The universe is in a loop. When we reach the end, we return to the beginning. Welcome to Night Vale.

*Intro music plays.*

Hello listeners. I'm sure you all have noticed the strange blue box that appeared overnight outside of the Arbys. The box seems to be normal with a sign labeled "Police Box" on the front. Now I don't know about you, listeners, but this just seems ridiculous to me. Everybody knows that the sheriff's secret police do not come from boxes. When asked to comment on the situation, the Secret Police just nodded and reminded everyone that the box does not exist. You do not exist. We are all nothing. They then simultaneously lay on the floor and turned translucent. More on that story, yesterday.

Mayor Pamela Winchell has called yet another press conference today. She then stared at the audience for a full 9 minutes before screaming "We are not who say we are. We are lying to ourselves. We are lying to everybody. We are worthless. WORTHLESS." She then proceeded to grow a strange metallic eyestalk and plunger and shoot the reporters.

And now: Traffic.

Several accidents have occurred on the route 831.43 today due to a highway patrol being run over and killed after he shouted "YOU IGNORANT FOOLS. WHY DO YOU STILL INSIST THAT CARS ARE REAL? CARS ARE IMAGINARY. GET A-"

Accidents have been expected until about 2:00, when the body will no longer have existed and will not be blocking the roads anymore.

An update on the mysterious blue box. We sent Intern Maria to investigate what was inside, and she has not reported back since. We suspect that a black hole had consumed her and her soul when she opened the doors. Intern Maria has now set the record for the shortest intern to work at Night Vale community radio, and we hope that her legacy will still live on.

And now a work from our sponsor: Vortex.

That was a word from our sponsor.

We have just been informed that two bodies have emerged out of the blue box. One has been described as a tall man with ridiculous hair and a bow tie that looks suspiciously like the one I am wearing right now and thousand years' old eyes that can stare into your soul. The second one has been described as a girl.

The man began screaming nonsense about time travel, which has luckily been made legal again and something about coincidences and fezzes.

This update has been very helpful. Thank you Ste-

Oh no. Steve Carlsberg. Steve Carlsberg sent in the update. I have just complimented Steve. Carlsberg. I have to go now. I have to go. Please. I'm sorry. Just…just…here's the weather.

*The Doctor Is Dying by Chameleon Circuit*

Welcome back, listeners. I just came from the bathroom where I wiped my mouth with soap for the majority of the segment. I hope you can forgive me for the terrible mistake I made.

The strange man and woman that…Steve Carlsberg…reported earlier have travelled back into the strange box and disappeared as quickly as they came.

We may never know who they were or why they came or why his blue box was labeled so inaccurately.

But we may never know a lot of things. Why the clouds can float. Why beautiful flawless Carlos shaved his perfect hair. Why Steve Carlsberg has to exist. Why there is a giant spider crawling into your ear. We will constantly be surrounded by questions we may never know the answer to. Or answers that we may never have questions about. But what we do know is that it is time to say goodnight. Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.