Skulduggery Pleasant FanFic #1

A lone shed, weather-ravaged and slightly crooked, jutted out of the burnt highland scene. The icy wind rattled its cracked single pane window and slid frozen fingers through the numerous imperfections in the wooden walls. Far too many imperfections, thought Valkyrie Cain, and shivered. Her partner and longstanding friend looked over and tilted his head. Skulduggery Pleasant didn't feel the cold due to his convenient skeletal condition. Valkyrie huffed and turned back to the lightly frosted window. With numb fingers, she traced a sun and wished for warmth. No such luck. She returned her eyes to the plains outside.

They were staking out a deserted area in the country, south of Dublin. Well, they had been before, but it didn't exactly work out like that, and between a lot of punching and curses, they had been outnumbered and were forced to retreat. Skulduggery had mumbled something valiant about retaining their pride and advancing in reverse, but the truth was that they were now stranded. No phone to call for backup. No passersby to lend help, not even one damn farmer out in this wasteland. It was just Skulduggery and Valkyrie up against Darren Wield and his followers.

The man called himself a revolutionary, a preacher of sorts. He used brutal tactics but was, unfortunately, an excellent speaker. Wield was of a similar class to Philomena Random and Geoffrey Scrutinous, only he could change the minds of others without magic. And that made him much, much more dangerous. They were unsure of his chosen magical division, making him a risky wildcard in an already unfavorable deck.

Wield worked at convincing the masses that the Sanctuaries oppressed and wronged them. He could convince even the most mild-mannered to lace their blood with explosives and detonate in the midst of a crowd.

Valkyrie didn't like the guy.

"Darren Wield will regret this," muttered Skulduggery.

Valkyrie looked over at him. He was holding his cherished hat between his gloved hands and angrily trying to smooth out its creases.

"He stood on my hat. He stood on it," Skulduggery continued, hands still worrying the brim of the maimed headgear.

Valkyrie's face dropped to an expression of horror.

"See?" he continued, "that is a truly obscene crime-"

"I can't smile! I tried to smile and nothing happened! My face is frozen. And we're sitting in this stupid shack, just waiting for Wield to show up and throw us around the place again, and there are too many holes in this damn hut. And you aren't even giving me your jacket!"

Skulduggery surveyed her calmly, ensuring that her sudden temper had passed. "You're cold?"
"Bloody freezing."
"I don't really want to take off my jacket."
"For me?"
"Valkyrie, you're wearing thermal regulation clothes, the like of which the rest of the world would drop to its knees and grovel for, and you still complain of the cold."
She pouted. "It's just my face and fingers."
"So you want to come put your face inside my jacket?"
"Oh god no, that would be...awkward."
Skulduggery tilted his head, and she knew he was smiling. "Fine, come here."

She scooted over to him where he sat, legs extended and leaning against the wall, and settled next to him. He opened his jacket and she leaned against his bony chest, resting her head on the exquisite silk of his shirt. Skulduggery shifted slightly so they were both comfortable, then closed his jacket around her.

"Compromise. I didn't have to take off the coat, and you get warmth."
Her only reply was to sigh happily. After a few minutes, Valkyrie mumbled sleepily with a smile in her voice. "I love you, Skulduggery."
He paused before answering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valkyrie awoke to Skulduggery's hand on her shoulder, shaking her to alertness.

"They're here," he whispered.
She instantly sprang to action, crouching at the window. Cautiously, she raised her head a few centimeters and caught a glimpse of their surroundings. Burnt heather. Stunted trees. Men and women in black clothes, advancing towards the shack.
She cursed quietly; then turned to look at Skulduggery.

"Only those with nothing to worry about will approach without stealth," he muttered. Valkyrie shot him a glare, then took another peek at the sorcerers striding confidently forwards. She counted quickly, and came up with twenty. Flashing the outstretched fingers of both hands twice at Skulduggery, she set to stretching the cramps from her back and neck. He stopped her with a hand, and dragged her in close to whisper in her ear.

"There's more of them than that, for sure."

The breath that carried his words tickled her ear. She pushed her dark, straight hair behind it and waited. Skulduggery pulled back and looked at her curiously.

"What?" she mouthed.
"Plan?" He mouthed back.

Valkyrie stared at him incredulously.
"You make the plans. Not me. I'm the muscle. You're the brains," she exclaimed, forgetting to whisper.
Skulduggery stood up, pulling her with him. Again, he spoke softly into her ear.
"I think it's time to change it up, don't you?"
She snorted quietly. "Maybe you're right. I need to get an idea about this planning stuff."

She chewed her lip lightly, and gazed into the middle distance for a dramatic ten seconds.

"I've got it. Run like hell, then punch a couple of them in the nose."

Valkyrie felt Skulduggery's shoulders move a little against hers. "What? Do you have anything better?"
His shoulders sagged.
She laughed lightly.
"It's not like we ever have a plan anyways," she smiled.
"We're too good for that," Skulduggery agreed.

Valkyrie suddenly realized how close they were standing. Awkwardly, she tried to back off, but his gloved hand was at her back, holding her close.

"Valkyrie-"
"No. Nothing will happen to us. Nothing ever does. We're just gonna beat them up and then go. End of story."

Skulduggery sighed, but pulled her into a close hug. His hand stroked her hair smoothly. She buried her face in his suited shoulder, breathing in his scent of expensive leather and cologne, fighting back sudden tears.

He broke off the hug, stepped back, and looked at her.

She brushed at her eyes angrily and looked away. Skulduggery held her hand, pressing his thumb lightly into her palm.

The door of the hut shuddered under the force of the knock that confronted its withered wood.

Valkyrie grinned rakishly.

Wield had arrived.