Pairings:

Kakashi x Fem!Naruto

Warnings: Character deaths.

Summary:

Naruto found sanctuary in the presence of ill repute women. Kakashi found salvation in the presence of an ill repute young woman. In the least expected place, two damaged souls meet for a future neither expected. Kakashi/Fem!Naruto

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or any of the characters.

Author's Note:

I am SO SORRY for taking so long to update. Real world can be a complete time stealer and imagination corrupter. It took me ages and a lot of rewrites to get to this point and I'm not sure if this is perfect. However, if I keep trying to improve this, I will never post this chapter so! Here is the next chapter with my deepest and humblest apologies for the late update.

Thank you all so much for your reviews and PMs. The support was wonderful and really boosted me to keep writing this when I wanted to give up. I hope this is up to standards.

I really hope you enjoy this chapter.

'Dialogue' - Thoughts

"Dialogue" – Present situation

"Dialogue" – Flashbacks

Destiny's Game

Sacrificial Pawns

Previously in 'Take My Queen'

"Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama, if I could have some time with you in private? I have something important to discuss."

The duo shared a look before Tsunade activated the privacy seals. Jiraiya straightened as well, looking ready to tackle any news Kakashi was about to give them.

"Talk, brat."

"I am in love with Nagisa."

Any news but that!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nagisa stared at the waterfall before her. She turned to see both Yamato and Kakashi looking at her calmly though Kakashi had a wicked glint in his eye.

Just a couple of days ago, she had irritated Kakashi by upping Naruto's energetic persona and naivety. Kakashi had come over to tell her of her latest training regime. Although Nagisa was interested in learning nature manipulation, she had been leery of training alone with Kakashi. The silver haired ninja had neglected to inform her of Yamato's presence during the training sessions. It was something that even Nagisa missed in her nervousness of training with Kakashi. She should have known that advance training would require Yamato's presence to control Kyuubi's chakra from overwhelming her.

When she had arrived at the training ground and found both her trainers, Nagisa had been so openly relieved though only one of her trainers knew the real reason. She had noticed Kakashi's eye narrowing before he had launched into his explanation of basic nature manipulation. He had made it as dry as he could, with a lazy drawl. In retaliation to him pulling a fast one on her, Nagisa had acted really really dense forcing Kakashi to oversimplify his explanation. He had finally made her nervous when he asked for one of her clones to follow one of his in order to understand the information transfer that was unique to the kage bushin no jutsu. Since she had acted like a complete idiot, she could not reject his hands on method of teaching her. At least, she couldn't object without Yamato finding it suspicious.

Clone-Kakashi and Clone-Nagisa had gone into the forest and was hidden from the original duo by the thick greenery. Although Clone-Nagisa had been as apprehensive as the original, she said nothing as she followed her sensei into the denser part of the forest. Once he was satisfied with the distance and privacy the two had, Clone-Kakashi had turned and studied her intensely. As much as she wanted to fidget, Clone-Nagisa had managed to control any outward tick. That was, until Clone-Kakashi walked towards her deliberately, forcing the female clone to back up until her back hit a tree. Forced to stop, Clone-Nagisa tried not to tense when Clone-Kakashi crowded her personal space. She almost dispelled herself when he leaned closer, his masked mouth stopping just by her ear. Her breath hitched at his proximity but she stilled herself from making a move to ensure she did not accidentally brush up against his body.

"Nagisa, I know you are being deliberately being difficult. Cut it out. This training is important."

He pulled back a little to look at her eyes. The blue orbs that he had been so hypnotized by looked dazed by their closeness. He intentionally pressed closer and whispered so softly that Clone-Nagisa almost missed his words.

"Dispel."

Nagisa had almost frowned when the memory returned to her. When Kakashi had asked what his clone had told hers, she had to actively fight down a blush she knew was going to stain her cheeks. Instead, she decided to go with a lie that even Yamato would not suspect.

Kakashi now owed her ramen at Ichiraku's. For some odd reason, that only made the man smirk but Nagisa forced herself not to think about it. Just for that though, she decided to be a bit more difficult.

Still, it was an important training session and Nagisa knew she needed more tips than what Kakashi had been able to provide her. She had gone to meet with Sarutobi Asuma, the team leader of Team 10 and asked for his advice. The tips he had given her definitely helped and she managed to complete the first step successfully.

Now though, she was facing the second step to learning nature manipulation. She had to split a waterfall using only wind chakra. It was a fascinating chakra exercise and Nagisa was itching to get started. However, there was one tiny problem.

She had to undress to do this step.

Oh, it would have been fine to go through the exercise in her jumpsuit. Unfortunately, the blasted thing would have weighed heavily with water forcing her to ditch them after a while anyways. The distraction of the weighted suit will upset her focus. Plus it was impractical whether she was a girl or boy.

The good news: She had suitable clothes underneath.

The bad news: She would be stripping in front of Kakashi and Yamato.

The tolerable news: Yamato would finally realize her true gender.

The horrible news: She would be drenched in front of Kakashi.

By no means did she think that Kakashi was so depraved that he would make a move in front of Yamato. Instead, she just felt uncomfortable without the relative safety of her jumpsuit ever since she knew his feelings for her or rather for Ruka.

She stubbornly refused to examine her own feelings for him.

Nagisa knew she had no choice. Her only hope was for Sakura and Sai to remain oblivious towards her current training as she could keep her own secret a little longer. She did not want Sakura questioning her especially since she would prod around Nagisa's past. She was not keen on Sai knowing as she was not completely sure about Sai's loyalties. She knew Sai was reporting to someone else and whoever it was, Nagisa did not want to remind them about her gender. For her safety at these turbulent times, it was best to keep her secret tightly locked up. She knew Kakashi would protect her as she trusted him

Sighing, she nodded – much to the surprise of Kakashi who had expected more trouble from her – and she walked over to one of the trees to undress. She vaguely registered chocked sounds from behind her, which she stoutly ignored as she stripped off her top and folded the thick material carefully. The black T-shirt she was wearing underneath was not overly large but was still a little loose on her. The T-shirt though did not hide the curve of her breasts. Nagisa reached underneath her shirt to loosen the bind around her chest, increasing the size of her breasts as she lightly released the restricting material. Considering the exercise would take days to complete, she did not relish the idea of being tightly bound the whole time. Feeling much more comfortable, she slipped out of her sandals and pants. Folding the thick material, she adjusted the short black tights she always wore underneath. The black elastic material hugged her butt and thighs, stopping high on her thighs. The T-shirt fell covering the shorts entirely. Only when she moved did one even notice she was wearing shorts. Nagisa tightened her bandanna and blew out slowly. Stripping before men was not something she had done before so she was a little nervous. However, her clothes were decent and as such she did not feel overly self-conscious.

The darkly dressed teenager turned around to see the two men staring at her for different reasons.

Kakashi had been shocked that Nagisa would change so casually before both of them. He had expected her to put up a bit of fuss but he should have known that Nagisa would never do what he expected her to. Though her clothes were definitely decent, Kakashi could not look away from them. The dark colored clothes made her slender form look positively tiny. She was quite a sweet sight and Kakashi felt extremely jealous that Yamato could also see her like this.

