Thank you to all my readers for the great feedback on this chapter. Your support means so much to me and its great to hear from all of you. Big thanks to Lbug84 for betaing. Especially this chapter which was a spelling nightmares thanks to my iPhone. We just have the Epilogue after this so I hope you all enjoy!

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Katniss's pov

I sit in the lobby of the office building. He only has the one office door and it's locked from the office-building hallway. Do you understand how uncomfortable it is to stand outside a therapist's office jiggling the lock? I feel a huge urge to run back to my car at that moment. I don't listen to my gut.

I never went to a therapist before, although in hindsight it probably would have been a good idea after the accident. I was never comfortable with the idea of telling someone else my problems, letting him weigh in on my life. Show me all the things I already know I'm doing wrong. But Johanna told me I had to go at least twice or she was going to call my mother. And that kind of threat, I don't take lightly. I can take two hours with a stranger anytime compared to ten minutes with my mother. So, I'm sitting here.

It's been a week since the kitten died. A week since I saw Peeta last and essentially told him to beat it. I miss him. I look at the clock.

10:02 a.m. Bastard is two minutes late to my appointment. Did I get the time wrong? I'm pretty sure we said 10:00 a.m.. Could we have said ten thirty? Shit. Maybe I should just go. He's clearly not showing up.

10:03 a.m.. Yeah I should go. He should know how this works for new clients. I'm sitting out in the lobby smiling awkwardly at every guy who looks like he could be a therapist. My keys jingle in my fingers.

10:05 a.m.. All right, fuck this. I get up-

"Are you here to see Dr. Abernathy?"

Dammit.

I awkwardly smile at a middle aged typical white dude with the typical thirty pound beer belly. He looks like the type to make a six-pack joke about how he went for the keg instead.

"He'll be right with you. He's just a few minutes late."

Is he referring to himself in the third person?

"If you want to go around to the front, I'll let you in."

"Okay."

I go around to the front of his office and he buzzes me in. The waiting room is weird. There's just a massage chair and a random settee. He keeps the lights dim. He uses a remote control to turn on the stereo. It's one of those fancy ones that's all glass so you can see the CDs through it. It plays spa music.

"This room is intended to help relax."

I look around. Intended being the key word here.

He returns two minutes later and tells me to come in and take a seat either on the chair or the couch. I feel like it's a test and suddenly I'm able to empathize with Pat from Silver Linings Playbook.

I choose the chair.

"Now, we're just going to have you fill out some basic information."

I assume he's going to hand me the clipboard in his hands. He doesn't.

"Address?" He asks. I give it to him.

"Home number?" I give him my cell.

"Just so you're aware I'm not the type that's going to sit here and keep nodding. I'm going to tell you how I see things and what I think you can do to make positive changes, once I hear you out. And how do I know what the answers are? 35 years of experience. Like how a mechanic can smell a car and know the carburetor's broken before even popping the top. He learned it from being in the garage." His metaphor is weak, but I get the gist. He's a professional. Got it.

"So please tell me about yourself. You can start from anywhere."

"Okay. Well I... I…"

Easier said then done I guess. I glance over to his desk, he has a quote propped up on it. It says 'for clarification purposes, let's assume I know everything.'

"There's not much to tell." It sounds weak, even to my own ears.

"Well, why don't we start with where you're from?"

"Texas."

"Where in Texas?"

"A small town near Kilene, which is near Dallas, sort of."

"Army brat?"

"Yep, until I was eleven. That's when we lost my dad. I don't want to talk about that though."

"We can talk about anything you like. What brought you to California?"

"My husband and my daughter died. I came here and then I opened a farm." We both knew that's what he was hedging for. There's no doubt in my mind that Jo filled him in.

"When did that happen?"

"Two, maybe three years ago. Something like that."

"Are you going to pretend that you don't know exactly how long it's been?"

