They Can Get Us Anything

By Crankyman7

"And so," said Stacker Pentecost, "that's everything there is to know. We need you with us on the strike. You're one of the best crews we've ever had."

The two pilots eyed the marshal. One of them, a burly man of thirty five with a black beard and blonde hair, fingered the large golden cross about his neck. The other, a blonde woman of thirty three, kept her arms folded across her chest.

"So," said the male pilot, "let us run through plan one more time. You want nuke to take through breach, yes?"

"With Striker Eureka," said Pentecost. "We need Cherno Alpha to act as a guard while the Hansens deliver the payload."

"And we get you payload," said the woman, a smile playing about her lips.

"Yes, that's the idea," said Pentecost. "You can do that?"

"Of course!" the man exclaimed. "Sasha and I are celebrities, and we have big influence with Russian Government."

"If Aleksis and I ask for nuke, we get nuke," said Sasha.

"Thank you," said Pentecost, shaking each of their hands in turn. The world is grateful…and so am I."

"You can thank us later, when we bring you bomb," said Aleksis.

When Pentecost had left their room, Sasha and Aleksis looked at each other.

"Big influence with government?" said Sasha. "You know price we pay for that."

"I know, I know," said Aleksis. "Indefinite contract doing commercials. I can't get last promotion we did out of my head."

"Is stupid commercial, yes," Sasha agreed. "But they pay well. How you think Cherno Alpha is still in good repair?"

Aleksis laughed. "True. Now come dear. We go to admiral and request nuke."

Stacker Pentecost watched as the crew carefully unloaded the bomb from the Russian cargo plane. Beside him, Sasha and Aleksis also watched with expressions of satisfaction on their faces.

"One nuclear bomb, ready for use," said Aleksis. "Now you can thank us."

"I do," said Pentecost. "Many times over."

There was a whir of helicopter blades overhead. The marshal and the two pilots looked up to see the massive form of Cherno Alpha being carried towards its dock in the Hong Kong Shatterdome. The sun rays glinted off of its polished surface. Sasha and Aleksis saluted as it passed over their heads.

"Is most beautiful sight I ever saw," said Sasha. "Almost makes what we had to do to get bomb worth it."

"I can guess," said Pentecost. "But don't worry, I won't ask for details."

"Is appreciated," said Aleksis.

Two days later, the Hansens arrived with Striker Eureka. There was much rejoicing upon their arrival- the news of their recent defeat of the kaiju that had broken through the Sydney wall had spread quickly through the ranks of the Pan Pacific Defense Corps.

As Hercules Hansen and his son Chuck strode through the crowd that had gathered to meet them, they shook hands with everyone, nodding graciously at the compliments they had received. When they came to the Kaidonovskys, they stopped. A smile slowly spread across Herc's face, and it looked as though he was about to say something. Instead, he simply nodded in acknowledgment.

"He's a little tongue-tied at the moment," said Chuck. "You might find out why later."

"Of course," said Aleksis. "Pleasure to have you both here."

"And to see you both," said Herc, finally choosing to speak. "You know, as jaeger pilots we're supposed to have this macho image. Tough guys and all that sort of thing. But when you of all people tell everybody to try rose-scented shampoo, a man's got to listen."

"Is appreciated if you forget about that," Aleksis replied curtly.

"If you say so," said Herc. "Now, if you'll excuse me, it's been a long trip and I need to take a shower. Chuck, you brought my shampoo bottle?"

"It's in the bag," said Chuck.

"Good," said Herc.

"When is empty, we would like to have bottle," said Sasha.

"Very well, but why?" Herc asked.

"So we can burn it," Sasha replied.

"If that makes you happy," said Herc, smiling once again. He and Chuck continued on their way, leaving the frowning Kaidonovskys behind them.