.-.-.-.-.
Fishsticks
.-.-.-.-.

Castiel glared spitefully at the large glasses of wine and spiked water that sat before him. He had taken a sip from the water glass upon sitting, only to find it had a healthy dose of clean vodka added to it. He shifted his gaze to Michael and kept eye contact as he chugged the water before grabbing the wine and repeating the action.

Michael had the decency to look ashamed. He pushed his own water across the table to Castiel and shrugged. 'We wanted to soften the blow,' he said, glancing at Adam and Dean.

The pair of mermen were happily chittering back and forth over a large bowl of shrimp, making a game of tossing them into each other's mouths.

'I noticed,' Castiel growled. 'My favorite champagne? Gabriel did the same. Coincidentally, when I got fired.' He stabbed his fork into his salmon. 'I suppose you didn't have time to switch the water back?' He pointed his fork at the carafe that had been used to fill his glass, not caring that his salmon dropped to the table. 'Maybe you were hoping I wouldn't notice?'

Lucifer spoke up as he refilled Castiel's glass with more spiked water. 'We had time. I just want you more relaxed. But this looks more like one of your belligerent drunk episodes, so maybe I should put you on nonalcoholic for the rest of lunch?'

'You're trying to use me like you use Crowley! Of course I'm gonna be upset!'

'So he did say something,' Michael muttered with a frown.

'He walked in on… Look, he found out about Dean and had the decency to tell me about what he does for you two,' Castiel replied. He grabbed the wine glass sitting in front of Dean, but Dean gently pulled it back and kissed his cheek.

'You've had enough,' Dean said, pressing his own water glass into Castiel's hand. He smiled as he moved Castiel's spiked water out of reach. 'Sober up, and I'll make it worth it.'

'Lemme keep my buzz, and I'll make it better,' Castiel countered with the barest hint of a slur.

Dean sighed and moved the glasses even farther from Castiel's grasp. 'Having experienced both, I'll stick with sober and angry,' he said with a wide grin. 'You get kinda demanding and mean, but not mean-mean, uh…snippy! It's kinda hot.'

Castiel blushed and did his best to find somewhere to look where he wouldn't find knowingly grinning faces.

'Good to know married life hasn't calmed our Cas down,' Michael said teasingly. 'We were worried about you for a while.'

'Worried?' Castiel narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He caught Lucifer's somber nod. 'About my sex life,' he said flatly.

Michael chuckled and shook his head. 'Not quite,' he replied. 'After your falling out with Balthazar, you took up that dull cataloging job, and you stopped going out as much.'

Lucifer poured himself a glass from the spiked carafe. 'You stopped coming to parties. Granted, you showed up less often leading up to the breakup, but at least you showed up for New Year's and the occasional birthday. Now, it's nothing. Not even a reply to say "no." That's depression, Cas, not cleaning up and going straight.'

Castiel scoffed, leaning back and crossing his arms.

'You're our favorite, Cas,' Lucifer added. 'So of course we worry. And on the plus side, as a signing bonus for your new contract, you get all your boring research from that dead end job. If you actually want it. Control, at the very least. That, I must insist on.'

Castiel stared in shock. 'My… Wait, how?'

'Who do you think was funding the program?' Michael said with a smirk. 'Naomi wasn't too pleased when she found out all the particulars of the contract she signed. Funding follows you.'

The room was silent aside from the quiet munching of shrimp.

'The grant we got. The new cataloging program…' Castiel flattened his hands on the table and closed his eyes as he took a steadying breath. 'The Shurley Conservation and Preservation Charity Grant.'

'Popsicle does like his animals and charity cases,' Lucifer said with a charming smile.

'How did I not… God! Just leave me alone!' Castiel screamed as he shot up, knocking over his chair. He tripped over the legs as he made to leave and quickly picked himself back up, shouting obscenities as he stormed out the room.

'That went well,' Lucifer said, sipping on his drink. His gaze drifted over to Dean and waved for him to sit back down. 'He'll be fine.'

'Like I'm gonna believe you,' Dean growled as he went to the door.

Michael sighed as he stood and followed Dean. 'I'll help you with damage control,' he said, throwing Lucifer a withering glare. 'Again.'

'Go get 'em, tiger!' Lucifer cackled.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean stalked through the hallways, sparing a glance up and down each intersection. There was no sign of Castiel. No sign of any of the rooms he had been in, actually. He realized he was completely lost as he stopped and stared helplessly at the ceiling. 'I give up,' he told his silent companion.