"Fine. Two years, 7 months and 17 days. Is that better? Listen I got through fine then I don't need to rehash that kind of thing. I'm doing just fine now."

"You use that word a lot? Fine. What does that mean to you?"

"It means what it means. I'm fine. Things aren't good. They've been worse and there's no sign of the status quo changing. So they're fine."

"And you're okay with not being happy?"

"Aren't most people?"

"No. Katniss, I don't believe they are." I stay quiet. Can't really argue with that. He definitely knows more people than I do. "When was the last time you were happy?"

A stab of pain shoots through my chest as I think of Peeta. I can't stop the sudden video montage of him from zooming through my head, at the zoo, at my house, in my bed, on the porch, playing with the kittens on the floor. I swallow.

"A week or two ago."

"What was going on in your life to make you happy?"

"I was seeing someone. It was promising for a little while."

"What happened?"

"I was reminded why I don't date."

"And why is that?"

Shit. Walked right into that one didn't I?

"You know you don't have to fight me Katniss, this is a safe space. What you say is confidential."

"So… I'm supposed to tell you about how I lost my husband and child to a drunk driver, and couldn't take the looks of pity in the supermarket so I ran away? How I spent close to a year completely useless until I realized I may as well help others? How I picked animals because they're creatures who would never intentionally hurt me? Or maybe I should tell you about how after being a serial dater just to keep my libido in check, I met a reformed billionaire who decided to ruin me for anybody else? Is that what you want to hear? Is it?"

"Well... Yes."

"Johanna thinks I need you because I'm not happy. That's bullshit. I know I'm unhappy and I know why I'm unhappy. I chased him away. He was hurting me and he didn't even mean to. I cared too much and he had too much power over me. Just like Gale. Losing him and-" I choke. Holy shit. I will not cry in front of a stranger. Can't say Prim's name. "And I wasn't even in love with him! Could you imagine what it would be like if I lost Peeta? You don't swing back from multiple hits to the brain. I couldn't take it. I couldn't."

"So you love this man? The one who you broke up with last week?"

I clenched my jaw. Then I relaxed. I do love Peeta.

"Yes."

"But you let him go? To protect yourself?"

"Yes."

"So now if you lose him, he'll never know how you feel?"

"I guess not."

"Katniss. I say this with the best of intentions. Pain is part of life. No one should have to experience the kind of pain you have had to suffer but you have made it through. It would be unfortunate if you were to let tragedy ruin the rest of your life."

"I'm scared."

"You're telling me, sweetheart. Why don't you do yourself a favor and tell him?"

My session with Abernathy left me exhausted. I drive home on autopilot and climb the stairs into my bed. Buttercup is stretched out asleep in the middle of it. I climb into bed and settle beside him. I sleep fitfully, trapped in that state where you dream you're still awake. I can't stop thinking about Peeta. Or about what Abernathy said. The damn shrink might have had a point.

Peeta Pov

"Well that settles it." Finnick says throwing down the last sheets of paper.

"Yes it does." I am a coward and an idiot.

"So we're back in working order, right boss?" Finn asks.

I look up at him. Are we? I know the company is, but am I? No, I'm a mess. I'm back in a job I don't want, working in a company I hate, and I'm away from the girl I'm in love with. Yep. In love. But I'm too big of a coward to make the permanent change it takes to be with her. Who says you can't psychoanalyze yourself?

I run my hand over my neck. I don't deserve her. If I can't make the big choices then I don't deserve the girl who can. Katniss was right when she said we weren't the same. She left a life filled with only pain and went somewhere where she could help others and thrived doing so. What did I do? I run away from the life I hate and looked for a better one. And I found it. But I wasn't brave enough to stay in it.

"What do you think, Finn?"

"I think the company has definitely stabilized."

"What about me?"

Finn looks up from the documents he's scanning in the chair across from my desk.

"What's on your mind, Peet?"

