I don't own of the following characters of PLL just the story. This is a "what if" AU nothing to do with A or anything just a humor fic please enjoy and let me know what you think…
Chapter 1
"Did this bitch just call me a… ho-? asked Emily as she was cutoff by the girl
"Did I stutter….ho?"
"Oh hell no you did not just Kayne West me bitch….."said Emily
"What you gonna do about it" said Shana as she continued to taunt Emily
"I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass that's what I'm gonna do…."said Emily as she prepared to get into her fighting stance
"You show her Em's….go all….right, left, right kick, uh son uh son….that jacket is tight man you know what I mean…on her ass" yelled Hanna as she looked towards the girl
"Like I said ho you better lay off on my girl" said Shana
"Your girl…bitch please….Paige is my girl"
"Bitch I threw my pie for her" said Shana as she started to get into her fighting stance
"Bitch you didn't throw your pie for her….you tripped and landed on your ass….your pie just ended up on the floor" said Hanna as she looked at the two girls ready to fight
Emily dodged Shana's punch and quickly kicked her in the stomach an-
"Shut up Hanna" said Emily as she cut off her friends rant of how a fight of her and Shana would occur.
"I'm serious guys that's how I see the fight will end up happening" said Hanna
"First of all Hanna we aren't in prison and two Emily doesn't talk like that…..also can you stop quoting Scary Movie 2 and Orange is the New Black" said Spencer as she looked towards the blonde
"Oh and how would you picture it oh great one" asked the blonde girl
"First of all only because Shana said to meet her at three doesn't mean she wants to fight Emily…..and if there was a fight I figure it be like this"
"Good day madam-" said Emily before being cut off with smack on her face
"I challenge you to a dual" said Shana as she smacked Emily with her glove again
"Why madam why would you do such a thing"
"Because I want to be the one that earns Paige McCullers heart"
"But her heart already belongs to me-…"
"HOLD UP time out….that is sooooooooo not going to happen" said Hanna as she interrupted Spencer
"Oh yeah why not" asked Spencer
"Because that's so stupid and old..."
"Oh and saying I threw my pie for you….sounds so realistic"
"Well duh…pie is a symbol of love" said Hanna
"Says who"
"Crazy Eyes" said the blonde
"Will you guys stop bickering" said Aria as she cut off the two girls "We are here to support Emily and you guys are making it sound that she is going to have to fight…..besides if there was going to be a fight it would be like this…."
"Guys stop….don't fight….embrace mother earth…-"
"Hold up Mother Theresa ….no one is going to be embracing mother earth" said Hanna
"That is very very true" said Spencer as she looked at Aria
"Fine I guess you guys are right…besides-"said the dark hair girl as she was cut off by another voice
"Emily….don't do it" yelled Paige as she ran towards the girls
"Do what Paige" asked Emily
"Don't get into a fight with Shana over me it's not worth it"
"Paige all I got was a text from Shana to meet her here at three….there is no fight….besides if I did have to fight for you it be so worth it….." said Emily as she grabbed Paige's hand and pulled her into a kiss.
"Uh hello we are still here you know" said Hanna
"Sorry didn't mean to get carried away…" said Paige as she pulled back from her girlfriend
"So Paige how did you find out about the meeting" asked Spencer
"Oh well I was in the hallway when someone said that Emily was going to fight Shana today at 3pm"
As the girls heard Paige's answer they all quickly looked at Hanna. "What I only told Mona…guess Mona was the one that ranted me out….she should soooooo be put in the hole for this…"said Hanna
"5 more minutes" said Emily as she checked her watch
"Well Shana better show up cause I'm starving" said the blonde as she looked towards her friends
"So you guys know for sure that she wants to fight Emily" asked Paige
"No we don't know" answered Spencer
"Hey…Paige if there was going to be a fight between Shana and Emily how would you picture it…"asked Hanna
"Well—"
Emily couldn't help but look at her girlfriend to hear her version of her fighting Shana
"Emily be careful she some sort of evil fae…." yelled Paige as she watched her girlfriend fight against Shana
"Don't worry I got it covered" yelled Emily over her shoulder
Emily quickly dodged and grabbed Shana by the throat and slammed her against the wall…she quickly leaned in and sucked the chi out of the girl.
"There…" said Emily as she defeated the evil fae
Paige quickly ran towards the girl to see if she was alright….before she could open her mouth Emily captured her lips kissing her passionately—
"Okay Lost Girl much…" said Hanna
"Hey that's a good show" said Spencer
"Yeah it is" agreed Aria
"Oh so you guys see it too" asked Paige
"Yeah me and Spencer watch it at her house" said Aria as blushed at the thought of watching naughty scenes of the show with Spencer
Paige couldn't help but smile "Yeah Emily and I love watching that show too together"
Emily quickly looked away trying to hide her red face from the group of girls; if only they knew what really happened when they watch the Doccubus love scenes.
Before the girls could say anything else they were interrupted by the sound of the door opening.
"Surprised you actually showed up" said Shana as she approached the group of girls
"What do you want Shana" asked Emily
"Oh I came here to give you this…..it's actually Paige's jump drive….figured I give it to you since Paige avoids me like a plague" said Shana
"Well I'm here" said Paige
"I can see that…..but when I approached you in the hallway you ran the other way…"
"Uh I didn't runaway I just had—"said Paige as she was cut off
"Enough just give me the damn jump drive" said Emily as she extended her hand out
"There you go…..see you around ladies….oh and Paige you looked so good today…..good enough to eat I might say…."said Shana as she gave Emily the jump drive and started to walk away
"Wow Hannibal Lector much" said Hanna as she watched Shana walk back into the building
"Yeah that explains why Paige tends to avoid her like a plague" said Aria
"I guess that was it" said Spencer
"That was kind of lame—"said Hanna as she was cut off by the sound of door being slammed
"Uh guys where is Emily" asked Paige
"Oh crap" said the girls at the same time as they heard a scream coming from inside the building. When they arrived at the scene they found Emily Fields beating the crap out of Shana in the middle of an empty hallway…
"Bitch who do think you are saying you wanna taste my woman….bitch I am going to go Chuck Norris on your Hannibal ass…..get your corny ass out of here…." said Emily as she was kicking Shana's butt
"Wow guess Hanna was right" said Spencer as she watched Emily beat the crap out of Shana.
"Remind me never to mess with Paige" said Aria
Paige couldn't help but drool watching her girlfriend fight for her honor. "We are so going to reenact a Doccubus sex scene when we get home" she thought as she kept looking at her girl kick Shana's butt.
I know random and stupid but I hope you guys enjoyed it….let me know what you all think