the floor. It pulled me back onto the couch where I landed on something soft and warm. I looked up only to find myself staring at an amused pair of blue eyes.

"And here I was thinking I got to be the one to use someone as a pillow Potter."

That's when I realized my head had landed in her lap and I was now sprawled out on the sofa. I made no effort to adjust myself or move from my current position though. I felt like any movement might make me sick. My pillow began to run her hands through my hair and I felt myself relax into the touch. As I relaxed the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach began to go away.

A quiet voice drew my attention back as I began to drift asleep to the gentle touch.

"Will you tell me about tonight, I mean the full story? I want to know what happened and I promise I won't judge you no matter what."

Suddenly I no longer felt drunk and I could practically feel my eyes darkening. I didn't want to talk about what had happened in the maze, but she had shared something personal with me. It was only fair that I give her the truth about what had happened.

"Yes I will tell you, but I warn you it isn't a pleasant story." She nodded her head before I continued. "Well when I entered the maze I could tell something was wrong. I don't know how to describe it but something just felt off about the whole thing. Regardless I started to proceed forward into the maze using a point me spell."

I picked up the bottle to take a drink only to find it empty. I set it down disappointed to find my liquid courage had run dry. It seemed like I was going to have to finish this story with nothing but my own will.

"After about fifteen minutes or so in the maze I hadn't come across any obstacles. This had me on high alert as they had told us beforehand that each champion would face many obstacles on their way to the cup. That's when I heard Fleur, the French champion, scream from the lane next to me. Well everyone always said I had a bit of a hero complex and I guess they were right. Without even thinking I cast an incendio at the hedge and burned my way through."

I took a pause to gather my thoughts and remember as clearly as possible what had happened next.

"What I saw was horrible. It was my first time seeing the effects of a Cruciatus curse on a person. Fleur was lying on the ground and I watched as her limbs twisted in odd directions. Her body convulsed and spasmed in the mud. Her normally platinum blonde hair was tinged with red and brown. The red I assumed was blood. Finally I was able to draw my eyes away from her to find the attacker. To my surprise I looked to the left and saw Viktor Krum."

I stopped as the girl gasped and looked like she was going to say something, but I stopped her as I didn't think I would be able to continue if I let her cut in.

"I knew something was very wrong at that point. Durmstrang has a bad reputation because they teach the dark arts, but what many people don't know is that I spent some time talking to Krum this year. He wanted to win this tournament fair and square, so he could prove to people that his talent wasn't only on a broom. I knew he wouldn't have resorted to cheating like that. My thoughts were confirmed when I looked into his eyes. They were clouded and glossed over. It was one of the sure fire ways to tell if someone was under the Imperius. Moody or really impostor Moody taught us about it earlier this year."

"Anyway Krum was too focused on his target to notice that I had come through the hedge so I was able to easily stun and disarm him. I grabbed his wand just in case he had managed to wake up from my stunning spell. I rushed to Fleur to try and help her, but it was no good. She had passed out from the pain of the spell and was barely breathing. I took her wand and fired red sparks into the air. That was what the judges told us to do if we needed help. I figured they would find her and Krum at the same time. What I didn't expect was for the whole maze to suddenly start caving in around me. I started to run as the hedges closed off and tried to trap me in them. I barely made it into the clear as the row I had been in was completely grown over and I could no longer see Fleur or Krum. I contemplated giving up right there and now I wish I had."

I sat up so that I could lean back against the sofa as I stared at the wall and continued to talk about what had happened. "In the end I decided to continue going so that I could possibly warn Cedric that something was wrong. After travelling for another minute or two I came across a sphinx. I was able to successfully answer its riddle and pass without harm. I wandered a little bit further and came across a strange mist that made the world seem as if it was inverted, when in reality I was still walking on the ground. After my initial panic I was able to get past that fairly quickly. I took the chance to use my point me spell at that point and started wandering in the direction of the cup. It was only a few minutes before I ran into Cedric." I stopped as tears came to my eyes. I swiped at them embarrassed that I was crying in front of this girl I didn't even know. As I made to wipe at them again though I felt a hand come up and grab mine. She pulled my hand down to her lap and began rubbing small circles on the back of mine to comfort me. It worked after a minute and I calmed down enough to continue.

"Immediately I told Cedric about what had happened to me. At first he seemed weary about believing the story, but then he agreed that we should stick together. We started walking down the path in front of us and then we saw it. The cup was only about fifteen meters in front of us. We turned and smiled at each other; both glad that it was almost over. Of course it wasn't that easy though. Suddenly a large form shot out of the hedges behind us and crashed into our legs. Cedric landed awkwardly and he wound up twisting his ankle. I got up as quick as possible and tried to identify what had hit us. When I got a look at it my heart dropped though. It was an acromantula. The venom was dripping from its fangs and it looked poised to strike again. I rolled to the side as it sprung at me and tried to hit it with a disarming spell only to have it bounce off the thick hide. Cedric had recovered at this point and managed to get a cutting charm in that clipped one of the legs. Anyway we continued on with that plan of attack until we were finally able to chase the creature off back into the maze. That should have been it right there. There was nothing between us and the cup. With Cedric's ankle busted I could have easily beaten him and taken it for myself."