Yamato though was shocked for an entirely different reason. A small part of his mind did register the beauty of the teen before him however a larger part of his mind was screaming at him.

HE'S A GIRL! HE'S A GIRL! OMG! HE'S A FREAKING GIRL!

How could he have missed this?

"It's not like I advertised that I am a girl, Yamato-taichou." Yamato heard causing his to pay attention to the two amused people before him. Oh, he had said that out loud! Yamato blushed at his unexpected mistake.

"You knew?" Yamato asked his senpai in irritation.

Kakashi shrugged, knowing that his nonchalance would annoy his kouhai even more. True to his prediction, Yamato looked positively murderous.

"Why didn't you tell me, Kakashi-senpai?"

"Eh, I thought you noticed. I noticed," Kakashi replied simply, purposely neglecting to inform that he only noticed when he caught the scent of her menses.

"It's alright, Yamato-taichou. Not many people know I am a girl. Let's keep it that way, okay?" Nagisa asked cutely, her wide blue eyes pleading to Yamato. Baby blues looked up at his dark eyes, the orbs filled with just a hint of tears.

The Mokuton user definitely did not know how to say no to those eyes and found himself nodding mechanically. Kakashi expertly contained a snort though he was definitely amused by his kouhai's shock.

"Great!" Nagisa continued enthusiastically before bouncing off to the waterfall.

She had an exercise to complete.

XXX

Kakashi could have sworn that he had been thrown head first into hell. That has to be the only explanation for his current suffering.

Right before his eyes was a row of Nagisa clones with the original hidden among them. All of them were soaked to the bone. The dark T-shirts clung to the lithe bodies. Kakashi's eyes kept following the rivulets of water drops as they travelled along the slim bodies. His sharingan eye was conveniently left open with the excuse that he wanted to keep an eye on Nagisa's chakra. Yamato truly did not suspect anything as he concentrated on Nagisa's progress.

It was actually a pretty good progress on Nagisa's end. She had put all her focus on this exercise. She did not acknowledge the two shinobi watching her as she concentrated to sharpening her wind chakra to the point it could cut the waterfall. Every few hours though she dispelled her clones and took a breather as she sorted through her memories. Once she was ready, she made another batch of clones and continued cutting the waterfall, improving a little every time. Considering this step would take years to master, Nagisa was actually coming along quite quickly.

There was a tendril of pride in Kakashi's heart as he watched his ex-student work hard at the new exercise. He had known she was a genius in her own way but watching her astounding progress without the distraction of keeping an eye on Sasuke and Sakura was another experience entirely. It was truly a shame that he had not been able to train her properly before due to the council. Jiraiya got that honor instead. However, at least he had the chance now and Kakashi was more than willing to take full advantage of his situation both personally and professionally.

Watching her now brought memories of the fateful meeting Kakashi had with Nagisa's two overprotective guardians.

"Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama, if I could have some time with you in private? I have something important to discuss."

The duo shared a look before Tsunade activated the privacy seals.

Jiraiya straightened as well, looking ready to tackle any news Kakashi was about to give them.

"Talk, brat."

"I am in love with Nagisa."

Any news but that!

The older duo simply stared at Kakashi uncomprehendingly. They shared a look before studying the tall man before them.

For a moment everything was tense before Jiraiya let out an amused chuckle and shook his head.

"You almost got me there, Kakashi. I could have sworn you said you were in love with my brat," Jiraiya said, laughter in his voice though Kakashi's eye was sharp enough to catch the lack of amusement in Jiraiya's eyes.

Cautiously, Kakashi nodded. Barely a blink of an eye later, he ducked to avoid getting hit by the paperweight Tsunade threw at him. Cursing, the blonde Hokage slammed her hand on the table in irritation. The poor piece of wood groaned miserably under the harsh treatment.

"Please, for the sake of my sanity, at least tell me this is not something that you felt when she was in your team as a genin, Kakashi," Tsunade said warningly, more than ready to rearrange a few organs in the copy nin's body if he had taken advantage of his position as Nagisa's teacher.

Kakashi blanched. While many would call him a pervert, a paedophile he was not. Even if he had known Nagisa and Ruka were one and the same when Nagisa was still under his command, he would never pursue her romantically. Forget Tsunade and Jiraiya, Kakashi was sure Kushina-nee and Minato-sensei would defy the laws of the universe and come back from the dead just to castrate him. He was also sure it would be a slow and agonizing process. The pair had always been a terrifying couple when it came to business.

"No, Tsunade-sama. This is a very new progress but the situation itself is complex."

"Talk brat and make sure you give me a really good reason not to liquefy your insides."

Kakashi took a deep breath for some much needed air.

"This is a long story but I can promise you that I have not dishonoured her in any way."

Feeling lost, the older pair motioned for Kakashi to get on with it. If Kakashi had not done anything yet then that means he had approached them first. They would give him the benefit of the doubt and hear him out.

At least until he proved otherwise.

Kakashi had no idea where to start but he knew if he wanted them to understand why he felt so strongly for Nagisa, he had to start from the very beginning. So with great reluctance, he briefly shared with them his short-term platonic relationship with Ruka. From Jiraiya's face, he knew the sannin was torn between feeling amusement that Kakashi had – by all means – a platonic relationship with a whore while feeling grateful that Kakashi had not forced a sexual relationship with Ruka. They all knew the uniqueness of Nagisa's henge. As long as she was in henge, Nagisa's normal chakra signature could not be detected. As such, neither sannin could blame him for failing to recognize Nagisa especially since Kakashi had no contact with Nagisa since the child turned three.

"We exchanged letters from the time I was assigned to Team 7 until the Chunin Exams. Then, she stopped writing. I never suspected that it was Nagisa especially since she wrote the final letter before the exams. It's just recently that I realized the truth behind our acquaintance. There were so many things that Nagisa did that reminded me of Ruka. Once I saw her with her hair down though, the similarities were too numerous to deny and so I confronted her. Actually, I came here straight after confirming my theory that she was Ruka.

I know that right now might not be the right time to pursue a relationship with her. However, by the time it takes me to convince her to give us a chance, hopefully the drums of war will be long over. I hope that when that time comes, I will have both your blessings. I know you both are very important to her and vice versa."

It was short and absent of any private moments between the two but the sannin knew that since this was Kakashi they were talking about, he had taken the relationship very seriously. Tsunade could feel a headache sneaking up on her while Jiraiya was also in agony.

While they wanted to reject any relationship beyond platonic between Kakashi and Nagisa, both the Sannin also realized that this was the first time Kakashi had ever paid attention to a woman. Besides that, as Nagisa had kept her secret, the only man she had interacted with positively was Kakashi. With both their histories looming over the older pair, they knew they had to be careful with how they approached this subject. Moreover, the council will be pleased that the Hatake line would not fade away if Kakashi pursued a relationship with Nagisa. As Nagisa's value as a ninja had gained a more positive support within the council, there will not be much opposition. However, as two people who love and care for the young woman, Tsunade and Jiraiya wondered if they could support Kakashi wholeheartedly. He wasn't the most well-adjusted shinobi around and had a worrisome tendency of living in the past. This did not even cover their age gap, while not novel in the ninja world, was dangerous due to the life expectancy of a ninja.

"Kakashi, did you tell Nagisa you are interested in pursuing a relationship with her?" Jiraiya asked seriously.