"I don't want this, Finn. Not anymore." Finnick looks uncomfortable. I understand. He is one of my best friends. And on the other hand he is my number two guy in the company. The board of directors looks to him to keep me straight. "I don't think I ever wanted this, not really."

"I have an idea." Finn says.

"What?"

"Why don't you take the weekend off? Go back to Katniss and ask her to forgive you."

"What? And just show up back here on Monday?"

"Well…yeah."

"And what do I do when I want to leave the office at four?"

"You're the boss. You can leave the office at four."

"In theory. But in practice I'm nobody's boss."

"You're my boss." Finn let out one of his killer smiles in a pseudo sexy voice. I chuckle. "And besides you can go and I'll cover for you."

"You've got a kid coming soon."

"Any day now." He says. "Besides Annie's thinking she'll want to go back to work and we have ridiculous childcare for the people in this building. Little Finn will be right downstairs and get to hang with me at lunch."

"Little Finn? So you think it's going to be a boy?"

"Please? Like I'd impregnate Annie with anything but. Especially the first time around? She can have 6 girls for all I care after, as long as I get my boy." I laugh and shake my head. Poor Annie.

"How'd you manage to figure everything out?"

"The love of the right woman, my friend."

I'm quiet as I think about what he says. That's when it hits me. Really hits me.

I don't want this… but Finn does.

"How about another idea?"

Finnick's eyebrows perk up. "What did you have in mind?"

Katniss's pov

It's been three weeks since I last saw Peeta. He tried to call me once last week but I just stared at the screen and watched as my voicemail picked it up. I don't know what to say to him. I'm still trying to figure it out. I've never been good at these sorts of things. I was never really one for planning any of this either. So here I am back in front of the freezer, surrounded by one cat, two kittens, and my lovers, Ben and Jerry.

Jo took Rue to see a movie. They invited me to come along but movies aren't really my thing. I'd probably just sit in the dark lost in thought anyway. At least here I can do it bloated in my pajamas while I stuff my face with full fat premium ice cream. And this way is free, minus the cost of the ice cream. I watch as the little orange kitten attacks my flip-flops underneath the kitchen table. Buttercup has joined in hitting the shoes away from the kitten. They're bonding, which is cute. The little tuxedo kitten runs behind buttercup and jumps him from behind saving his brother. I've found them both homes so the kittens will only be staying with me another few days. I'll miss them. I watch buttercup smack them and laugh. I know he'll miss them too.

I hear the back door swing open and roll my eyes. Dammit. Why does no one lock that damn door? I stand up to yell at whoever it is.

"It's after hours and-" I freeze.

Standing inside the door with a big bow on top of a pint of Ameri-cone Dream Ice Cream and what must be dozens of dandelions is Peeta. I watch his hesitant smile appear on his face. His eyes scan my body and swallow. I cross my arms remembering I'm in only a tank top and my running shorts. The tiny green ones Peeta likes so much. He clears his throat.

"Hi." He says.

Hi. I miss you. I love you. Come back to me. I think all of that. But no, I can't let myself be happy so I put my foot in my mouth instead.

"What are you doing here?" I snap.

Smooth Katniss. So smooth.

"Isn't it obvious?" I shake my head. "I'm here for the ice cream party."

"I don't know what you're talking about." His eyes move towards the freezer. He looks back at me arching his eyebrow.

"I brought my own pint this time."

I look at the clock. "It's eleven thirty. Tomorrow's a work day. Do you think that's such a good idea? It's a long drive back to the city."

"It is a long drive back to the city." He nods. "But I don't have any plans to go back into the city." I blink. A couple times. Is he saying… "I don't work in the city anymore."

"Where do you work then?"

"I've been hired to work for Heart Keeper Farms."

"I didn't approve any new volunteers."

"I'm not a volunteer."

"I didn't hire any new employees."

"I don't get paid by Heart Keeper farms."

"Excuse me?"

"I've been hired by Panem Investment Corp."

