Hi guys! This is my second fanfiction, after my first one, NOT AN AVERAGE HIGH SCHOOL YEAR. You can check it out.

Remember two things. THIS IS AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSSSSE! and, THIS IS HUMORRRR!

Get it? This is SPARTAAA?! No? Okay... *hangs head*

All the Akatsuki are alive.

Plus, I know they're super deathly and all that, but the death of Naruto Uzumaki wouldn't make this all that funny. :( Sorry if it sounds super ridiculous...

Enjoy!

"Leader-sama. May we come in?"

"Enter."

All nine of the Akatsuki filed into Pein's office, hanging their heads.

"Well? How did it go?" He asked, looking up from his desk.

Itachi spoke up first, looking emotionless as always.

"The Kyuubi got away."

"...What?" Pein almost whispered.

"It got away. We tried to use our best ninjutsu, but they clashed. We ended up attacking each other..."

"WHAT?!" He repeated, standing up from his seat. "The nine-tails almost willingly WALKS INTO OUR MIDST, and you let it GET AWAY?!"

The Akatsuki were silent.

"I can't believe this! Nine S-rank criminals couldn't take down a 12-year-old boy?!"

"He possesses extraordinary powers." Konan jumped in.

"Aw, Konan! Lying is bad! Tobi thinks you should tell the truth! Kyuubi only had one jutsu, RASENGAN! And it didn't even work right! First, Hidan starts off trying to take blood from the boy, but scratches Kakuzu instead! He stabbed Kakuzu in the leg before he knew what was going on! Then, Kakuzu tries to stop Hidan from more stabbing, but his stictches intercepted Deidara-sempai's spidery bombs! Then... They exploded. Deidara-sempai said he was almost out of clay, so he made another bomb with the last of it, and chucked it at the Kyuubi. But he threw it too hard! And it exploded all over Sasori-sempai's third Kazekage puppet! He couldn't attack for a while, and Itachi tried to place a powerful genjutsu... But Tobi was in the way... Eheheh...But Kisame tried a shark bomb! Except... Konan was running in front of him, and it drenched her! Since she was wet, she couldn't turn into paper or fly very well! Since everyone had already wasted their chakra on their best attacks, or was too dazed to fight, the Kyuubi ran away!"

Pein twitched with anger. He had THOUGHT that he had the most powerful ninja in all the land, but they let a little boy get away?!

"Wow, Tobi, that sums it all up, hmm... BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY ALL THAT IN FRONT OF LEADER, hmm?!"

"Aah! Don't yell at Tobi! Hidan started it!"

"No, it was Kakuzu that got in the f*cking way! Dipshit, this is all your fault!"

"EXCUSE me?! You're the one who took my blood on accident! I couldn't move my leg OR my stitches because of you and Deidara!"

"Don't blame me, hmm! That's what happens when you touch my bombs!"

''Too bad your aim is so terrible, you didn't even graze the Kyuubi." Sasori said bitterly.

"It was an accident, my man! Sorry, just forget it!"

"FORGET IT?! You better be grateful that your sorry-ass bombs didn't explode Hiruko, or I'd kill you!"

"HA! As if! My art is stronger than yours, hmm!"

"Guys... We shouldn't be fighti-" Itachi was cut off.

"Stay out of this, Itachi! You can't understand TRUE ART, hmm!"

"Fine, suit yourself."

"I can't believe that you cast a genjutsu on TOBI! Your aim is worse than Deidara's!" Kisame elbowed Itachi with a laugh.

Itachi stood quietly, not saying a word.

"I know! Except that genjutsu was not very fun for Tobi! Good thing Tobi knows how to release chakra because Tobi's A GOOD BOY!"

"I didn't even do anything." Zetsu said.

"Yeah, because you're kinda worthless!" Kisame yelled.

A vein bulged in Zetsu's forehead. "You hit Konan with your dumb shark bomb!"

''It's not dumb! It did some serious damage!"

"To the wrong person, IDIOT!"

"That's it. I'll show you how powerful my Shark Bomb really is!" Kisame made a few hand signs, and a flying blue shark appeared out of nowhere, charging towards Zetsu.

Zetsu sank into the ground, barely missing the bomb. But it kept on swimming through the air, and hit Hidan all the way across the room.

"DAMMIT, KISAME! JASHIN WILL GET SUSHI TONIGHT!" Hidan whipped his scythe out from behind his back.