I looked over at her for the first time since I had started talking. "That's what I should have done. I should have taken it by myself. Cedric would still be alive if I had just been selfish. Instead I told him that we should take the cup together. That way Hogwarts could share the win. He finally agreed and then we grabbed it together. The portkey that was meant to take me away took us both. When we landed we didn't even have time to figure out where we were before we were bound. Cedric tried to stand up and get free and that's when I heard his voice. Kill the spare he said. Those three words are going to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. Kill the spare. Cedric wasn't supposed to be there. It was supposed to be just me. It's my fault he's dead. Everyone is right; I did kill Cedric."

I broke down this time and it took the last of my will power to not flee from the room in embarrassment. However instead of the laughter or ridicule I had come to expect when I showed weakness in front of people the girl wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her. I'm not quite sure how long we stayed sitting like that, but I found that I didn't mind the closeness. I gained some strength from the fact that she hadn't berated me for crying or anything and decide to finish the story.

"I looked up just in time to see the bright green light collide with Cedric. It was painless and quick which is the only comfort I can take. He immediately ceased moving and fell to the ground. His eyes were open, but dull and unseeing. I was distracted when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. A short figure in a dark cloak came out of the shadows where seconds earlier the fatal beam of light had erupted from. My blood began to boil as I recognized who it was. This may sound unbelievable to you, but it was Peter Pettigrew."

This time I let her ask the inevitable question. "But Pettigrew is dead isn't he? Sirius Black killed him the night he betrayed your parents."

I shook my head. "That is just what Voldemort wanted everyone to think. Pettigrew was the one who betrayed my parents. He blew up the street and escaped in the explosion while cutting off one of his fingers. He framed Sirius for the whole thing and has been in hiding ever since. But that's getting away from the story and onto another topic I don't want to discuss."

By this time I realized I had sobered up almost completely thanks to the extreme emotional outbursts. I continued on anyway though, "So Pettigrew starts to taunt me, and then he lifts up a bundle of robes with the remains of Voldemort's soul or body or whatever you want to call it. Voldemort ordered him to complete the ritual; Pettigrew being the faithful little rat that he is quickly obliged. He needed three things: first he needed a bone from Voldemort's father which was easy to get since we were in the graveyard where he was buried. Next he needed blood from an enemy that was forcibly taken. That was why I was there; I think Voldemort wanted to make an example out of me since he could have used any of the people who stand against him. He wanted to show the world that I wasn't safe even at Hogwarts. So Pettigrew came up to me and sliced my arm open. The last thing was definitely the most sick. It required flesh of the servant to be willingly given. I'm not talking about a finger or anything either. Pettigrew willingly chopped off his own arm from the elbow down. I'm getting chills just thinking about the sound it made as it collided with the boiling water of the cauldron."

"At that point I remember wishing and hoping that Voldemort would drown and that the ritual wouldn't work. For a second I was foolish enough to believe that it had worked, and then a figure began to rise from the cauldron. Pettigrew brought him a robe and his wand. That was when the dark lord had returned. He used the mark on Pettigrew's arm to summon his followers to him. He went around the circle calling all of them out for not seeking him out to offer assistance. Then he approached me. I was still tied to a gravestone and unable to do anything. He reached out and touched my forehead, right where my scar is, and my world exploded into pain. All I wanted to do at that point was to die and join Cedric in sweet release. It wasn't to be though; Voldemort unbound me and gave me my wand. He told me he wanted to duel me so that no one could question his power. He tried to make me bow to him, but I refused. Then he used the Imperius on me, but I was able to throw it off. It was stupid on my part I suppose since that only served to enrage him further. I didn't even have a chance to move when I felt like hot knives were lancing through my skin as it was being stretched out. The Cruciatus is a horrible experience I would never wish upon anyone." I paused to take a breath and decide whether or not to tell her about the event with our wands during the duel. On one hand I hadn't meant to tell nearly this much to a girl I didn't even know; on the other hand though telling her what had happened and how I felt was actually a relief.

It was strange, since I had talked to Ron and Hermione about things that had happened and never felt this way. For the first time in my life it felt like someone truly understood that saying "You'll be fine." Or "Don't worry mate, no one blames you." Would not fix this. This mystery girl was listening to what I had to say, but she didn't offer any advice or try and comfort me. It was forcing me to deal with my own demons and for that I was grateful. I made up my mind then that she needed to know the whole story; that I wanted her to know the whole truth.