Kakashi nodded. "She is under the impression that this is fleeting. I have time to convince her otherwise."

Tsunade shook her head. "Are you sure about this though? The woman you fell in love with is Ruka. Despite Nagisa being her, it doesn't mean she is her, do you understand?"

The silver haired nin sighed. "Why do you both keep pointing that out? You make it sound as if I am using Nagisa to gain Ruka."

Tsunade crossed her fingers before her face and rested her elbows on her table, leaning forward a little. Her whole countenance spoke of how serious she was taking this matter.

"Kakashi, by your own word, you admitted that you fell for Ruka, no don't, don't interrupt me," Tsunade said sternly when she saw Kakashi open his open. "While I know that Nagisa created the character of Ruka and part of her own personality was used in the creation that does not mean you can handle the whole woman named Uzumaki Nagisa."

"You are worried that I will take advantage or pressure her," Kakashi replied harshly. "Even I am not that heartless, Tsunade-sama."

"You have to understand, Kakashi. This has nothing to do with whether you are heartless or not, this is about whether you know exactly who you are in love with," Jiraiya answered backing his teammate wholly in this matter.

"Of course I…" Kakashi paused, stricken. Did he really know who he was in love with? He had not even thought of Nagisa romantically until he suspected she was Ruka. What does that mean for his feelings for her?

Both the sannin sighed.

"Having trouble figuring that out?" Tsunade asked easily. She knew that despite Kakashi's desire to court Nagisa, he really had no idea what he was getting into. This was a completely unchartered territory for the last Hatake.

"Will you at least give me your blessings to figure this out? Either way, I have no intention of letting her go."

Truth be told, the older duo would have been more than happy to dispose of the younger man and bury his body six feet under, in ashes. No chance using Edo Tensei then. However, they also knew that all other options considered, Kakashi was a pretty good prospect for Nagisa. Since he was trained by Minato, they knew he would never hurt Nagisa if only out of respect for Minato. They both also knew him since he was a boy and – minus his terrible reading habit that only Tsunade had problems with – knew his moral compass as an adult. By his own mouth, he admitted that nothing untoward had happened when Nagisa was still his student.

Compared to others such as the Kazekage (no way was she letting her brat move to Suna), Hyuuga prodigy (no way was Jiraiya agreeing to letting the Hyuuga get their hands on Nagisa) and gods forbid, Uchiha brat (they would both chain her down in a multiple-sealed room) that Nagisa had been fighting to bring back, Kakashi was in a league of his own. Well, there was the Nara brat but the sannin were sure he was more interested in the Kazekage's sister. Nagisa barely interacted with Shino and Kiba much. She also rarely interacted closely with other shinobi enough to form an intimate bond. They would be happy to approve of Kakashi except for the fact that they both see Nagisa as their own and the idea of letting anyone getting close to her…

Sharing a final look, they turned to face Kakashi once more.

"Very well, Kakashi. We both give you our blessings under the condition you don't rush into this and don't push Nagisa into accepting the relationship. As long as both of you take your time to ensure this is what you want, we don't have a problem with it. Much," Tsunade started.

Before Kakashi could even nod though, Jiraiya punched him hard causing him to fall back onto his knees, breathing harshly. Before he could catch his breath, Jiraiya pulled him up roughly.

"If you ever do anything she does not want or is ready for, I will break every bone in your body before torturing you nicely and slowly. I can assure you, with Tsunade-hime as my teammate, I know just how long I keep you at the brink of sanity and drag you between life and death. Hurt her, and death will only be a merciful idea. Do you understand, Hatake?" Jiraiya whispered darkly, his killing intent focused sharply on the man before him.

Kakashi nodded. He was surprised that both of them had only let him go with a warning. He had been prepared for a worse encounter. He was not surprised that both were sceptical of his feelings for Nagisa. It sounded like quite a story even to his ears.

"Since you are serious about this Kakashi, let me give you one piece of advice. In your efforts to court Nagisa, take time to learn about Nagisa without Ruka coloring your perception," Tsunade finally said reluctantly. Jiraiya nodded his head thoughtfully beside her.

Kakashi nodded his head. "Thank you. I feel better with you both knowing."

"Now that we have taken care of that, let us discuss Nagisa's training. Kakashi, Yamato will be partnered with you in training Nagisa."

The silver haired nin straightened, a flash of anger in his eye. "Tsunade-sama, I can assure you that I can keep my personal and professional life separately. Assigning Yamato to watch over us both…"

"Calm yourself. I am not assigning Yamato to watch over you two. Yamato is there for his capability to repress Kyuubi's chakra. I want you to start with Nagisa's nature manipulation. Once she has completed that stage, let's see if Nagisa can complete her father's rasengan."

Abashed, Kakashi nodded. "Sorry, Tsunade-sama."

"If you start feeling sensitive to everything, people are going to figure things out long before you both are ready to tackle your feelings. You are a fantastic shinobi, Kakashi, do start acting like one."

Kakashi resisted the urge to shrug. He wanted to remain in Tsunade's and Jiraiya's good graces after all.

"You can leave, Kakashi. Once the break is over, both you and Yamato can jump start Nagisa's training."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

Kakashi was pleased that he had Tsunade and Jiraiya's blessings to pursue this matter with Nagisa. Every part of him was unwilling to leave Nagisa alone. She had always been his in one way or another. The idea of another man knowing her with or surpassing the intimacy they shared so far brought out a fury from deep inside Kakashi.

For now though, he would do anything too forward that would cause her to run away from him. She was skittish enough as it is and they had more serious problems to deal with. Kakashi frowned at the thoughts of Akatsuki, Orochimaru and Sasuke. They were all very serious threats and Kakashi truly hoped Naruto would be able to complete this training successfully and surpass him, her father and Jiraiya.

Looking at the tiredly grinning woman before him, Kakashi had faith that Nagisa will blow away every expectation he had of her.

XXX

The calm skies gave way to a stormy night.

Kakashi stood before the old door in front of him uncertainly. It has been so long since he purposely seek out company after a really bad day. Asuma's death completely blindsided him. He had not expected to hear the sombre news while he was training Nagisa though with Akatsuki's threat in the horizon, he should not have been surprised.

While Asuma and Kakashi were not very close growing up, they had gotten closer during their tenure as genin instructors. Asuma was also one of the few who knew about Ruka just as Kakashi knew about Kurenai. Losing Asuma just a handful of years after losing Gekko Hayate, another close friend, was very painful. Kakashi wondered if Nagisa would allow him to take solace in her presence. He wondered if he should. Their relationship beyond student and instructor was still so uncertain and he really did not want to chase her away.

The silver haired man felt like an idiot as he stood motionless outside Nagisa's home, the rain effectively keeping him from public sight. His hand rose uncertainly before he sighed soundlessly and moved to lean against the door instead. Just as he took a step forward, the door wrenched open and a familiar blond haired blue eyed woman looked blankly at him.

The duo stared at each other, neither moving to say anything for a long while before Nagisa took a step back and opened the door wider in invitation. Kakashi's eyes widened before he nodded in thanks and entered her home. Nagisa said nothing as she handed over a dry towel to him before nodding towards the bathroom. Kakashi watched as she left to the kitchen before walking to the bathroom for a much needed hot shower.