"My leg is still injured... but I can move most of my stitches... Hidan! Stop your useless whining!" A forest of stitches shot out from Kakuzu's back, and wiggled around like snakes.

The stitches grabbed Hidan's scythe from him. "WHAT THE F*CK, KAKUZU?! GIVE IT BACK!"

Kakuzu was swinging it around, trying to keep it away from Hidan, when it hit Konan in the face.

"You're going to pay for that," She growled.

She instantly grew wings made of scraps of paper, and flew up into the air, rapidly firing paper projectiles at everyone below her.

"KONAN! That's not funny, HMM!" He quickly molded a tiny spider bomb, and threw it at Konan. She barely dodged it, and the bomb fell straight at Sasori's feet.

"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!" He raged, pulling a large puppet out of nowhere.

The puppet lunged forward, and started battering Deidara in a flurry of arms and legs.

"AAH! NO, Sempai!" Tobi leapt at the puppet and tried to fend it off.

"I need to stop them..." Itachi's eye bled as he activated his Mangekyo Sharingan.

The Akatsuki was a mess. They were all attacking each other so wildly. Chunks of wall and ceiling flew everywhere, and the air was filled with yelling and screaming.

"ENOUGH!" Pein boomed. "ALMIGHTY PUSH!"

The blast forced the fighting people to fly backwards and crash into the wall behind them.

Pein was breathing heavily as he said, "Akatsuki! Our main goal cannot be reached if we are fighting among ourselves rather than the enemy! Look at you! You're beating up your teammates, here! We need to help our teamwork, otherwise we will NEVER be able to catch all the jinchuuriki!"

"But, leader-sama, there is nothing wrong with our tea-"

Tobi was cut off by the loud crash of breaking wood. Pein had just smashed his desk in half.

"F*cking anger management problems..." Hidan muttered.

"L-Leader-sama!" Deidara said as he pointed.

There was a giant hole where the desk should have been. Pein peered inside, seeing that there was a glowing figure down there.

"Akatsuki." He jumped into the hole, with the other ninja wordlessly following him.

The 10 ninjas stared in awe at the thing before them. It was a large standing mirror, edged in silver.

"What?" Kisame said as he cocked his head.

"That's funny. I can't see my reflection in it, hmm."

"You're right." Pein narrowed his eyes as he stared at the mirror.

This is not an ordinary mirror, that's for sure. But what if it's just a chunk of glass? No, you would still be able to see your reflection in it. And why is it so meticulously created? Someone definitely took the time to carve little symbols around the silver edges... I need to make sure that this is safe.

"Release your chakra."

The Akatsuki clapped their hands together and released their chakra, but nothing happened.

"That means this is not genjutsu." Itachi said.

"Yes... Tobi."

Tobi perked up. "Yes, Leader-sama?"

"Touch it."

"Eh...?"

"TOUCH IT."

"Okay."

He stepped forward, moving in front of Pein. With no hesitation, he poked the surface of the mirror.

His gloved finger slid right through, and didn't appear out the other side.

"Ooh...That feels tingly... Tobi likes..."

The ninjas could hear Konan gasp quietly. "I-it's... A portal?"

"I've never seen anything like this... Is this a jutsu?"

"It could be worth a lot. We should SELL IT!"

"Kakuzu, you miserable miser, can't you stop thinking about your damn money for one f*cking second?!"

"SILENCE." Pein started to think.

If this portal leads to an alternate dimension... We will HAVE to work together to survive. No, what if we die going through this? I'm ready to try anything... This is the fifth time the Kyuubi has gotten away!

"Alright. We are going to enter this 'portal', because you all KNOW that we need to work on our teamwork. If teamwork is our only chance of survival in wherever the portal takes us, so be it. Our organization will never achieve its full potential if we are constantly fighting."

"The great leader, making a f*cking speech... Hypocrite, he doesn't even f*cking help us." Hidan muttered to himself.

"That's because I'd rather keep all my blood, Hidan." Pein said, obviously he had heard.

He backed up, and paused. Then, Pein charged at the mirror, and disappeared into it with a poof.

"Gah... Do we really have to do this...?" Hidan grumbled.

"Leader's orders, dumbass." Kakuzu retorted.

One by one, the Akatsuki members entered the portal.

"I don't really want to go in there." Konan said, frowning.

"Come on. I bet Pein and the others are waiting." Itachi said.

"But...Huff. Fine. Might as well get this over with.''

Itachi nodded as Konan ran straight into the mirror.

She immediately bolted out the other side. Still charging, she knocked Pein over in a crash of arms and legs.

