A/n: Okay, I'll be honest. This is NOT, I repeat NOT, an idea I initially had. But after watching the series(and laughing my ass off) I couldn't help but get thoughts for this. And this is the fruit of those thoughts. So here it is, if you like it, awesome; if you hate it, then fuck off.

Disclaimer: Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt is not mine at all.

Episode 1: Excretion Without Honor and Humanity

"Daten City. A town clinging to the threshold between Heaven and Hell. Where the peace of it's human inhabitants is regularly threatened by foul-tempered evil spirits. A vent of darkness lodged in the cracks of troubled souls who obstruct this town today; unnoticed, silent, deadly. However there are some who wield a light beyond all human understanding! They descend their stools of righteousness to eradicate those shadows bound by the bowels of Hell! But who could've been given the duty of eliminating this darkness? Are they servants of God?! Or minions of the Devil?!"

"Chuck, chuck chuck chuck, chuck chuck!" blabbered the small, green, drooling dog while he jumped around back and forth for no apparent reason other than to do so. He was just enjoying his day as he would normally do as he lived in the church of Daten City. Unfortunately, his day was about to turn, like it normally would, very bad, as a giant cluster of storm clouds gathered above the church. Lightning boomed overhead and a single bolt descended upon him, electrifying him as he let out a cry of of electrified pain. When the lightning stopped, he was a smoking charred dog creature. Then, out of a secret passage of the church, a dark-skinned man with a large afro on his head appeared and bonked the head of the small creature with a hammer, causing him to spit up a small roll of parchment from his mouth. A message from Heaven it was, as it unrolled and on it bore the hint: W.C.

A few minutes later, a loud alarm went off throughout the church, alerting an emergency to it's three sleeping residents. In one of the rooms, a room covered in pink furniture and drapes, a blonde-haired naked man emerged from the pink covers of the room's actual inhabitant and started freaking out at the alarm.

"Shit! What the hell is going on?!" he exclaimed as he began rushing to put his clothes and police uniform back on. His antics, along with the loud alarm, woke the long, blonde-haired young woman he had been sleeping with as she silently arose from her bed.

In another room, this one filled with dark colors and gothic furniture, another young woman with violet and pink hair with a blue bow in her hair groggily awoke to the alarm, only to lay back down moments later as she attempted to ignore the loud sounds going off.

In the last room, a blue room filled with racks and shelves of various dangerous weapons, lay a young man sleeping away under his covers without a care in the world. Not even the loud sounds of the alarm seemed to disturb his sleep as he kept snoring away.

At the same time down in the altar of the church, the dark-skinned man from earlier who wore a light blue robe with, ironically with upside-down crosses; stood waiting along with the green dog, who was still slightly singed from earlier. "Chuck chuck chuck," it said while sucking up a bit of saliva dangling from it's mouth. It bounced around the same as outside until a large pink couch with all four previously mentioned people on it, landed on the dog, squishing him.

"Having a good morning, Panty?" the man asked the blonde haired woman in his deep voice.

"That's your cue to go sweet-cheeks," she yawned to her male cop companion as he sheepishly left the building saying he'll call her. This was Panty, elder of the Anarchy twins.

"And how you feeling this morning, Stocking?"

"Fuck off. Don't talk to me until I've had my god damn sugar," the goth girl replied, taking a bite out of the piece of pie that was in her hands. This was Stocking Anarchy, younger of the twins.

"And what about your morning, Boxer?"

"I'm awake," came the voice of the young brown haired man as he emerged from his covers sleepily but at the same time giving the preacher in front of him a nasty death glare. "And that's enough to make me want to kill you painfully." He was Boxer, eldest of the Anarchy sibling, five years older than his younger twin sisters.

All sat in silence as Panty kept dozing off back into sleep while Stocking ate her sweets and Boxer glared at the dark-skinned man in silence. Finally, the preacher broke the silence, "Heaven has blessed us with a clue that should lead us to another ghost to take out. Listen up!" He reached into his large afro and pulled out the parchment from earlier and showed it to the trio. "Water Closet! That means bathroom!"

All three seemed to ignore him as they slowly drifted back into sleep; with Boxer still slightly glaring, Stocking sucking on her piece of pie, and Panty snoring away. The dog from earlier, showing no signs of harm at all, kept saying, "Chuck chuck chuck chuck" repeatedly even though no one was paying attention to him.