"After he lifted the curse he told me that I should have just bowed and it would have been easier. I rose to my feet and then the duel really started. His wand was a blur as spells sliced through the air towards me. All I could do was hide behind gravestones. It was after I dodged a killing curse that I remember I had my father's cloak in my pocket. This is a secret that very few people know, but I possess an invisibility cloak. I hope you won't go telling about that. Anyway so I threw the cloak over me and it bought me enough time to try and think of a plan. However I was out of ideas and then the gravestone I had been behind exploded. I turned and fired off the first spell that came to mind. A stupid fucking disarming charm. Here I was going against one of the most evil and powerful people to ever live and I throw a disarming charm. Well as luck had it I have the brother wand to Voldemort's which resulted in an event that Dumbledore described to me as Prior Incantatum. Basically our spells collided and a golden dome surrounded us. There was a bead on the line that connected our wands and I managed to drive it back into Voldemort's. This caused the memories of the most recent people he had killed to come forth. I saw Cedric, some woman I didn't know, my father, and my mother. Cedric asked me to take my body back to his family. Then my parents told me I needed to summon the portkey and grab Cedric's body to go back. I broke the connection between our wands and they rushed Voldemort as their memory forms faded to give me the time I needed to escape. Then I landed in the middle of the stadium and you know the rest of the story."

I refused to meet her eyes after I finished. Twice I had broken down and cried and now that I was done telling my tale I was sure she was going to mock me. I was surprised again when she leaned her head on my shoulder and looped her arm through mine.

"Well after hearing the day you've had Potter, my problems don't seem all that bad. So I guess that means your company was good for something tonight."

I couldn't believe it. She wasn't judging me in fact all she had done was make a joke about the situation. "I don't understand, how can you be so at ease with what I just told you? How can you not look at me and see someone who got his classmate killed? How can you not see the coward who ran and hid because he couldn't think of any other plan?"

For a moment she was silent as I stared at the top of her head. "It's simple Potter. It was Diggory's decision to take the cup with you. He wanted that victory, he may not have wanted to die granted, but he wanted to be a champion. If you had let him take it then he would have died regardless; we both know you are to selfless to ever take the cup by yourself. So in either situation Diggory dies. You're not a coward for hiding from the most powerful dark lord of our time. Hell that makes you more sensible than any Gryffindor at this school."

I was thinking about what she was telling me and then I decided to throw her off a little bit. "You know I was supposed to be a Slytherin. The hat told me I would do great and wonderful things there, but I had met Malfoy while I was doing my shopping and begged to be put anywhere else."

She snorted at me, "Glad to know you judged our entire house off of one bad egg. Granted there are a good amount of people who believe in the same things that Malfoy does and are just as arrogant, but then there are people like me who just want to achieve great things. Our house is known for ambition, and that sometimes leads us into darker or ulterior ways of accomplishing what we want. Honestly though, I can't see you being a Slytherin. The years with the lions must have really altered your personality."

I was immediately going to jump to defense of my house when I thought about what she had said. Before Hogwarts I was studious, but hid it from the Dursleys. I worked hard at my school work and even during my chores. I was quiet and didn't show a whole lot of emotion, because I learned early on that emotion would only result in more pain for me. Once I joined Gryffindor though, I started to rely on Hermione for my homework. If I did do it on my own it was usually sub-par. I had become lazy in the past few years and more prone to outbursts.

"I can't believe it, but you're right you know. I really have changed from who I used to be. I wish I had noticed it sooner. I'm going to have a lot of work to do to get back to the person I want to be."

I could feel her nodding her head against my shoulder. "Well better late than never right? If I could make a suggestion though, I would either ditch Weasley and Granger or at the very least push them away." She reached up and put a finger on my lips to stop my argument. "Listen before you explode. Have you never wondered how it was so convenient that the first people you meet are die hard Gryffindors who look to Dumbledore for everything? Besides Weasley isn't very intelligent or competent with a wand. His family is about as poor as it comes and have no political connections to use. He offers you no benefits as a friend or acquaintance. Granger will be threatened by you if you were to suddenly start trying to match her in her studies. She would be prone to jealousy if you did better instead of encouragement. Eventually she would stop talking to you altogether anyway. You don't have to heed my advice though; if you don't eventually they'll abandon you just like they did earlier this year; only this time it will be permanently."

I pulled away from her but was careful to make sure she didn't tumble down on top of me as I did so. "You don't know Ron or Hermione! How can you just tell me to abandon them? Not all friends have to offer benefits or something to gain. Some people are just fun to be around. I had thought you were different than the rest of the Slytherins, but here you are spouting the same garbage they do. I don't use my friends for things!"