Konan squirmed, trying to get off of Pein, when she brushed something feathery. Was that his hair? No, his head was way above her. What was she touching?

"WE'RE ALL F*CKING PONIES!"

Hidan's ear-splitting yell snapped Konan out of her little daze.

The girl flew off him in a flash, and looked back at her leader.

He was indeed, a PONY.

"Leader-sama! You ARE a pony!"

"So are you."

Pein had pale white fur and a short, messy mane the color of orange sorbet. He still had his distinct ringed lavender eyes, except they were wide and almost sparkled. Black piercings still stuck out of the sides of his nose, or muzzle, and at the tips of his now pointy ears. On his left flank, the area above his back leg, there was an Amegakure symbol with a slash through it, similar to the symbol on his forehead protector. Long, angel-like wings sprouted from his back, and a horn stuck out of his forehead.

Konan had similar wings and the same white horn, except her mane was a royal blue. It had her signature paper flower stuck in it. She had large, twinkling amber eyes and striking eyelashes. The symbol on her flank was a white rose, like the one on her mane. Konan's tail was long, and flowed like water.

This is kind of heavy, She thought.

Looking at her other teammates, she could see they had transformed as well.

Itachi's fur was black as night, but his mane still had that hard sheen to it. A black horn poked out from his forehead, but he had no wings. Eyes still blood-red with three commas in them, and mane still tied into a long ponytail, he was easily recognizable. His flank symbol was a Sharingan.

Zetsu, standing right next to Itachi, was a unicorn as well. He still had a white and black side, plus his green Venus-Flytrap like extensions at his neck. Even as a pony, Zetsu's teeth stayed frighteningly sharp. An intricate little plant was the symbol on his flank.

Kakuzu looked quite scary. His legs were covered in slashes and stitches, and his fur was a dark, murky mocha. The black mask he normally wore was stil on his lower face, but his mane hung around him in a limp black mess with a horn protruding out from was a green dollar sign on his flank.

Kisame still had his creepy eyes and gills. He was a light blue unicorn with a cropped cobalt mane and tail. Samehada, his giant sword, still rested on his back. Kisame's flank symbol was a shark.

Deidara had a long blonde mane, with a little hank of hair covering his eye. A yellow horn poked out of his hair to match his fur color. If he lifted his hooves, you could still see two mouths on them. A little C-3 bomb symbol was on his flank.

Sasori was a little smaller than the other members of the Akatsuki. He had the same wild red hair and soft, almost lazy brown eyes. He was also a light mocha color, and so was his horn. His little flank mark was the head of his puppet Hiruko.

Tobi, a black unicorn, still had his signature swirly orange mask over his face. You could only see his short little tail and scruffy mane. The symbol on his flank was a little picture of his mask.

Lastly, Hidan was a pale white unicorn with a slicked-back white mane and a long tail. His eyes were still a violent shade of magenta, and a Jashin chain hung from his neck. The marking on his flank was the symbol of Jashin, a circle with a triangle inside of it.

"We all look really f*cked up."

Pein sighed. "Come on, we need to move. I am not allowing any of you to go back into the portal."

With much grumbling, the Akatsuki ponies followed their leader in silence.

"Wow, Leader-sama! Tobi really likes your wings! Tobi wishes he had some too!"

He was ignored.

Soon, the 10 ponies came across a little town.

There were two ponies decked out in gold and silver armor standing at the front entryway, probably guarding.

As soon as Pein walked up to them, they bent their front legs in a humble bow.

That's odd... Eh. I can get used to it.

Pein walked past the guards, emotionless, Konan and the rest of the Akatsuki trailing behind.

"Wow!''

"They don't look familiar..."

"That red-eyed stallion is cute!"

"Jeez, did you see the piercings on that Alicorn?"

The town was buzzing with whispers as the pony-ninjas strutted through the town.

"Pein..."

"Hm, Konan?"

"Why are they looking at us like that?"

"You should be used to it by now. People look at us like that all time."

"No... They don't seem to be scared of us..."

Pein looked at all the chattering ponies around him. They were smiling! Normally, people would be shaking in fear by now!

Pein was lost in thought until a shrill voice cut his thoughts in half.

"OOH! ROYALTY FROM ANOTHER PART OF EQUESTRIA! YAY, TIME FOR A PARTY!"

Yay.

I hope the part where I describe them isn't too boring. But I wanted to paint a good picture.

That's it for now! Review if you want!

More is yet to come