A rope descended in front of the preacher as he pulled it, bringing up a screen for all to view. "We have reports of people being suddenly and inexplicably sucked into their toilets, almost as if the commodes were eating them alive. Taking a massive dump is one of the most vulnerable positions a person can find themselves in," the preacher said as various pictures of what he described appeared on screen, "For someone or something to prey upon that weakness is a vicious and damnable act! Whoa this be the work of a ghost!"

His words were ignored completely however, as the siblings were conversing among themselves. "All I need out of life is to wake up next to some morning wood," Panty said.

"Geez, is there anything hard you refuse jump on?" Boxer asked.

"Oh, stop it with the self-righteous bullshit," Panty replied, "Everyone's got a hobby."

"Yeah that's true, I'll stick with sugar," Stocking said.

"And I'll stick with my naps," Boxer answered.

"Don't you ever crave protein?" Panty asked her sister.

"Don't you ever not?"

"Hey, it's good for you! Ain't that right Garter?" Panty asked the preacher.

"Shut up!" he yelled, "First of all, why the fuck would you think I know the answer to that?!" His words were mostly ignored as Panty cleaned out her ear and Stocking played with the ends of her hair while Boxer laid his head down trying to sleep again. "And secondly," Garterbelt continued, "If you don't want to be stuck here forever, the only option you pathetic excuses for anything resembling Angels have is to buy your way back into Heaven with Heaven Coins you collect exterminating evil ghosts!" He brought out a suitcase and opened it, showing three golden coins with a large H with small wings on them while the other slots remained blank. "Contrary to popular belief you are not here to collect men, sugar, or sleep! So focus and stop acting like fat-ass retards!"

All eyes were glared in irritation as Chuck let out a loud fart up into the faces of the sisters and laughed. They barely noticed as Panty smashed her fist into his head and Stocking picked him up with her foot tossing and beat the small dog among the three siblings until Boxer smacked him towards the screen, in which he splattered upon spraying his brain and blood on the screen as he slid off.

Seconds later, he was just fine as he stood on the podium next to Garter with a small bit of drool hanging from his mouth. "So what're you thinking?" Stocking asked Panty.

"Eh, fuck it. Let's go," she replied.

Moments later, the siblings stood fully dressed and ready to begin their day. Panty wore her usual red short-skirted dress with red heels and gold bracelets while Stocking wore her usual black and white goth dress and holding her cat doll Honekoneko. Boxer wore a black shirt with a skeleton holding two swords in it's hands along with black shorts and shoes and his signature black headphones.

"Hey Stocking, Boxer?" Panty asked.

"Yes, Panty?"

"What's up?"

"You two ready to roll?" she said holding the key to their car.

Turning the key in the ignition, Panty started up the car and sped out of the underground lot where they kept it. As an area of ground lifted up out of the graveyard, the siblings and their pink Hummer, See-Through, sped out onto the highway, knocking away several others cars in the process.

"Yeah!" Panty yelled, "I love how See-Through always gets us where we need to go with some mother-fucking style!" As she tore through Daten City's streets she yelled, "Get it, girl! Get it!", smashing any and all other vehicles at got in her way. Finally after a little bit of driving, Panty yelled, "Bingo!" as she crashed See-Through into a plumber's van, subsequently hitting the plumber talking with the lady of the house.

As he lay in a pained wreck the siblings left their car and approached the plumber.

"Found him!" Panty exclaimed, having "found" their target.

"A toilet and a plumber dude?" Boxer asked staring at the slight carnage in front of him.

"Yeah, that's him!"

"Are you sure?" Stocking asked.

"That's the fucker we're looking for. Isn't that right asshole?!" Panty exclaimed drawing her gun and pointing it at the plumber's head. "Tell me, do you feel lucky punk? Well do ya? Do ya?"

"That might not be him," Stocking said.

Panty ignored this as she pulled back the hammer of the gun and fired three rounds at the guy, which only bounced off his head. " I don't think it's him," she said bluntly.

"Color me shocked," Boxer said sarcastically.

"Please stop hitting me, it really hurts!" the plumber cried out trying to shield himself. "I haven't done anything!"

Panty stared at him for a moment before saying, "Fuck, you're a hot piece of ass..."

The older woman to the side piped up, "You are preaching to the vag, sister!"

Panty drooled a bit as she handed Stocking her underwear saying, "Hang on to these for me."