"The San Francisco firm that invested-"

"The very one. My job is to oversee their nonprofit sector. I will be the head of fundraising and asset management for this and six other community farms across California." I'm speechless. My insides take on the consistency of the ice cream I just ate on a very hot day. I watch as he takes a few steps towards me. He puts down the ice cream on the counter. He extends the hand with the dandelions. "For you."

"For what?" My voice is hoarse. Jesus Kat, hold it together.

"For all the days I haven't been here when I should have. For walking away from the real thing and not making it clear to you that I was coming back. That I was still fighting for us."

"Peeta, we broke up." I feel the tears flood my eyes and swallow them back. "There is no 'us.'"

He frowns for a minute. I watch him put the flowers down on the counter beside the Ben and Jerry's.

"Bullshit." He's much closer now. Too close.

"What?"

"I'm calling Bullshit."

"It's not bullsh-" His lips meet mine and I forget what I'm supposed to say. I've missed his lips. His smell. His arms. Him. I missed him. My body fights my brain as I return the kiss. My arms wrap around his neck even as my brain shouts that I'm going into dangerous territory. I feel my feet backing up followed by a smack of the freezer door slamming shut as my body is pushed against it. Peeta is right here with me. His hands are circling my hips. I manage to wrap them around his waist before my brain can figure out whats happening. He caresses my legs as I move against him. I break apart from him feeling tears on my face. He kisses my cheeks. One for every place there's a tear. I get quite a few kisses.

"I'm sorry. I should have never left." Another kiss on the cheek. "You needed me to show you I was here for the long haul, and I failed that test." Another kiss. "I will do everything I can to make it up to you."

"Why now? It's been three weeks, Peeta. I-"

"I couldn't come back until I could tell you what you needed to know. And those bastards wouldn't let me get my way without two weeks notice. I spoke to Jo or Rue everyday when you didn't take my calls. I got reports. Made sure no one tried to come after what's mine." He kisses my forehead.

"So you're-"

"Staying, for good. Even if that means I have to sleep on the porch. Or worse in the bunkhouse."

I feel the smile spread across my lips. I missed him so much. But-

"It's not that easy." I sigh against him. My brain has gotten control of my body again and my mouth says things it doesn't want to. "It hurt when you left, Peeta. It hurt so much. I needed you. I didn't even need all of you. Just a text, a quick phone call. Just not to be forgotten. You just…disappeared-"

"I know. I'm sorry. It will never and I mean never happen again. You don't have to forgive me right this minute. I wasn't kidding about sleeping on the porch. Although …if I had a preference, I would love to be forgiven now."

His hand caresses my cheek and I feel myself snuggle into it. I have two choices here. I can let my pride keep me warm and stay miserable or I can take a risk with my heart again. Neither are my favorite choices. But at least one gives me Peeta back.

"How do I know you're not going to leave again?"

"Because Jo promised to jar my kidneys if I did." I snort my laughter and shake my head. "I can't leave anyway."

"Why not?"

"Because you'll always have my heart. And I can't really go too far without it. Or you."

"That's kind of cheesy." I run my fingers through his hair. It feels so good against my skin.

"You do that to me, Heart Keeper."

"Wow, more cheesiness." I feel him squeeze my ass. Hard.

"Ow! Well it is."

"I'm trying to be sincere here, lady. The least you can do is stay quiet."

"So you want me to stay quiet now?"

The mood changes between us as I adjust my body against his. He exhales slowly and I feel his arms tighten ever so slightly.

"Well I'd prefer it if…"

"If what?"

"If you were screaming my name."

The temperature in the room goes up by at least ten degrees. I missed him. I missed him and I missed this. I have one last internal battle with myself before I tell my anger to leave me the fuck alone. I attack his mouth with mine. I let out a small moan as his taste filters past my lips. So good. I need more, I think as I bring us closer and caress his mouth with my tongue.