The shower and the clean yukata Nagisa laid out helped to put a bit more life in Kakashi's otherwise dead eyes. He walked out into the small space, his hitaiate in his grip, his wet hair limp on his head and his eyes seeking out the room's only other occupant.

Nagisa looked up from her position against the window. She motioned to the bed that was still neatly made. Kakashi said nothing as he sat on the bed and automatically took the mug that Nagisa handed over to him. The hot tea warmed his still cool hands and Kakashi found himself relaxing minutely as the warmth seeped into his body. Nagisa said nothing as she took another dry towel and proceeded to dry Kakashi's hair ignoring the initial stillness of his body.

Neither said a word.

The silence was welcoming rather than stifling. Despite the large elephant in the room in regards to their relationship, Nagisa knew when Kakashi needed comfort and a very large part – but a part she resolutely ignored – was happy that Kakashi had come to her for comfort instead of locking everything up inside himself or going to someone else.

Nagisa had felt Kakashi's presence at her door. With Asuma's sudden death, Kakashi would have been brooding. She had been so uncertain if she should check on him. His presence at her doorstep alleviated that worry. Still, she had a choice. If or when he knocked, would she open the door?

"Won't you at least give us the chance to find out if we are meant to be?"

Nagisa shook her head, her body trembling at his closeness.

"Why are you so adamant to not give us a chance? Is it my age? Is it our positions? Is it just me? Why won't you at least give us a chance? Won't you even tell me why?" Kakashi had pressed, his hands curled tightly at his sides. How could he court a woman, who won't even give him the chance? How could he pursue a woman, who chilled at the sight of him when before this entire debacle, her entire being was filled with warmth? The rejection stung and for a man, who never approached a woman romantically – and was honestly quite lost if he was doing the right thing – the pain was sharp.

If only there was a sign that she saw him even briefly as more than a teacher, a guide…

If only she gave a sign of hope…

Nagisa shook her head again, her silence never louder.

"You don't even want to give me an explanation. If you can't even tell me why you don't want to pursue this, how can I decide if I should let this – us – go, Nagisa?"

She had turned away from the plea she could see in his eye but not hear in his voice.

How could she tell him?

It was this part of her that had been so hesitant. Opening that door would be symbolically opening herself to him, more aware now. The other part of her had been welcoming. He reminded her of the Kakashi, who would seek Ruka out after a hard mission or simply for some much needed comfort. Her worry overweighed her hesitation and Nagisa had opened the door to him.

She was only doing this because he was her comrade and superior, she thought furiously. She wasn't doing this because of any romantic feelings she had for him.

Any argument she had though was banished at the sight of him. Kakashi always had a hunched, bored look. Now, he just looked so tired that Nagisa's heart cried out for the man she had come to care for over the years. Instead of babying him though, Nagisa simply opened her door wider as an invitation, which Kakashi took.

She wordlessly directed him to the bath while she prepared a hot drink. Taking care of the robotic man before her was a familiar habit that she fell into seamlessly. Her body moved before she could even think of her actions but the way Kakashi's body relaxed under her ministrations threw her worries away.

The now was more important.

It has been years since the two of them had been in this intimate situation. However, neither of them felt overly awkward. Like a well-established but long forgotten rhythm, Nagisa put away the tea and towel while Kakashi slipped into the bed. Nagisa only hesitated for a moment before slipping under the covers and curling up against Kakashi. The two of them had ended up in this position all the time during the course of the year they were together.

Kakashi buried his head against Nagisa's golden strands, breathing in the familiar scent of the woman he had come to love. Nagisa simple tightened her hold on Kakashi. Asuma's death had hit her hard although she had not known Asuma well beyond him being the Sandaime's son and the team ten's sensei. He had helped her out with her wind affinity just days before his death and she knew how close Shikamaru, Ino and Choji were with Asuma. If the same thing had happened to Kakashi…

Nagisa couldn't bear the thought.

"You know they will go after the Akatsuki members who killed Asuma-sensei, right?" Nagisa murmured against Kakashi's chest.

Kakashi hmmed knowingly.

"They might even go despite or regardless of Tsunade-nee's orders," Nagisa continued, not letting Kakashi's silence stop her train of thought.

She wondered what she and Sakura would do if anything happened to Kakashi. After all these years, the loss of Sasuke had not stopped the girls in their pursuit to drag him back, kicking and screaming if need be. If their own pursuit was this relentless, she doubted the remaining members of team ten will be any less relentless.

"I still have Yamato-taichou and you have already given me a pretty good hint. If they go out by themselves, they might get hurt regardless of any plan they can come up with. When they finally leave, if they don't have anyone else going with them, would you?" Nagisa asked despite her fear that Kakashi might not come back from this mission of revenge.

"Are you sure you will be alright with me leaving? You have yet to complete the rasengan, Nagisa," Kakashi rebutted softly, unwilling to leave Nagisa even under Tenzo's watchful eyes. Tenzo had just warmed up to Nagisa as a ninja on top of finding out she was a beautiful woman as well. Besides, he always seemed to leave Nagisa's ninja development to other shinobi and it was truly aggravating.

"I'll be fine. If you can keep them from doing anything too reckless, I'll complete the rasengan and follow right behind you guys," Nagisa replied assuredly.

"Hmm, you are quite confident, aren't you?" Kakashi answered back with a smile.

"Believe it!" Nagisa replied with a laugh and Kakashi huffed in amusement.

"As long as you promise."

"I promise I'll be right behind you the moment I complete the rasengan successfully."

Kakashi held the slight figure tightly.

"What can I do to prove to you that I am serious about us?"

"There is nothing you can do," Nagisa answered swiftly. He could see how desperate she was for him to drop the topic but Kakashi had always been stubborn.

"What will you do if I refuse to leave this alone? What will you do if I want to court you?"

She looked at him, her eyes wide and lost.

Yet there was something there in her eyes and he wondered if she knew.

There was a terrifying sort of desperation in her eyes.

"Can't you leave this matter alone? I…We…are not made for each other."

"I am incredibly stubborn."

"Then, there is nothing I can do, is there?"

'Liar,' Kakashi thought, with slight humor. 'You still manage to avoid being alone with me for any extended time outside of training, sly little vixen.'

"I'll hold you to it."

XXX

Tsunade sighed as she stood by Jiraiya, Konoha's forces spread around them while Suna's forces were geared up opposite them. Her decision to send Kakashi to his death to stop Hiruko weighed heavily on her mind. She was not the type of woman who believed in sacrificing her people but Kakashi had been adamant that he was sent away and all ties cut from Konoha. He was willing to die to bring Hiruko down with him due to the puppet curse Hiruko placed on him years ago. Kakashi was more than aware of how he could be used to hurt all those he cared for especially Nagisa. By trapping Hiruko in another dimension using kamui, Kakashi could at least keep one more dangerous opponent away from Nagisa. Kakashi's determination and the pressure from other nations forced Tsunade to take a step she would usually avoid.

When Kakashi had asked for permission to court Nagisa, Tsunade had been sceptical in allowing him to pursue Nagisa. Kakashi was a man who lived in the past more than he did the present. He was not a man who looked forward to the future beyond serving Konoha in any manner needed for her survival. However, he had approached her and Jiraiya with purpose and for the first time Tsunade had seen more in his eye than another empty soul who would have his name carved on the memorial stone.

