A Roaring Good Honk

Ship: Tieshipping (Honda X Miho)

Important Note: Miho is here entirely based on the manga Miho, also known as Ribbon to her friends – taken from the wiki, "In the manga, Miho is a meek, kind, shy, and quiet girl". Additionally, the 'love puzzle' incident was Honda giving the thing to Miho in the manga – it wasn't Mayumi trying to give it to Jounouchi, xDDD. Please keep these things in mind when you read the story.

Length: 3000 words.

Warnings: Awkward title, strange formatting, basically nothing else.

Handicap: The handicaps/restrictions are being picked off a list I prepared well before the contest started. The rules are simple; each of the twenty–six restrictions on the list has a name beginning with a different letter of the alphabet. The round's handicap is then picked from taking the first letter of the challenge pairing and matching this to the handicap with the corresponding letter. If two pairings beginning with the same letter appear, a random number generator will be used amongst the remaining 'caps, to decide which one will be used for the second one. In this way, I can't predict what handicap will be used for the next round.

After some deliberation, I wound up using two handicaps this time round. The first was the one which was meant to go on my Toonshipping fic: Time's a Trial – 'The fic must be written in four hours (plus two hour's editing time)'. The second handicap was Two Things I Wanna Say, a handicap that was originally dropped from the list, due to being so very hard - but it's back with a vengeance, because why the hell not, and it is…

...plot–related, and so won't be revealed until the end. Wonder if you can guess what it was before I tell you, though...? |D

"So, today we–"

"are going to do something well beyond Jounouchi's feeble compre–."

"Kaiba, you total j–"

"once we have finished talking–"

"Oh? You know it to be tru–"

"Like a liar would be able to sa–"

"–we will be working on–"

"Is that really the best insult you can come out with, mutt? Because I can–"

"Hah, like you ever would. Scared of your PR ima–"

"–a creative exercise designed to–"

"I could crush you in the blink of an eye, but you're not even worth tha–"

"Crush? Hah, I'd like to see YOU try and take down Cho–"

"AS I WAS SAYING."

"Please. I dragged myself here despite your friend's best efforts to keep me unconscious, which were more than yours. And I freaking OWNED the Cho–"

"Until I set him on fir–"

"– and if you had been listening–"

"Call yourself lucky I didn't sue for property dama–"

"Do psychopaths even count as propert–"

"Katsuya, if you like talking to your friend so much, may I ask that you work with him?"

"He's really not my frie–"

"Hmph, like I'd ever work with a–"

"A...?"

"Er..."

"Thank you. Now that you are listening – today, we will be working on a creative writing piece. You will choose each other's titles, and you will then write a short story for your partner based on the title you were given..."

Love Poem Drafts/Attempts/Whatever

By Yugi Moto

Commissioned by Hiroto Honda

I. (A Study of the Suitor)

.

He gazes across the classroom longingly,

As though he is a forlorn puppy

Begging for food and love–

(And in this case probably more love than food,

Though it is admittedly uncertain–)

bequietOtherMeyou'reruiningthegoddamnpoem

(But what I said is tr–)

lookjustshutupI'mtryingtothinkhere!

(There's not much more to say about Honda, though…)

…Point.

II. (On The Power of Love)

.

The power of love

Is great indeed

(And that shouldn't have gone on the next line, there's a rule about–)

for it can break the rules

and move mountains

(Ooh, very clever.)

.

And he is indeed empowered–

(–by love, obviously.)

–but at the same time he is helpless,

because he doesn't have her yet.

(He hasn't asked her again, has he?)

She turned him down the first time

Politely yet brutally–

–so he loves her, yet fears her;

too scared to ask again, too polite to ask.

He may only stare and stare at her, just as he does now,

Powerful yet powerless,

She has him in the palm of her hand

though she does not know that yet.

.

Days go

to weeks, weeks

to months, and yet still

she continues to sit,

unasking, unknowing;

her back curving over, as she

(most gracefully?)

bends over her desk, pencil flickering

back and forth between fingers slim–

(–in a manner most frivolous,)

–in a fashion most studious!

For she works very hard

(when she's drawing cupcakes in the margin of her fil–)

gawdnowe'resupposedtobesayingnicethingshere

.

There is something divine in her work–

(That rings a bell somewh–)

–not that sort, I meant something intangible,

For she crafts intelligence,

whimsical statements born from

Droning, dulled diction,

(Comas much?)

pleasejustletmefinish!

So fairy floss is woven from

ethereal words, concerning...

.

"Jounouchi, will you kindly not pull faces in Kaiba's general direction-"

Um...

"-and Kaiba, stop trying to give Jounouchi a paper cut, and if I catch you again-"

Erm... concerning..