I looked into her eyes as she shook her head and for a second I thought I could see pity, but then it was replaced by a cool determination. "That's a shame then Potter. I thought I had actually talked some sense into Gryffindor's golden boy. Friendships should all be mutually beneficial. Both people should be able to gain more than a few laughs and friendly rows out of it. You don't have to use them exactly. That brings me to something else though… this is more difficult to approach and I'm not sure where to start so I will ask you to bear with me and not interrupt."

I was still angry at her, but she had listened when I needed it so I agreed if only to repay the favor.

"We both have problems right now. You seem fine for the moment, but I have no doubts that if you were to go lie down and try and sleep you would be immediately haunted again by the visions of what has happened. Is that correct?" I nodded my head slowly still not sure where she was going with this. "I told you about my problem and how I'm most likely going to be married off to Malfoy this summer or at least arranged to be married. However I think I know a way to help both of us."

I felt my mouth go dry as I started to get an idea of where she was going with this. "Go on, I'm still listening." I wanted to hear her say it to confirm what I thought she was implying.

"I think that if I were to lose my purity then Draco would be uninterested. When two pureblooded families sign a marriage contract a test is done on the female to insure she is clean and pure, but if I was to be impure then I would not be desirable. The contract may not even be possible at that point. "

I barely got my next sentence out as my brain fully processed what she had just said. "So you think that if we sleep together I won't have bad dreams, that I'll be distracted from the nightmares. In return you're gaining a possible way out of your marriage to the ferret. Do I understand this correctly?"

She nodded her head shyly a light blush splaying across her cheeks. "That's correct. Believe me Potter if I thought that the benefits of this arrangement weren't worth it then I never would have offered. Sometimes though, like this case, the benefits are well worth it. Besides someday I'll be able to brag about being Harry Potter's first." She winked at me her previous shy demeanor gone and now I could feel my cheeks burning red.

"Fine, I'll do it. But I have one condition first. You have to tell me your name."

She laughed and for the first time it sounded genuine to me. "I'll tell you in the morning, I can't risk having you run out on me now. Is that fair?"

In my head I was thinking anyone would be an idiot to run out on the beautiful girl in front of me when she was offering herself up. However I merely nodded to show that I agreed. "So how do we do this? I don't really have any experience with this type of thing…" I trailed off embarrassed at my lack of experience with females.

Another laugh graced my ears and I was beginning to really enjoy the sound. Now that my emotions weren't in such a mess from the story I could feel the previous buzz from the alcohol starting to come back to me. I didn't receive any words as a response. Instead she leaned forward and wrapped a hand around my neck as she pressed her lips to mine lightly. I wasn't sure what to do, but I decided to wing it and tried to mirror the movements of her lips against mine. I was surprised when I felt her tongue slip out and try and part my lips. Involuntarily they opened just enough for our tongues to meet.

LEMON

I was definitely not against making out with the black haired beauty in my arms I decided. I had been wary at first, but it seemed like she was right that sometimes the benefits were just too good to pass up. I took my arm and wrapped it around her lower back as I pushed forward and lowered her into position beneath me. Feeling slightly bold thanks to my returning buzz I slipped my hand underneath the thin fabric of the shirt she was wearing. As I moved it up I hesitated only for a second before cupping one of her breasts through the silky lace bra she was wearing. The moan that escaped her mouth as I squeezed nearly drove me into a lust filled madness.

I tensed for a moment when I suddenly felt my shirt and pants disappear. I opened my eyes in time to see her discarding her wand on the floor next to the sofa. We were both now laying together in nothing but our undergarments. I was thankful I had worn one of the few pairs of boxers that I owned that weren't cast offs from Dudley.

Her warm skin underneath my hands felt amazing and I found myself slowly losing control of my movements. My hands began to wander everywhere exploring every inch of her body. They ended on the clasp of her bra as our lips parted for air. We locked eyes and I asked for silent confirmation to continue which I received.

My fingers fumbled awkwardly with the clasp for a few seconds before I got it and we moved apart to let the bra be pulled away leaving her topless beneath me. She reached up and grabbed the top of my head and pulled me down to her. My lips kissed around her nipple at first, teasing her. Her hands running through my hair felt so good as I began to suck on her tit. This caused her to arch beneath me and my dick brushed against her leg.

As I continued to work on her tits, one of her hands snaked its way down and below the waist band of my boxers. She grasped my cock and began to stroke it slowly up and down. This time it was me who moaned out loud. The feeling of her hand wrapped around me was too great to put into words. I hadn't ever been in a situation like this before and hoping to not mess it up I began to copy her actions. My hand found its way down and inside of her lace underwear. My fingers reached where she was wet and I slowly began to rub in circles. It only took me a second to locate her clit and I start playing with it using the pad of my thumb as I gently began to slip one finger inside of her tight pussy.