Michael leaned against the wall, thankful for the break. 'He'll be fine. I promise. He's more upset about not catching on sooner.'

Dean sighed heavily and met Michael's gaze. He wondered just how much he could divulge. Between Michael and Lucifer, Michael seemed to be the more trustworthy, but he still didn't think he could trust him. Not after Castiel's clear and pointed warnings. 'He's had a bad couple weeks,' he said, hoping his voice didn't betray just how worried he was.

'Yeah,' Michael replied with a small, huffing laugh. 'You guys broke him good.' He shook his head at Dean's wide and guilty eyes. 'Finding out about merfolk might've broken him this time around, but it's not your fault. It's been a long time coming,' he explained.

'Don't really believe you 'bout that. Gabe said the last time was 'cuz of a suicide? Seems like big, shocking discoveries are what do it.'

'In a way,' Michael admitted. 'There's no real pattern to what breaks the camel's back, as it were. He seems like he deals well with stress, but he locks it all up to avoid it. Bora Bora was a perfect storm situation that followed an ongoing hurricane named Naomi. Finding a grey hair would have broken him.'

Dean blinked and coughed, looking away. 'That uh… That's what broke him outta that weird research phase, actually.'

Michael stared for a moment before breaking out in laughter.

Dean frowned as he eyed one of the corridors, contemplating escape. He could make a run for it, but then he'd be just as lost and without any semblance of a guide. 'You guys have a funny way of showing you care,' he grumbled.

Michael wiped his eyes and tried to control his mirth. 'We think of him as a little brother,' he explained.

Dean narrowed his eyes. 'What kind of brother we talkin' 'bout here?'

Michael coughed awkwardly and looked away. 'So he told you?'

'Enough to know you two think you're being kinky when you're actually not.'

Michael deflated a little. 'It started as a joke, and it just stuck. The reactions we get from people who don't know are great,' he admitted with a shrug. 'For a while, it helped to be so-called brothers if one of us was in the hospital, so it's not like it was all just mischief. But you needn't worry about our special brand of brotherly love tainting your mate.'

'Not anymore, at least,' Dean said with a wide grin, throwing Michael off balance. He winked knowingly. 'Cas told me about how he tried it once, and he's just not that into the whole dom/sub scene like you two. Chains? Cages? You guys are weird.'

Michael sputtered, blushing brightly as Dean started off down one of the corridors with renewed vigor. 'Did he tell you how he's a shitty dirty talker?!' he shouted defensively as he set off after Dean. 'He can kill the mood with one word!'

'Ever think he was doing it on purpose?'

.-.-.-.-.

It wasn't until nightfall when Dean finally found Castiel hiding out in their room. Castiel had Muffin in his lap and a notebook resting atop Muffin.

Dean leaned against the doorjamb, letting out a sharp, displeased whistle.

Castiel grunted as Muffin leapt off his lap and sauntered over to Dean. 'I didn't mean to ditch you,' he mumbled as he picked up his notebook.

Dean knelt down to absently pet the cat as he watched Castiel. 'They've got a weird…thing for you, don't they? Weirder than what you were talking about, I mean.'

Castiel huffed loudly. 'They're… I don't know. They have a weird way of showing affection, and I never really thought about it until after I left college,' he explained. 'I ran with an odd group of people. I was used to them knowing me… Predicting my moods. Didn't know it until after I left and joined other social circles.'

'And then what? Just tried to fit in?' Dean asked. He scoffed as Castiel nodded. 'Babe, sounds like your college friends were better than your newer friends. Even if they have a weird way of showing it, at least they care about you and didn't make you scared to be you. Just look at Crowley. He's an ass, but he likes you.'

'He likes what I can offer him,' Castiel bitterly replied. 'And that apparently includes me half naked on his next documentary.'

Dean raised a brow and shook his head. He scooped up Muffin and sat next to Castiel on the bed. 'C'mon. Cheer up. This went better than we were expecting!'

Castiel sighed and finally looked at Dean. He gave a small smile. 'You're right. This could've gone so much worse. I'm just mad at myself for not suspecting something sooner.' He leaned heavily against Dean and welcomed Muffin back onto his lap. 'I should have suspected something when I was working under Naomi and got that damned grant.'

'But…at least you got to screw her over in the end, right?' Dean said with a grin. 'Don't know about this research crap, but at least it's yours, right? Whatever that's worth.'