"Oooh, don't you give me that look! Do you even realize how long I've been in the education system?"

.

(Can you even make notes about that?)

...Evidently, or she wouldn't be trying to.

.

"And when I'm done with you two, I'll declare a strike, and I'll go to the darned Board and get a darned pay rise if it's the last darned thing I do–"

And she is still writing,

words which presumably manage

to take some divine meaning away

from this…

this…

This…

(Rant? Absolute nonsense?)

…maybeIshouldstartover.

III. (On the Object of His Love)

.

She's a pretty girl

And ever so quiet; but

Honda needs someone quiet.

His life is a raging thunderstorm, and he's

caught in the middle of it, caught

in the chaos of his life, wanting only

for

someone

someone to hold

someone to calm

someone to be his life companion–

.

"– so, if you could possibly move towards your partner now–"

(…Does Honda usually go that colour?)

IV. (On The Current Situation)

.

He's got no partner,

She doesn't either,

(And he's in love, rig– )

That'swhatI'vebeentryingtosayforthelasttenminutes

(It could still be more obvious, tho–)

Oh, how he is in love!

He is absolutely smitten,

(head over heels)

and utterly infatuated

(though not in that way)

and a total hopeless romantic

(Good, but it could do with some reasons why–)

–okay, so:

.

He knows he has chosen well,

because she is perfect

perfect eyes

perfect hair

perfect temperament.

Oh, how delicate she is

how valuable to him,

ever so pretty

(In that yellow ribbon of hers?)

Ohnononopleasedon'tremindme–

"What are you writing, Yugi?"

"Eep! Oh, uh... Look, Anzu, d–don't judge me or anything, it's for… erm… a friend?"

"Ohhh, a poem! I didn't know you wrote! May I see it?"

godwe'rejustfriendshonestbright, so pleasedon'tkillMihoafteryoureadit–

"Does everyone have a partner?"

"Does everyone have a partner?"

Far too late, the brunette realizes that he, in fact, doesn't have a partner, because Jounouchi's over yelling at Kaiba for some weird reason, and Yugi appears to be going bright red as Anzu reads something he's written. Honda sits by himself, praying that there'll be some nice left over who will leave him alone as he eyes up Miho Nosaka, so beautiful when she's working alone, just as she is now, her pencil scribbling–

–she's alone.

"Honda, could you please sit next to Miho?"

He hears the words as though he is stuck in a dream, or perhaps he is stuck underwater; either way, they are booming and unclear (though the latter simile fits best, he decides, because he suddenly finds himself unable to breathe). He tries to get up, but his limbs are moving agonizingly slowly, not keeping up with his brain; so he wobbles–

–"Are you okay?"

He couldn't be better, couldn't be worse; because Miho Nosaka is touching him, her hand taking his elbow in an effort to stabilize the boy. And so Hiroto Honda absolutely gawks, staring lifelessly at her until she slowly drops her arm back to her side, placing her books on his desk. "I… I'm really sorry if I hurt y–"

"N– no, no, it's fine!", Honda hears himself babble, though he's not really paying much attention to what he's saying right now. Miho helped him, just like that – so she's either even more selfless than the brunette thought, or she's already in love with him, and both options are very appealing to Honda right at this moment. She's so beautiful; it doesn't even matter what she's saying to him now as she sits across the desk from him, because she's so lovely when in motion, and the memory now stored is well worth a few missed words–

"I'll have a cheeseburger."

–and God, she's so pretty and WAIT WHAT WHAT

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY

ERROR ERROR ERROR

CODE THINGY THING

INSERT RANDOM COLOUR HERE

EVASIVE ACTION IN

3

-4

loge11

12439

ERROR ERROR ERROR

COUNT FAIL

"Wait, is this a... did you... just… I mean–"

"Um. It's the title I'd like you to give your story – you can use it for the first line, too. I don't know, it's probably not very good... but..."

He holds up both hands in a placating gesture, even though Miho hardly needs placating at this point; her voice is high with worry, shaky with nerves, and trails off a little towards the end. "Oh no, no, no, it's absolutely fine! Honest!"

"Sure? I – I mean... I could try and think of something else, but..."

She's staring at the table in an obvious show of embarrassment, her cute little fringe hiding her oh–so–adorable eyes – and her admirer feels absolutely horrible for being so earnest, for assuming something so dreadful of this lady so pure. He's a fool who never learns, it's not like he hasn't done this before; ah, he's nothing but a walking joke that no–one's laughing at, constantly punished by Life – he's an idiot, even worse than Jounouchi, a first–degree buffoon! She couldn't possibly ever like someone like him, especially not after thi–

"And… Have you decided on my title yet? It can be anything…"

"Erm..."