"You can leave, Kakashi. Once the break is over, both you and Yamato can jump start Nagisa's training."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade and Jiraiya watched as Kakashi left the room by the window. Instead of throwing something else at him, Tsunade simply leaned back and sighed heavily.

"Kakashi and Nagisa? Did you even see this coming, Jiraiya?"

"I wish I could say I did. Honestly, I never thought Kakashi would ever settle down. His past has always clouded him. I am happy he found someone but…"

"Unpredictable ninja indeed. Our brat… I never expected this."

Jiraiya frowned. "I left her here for her safety but growing up by seeking sanctuary in the red light district does not sound safe to me, hime. Every time I think I have managed to make up for her abysmal childhood, something else comes up. Had it been anyone but Kakashi…"

The mere idea that anyone would hurt Nagisa to that extent terrified both the sannin.

"Well, this would at least provide some amusement for some time."

"Guess Kakashi wanted to cover all his bases before seriously going after Nagisa."

"Oh?"

"Maa, he must have realized that the more perceptive ninja would pick up on the whole cat and mouse game the two of them will be playing. If anyone comes and complains to you, I highly doubt either of us would be willing to listen first," Jiraiya pointed out knowingly.

Teacher – student relationships were firmly discouraged as it was so easy for either party to take advantage of the other. In a highly dangerous lifestyle as theirs, something this explosive could end in the death of either one party or the whole team. Once the student had graduated into a chunin though, no one really paid attention anymore since the teacher – student relationship had evolved into equal partnership. In Nagisa's case though, since she has managed to capture so many people's attention, it would be a matter of time before someone picked up on Kakashi and Nagisa's attitude and go to the Hokage in worry.

Though if the duo could keep their whole relationship problem a secret, Jiraiya would salute them for being able to dupe so many shinobi. Jiraiya snickered at that thought. As it was no one except a selected few, knew that Naruto was a girl. If Kakashi was going to openly court Nagisa as Naruto, more rumours were going to pop up regarding his preferences.

"As it was, he was one word away from getting his internals rearranged. That brat of Sakumo's better show that he deserves our girl," Tsunade snorted in irritation though her eyes softened at the thought of her favourite brat.

"Did you catch it though? That he called her Nagisa instead of Naruto?" Jiraiya asked in amusement.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Wondering when he found out? I would think either he read the file Sarutobi-sensei had on Nagisa-chan or he confronted her himself. Either situation is plausible with him. At least I don't have to worry about his next psychological evaluation. The Yamanaka keeps putting the brat's file under red alert in case he goes off the deep end."

Jiraiya frowned. "I did not expect him to still be on a suicide watch, hime."

The blonde haired hokage shook her head and gave a small smile. "Sensei took him off the watch ever since he was assigned to Team Seven. Kakashi had more purpose beyond the mission and he rose to the occasion wonderfully despite its bitter end. He was assigned more to keep an eye on the Uchiha brat but having Nagisa around had improved his overall mental health quite a bit. He used to take mission after mission to a dangerous degree before his forced position as a genin instructor. I would approve of their relationship if only because she keeps him sane somewhat."

Jiraiya crackled wickedly. "Ooh! This is the perfect idea! A taboo relationship between a sensei and a student, who used to be a prostitute! The romance! The drama! The angst! I will have to make the student a little older of course… I am not that much of a pervert and it would be so much juicieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!" Jiraiya ended up yelling as Tsunade punched him out of her window.

"Perverted idiot," the blonde sannin grumbled though her lips curled up in smile.

Nagisa and Kakashi, huh?

If nothing else, they would make beautiful babies.

There had been hope for the future and now it was hanging on a balance once more. As if they did not have enough problems on their plate.

"I doubt grandfather expected this when he created this blasted place," Tsunade grumbled as she Shizune called out to her, begging her to return to the safety of the village.

"Idiotic brat! You better be grateful I'm keeping this seat warm for you until you are ready to take it from me. This is way too much work!"

XXX

Nagisa raced to get to Kakashi together with Sai and Sakura. Despite being pursued by the rest of Konoha 12, Nagisa knew in her heart that she was doing the right thing. If she had left Kakashi to die as he planned to, she would never be able to forgive herself for not trying her best. She had already lost Sasuke to his darkness and Orochimaru and she would be damned if she would lose the one man she cared for more than she was willing to admit.

Sakura and Sai followed steadfastly beside her and Nagisa was ever so grateful for their solid presence. Even with Gaara and Shikamaru determinedly blocking her path, Nagisa looked forward and moved with purpose knowing better than to let doubts cloud her mind.

Shikamaru should know better than to simply lock her in a holding cell. Nagisa had been a prankster during her childhood and skills gained then do not simply disappear once she became a genin. Her travels with Jiraiya had also taught her different methods to escape being bound. Sakura's strength had also helped her out.

Most importantly though, she had a silver haired ninja to give a complete smack down. How dare the idiot go off without stopping and thinking of plans that do not require him to act as a sacrificial virgin! Once she got her hands on him, Hatake Kakashi better be prepared to spend an undetermined amount of time in the hospital under Sakura's tender loving care for making her worry so much.

They fought their way to the base. They interrupted the ritual and Nagisa made sure Kakashi wasn't suicidal enough to sacrifice himself now that they had arrived as his back up.

He was not.

Thank the gods for small mercies.

So they fought back to back. They threw various high level techniques as though they were candies. They left the small fries to the rest of the entourage that followed Team Seven from Konoha.

It was exhilarating fighting side by side with Kakashi. They could both hold themselves well and each trusted the other to watch their backs.

Once more, Nagisa's technique saved their lives as Hiruko could not absorb the Rasenshuriken. It was a dangerous technique and Nagisa was ever so grateful that she had found a way to throw the blasted – but so completely awesome and she is so in love with her badass technique – newly improved rasengan at the man who would have caused her Kakashi's life.

And she did not regret it as the man lay dying though she did feel a little disgruntled that Kakashi had gone to Hiruko's side even if only to ensure the man was dead.

But her friends were all around her.

Her teacher – and he was only her teacher damn it! – was safe and alive.

War has been avoided once more.

The bad guy lay defeated at their feet.

It was a good end to what started out as a really shitty day.

She was just a little smug when she returned the bells to Kakashi. Her control, while not perfect, had definitely improved and the surprise in Kakashi's eye was worth it.

The teasing from her comrades and friends though were truly not worth it. Even with Kakashi's denial, Nagisa knew her friends would milk the situation for all its worth even though none of them knew how close they were hitting. So she chose the path of least resistance and ran.

Kakashi should have expected Nagisa to follow him with the remaining members of Team Seven. He should have expected Nagisa to throw every plan he made out of the window if it did not suit her. He should have known that regardless of their unresolved relationship issues, Nagisa would never abandon him.

And he falls in love with her once more.

When she gave him back his bells, Kakashi could see Obito's will living in Nagisa and thought ever so briefly that it was a shame the two would never meet. She made him so proud, he thought with a smile. She had surpassed him, her father and everyone else's expectation of her and the woman standing before him was a woman worth knowing.

