AMERICA

Yo, how's it going, dude?

You appear to be in a sour mood.

Oh, that's right, you always are.

Probably because with me you'll never be up to par.

We've both had similar issues

But I handle them way better-need a box of tissues?

Take a glance at my smile, now yours, and compare.

I can so see through you with that obvious grump air.

You're livin' your life, I'm livin' it good

If you had the chance to fix that, I doubt you even would

You obviously wouldn't be able to tell

The difference between earth, heaven, and hell

Informing you of this, I know I shouldn't

When it comes to outranking me, you totally couldn't

I'm so chill

You give people chills

But you don't scare me, silly communist

Watch out, 'cuz here comes my fist!

RUSSIA

Foolish little country, I know it's the spotlight you seek.

Nobody will give it to you, especially not with that fast food reek.

When it comes to pounding you into a pile of dust

I can do that with ease, and I don't feel rushed

Not only that, but I have my own little minions!

I can also get them to torture you without asking any opinions

That way, I don't even have to waste my time

Although I do prefer to be the one transforming you to grime

I don't need sympathy

My smiles are to help keep control of my emotions, see?

They serve a better purpose than yours

Otherwise unconscious bodies could be filling the floors

By means of scream, I am at the top

In Soviet Russia, I don't need a knife to chop, chop, chop!

I shot a man all the way back to Poland

So you better run away when my canons are a rollin~

Ever played Russian Roulette?

If you refuse to do that I could trap you in a net

Now, I'm sure that's too scary for you, da?

I've been through so much more, ha.

AMERICA

Oh, brother, that coming from a guy who's cracked?

Sure you survived, but look at the times you've been attacked

Gimme a break

I can easily make you ache

Not only that

I can whack you with my baseball bat.

You don't think I've also been through a lot?

I wish someone had left you in Siberia to rot.

You're a pansy, or should I say sunflower?

Heck, look at me, I was the biggest world power!

We've had a race to space

And the Cold War too

Who won again? I don't think it was you.

I'll leave you as nothing but a pile of big bones

After all, I'm strong, and I'm Alfred F. Jones

The hero shall conquer all

The villain will be at my mercy with this last brawl

For the two of us, there's not room enough

And it is you we all will rebuff.

RUSSIA

Oh, America, you naïve little boy.

I could use you as my experiment toy.

How long will you last

If I tie you to a broken mast?

I hope you don't mind splinters

Can you survive my harsh winters?

You don't have sisters like I do.

I bet Belarus could haunt you too.

Maybe I could request her to do just so.

Sneaking around in your house and pretending there are ghosts a flow

You amuse me to no end,

And our tense relationship is nothing I will bother to mend

By the way, with your statements, there are a few problems

Nobody considers you the hero but yourself and some hoodlums

Maybe you think I don't have a single friend

But I still have people I can get to where I want, they will attend

I just needs pawns

Your generations have lately been nothing but pesky spawns.

WHO WON?! YOU DECIDE!