Oh, she's so forgiving; the action completely throws her partner off balance, even though he should have expected something like this. Honda's mind is screaming at him every single thing anyone's ever told him about girls and what they like and what they don't, terror setting in as soon as he realizes that she's noticed his hesitation, the silence going awkward. His thoughts race dangerously, like really fast cars (probably Kaiba Corp–cars), their diamante engines howling as they battle on a gemstone–studded race track positioned on the edge of a cliff–

'Quick, think of something cool!', shrieks his hormone–charged brain, pretending to be some guy called 'Instinct'.'Something sexy!'

'But what?', he replies, utterly aware that he is talking to himself and not caring a bit.

'Something... like...'

"I'll have a roaring good honk!"

And then he realizes what he just said out loud – holey moley, someone call damage control! God, he's never going to be able to live this down; though thankfully the other kids don't seem to have heard , he can only imagine how embarrassed she must be by such an ungentlemanly act; yet he is paralyzed himself with shame. Unable to correct himself, unable to tear his eyes away from her, Honda may only watch helplessly, as Miho's gorgeous little face–

–lights up?

"'A Roaring Good Honk'? Hey, that sounds like fun!"

The pencil scribbles again, and he admires the way her slender fingers curve around it, poised to give the best grip imaginable; now that he is closer, he can see how beautiful her cursive handwriting is. She is a fast writer; ideas seem to flow from her far faster than Honda's own ideas regarding the cheeseburgers of the title she gave him. He watches her carefully for some time, trying not to drool at how wonderfully productive and disciplined she is, as she works hard on the piece now bearing the proud header of 'A Roaring Good–"

–wait, so she liked that title?

"Oh! Um... Do you like it?"

"Yeah! I can think of something really good for that!"

.

And the whole world stops dead, because

She.

Liked.

His.

Title

.

shetitlelikedhistitlelikedshehislikedtitlesheshesh elikedlikedtitlelikedhishishishIStITLEmelikedme

ERROR ERROR ERROR...

And then the world basically explodes, and bits of Honda's brain go everywhere – uh, metaphorically, if something can metaphorically go everywhere. When he comes to, he figures that his zombie like stare must have given Miho Nosaka another idea, because now she's smiling a little as she works, and far from feeling embarrassed at nearly fainting on the spot, he...

...Awwww, what a cute little smile.

"Now, just before the bell goes – has anyone written anything they would like to share?"

"So Miho, how much did you wri– wow! Haha, nice title!"

"Hariyama, will you put a sock in i–"

"Miss! Miss!"

"Miss!"

"Yes?"

"Miho's written eight pages!"

"Let me see."

"D–don't let her see it…"

"Oh… Didn't you like it?"

"I… It's just that the title… I haven't read it yet, but…"

"Is something wrong with it? I thought it was good…"

"I know, but I… I…"

.

"Miho, do you mind if I read this out to the class?"

"Oh - um, well, if you would like to, then it's... fine, Miss."

"N-no it isn't!"

"A Roaring Good Honk, by Miho Nosaka."

.

.

.

...Dear God, she actually used my title...

A Roaring Good Honk

By Miho Nosaka

It all started with a boom, a lowercase boom, a boom dull and muffled, a nearly – silent explosion in a cold and timeless space. This was creation, and it had rules; it sounded in a distinct and repetitive pattern, an ostinato of crashing chords, the dissonant tones of an accompanist who is neither talented nor practiced at a keyboard.

The piece was still a good thing, mostly because there wasn't much else to compare it to at the time; but it wasn't anywhere near as impressive as humanity had made it out to be, those Beethovens of science, shouting praises to the great symphony that was The Universe. To be honest, it was utterly underwhelming; mistake piling on mistake in what could only be described as 'organized chaos', in the sense of a hundred screaming blindfolded kids running in a small room, yet told to run and being supervised by a single teacher. It was horrible, a barbarian trying to play a Mozart concerto – though thankfully, there was just enough of the original ethereal melody to get the general idea across.

And then, the main attraction – matter! Ah, the life and soul of the universe, that first proton speeding out with that first, glorious note of the melody of life itself–

HONK.

Okay, so it was a bit of a wonky proton, but who cared? This was an arty sort of proton, a hipster of sorts – it appeared to be an individual, sitting all alone and out of place by itself – but closer inspection revealed it to be utterly insignificant when you considered the size of the storm raging about it. Much like the hipster, it was very loud, a highly vocal minority – the fine and magnificent burst of a trombone fanfare cut through the crescendo of the keyboard, as it went–

HONK, HONK, HONK–

–and reality came flying back with a–

.

.

.

–boom.

What...

What am I doing?