Castiel laughed softly and nodded. 'Yeah. She liked to take over projects once funding was secured, so this was a nice surprise. The old me would send her sympathy flowers.'

'So do it,' Dean said lowly and kissed Castiel's jaw.

'I think you're misunderstanding. My sympathy is real. She does good work. She just can't write a grant proposal worth shit, and it was my project and I do good work, too. But sending any sort of sympathy card or flowers would be seen as an insult,' Castiel explained. 'I learned that after college. When I sent a card to a fellow intern who wasn't kept on.'

'Didn't go over that well, huh?'

'He sent back a "Sorry you found a dead body and freaked out and pity's the only reason they're keeping you" card.'

Dean stared at Castiel in silence, unsure of how to respond. 'Huh.'

Castiel shrugged. 'I mentioned it to Crowley, and he got me on as a researcher for a small documentary. That's where I ended up meeting Balthazar, so it wasn't too bad. Until he dumped me for thinking I cheated on him. With Crowley. Which kind of goes to show you how well he didn't know me.'

'Which reminds me. Did you ever get that video back?'

Castiel blinked slowly and groaned, pressing his face into Dean's shoulder. 'Fuuuck.'

.-.-.-.-.

Elsewhere, halfway across the globe in the swankiest Rococo-themed hotel suite Gabriel had ever had the displeasure of seeing in a magazine…

Gabriel had his head between his knees, taking deep breaths. 'This is a death sentence,' he whined lowly as Sam rubbed his back.

'Seriously? You're complaining about finally having nice digs?' Balthazar asked as he helped Anna sort through the sound equipment. 'Just no pleasing some people.'

'You'd know all about that,' Anna said with a smirk. She squawked as a mic cover was lobbed at her head.

'C'mon! You guys gotta be suspicious, too. We were fine at the creepy hotel! Fine enough, I mean. Right, so I won't be going back there to sleep anytime soon, but still,' Gabriel said as he straightened. He waved his arms around, indicating the room. 'I hate to say it, but this is too good for us! Awesome view? Communal area? Multiple rooms? Multiple bathrooms?! A room service budget?!' His voice went higher and more frantic as he ranted. 'Someone is dead or dying and— Oh, god! They killed Cas!'

Samandriel cleared his throat and shook his phone in front of Gabriel's face. 'Actually… Adam put in a good word for us. Wanted m—us to uh…stay somewhere really nice and relaxing after I sent photos of the hotel we were filming in. He's the one that picked out the room.'

'Did you promise that weirdo asshole a blowjob or something?' Anna asked, not bothering to mask her annoyance at Samandriel's ability to handle the odd artist. 'How does that guy even know what strings to pull?'

Samandriel ducked his head as he felt his face flush. 'He's close friends with the producers.'

Gabriel narrowed his eyes and stalked up to Samandriel. After all the dirt Castiel had been willing to give up on Michael and Lucifer, his eyes had been opened to a whole other seedy underground he had been happier not knowing about. 'How close are we talki—' He broke off with a gasp when he caught Samandriel's blush. 'My baby gopher has a crush, and his crush is giving him gaudy-ass gifts!'

Sam tilted his head slightly, giving the room another look. Upon entering the suite, he had been blown away by all the golden cherubs and accents that adorned every surface and corner. Was it possible that this Adam character was the same mermaid Castiel was being wrangled in to play doctor for? He managed to put on a teasing smile and moved to stand by Gabriel. 'He's gotta be cute if he's got you blushing that hard!'

Gabriel, oblivious to Sam's intentions, but ever willing to jump on the teasing bandwagon. 'Yeah! Show him the headshot! You're gonna love this,' he said, lightly elbowing Sam. 'Total fucking twink. Like, dictionary definition.' He looked up in time to see Sam's confused smile and promised himself to help corrupt Sam's vocabulary even more than he already had.

Samandriel sighed in resignation as he pulled up Adam's picture, refusing to make eye contact and doing his best to ignore Anna and Balthazar suffering in the background.

Sam blinked in disbelief. Before he could say anything potentially incriminating, Charlie banged into the suite, carrying a lumpy bag.

'I've got glitter bomb bath bombs and dibs on the master suite bathroom, bitches! Do not disturb until I come out!' she declared.

'Glitter—' Sam was cut of by a scathing hiss that promised death. He quickly looked down and slowly backed away, earning a triumphant nod from Charlie.

'You better clean that shit up!' Gabriel called after her.