His hands wrap around my rib cage, sending chills down my spine and straight to my center. His hand moves up to my breast and caresses my nipple over the thin fabric. I feel the bud pucker instantly and move even closer to him so we're matched up length to length.

"I need you." I whimper against his mouth. He kisses me with an even stronger passion that borders on painful. I love it. I squeeze his hair in my fingers and squeal in delight when he lifts me up higher onto his body. My small shorts graze against his hard length beneath his dark jeans and I push into the sensation. I love his cock. I need it. I need it right now. My brain tries to tell me how fast this is happening. I shut it up. My heart suggests the bed upstairs. But I overrule that option too.

"Now. Please. Now." I move my hands to grasp his waistband and unbutton the top of his jeans as fast as possible. I reach in and grasp his hot thick skin in my hands before I've even gotten the zipper down. I'm not wearing underwear under my sleep shorts and I feel Peeta move the loose fabric aside and hammer into me hard. I cry out loudly at the rough penetration. Being so filled so quickly thrills me and I can feel myself throbbing around him.

"Holy hell." Peeta moans against my shoulder when he completely fills me.

"More."

I'm gripping his shoulders impossibly tight. He pulls out and rams back into me. He keeps the pace steady and punishing. I'm addicted to it and I scream out at every forward penetration. I'm thankful for the cool steel of the freezer behind me. It allows my body to fully absorb Peeta's thrusts. Peeta's mouth moves to my neck just as his movements take an upward turn.

"It's so good, Peeta!"

His mouth on my sensitive pulse point mixed with the new pressure on my clit shoots me to an unfathomable high. It feels like an orgasm but there is no break in sight.

"I love you." I cry.

I don't realize what I've said until its too late. Peeta pauses for less then a second before I see his smile spread over his face. He grabs my face with one of his hands and kisses me with an open mouth. He swallows my moans as his pace quickens. The impossible high has somehow doubled in intensity and I know I'm right there. My legs squeeze around him tighter. His hands return to my ass and he impales me farther on top of him. My clit gets the extra stimulation it needs and I suddenly combust. The shockwaves are so intense that my whimpers have gone silent. I feel Peeta's arms wrap around my waist. He grips me tight as his own body goes stiff. I watch as his eyes shut and bliss takes over his features.

I don't know how long we stand there. I am still wrapped tightly around Peeta. Our bodies are still connected. I feel myself trembling. Peeta's hand moves to caress my cheek. I meet his eyes with mine. He kisses me again. This kiss is so different. It's tender, and perfect, and overwhelming. I remember what I screamed to him.

"You love me. Real or not real?"

His eyes are looking right into mine. There's no hiding. I'm not usually good at reading people but Peeta makes his feelings clear to the world.

"Real." I say.

His lips crash to mine again. I will never tire of the feel of his lips against mine.

"I love you so much, Katniss. I don't…I can't… I.."

He starts to get frantic as he looks at me. His eyes are pleading with me to understand how he feels. I do understand because it's too much for me too. The feelings aren't just any love. They're powerful. They're new. This thought scares me…and I feel sadness when I think about Gale. We never shared this. When I look in Peeta's eyes I feel happiness, because despite the odds I still managed to find it. I feel gratitude that he didn't let me fuck it up.

"I know." I press a soft kiss to his lips.

Peeta moves a sweaty lock of hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear. Then he tilts his head up and gives me a long kiss on the forehead.

"We have a lot to talk about," he says. His eyes seem different right now. They're…peaceful. Somehow over the time I've met him they've lost that slightly haunted look to them. I couldn't be happier.

"We do." I kiss his lips softly. "We can talk about it upstairs."

He smiles. His eyes fill with hesitant hope. He opens his mouth to say something and shuts it again.

"Upstairs," I repeat.

He gives me a meaningful nod. His arms adjust around me. He moves and then I am no longer balanced against the freezer door. Peeta cradles my body into his. I have never felt more complete. I wrap my arms around him and let him walk us slowly up the stairs.

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