It took a little work, but eventually I managed to get my finger in far enough to feel the hymen. Being careful not to break it just yet I slid my finger in and out of her. I could feel her getting wetter with every pump of my finger.

"Harry, put it in me now. No more playing around." It was the first words either of us had spoken since we'd started, and it caused me to jump a little as I forgot what the sound of actual words was like. Trying not to appear too eager I pulled off my boxers and helped her slide her underwear off. Now we're laying completely bare for each other. My eyes never left hers though as I used one hand to help guide my dick inside of her. I nearly stopped as she let out a cry of pain and I see tears start to well in her eyes, but as I pull back her hands wrapped around my back and force me to stop. I lean down and kiss her gently as I slide the rest of the way in and break her hymen. The first minute is awkward as we try and find a rhythm. Finally we get in sync with each other and no longer is there discomfort but only pleasure.

Both of us know it isn't going to last long and after the first five minutes or so I can already feel myself getting ready to explode inside of her. By this time she has her hands on the top of my ass forcing me deeper and deeper inside of her with every thrust. After another minute I can't hold it off any longer and I let go and feel myself cum inside of her. I keep thrusting for another few seconds and wrap my arm around her back as I lay down and we embrace. We shared a few more soft kisses before I pulled out of her.

END LEMON

We didn't move very much after we finished. We shifted just enough on the sofa so that we could lay comfortable while we slept. I was spooning her from behind with one arm wrapped protectively over her stomach to prevent her from falling and the other under her head to give it some elevation.

It wasn't long before the two of us drifted off into a sleep and my last thought of the night was that my day had gone from one of the worst of my life to something else entirely.

I had been having a great dream about the activities from the night before when I felt the girl in my arms get up. I kept my eyes closed thinking she was just adjusting herself and would be back in a minute or two. I had no idea what time it was nor did I care so long as I was laying there with her. However I cracked my eyes open the tiniest bit when I heard her footsteps start moving towards the door.

"You're not going to run out without telling me your name are you? That was our deal after all. I wouldn't run out last night and you would tell me your name in the morning."

She froze in place probably not used to being caught in her actions. I felt myself stir a little bit at the mischievous smirk that she was currently giving me. "Maybe you are more Slytherin than I gave you credit for Harry. How long have you been awake?"

I smiled sleepily at her. "I've only been awake since you got up and started moving around. I was waiting hoping you were coming back. However that looks like it isn't going to happen. So now back to the actual matter at hand. What is your name?"

The smirk still firmly in place she said only one word to me as she turned to leave. "Daphne."

I wracked my brain to come up with a last name to match the first but still had nothing. I thought I would ask Hermione at breakfast, but then realized she might ask too many questions. And if she started asking questions then Ron would butt in and freak out over the fact that I had been in the presence of a Slytherin.

I didn't want it to happen, but Daphne's words about my so called friends from the night before fluttered to the front of my mind as I thought about them. Maybe she was right after all and I would be better without them.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts so I could start getting ready for the day. As it was I was still laying completely starkers on the couch and would have to try and locate where Daphne had banished my clothes to.

I searched for a few minutes but finally found them in one of the drawers of the desk in the room. I used my wand to cast a couple of grooming charms I had read about so that I was at least somewhat presentable. I had a dull ache in my head and couldn't wait to get some food in me to help distract me from the throbbing.

It had been about fifteen minutes or so since Daphne had left and I assumed it was safe for me to leave without looking too suspicious. I did a once over to make sure neither of us had forgotten anything. I debated over whether or not to leave the empty bottle of whiskey, but I didn't want someone to find it and be able to use some spell to find out who had been drinking from it. So I cast a quick shrinking charm on it and tucked it back into my robes.

My walk to the great hall wasn't at all eventful, something I was eternally grateful for. When I walked in almost everyone else in the school was there. I noticed the absence of the other delegations immediately. They must have returned to their own schools after what had happened last night. Thinking about the tournament made me feel sick to my stomach, but it didn't reduce me to the crying wreck I had been the night before. It would take a while for me to become completely numb to what had happened, but last night had gone a long way in helping me cope.

I almost turned around and walked out of the hall when all noise and motion stopped. It felt like every pair of eyes was on me, even the professors. I scowled at them and decided to suck it up. It wasn't like I had never been stared or gawked at before. I was sure everyone thought I was a murderer or some type of loon now anyway. Hopefully that would keep them from approaching me too much. I took a seat at the end of Gryffindor table, closer to the doors in case I needed to make a hasty getaway.