A woman worth fighting for.

So he chased after her leaving the sounds of the younger generation's laughter behind them. Their steps took them to a more remote area and Kakashi sped up to catch up to her. He grabbed her arm so that she would stop and the two ninja simply looked at each other as they regulated their breathing.

Kakashi let go of Nagisa's arm once he was sure she would not bolt and he eye-smiled at her.

"I should have known you would follow."

Nagisa scoffed as she turned away from him.

"You underestimate me. If I have not given up on Sasuke until now, what makes you think I will give up on you?"

The tall man shrugged as he leaned against a tree.

"I am happy you came after me. However, considering the circumstances, I made the right call. You coming after me could have ended badly for all of us especially for Konoha."

Nagisa took a step forward and pressed her finger against his chest painfully.

"So I should have left you to die? I should have followed the rules and stayed back like some good little soldier? How convenient for you? When it works you use your philosophy but when it stands on your path, you toss it away. If you don't believe in your own words, Kakashi, why teach it to us?" Nagisa demanded furiously.

The older man held her hand, effectively stopping her fingers from bruising him. "I chose this path with the thoughts of my comrades, of my home weighing on my decision. It might look stupid to you, Nagisa, but sacrifice is something every shinobi knows. I walked fully prepared to die for everyone I care for including you."

Pulling her hand away harshly, Nagisa took a few steps back and shook her head resolutely, her conviction clear in her gaze.

"If this is how you choose to show me your care, then I would rather you did not care for me at all. Death should always be the last option yet you chose it so easily. Just because we are shinobi, that doesn't mean our lives do not value much. Your live is just as important as every life you value. If you can't see that, then there is no point to this conversation."

She did not wait for him to say anything as she turned on her heels and ran back to the village, her anger still burning brightly within her.

Nagisa ignored the tears stinging her eyes. She would be damned if she shed another tear for that idiot of man.

XXX

Kakashi sighed as he looked out of his window. Icha Icha Tactics – another brilliant masterpiece by Jiraiya-sama – lay open on his lap. He could barely concentrate on the book. His privacy afforded him reprise from keeping up the façade of reading the book. The older man could not forget the disaster of the latest mission.

Despite coming back alive and relatively unharmed, Kakashi and Nagisa barely spoke to one another. Well, it was more accurate to say Nagisa completely ignored Kakashi. She concentrated on her training especially on mastering and varying the rasengan. It was a very adaptable technique and Nagisa wanted to explore every option regarding the rasengan.

The silver haired ninja sighed and rested his head against the solid surface behind him.

This was ridiculous. He was not a child or a teenager. He would not hide in his room, sulking. If Nagisa did not want to be alone with him, he would be alone with her.

Nodding his head resolutely at the plan, Kakashi got off his bed and headed to Ichiraku's Ramen to buy ramen as bribery. When he bought 10 ramen noodles to go in various flavors, Teuchi laughed, guessing correctly who was getting most of the ramen.

"A gift or a bribe?" the older man asked as he handed Kakashi his balance. Kakashi simply eye-smiled and nodded his thanks.

"A little of both? We'll have to see how it goes," he admitted.

Teuchi grinned. "Her mother was the same. I have forgotten how many times her father came over to buy ramen as a bribe into her good graces. You look like you are following the same path."

In truth, Teuchi meant nothing incriminating with his statement. It was just an observation the ramen noodle owner made after years of serving customers.

However, Teuchi's words hit Kakashi hard as he hopped towards his destination. Nagisa was at her apartment and Kakashi was glad to know they would have the privacy of hashing things out between them. Kakashi did not even realize he was emulating Minato when it came to Nagisa. He remembered clearly wondering if his sensei even realized he was a man and that he shouldn't be catering to Kushina-san's whims so much. Minato had laughed at him then and told him he would understand one day.

Kakashi wondered sarcastically if his sensei would approve the woman who finally reduced him to acting like his sensei. Knowing Minato, he would laugh at his student's situation before trying to kill him for courting his baby girl.

Instead of knocking on the door and risking Nagisa escaping through the window, Kakashi gave her window one cursory knock before slipping into her room.

Nagisa, who had been working on a seal, looked up in alarm before narrowing her eyes at the sight of her unexpected visitor.

"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here? Uninvited and trespassing?"

"Maa, Nagi-chan! So cold. I even brought peace offerings," Kakashi said instead, showing the ramen noodles he brought along.

Nagisa's eyes widened before they narrowed dangerously once more, imitating her father's look unknowingly. Kakashi gulped once before Nagisa nodded. Kakashi placed the noodles on the table while Nagisa fetched two pairs of chopsticks and spoons.

The duo settled down and ate their respective portions. Nagisa didn't look up from her food so Kakashi had the chance to eat it in relative peace. Neither talked, enjoying the comfortable silence. Once the food was consumed and the table cleared however, Nagisa found herself feeling apprehensive.

She had a feeling Kakashi wanted to talk about their last mission together and frankly, Nagisa wasn't sure she was ready to discuss it. She pointedly went back to her seal work and internally sighed when Kakashi settled opposite her.

"What do you want, sensei?"

"Just wanted to talk, Nagisa."

Nagisa snorted and looked away. "I'm busy. Maybe some other time."

Kakashi let out a long drawn out sigh before catching Nagisa's wrist before she could draw another line and removed the brush from her grasp.

Incensed, the blonde haired woman looked at him, almost spitting fire before Kakashi lifted the woman carried her to her bed. Nagisa barely had a chance to catch herself before she was deposited on her bed. She glared at Kakashi but her ire lessened at the seriousness in his eye. Sighing tiredly, Nagisa leaned back against her headrest and watched her sensei.

Kakashi sat down and leaned against the wall, studying her intently.

Was he really that bad a catch that Nagisa was already stonewalling him before he could even make the effort to know her? Was he that terrible a man that she could not imagine them being together, if only as lovers?

Kakashi was used to being pursued. He knew that women found him attractive regardless of his choice of literature. When he had to seduce information out of his targets, he had accomplished it easily. Yet, Nagisa acted as though any relationship with him would be horrible.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about this, Nagisa? About us?" his voice was soft as he put the question. He did not want to start a fight, which he knew Nagisa would use to escape from the discussion.

"Why can't we stay as we are? You know I care for your, sensei, as your student and as your comrade. Why must it be more?" Nagisa asked in reply. She knew of lust, of desire, of want. But Nagisa did not know love. Years of being alone and exposed to the kind of love only the women of the brothel knew, Nagisa did not put much weight on that flimsy emotion.

Kakashi studied the bandanna covered woman for a long moment.

Why?

Why couldn't he leave her alone?

Why did he keep pushing and pushing?

Why was walking away so hard?

The sinking feeling in his gut.

The clenching of his heart.

The pain of loss.

The welcoming warmth of comfort.

The sound of laughter.

The glint of determination.

The shy smile.

"You managed to engrave yourself so deeply into my very being. I don't think I can let you go, Nagisa."

Want.

Desire.

Hope.

Fear.

Guilt.

Helplessness.

Shame.

"I am not the woman for you, sensei," she replied, though even to her the words sounded hollow. He was offering so much and how she wanted to simply lean forward and take and take and take…

"Shouldn't that be my choice? I worried about my age. I worried about my time on the field. I argued with myself over how many others would be more suitable but none of my arguments seem to carry much weight to me. I am in love with you, Nagisa. I want a chance to lead a life with you even if we simply start of as a couple."

