Title is from the song "Get Well" by Icon for Hire, off their 2011 album Scripted. I own neither the song nor Defiance.

We should have known it would end this way

What did you expect, pretend it all away

All we've got left is a sorry pile of hearts

I'm getting out, gonna write myself a new start

C'mon, dry your eyes, meet me on the other side

Run as fast as you can and we'll make it out alive

The first time Nolan lost Irisa in a marketplace, he thought his heart was going to leap through his chest. His panic had proved to him that as much as he would go on about finding her a real Irathient family, he would never find it in him to give the little girl up. She had only been with him three months, if that, and she'd stolen a place for herself inside him that he wasn't even aware still existed.

They had stopped in a busy, largely human town in what used to be Indiana for supplies. His wallet was fat with scrip from trading in his finds from a recent Arkfall, and they needed food and ammunition. Irisa, having grown so much in the few weeks she had been with him from regular meals, also needed clothes that fit her. The red blouse that had hung off her bony frame when he had rescued her was now far too tattered and dirty for him to keep her in it and still feel like a capable guardian.

It was, at least Nolan believed so, Irisa's first time around so many people, so he grasped her little hand in his as they browsed stalls, her green eyes wide with interest and the slightest bit of fear. She didn't seem to notice the glares some of the people were giving the pair, so Nolan pretended that he didn't, either.

A brightly-colored fruit stand caught his eye, and he wanted to see if there was anything worth buying. What he wouldn't do for an Old Earth mango! He spoke to the seller, a large, older woman with kind eyes, still one-handed because of his hold on the little Irath. The woman even smiled at the girl, who looked at the ground, then back at her and returned the gesture shyly.

As he continued to look around, he felt Irisa pull away, and followed her gaze toward a stand that sold small, unrecognizable animals in glass tanks across the street. He grinned at her growing curiosity and leaned closer to her. "You can go look if you like, but stay close," he said. She nodded, her attention still fixated on the stall. Nolan watched her cross the street, then turned back to his shopping. Every so often—more often than was probably necessary, if he was being honest-he'd glance up, just to reassure himself that the flash of orange hair hadn't strayed too far.

It was just a split second. He had checked on her, then looked away and back again and she was gone.

"Irisa?" He called out, tentatively at first, and with growing fear with each passing moment. He had just lost the child he had taken responsibility for in an unfriendly town. "Irisa!"

He began to tear down the street, pushing people out of his way, eyes searching everywhere, and ears open for her voice alone. A million scenarios raced through his head. What if some man had grabbed her? What if she was being taunted by a group of children? What if she was scared and alone, feeling abandoned? How could he ever forgive himself if something happened to her?

The bright colors, cacophonous sounds, and strange smells that permeated the very air of the marketplace clouded his senses and made his tracking even more frustrating. How far could she have possibly gone?! He was about ready to start clearing the whole area of people when he caught a flash of orange in the corner of his eye. "Irisa!"

At the sound of her name, the little girl turned, looking for the source of the voice. The expression on her face was one of confusion and terror, and Nolan remembered the one time he had gotten separated from his mother and wandered, lost, in the mall when he was six. Pushing unceremoniously through the crowd, he dropped to his knees in front of her, seeing the relief flow into her eyes.

"Come here," he said, holding out his arms to her. She stepped forward hesitantly, and he wrapped her up in a hug. She didn't return the gesture, but it was enough for him just to hold her and be sure that she was unhurt.

"I told you to stay close, kiddo," he chided softly, not really feeling any anger or frustration toward her.

"I got lost," Irisa offered as an explanation. Then, even more quietly that he barely heard it over the din, "I'm sorry."

She was still small enough to be easily carried, so he picked her up, unwilling to let her out of his sight even for a moment. "It's nothing to be sorry about. I was just so scared when I couldn't find you."

She leaned her head into the crook of his neck, one of the growing number of affectionate gestures she was beginning to exhibit. Briefly, before he caught himself and banished the thought from his mind, he wondered how her Irathient father had brought himself to torture his daughter; this sweet, guarded little thing that was just starting to trust him. Nolan wasn't a parent, but he couldn't imagine anyone willingly hurting their own child for the sake of some cult beliefs.

Giving her up to an Irath family was going to be hard. But how could he care properly for a little girl? He could barely take care of himself, what with all the running all over the Badlands, picking tech off Arkfalls.

But right now, none of that mattered. He had taken responsibility for her when Eddie had stolen that roller to give them an opportunity to escape the Earth Republic. Right now, she was his kid. And he kind of liked the sound of that.