Once I sat down and started piling food onto my plate the noise and conversations in the hall began again. Only this time I could hear that I was the new topic of discussion. It was only a few minutes later that Ron and Hermione had decided to get up from their seats at the other end of the table and join me. I said nothing to them when they sat down.

It had been them all year long who had caused a rift between us and just because I had accepted their apologies for being gits at the beginning of the year didn't mean that I was ready to return to the friendship we had once had. The traitorous part of my mind that wanted to take Daphne's advice and dump them seemed to roar to life at the thought of ending all ties of friendship with the two. I squashed it down and waited patiently to see which one of the two would be the first to break the uncomfortable silence that had settled between us.

It was amusing to see them exchange glances with each other as if they were having some silent conversation. They were the only two who couldn't see they were obviously smitten with each other. Once again I felt my mind trying to persuade me. I began to wonder what would happen to me when they eventually did get together. I had the suspicion that Ron was hoping I would wind up with Ginny, but I had no interest in dating the girl. I don't count myself as shallow, but she was only of average looks and magical talent. She could barely hold a conversation with me and it all seemed to be more hero worship than anything.

A clearing of someone's throat snapped me back to reality and away from my thoughts. I looked up to see it was going to be Ron to try and make conversation first.

"Morning mate, where'd you run off to last night? We were in a right state after you just up and disappeared. We were afraid someone might have gone and snatched you up."

So he was going to try and make me feel guilty for wanting some time alone? Fat chance of that happening. This is my life and I don't need to tell someone where I'm going.

"I went to clear my head Ron; there was no way I was going to sleep after what had happened. I found a quiet place to blow off some steam. Sorry you all were worried, but I don't need to tell anyone where I'm going. I can handle myself." I spoke with a little bit of extra heat and venom in my voice to let him know exactly how I was feeling.

Ron's ears turned red and his face scrunched up like he was going to yell at me, but Hermione beat him to it.

"Harry! Why are you speaking to Ron like he did something wrong? You're the one who went and ran off after curfew without telling anyone. You're just lucky that Dumbledore didn't want to do anything to upset you more after what happened."

The little restraint I had on my anger was gone after she ended her sentence. "Did you just say you went to Dumbledore? Can I trust you two with anything anymore? Did it ever cross your minds that maybe I just needed a little space? I watched the most powerful dark lord in the past merlin knows how many years be reborn! Not only did I watch that, but I saw a fellow champion and friend die right in front of me! So sorry if the last thing on my mind was telling someone where I was going, because honestly I didn't even know!"

I was out of my seat and leaning across the table only a few inches from their faces as I finished my rant. Hermione was never one to back down though and she stood up and looked about ready to stab me with the fork in her hands.

"Of course we told Dumbledore! You need to be protected Harry and we were just trying to make sure you were safe! If you can't appreciate that then we don't need to talk until you feel appreciative of our efforts. Come on Ron! Let's go back to the other side of the table."

I watched as the two got up and moved away from me. I was torn between wanting to call out to them and apologize for acting like a prat; but the other part of me knew that I was justified in my anger. She even had the nerve to say I needed to be protected.

Does she really think I can't protect myself?

The thought flitted through the front of my mind and unbidden the answer came.

Yes.

That was what everyone thought. They thought I was helpless and couldn't take care of myself. No one believed I had the ability to do anything. I stabbed violently into my pile of eggs. I looked up and across the hall daring anyone to meet my eyes. I searched the Slytherin table looking for the only person I wanted to see at the moment. Unfortunately she was nowhere to be found. There wasn't anyone that even remotely resembled the girl from the night before at the table. The rational part of me knew that she had probably just skipped breakfast and was resting or packing for the train ride home today. However I also wondered if in my drunk and emotional state I had imagined everything that had happened.

Could my mind actually produce such a real illusion though? The feeling of her lips on mine and the warmness I felt as she held me when I broke down. No, Daphne definitely existed and I was going to find her on the train and thank her for what she had done.

I left the great hall after another five minutes of picking at my food. The argument from earlier had pretty much killed my appetite. I walked up the stairs towards the Gryffindor dorms so that I could finish packing the few belongings I owned.

When I reached the portrait I wasn't surprised to find Neville standing outside of it looking his usual nervous self. He had probably forgotten the password again and was now worried he would miss the train. He brightened up when he saw me coming though.

"Harry! I'm so glad you're here. Do you remember the password? I seem to have forgotten it again." He blushed as he admitted what I already knew.

I rolled my eyes and cuffed him on the back of the head. "Someday you'll learn to memorize the password Neville. Godric's Lions!" As I stated the password the portrait swung open and I gestured for Neville to go first so that he wouldn't get locked out. We walked up to our dorms in a silence, but it wasn't uneasy like the one I had experienced earlier with Ron and Hermione.