"I don't want that!" Nagisa finally screamed, shocking both of them. She surged away from the bed and paced angrily around her apartment. "I don't want to lead a life with you. I don't want to be your lover. I don't want anything to do with you beyond being a student-instructor relationship. I never thought of you romantically and I never will! Won't you just stop?"

Time seemed to stop as she faced him, her eyes wide with fury, fingers clenched at her sides. Kakashi's single exposed eye widened as well and there was a fury of emotions, none she could catch and none she understood.

Kakashi stood up slowly and simply looked at the slender woman before him. He kept his own turbulent emotions tightly under control.

"If I meant nothing to you beyond an instructor you barely had for a handful of months, you would not have come for me during that mission. You would have remained in Konoha as ordered. You would not have been so angry that I willingly left to give my life up." he stated surely, his voice barely louder than necessary.

Nagisa squared her shoulders stubbornly. "I was just practising the one lesson you thought well enough. If I had known you didn't care a damn about your own life, I would not have bothered."

If she had punched him, Kakashi knew it would have been less painful but he too stood his ground. He knew where he stood with her, regardless of her words. With Nagisa, actions had always spoken louder.

Kakashi didn't even stop to think of next actions. He had never been one for being so spontaneous but Nagisa seem to be bringing out parts of him he never knew existed. Instead of thinking and pondering and debating, Kakashi simply acted.

He pulled Nagisa towards him and kissed the opened mouthed woman.

It was by no means a soft romantic kiss. Kakashi doubted Nagisa was ready for that. Instead, it was a domineering one, one that would stun her and wake her up to the reality that was them. The heat from her soft lips only made him moan as he took advantage of her open lips and dived in for a taste.

Nagisa could only gasp in shock before her mouth was plundered by a very insistent tongue. It was her first real kiss and Nagisa could do nothing more that cling to the arms imprisoning her body against Kakashi's unmoving one. Her body shuddered at the foreign feeling coursing through her veins. It was not soft or gentle and she really should not be enjoying this right now.

Kakashi kissed Nagisa deeply, desperately, imprinting the taste of the stubborn woman into his mind. His grey eyes took in the heavily lidded gaze and found himself unable to stop. So he kept kissing her, slanting their lips together, toying with her tongue. She was so inexperience that he felt a shred of amusement at her attempts of holding her own despite the way he dominated the kiss. Her fingers tightened on his arms and she unconsciously leaned towards him, a silent demand he was happy to acknowledge.

They broke apart, a string of saliva connecting their lips. Harsh gasps filled the room.

This was wrong.

This was not supposed to happen.

And yet…

And yet…

All she could think was… "More…Kashi…"

Kakashi groaned and dove in, his thin lips catching her full ones, the chapped lips wet from their kisses. She pushed against him, tasting him as he tasted her. She had always been spontaneous, always doing before thinking. Now, she could barely think and surrendered herself to the feelings Kakashi incited, the passions Nagisa had tried hard not to acknowledge.

Neither had any idea how long they stayed that way, their lips parting only to be joined again and again, the kiss softening over time into something unbearably sweet. Kakashi had stopped caging her in his arms. His arms moved to circle her waist and cup her nape, rubbing the sensitive skin there, enjoying the way Nagisa shuddered in pleasure at the gentle friction. Nagisa had one hand around Kakashi's neck and another clutching his jounin vest.

The unlikely duo only stumbled out of their pleasurable haze when Kakashi unknowingly backed against the bed and fell on his back. Nagisa, sprawled on top of him, only stared at him wide eyed, horror slowly filling those darkened blue orbs.

Kakashi knew better than to push her at this time so he calmly slipped from underneath the frozen woman. He adjusted his clothes and his mask once more, having pulled down his real mask and applied a genjutsu without Nagisa realizing.

The blonde blinked her eyes a few times, realizing distantly that they felt a little sticky. She slowly looked up at the tall man from her seated position on the bed.

Neither said anything, both warily watching the other.

Finally Kakashi decided to leave. While he did not regret the kiss – it was hard to ignore something so spellbinding – he had some soul searching to do and so did Nagisa.

He walked towards the window and perched on the sill.

"You know, it started out salty but it turned really sweet at the end. You should learn not to lie to yourself so much."

With those parting words, he left the frozen woman behind.

Nagisa stared at the empty window before raising her hand to touch her face. The dried tear tracks were still obvious to her sensitive finger pads.

Nagisa groaned and buried her face in her arms. She had been crying when she yelled at Kakashi.

And she had not even noticed it.

Lying to herself, huh?

Nagisa closed her eyes tiredly and unconsciously licked her lips, tasting Kakashi on them.

If she had not learnt to lie to herself from a young age, she would have either committed suicide or homicide.

Nagisa knew she wanted Kakashi.

But she also knew she could never have him.

It was better to keep lying to herself than to open her heart to the pain that would inevitably come.

XXX

'When it rains, it definitely pours,' Kakashi thought with disgust as he stopped before Nagisa's window. Inside, the beautiful blonde was resting her eyes, her hair covered with her signature bandanna and her jumpsuit zipped all the way up to her neck.

Looking at her like this, Kakashi could easily imagine Nagisa and Ruka to be two different woman. In a sense, they were two different woman. Both created to handle different situations. Even now, Nagisa hid the truth behind herself by wearing baggy clothes, dark coloured bandanna and hiding her scent. Kakashi could barely scent anything that would hint at Nagisa's true gender. It was no wonder none of the scent-based trackers had realized the truth. While the Aburame and Hyuuga could have – and probably had – known the secret Nagisa took painstakingly to protect, they had not said a word to anyone else. It might have been the Sandaime's protection. They might have thought it was not a big deal. They do not profit from revealing this knowledge.

One reason or another, Nagisa's secret was well protected and Kakashi could appreciate the amount of protection it had given and will continue to give her both on and off the field.

Kakashi sighed.

When it came to this woman, the only word that would fit her would be the Nara clan's trademark 'troublesome' remark. Nothing else would suit her. She was an unpredictably fiery woman who had always stolen his attention one way or another.

Their last private meeting flashed in his mind and Kakashi forcefully locked it away. Now was not the time to be thinking of that day in her apartment. Nagisa had aimed to hurt and push him away. While she had managed the first, a little, she had completely failed the second aim when she melted so willingly in his arms.

She had given so many clues and hints that he was important to her and yet she still insisted on keeping them apart. He did not know why but he was determined to find out when the timing did not suck so much.

Kakashi sighed, unwilling to wake the blonde to deliver the news that would no doubt break her heart. His only luck was that Tsunade was going to tell her rather than leaving the news to Kakashi.

Perhaps he lingered too long. Perhaps his stare alerted her.

Either way, Nagisa's sleep filled blue eyes met his own grey one.

"Kakashi? What's wrong?" she asked as she swung her feet to the side of her bed.

Kakashi wanted to take the blonde into his arms so badly but refrained from causing anything that would push her away from him.

"Lady Tsunade wants to see us immediately."

Somehow, Nagisa knew that something was wrong. She could feel it in her bones.