"Gross."

She then drove off with the plumber in his van, as Boxer and Stocking guessed to a Motel where they knew what would happen next. The two stood in silence for a moment until Boxer said, "Well, she won't be back for a while. Wanna go get something to eat?"

"Sure, as long as there's sugar in it," Stocking replied before getting behind the wheel of See-Through and driving back to the bakery for some food.

Later that night...

The three siblings had reunited at the church and Panty was saying to them, "Well, he's feeling lucky now."

"But he was just a plumber," Boxer pointed out.

"So true, and my pipes are totally clean," Panty said not even noticing the dark look Garter had while he was standing in front of them.

"How long have you been waiting to use that joke?" Stocking asked sarcastically.

"Fuck, it seems like forever. I couldn't not, you know what I mean?"

"WHAT'RE YOU SAYING?! YOU MEAN YOU FAILED?! YOU ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT!" Garter yelled at them in which he was again ignored.

"Chuck, chuck chuck," Chuck said before Garter smashed his fist into his head.

"Oh Lord, grant me the patience! Let's just fucking eat!"

After dinner...

"*Burp!* Shit, was that good!" Panty exclaimed.

"I'll wake up from sleep for a meal like this any day," Boxer said letting out a loud belch that scared the bats out of the bell tower.

"Your curry is unreal, Garter!" Stocking said.

Garter laughed and replied, "That's 'cause it's black, baby! You won't ever go back!"

"So what's up for dessert? I'm guessing chocolate! But for no reason in particular," Stocking said excited for some sweets.

"Well, I don't give a shit," Panty said heading upstairs, "So I'm gonna go take one. I'll be in the can if you need me."

"Don't let the toilet eat you!" Stocking called.

"Oh, screw off!" Panty yelled back.

Stocking began to talk about chocolate from one of the bakeries in town while Boxer listened to his music. After a few minutes the two heard Panty yell, "Stocking! Stocking, help me goddammit! Stocking!"

Stocking grew irritated and yelled back, "Shut up, Panty! No one wants to talk to you while you taking a dump, that's so disgusting! I hope you shit you face off while your shitting your guts out if that makes you feel any better!" She laughed at that last part while Boxer sweatdropped and began to hear what sounded like Panty fighting something. Then a few moments later, everyone heard a loud blast upstairs as well as Panty's yells. This caused all of them to rush up and discover the room outside the bathroom covered in feces as well as Panty herself.

"Okay. I get it now," Panty said with a strangely calm demeanor.

"Okay you get what now?" Garter asked now in a regular black dress shirt and wearing an apron while washing a plate.

"Maybe the what's curry," Stocking suggested. Just then, the horrid and overwhelming stench emanating from the area caused all three of the people to vomit.

"Oh yeah. I get it," Panty said again as her eyes narrowed.

"Well, we don't get it," Stocking said before the three of them threw up again. Afterwards Stocking resumed eating her slice of cake like nothing happened as Garter held a plate of his own vomit.

Outside, the sewers began to back up as spurts of fecal matter began to shoot out of the manholes and into the air. Those spurts then reformed into one area, forming a giant monster of poop.

"What the hell is that thing?!" a civilian asked freaked out.

"It looks like a huge ass scoop of chocolate ice cream!" another cried out.

"Hey, I want some! Yummy!" A little boy said before all succumbed to the smell of the shit pile and threw up all at once. The people were then washed away as the ghost sent a wave of it's feces body at them.

The police came in gigantic swarms as car after car piled into the street. Some even began to knock others away as they piled on each other, heading for the poop ghost. As they arrived on the scene, all cops came out and drew their guns, one yelling, "Freeze, shithead!" while another said, "Don't make any sudden movements!" All the police then proceeded to fire their weapons at the ghost, which only caused small amounts of it's body to fall around them, resulting in another puke fest.

"Shit for doo-doo..." the ghost moaned as it covered the police and their cars in poop.

The captain of the police looked on and exclaimed, "Holy shit! What the fuck are we gonna do?!"

Garter cleared his throat behind the man, now dressed again in his preacher robes. "Er, no offense preacher man," the captain apologized, "But Jesus God what is that?!"

"Unfortunately you be staring into the brown eye of an evil spirit," Garter answered to the shock of the man. "The negative energy created by all the plumbers who suffocated and died from the stench of clogged ass toilets has manifested itself into a vengeful spirit! This powerful ghost utilized all the fecal matter in the city to achieve it's poody poop physical form."