Remembering my promise to myself to try and make more friends I decided some small talk to get to know Neville better couldn't hurt.

"So Neville, I know we've been roommates for years, but I don't really know all that much about you. What do you normally do during the summer?"

Neville was caught off guard as I addressed him and looked at me in shock. "I, uh, well during most summers I work in my family greenhouses. I really love Herbology and it's really the only subject I feel confident in. This summer though my time there will be cut short because I will have to start attending classes on how to handle one's self in the Wizengamot."

That caught my interest as I had no idea Neville was interested in the politics of the Wizarding world.

"That's cool, I didn't take you to be the politics type Neville, when did you become interested in it?"

Neville looked at me like I had grown two heads and I instantly knew I had said something wrong. "Harry it's not something I'm interested in, but rather it is an obligation. You'll have to attend some of the classes to actually now that I come to think of it. We're both from Ancient and Noble houses so we're expected to know how to act appropriately and make political allies. Since we're the heirs of our family once we are legally of age we will be expected to take up our seats and participate in votes for new bills and movements. You didn't know about this?"

I shook my head no and felt stupid at not ever questioning whether or not I had responsibilities. I knew my father had been a pureblood so it only made sense that somewhere along the line I would have had to do something. "I had no idea Neville. Who would I talk to about getting to these classes? Normally I stay at my muggle relatives during the summer and they hate all things magical."

Neville seemed to think on his answer before responding. "Well normally it would be your parents or guardian. For me, my Grandmother went ahead and set it up so that I would be going two or three times a week to some classroom at the ministry, but I think you can also do private tutoring at home if it's more convenient. Judging by what you said about your relatives though, I would definitely suggest the classroom. Just tell them that it will get you out of the house for a good part of the summer and I bet they would go for it."

I looked at Neville in a new light as he offered me a way of escape from the Dursleys. This was the most confident I think I had ever seen him in four years. Perhaps if people were to just give the boy a chance instead of always putting him down he would be more comfortable in his studies.

Well I was never going to underestimate him again that was for sure. I almost missed out on a great opportunity to learn more about the world I was now a part of and possibly make a good friend in the process.

"Do you think your Grandmother could get me into the same classes as you? You're right that my relatives would jump at the chance to get rid of me or a while. It would help me out if I had someone in the class that I knew. That way we could also help each other study and stuff in case there are tests."

Neville smiled at me. "I'd like that Harry. Maybe we could even work on our summer homework at some point. I am pretty rubbish with most subjects, but I could definitely help you with Herbology and History. I'll talk to my Grandmother about it today once we get home and owl you a response sometime within the week. Did you know our parents were actually pretty good friends?"

I had no idea that mine and Neville's parents had been friends to be honest. "No I didn't know that at all. Pretty much the only things I know about my parents are they I have my mother's eyes, my dad's hair, and they were friends with Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin."

I watched as Neville shook his head sadly and I began to wonder just how much the boy knew about my family. "Well that won't do at all. I'll send you a copy of the family histories from the library at my Gran's manor when I send her reply. It is a self-updating book that tracks major accomplishments of pureblood families and updates the lineages. Whenever someone is born or dies the book will take note of it. It's how pureblood families keep track of potential marriage contracts and allies. I'm sure you would be able to find some information about your parents and grandparents. I know your mother had her charms mastery so that is for sure going to be in there."

I finished packing as Neville told me about this book and I couldn't help but be excited to finally learn about my family. I didn't think there was any way I'd be able to learn about them but now it was only a week away or so. Perhaps I could even ask Sirius some questions the next time I saw him. I thanked Neville profusely and told him I was done packing and going to start heading to the platform. I mentioned I would save him a seat in my compartment if he wanted to join me, but he politely declined saying he had already agreed to sit with Luna Lovegood from Ravenclaw.

I kept my eyes open the whole time on my walk to the train for any signs of Daphne, but it was still early and my search proved to be fruitless. I opened Hedwig's cage and told her to fly to Sirius so that she wouldn't have to deal with the Dursleys. I figured if I had to send a reply to Neville or anyone else I could just use the owl that the message came with. I got my trunk settled into a compartment in the back of the train and then began to set up some basic privacy charms on the door. I didn't want to be disturbed on my ride back.

I leaned against the window and watched as students began to mill down from the castle. I was searching the groups desperately looking for any sign that Daphne hadn't been from my imagination, but I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew the train was moving. Deciding to get up and look one last time I began to walk from the back of the train to the front. I cast glances into each and every compartment I pass. I'm beginning to feel depressed and resigned to not finding her when I catch sight of the girl stretched out on a bench in the compartment to my left. Sitting across from her is a blonde haired girl and a brown haired boy. All three are Slytherins and I now have the vague memories of seeing them together at classes.