Kakashi's careful answers raised her alarms.

Tsunade's face was enough to frighten her.

Nagisa didn't even realize she was shaking her head before Tsunade even opened her mouth to deliver the devastating news.

XXX

Shikamaru and Iruka had helped.

Nagisa was generous enough to acknowledge that. However, they were still not enough.

Nagisa had returned to her apartment but the small space felt positively tiny. She had trouble breathing and she quickly fled. Her first instinct was to go to the red light district but seeing how full the place was, Nagisa abandoned her plans and walked away.

She ended up walking aimlessly, the moon her only companion. She let her feet lead her, unexpectedly walking to the bathhouse she met Jiraiya the first time.

The pervert.

There was an acute sense of betrayal underneath all the sorrow.

How could he do this to her? They had just met. He had just entered her life and she had him for three glorious years. Instead of sticking by her side, how could he have gotten himself killed?

She did not know how long she stared at the fence separating the bathhouse from the masses. She did not even realize she had started walking again until she stopped and something made her look up.

Kakashi looked down at her, his body perched on his window sill, his book in his hand. He said nothing as he watched her and she said nothing as she stared back.

How could he leave her now when she needed his solid presence so much? She had not finished learning from him. She had a lot to learn. How could he leave?

Her legs moved but her eyes remained on the jounin uniform clad man sans his vest watching her just as intensely. She hopped on the branch closest to him and simply stared.

Kakashi said nothing. The blankness in Nagisa's gaze terrified him but the tears that were dripping slowly from her eyes broke his heart.

He reached out a hand towards her.

Nagisa didn't even look away from him.

Her hand trembled as it reached out and grasped his.

Kakashi didn't think twice. He closed and tightened his grip, his hold firm. In a single move, he pulled her into his arms and entered his apartment. The window was swiftly closed and the dark curtains pulled together to keep the world out.

In his arms, his love trembled, her form impossibly petite against his broader one. He pulled her into his arms once they both were settled on the bed and pulled the blanket over them. He didn't say anything, knowing from experience that sometimes, words meant nothing.

The pain of losing someone was not a pain that could be articulated. Kakashi remembered losing his father, losing Obito and Rin and finally losing Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee. He remembered how lost he had been once his father had died, how guilty he felt over Obito and Rin's deaths and how helpless he felt when he lost the last of his family.

No one could help him then.

But he would have given anything to have someone simply hold him as he was holding Nagisa, as sensei had held him once.

He rubbed her arms and her back in gentle circles. The circular motions were a comfort for both of them.

She gripped his shirt and pressed her head painfully against his chest almost as though she wanted to disappear into his arms and away from the world. The tears kept and falling and finally, finally Kakashi head a keening, dying whimper form her.

He never wished to hear that sound from her again, Kakashi thought as he tightened his grip. Nagisa clawed Kakashi's chest, her mournful wail broken by her desperate sobs. She tried to rein it in but her body shook and convulsed as her sobs racked her being. She curled deeper into the tight hold, a sanctuary against the cruel reality she knew awaited her.

She couldn't stop. Her harsh breaths, her grieving howls were enough for Kakashi to rock her body gently, meaningless platitudes falling from his lips hoping any would work. None did so he simply held on.

Broken words fell from her lips and while Kakashi could not understand them, he understood the gist of it and knew there was nothing he do but be there for her.

"…told me…careful…but so stupid! Why?...dangerous bu….How could…what about me? Alive bu….why? Why? Why?!So stupid!"

He kept his arms tight around her hours after she stopped sobbing. The sheer desperation he heard in her voice surprised him but he should have expected it.

When the Sandaime died, there was an invasion, a new hokage to be found and Sasuke's defection to keep her mind occupied. Jiraiya had been her rock then since Ruka had stopped writing to Kakashi and hence Kakashi couldn't be Nagisa's pillar. The loss of the Sandaime and the invasion also meant more missions so Kakashi had barely been in the village.

Now, while there are so many threats, Nagisa didn't have anything pressing that would occupy her mind and push Jiraiya's death away. The loss of someone she had spent staying closely for three years had hit the woman hard as Jiraiya had been the only person she had such close and dependent ties with.

Kakashi looked down at the woman in his arms and studied her features. Her nose was red from crying, her pallor sickeningly pale and her eyes swollen. Kakashi sighed tiredly before closing his eyes.

XXX

A small contingent gathered in front of Konoha's gates the moment Fukasaku, the elder toad, proposed to teach Nagisa senjutsu. Nagisa looked back to see Tsunade, Shikamaru and Sakura sending her off and smiled at them. She would be gone for a while though she wanted to stay and help them with the investigations. However, she had higher priorities and could only leave the rest at the hands of her comrades.

Besides, she would be returning soon and even leaving could not put out the smile on her face as the highlight of the day's events. She had never seen Kakashi blushing so hard until he was forced to read out loud from his Icha Icha Tactics. For a man, who was so confident in walking around with his head buried in the book in public, reading out those raunchy lines out loud seemed to have killed him. Shikamaru too. The perverts.

It was a good thing he wasn't there to see her off. She was not sure how she would have reacted considering the last meeting and the promise she finally managed to wrangle from him.

"We'll be off then. Finish your goodbyes, Naruto-chan."

Nagisa nodded. "I'll be heading out then. Shikamaru, I'm leaving those codes to you."

Shikamaru smirked. "Don't worry about it."

"Good luck, Naruto," Sakura wished with a smile. Shikamaru simply nodded beside her.

"We'll keep you posted on the investigations," Tsunade promised as she once again was forced to let Nagisa go. After losing Jiraiya so soon, Tsunade wished she could keep Nagisa close but senjutsu training would be good for Nagisa and an ace in her arsenal.

Fukasaku's confidence boosted hers and Tsunade looked forward to seeing Nagisa once her training was over.

"Then, we'll be off."

The two puffs of smoke were all that remained and the trio finally walked away from the gates.

From afar, Hatake Kakashi watched the disappearing smoke and sighed, remembering his promise to Nagisa.

"Promise me?"

Kakashi looked into those desperate pools of blue and groaned audibly before nodding.

"Alright, I promise you."

Nagisa looked at him hopefully.

"I won't pursue you anymore."

"In every way, you still leave me behind. First as Ruka, now as yourself. You can be so cruel, Nagisa."

XXX

Author's Note:

Okay, wow! This was so difficult to write. The idea was already in my head but to get the words out was pure torture! I really struggled to get this chapter written. Honestly, I hope it was not too confusing since I mixed the past and present together. Please do tell me if it was too confusing. I will edit the chapter again or rewrite it somehow or make sure I don't write the next chapter in the same style.

Anyways, my apologies once again for not updating in ages. I started this chapter months ago and it just would not finish. I had the scenes in my head but it would not flow. There were so many incidents to squeeze into one chapter and I hope I did it justice and the flow was alright. Sorry! I am rambling again.

I really hope you guys enjoyed reading this and it wasn't a waste of time. This chapter has a lot of groundwork and the real courting will begin the next chapter. There will be more KakaNaru interactions there as well. I really hope I did not bore you with this one.

Thank you for the reviews. Constructive criticism is welcome, as always. I would love to hear from you all.

Thanks for reading and I hope you guys have a wonderful day!