"That's disgusting, "a random cop said.

"Oh god. He's going to spew!" Another said as the captain threw up.

"Ugh, I don't think I can handle anymore bodily functions!" the first cop said sickly.

"Suck it up dude! Not literally I mean- Oh shit! I'm going to hurl again!"

"Don't tell me prayer is the only thing that can get us out of this?!" the police captain exclaimed.

"Why the heck would I tell you that?!" Garter exclaimed loudly, "God ain't even here right now! Prayer can go to hell man, we got Angels! Panty, Stocking, Boxer, you're up!"

"What, do you mean that walking turdscicle over there?" someone said in disbelief referring to Panty, who was still covered in crap.

"And that goth chick who clearly has daddy issues?"

"Not to mention the guy who looks like a freaking stoner."

The trio stopped just a little ways from the ghost as Panty said, "It's time for us to flush the toilet."

"Number 1, that was cheesy; and number 2, you smell like shit," Stocking said back.

"How about I buy you a cake from that fancy bakery and you manage to do this without saying another fucking word?" Panty asked, not wanting any more(pardon the pun) crap out of her sister.

"As long as what I'm saying now doesn't count I'm in," Stocking replied.

"Hey, how about we quit bullshitting and get this bullshit over with alright?" Boxer said, ready to fight. "You two ready to rock?"

"Yeah!" They both replied.

(*P&S soundtrack "Fly Away"*)

As a halo formed on each of the siblings heads as it came down around them, transforming their clothes into their Heaven garments. For Panty, she wore a pure white sleeveless top that cut off at the bottom her ribs exposing her stomach and wearing a white frilly short skirt with red hearts. Stocking was similar, except her's was all one piece and the hearts on her's were blue. Boxer's clothes had become a pure white as his his shorts became white pants while he stood at a DJ table while Panty and Stocking stood by their dancing poles as translucent blue wings and halos formed on each of them.

"O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness," they said in unison, removing the garments ascertaining to their names, "O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power of the garments from these holy warriors strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurities and returning you from whence you came!"

Their garments began to glow and change shape as the three yelled together, "Repent, you mother fucker!" Panty's panties transformed into a pistol, firing it at the head of the ghost, cutting clean thought it. A moment later, a large hole exploded where the bullet hit as Stocking transformed her Stockings into a katana and slashed cutting the air and the ghost. Finally, Boxer's boxers transformed into a large bazooka and the shot it fired left a gigantic gaping hole in the middle of the beast. "This blows!" It said before exploding.

Everyone stared in awe for a moment before leaping up in celebration at the Angels' victory. The three of them stood posed for a moment with their weapons pointed out as a golden coin flew down between and gave a shine.

Garter picked it up and said, "Good, Angels. You got a coin."

"All that for just one? What a rip-off," Boxer said.

"Yeah, but one more, so quit your bitching," Garter countered. Then the bell f the church began to ring loudly as it's sounds reached throughout the city. "When evil has been vanquished," Garter explained, "So rings the bell. At least I'm assuming that's why it's ringing." The bell continued to ring for a few more minutes as everyone calmed down from the events.

Panty cracked her neck as Stocking demanded that she keep her promise and buy her that cake. "I need sweets stat!" she said.

"Yeah, yeah. Look I found a tasty little treat for me too!" Panty replied pulling along another cop for her to have fun with later.

"Well, you two do whatever, I'm going back to bed. I've been up long enough as is," Boxer said sleepily.

"You three still have a punishment to face," Garter said interrupting them.

"Ooh, like what? Bondage?" Stocking asked excitedly.

"What would I get out of that?"

"Uh, yeah. I have plans so you can leave me the hell alone," Panty said as they all walked towards the church.

Boxer stopped for a moment and turned around, seeing all the feces still left in the streets. After a moment, a huge pile of it crushed a house and covered another guy in it. He smirked and thought to himself, 'Well, it ain't my problem.' With that, he ran to catch up with his little sisters, and more importantly get back to bed.

End note: So, apparently I'm more motivated to write this than I am to write any of my other stuff... Is that bad? Oh well, this chapter was pretty much the same as the first episode but I promise as time goes on stuff will be different. Until then, just bear with me and review, favorite and follow. Ciao!