I'm suddenly very nervous as I slide the door to their compartment open. No one says anything as I step in, but I receive a raised eyebrow from the blonde and a half scowl from the only other male in the room.

"Umm hi, sorry to disturb you but I needed to talk to Daphne. Do you think she would mind if I woke her up?" I wasn't dumb. Some girls were down right vicious if you woke them up from their beauty sleep.

It was the blonde girl who responded to me. "Go for it Potter. She was pretty well rested this morning, and now she's just sleeping to pass time. Daphne isn't the social type though so I can't imagine what you could possibly have to talk to her about. Perhaps some scandalous secret love affair?" I was unnerved by how close the girl's teasing came to the actual truth, but did a good job at hiding it.

Gagging noises from the brown haired guy next to her drew our attention. "Please Tracey I'm still digesting my breakfast and I don't need thoughts of Potter defiling our precious Slytherin Ice Queen."

The girl smiled mischievously at him before turning back to me. "Don't mind Blaise here. Like I said go ahead Potter."

I was grateful that they didn't mind me talking to her, but was also slightly curious as to their reactions. I had expected them to be angry at me or resentful. However they seemed to be indifferent to my existence and it was actually a nice change from the normal. I made my way over to Daphne and knelt down so that I wasn't hovering over her. I gently shook her shoulder to wake her up. Hey eyes fluttered open and turned so that our faces were only inches apart and I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I got lost in her stare. Too quickly the moment was over though as Daphne sat up slowly and looked at me. Now that I was actually in front of her and I had confirmed she was real, I didn't know what to do or say. I hadn't really had a plan other than to thank her, but I couldn't do that with her friends here as I didn't know how much they knew.

"Sorry to wake you Daphne, but I was wondering if we could talk for a few minutes."

I wasn't prepared for the next reaction I received. Instead of the warm responses I had received the night before I was now on the end of a cold stare devoid of emotion.

"Potter why the hell would I want to talk to Gryffindor's golden boy? And who gave you permission to use my first name? You may refer to me as Miss Greengrass."

I didn't know how to react or what to say so I did the only logical thing that came to mind. I turned and left the compartment. I didn't run or flee, I simply just left. I walked back to my compartment where I once again applied a locking charm and some other minor privacy charms before laying down and closing my eyes. I hoped to escape the hurt that had built up in my chest at her reaction to seeing me in my dreams. Unfortunately all I did was change one misery for another as the second I fell asleep I found myself once again in the graveyard. I was under the Cruciatus, but this time it wasn't stopping. I could feel the tears leaking from my eyes and I couldn't stop the screams that eventually ripped free from my throat.

I woke up in a panic as I felt two arms slide around me and pull me up. I went for my wand only to have my arms held down to my side.

"Harry calm down! It's just me, it's Daphne. You're fine and in the train compartment on the express."

Her words brought me back and I started to take in my surroundings. I pulled my hand free to wipe at the tears that had leaked out of my eyes. I couldn't believe she kept finding me in these horrible times. It really wasn't a mystery to me anymore why Daphne wanted nothing to do with me, every time she saw me I was reduced to a mess of tears.

"Why are you here Miss Greengrass? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me?"

A sharp stinging in my cheek caused me to turn and face her as I watched her drop her hand back to her side. I reached up and touched the place where she had smacked me. "Don't be fucking stupid Harry. I couldn't very well just greet you like we were best friends or something. For one that would make Tracey and Blaise very suspicious, hell they already are thanks to you wandering in looking for me. But they aren't the main concern. If Malfoy had come by and seen us talking then once he finds out that I'm no longer pure his simple mind would have jumped to conclusions. Even if he is correct this time there is no reason to even let him think that I was with someone outside of Slytherin and make myself and my family even bigger targets."

I hadn't thought about any of that. I had been selfish and only thought of my needs. I forgot how much danger I could have put Daphne in by associating with her. I was a danger to anyone now that Voldemort was back.

"I'm sorry. I was selfish. It won't happen again."

Daphne nodded her head in agreement which caused my heart to sting at the loss of a potential friend. "You're right that it won't happen again. Let's get something clear here Potter. Last night was a onetime thing and not something that will ever be repeated. We did it out of necessity, not because we have feelings for each other. Like I told you, sometimes the benefits outweigh anything else. Do you understand?"

I knew Daphne was right. I didn't have any feelings for her, and I wouldn't be able to have any for anyone else either. It would be way too dangerous for them with Voldemort after me. I nodded and dropped my head to stare at my hands. I barely took notice of her slipping out of the seat and leaving my compartment as I was so lost in my own thoughts. I laid back down again hoping to get some sleep even with the nightmares returning. If I couldn't find some way to keep them down it was going to be one long, lonely, and sleepless summer.