The soloist lowers the trombone in a state of shock, the keyboard playing on without him – the velociraptor's little pink tongue sticking out of her perfectly formed mouth as she pokes at the piano with a single claw on each hand, her Triceratops friend beside her swearing copiously as he labours to get more notes into the composition. It doesn't take long for them to hesitate when they realize that the one thing that can possibly sound worse than them at this point is, in fact, not sounding. And so the universe comes to a grinding halt without the proton there...

There is a horrible, horrible silence. The soloist stands, eyes wide for a moment, tail as stiff as a headboard; feeling very displaced. He doesn't belong on this bizarre stage, creaking under his enormous weight, his big talons putting four–inch deep gashes in the stage whenever he moves.

And then, the booing comes; a tomato lands on his nose, and without thinking he eats it; then realizes that he just ate a vegetable – how disgusting!

"That... That was just a test run", he stalls; but the judges are already shaking their heads. The Tyrannosaurus Rex shivers and shudders, a sight hilarious to anyone not within stomping or eating range, and terrifying to everyone else.

Then he sees her, standing in the crowd; a blue–feathered Archaeopteryx, cheering him on. She's looking up at him, she's smiling as best she can with that beak, and clapping as best as her proto–wings will allow...

So, 'A Roaring Good Honk' turned out to be about a Tyrannosaurus Rex playing a trombone, then basically talking about his Archaeopteryx girlfriend for the next seven pages. The conclusion wasn't there, but Honda figured that it was pretty obvious - the T-Rex would win the contest, happy endings all round. Honda's disappointed, yet somehow strangely happy about that; this way, everyone's pride is kept safe, which is more than can be said about the whole love puzzle incident. And besides, he supposes, it's the thought that counts – even if he had been subconsciously hoping that she would write something embarrassing, she did write him something, at least. And she was happy while she was writing it, so it was all good.

Maybe, someday, she'll write him something else. A sonnet, perhaps - it's the man's job to write sonnets, according to Shakespeare anyway, but who cares? Yes, someday, she'll write him a sonnet as a confirmation of her love, if she loves him.

Someday...

The bell goes for lunch, so Honda packs his things and walks out of the classroom, not noticing the single page of manuscript that Miho has kept hidden in her lap the whole time. Smiling, she reads it over as he leaves, just once.

Once is all she needs.

She's looking up at him, she's smiling as best she can with that beak...

...and that's when the big dinosaur realizes – he doesn't need to keep trying to impress her, no matter how different the two of them are, no matter that she turned him down just this once. She loves him, and she's hoping that he'll succeed, that he'll leap for his goal and–

–and he plays, without measure or practice or technique, his accompanists struggling to keep up as he coaxes sounds divine from that trombone, as he plays and plays to his heart's content, as he honks out the theme song of Jurassic Park just for.

"That was a roaring good honk!", one of the judges yells amidst the cheering, but the Tyrannosaurus Rex merely tosses his trombone at its head, then dives headlong into the crowd, flattening several smaller dinosaurs as he moves to embrace his love. His enormous head bobs awkwardly, as he towers over her for a moment; she simply flutters on to his shoulder, nuzzling and nibbling on his neck.

"Something you wanted to say?"

"Er... uh... well, I..."

He's not gonna be able to say it, he realizes; she's just so gorgeous and he's so ugly, his tail's too thick and his teeth aren't really long enough and-

-well, why would she even care about his tail or his teeth, because they're nothing alike. Even his nicer aspects, she'd be unable to appreciate. He's not a suitor; and she turned him down once-

"If there's a question... Please, be brave."

A long silence, because all the other dinosaurs fled the room following the Tyannosaurus's mad charge. He sweats and shudders and winces a few times, then... then...

"Will you go out with me?"

She wraps her protowings as far as they will go around his neck, whispering softly as she gives him a literal peck on the cheek:

"All you had to do was ask again."

But maybe, someday, Honda will ask again too...

and some part of Miho hopes he will, because

all he needs to do to get her is ask

and when she thinks

about that, she

smiles because

someday...

UAB

– Okay, so who followed that? Ahhhh, the good ol' confusing feeling that rises from speedfics. Still, at least no-one was horribly butchered, which is more than I can say for the test run of Time's a Trial…

– The second handicap for this one was Two Things I Wanna Say – 'The story has to include two things, which in the spirit of the handicaps system all begin with T' – and I drew the Tyrannosaurus and the trombone off the word–list I had prepared.

– The title of this fic is more like 'T–Wrecked' or 'Someday' or even 'Four Love Poems Yugi Never Got To Finish', but at the end of the day, the story's very fractured, told from various viewpoints. Since Miho's story is probably the one part of the story where the formatting is relatively normal (even if the content is a long way from that), and to an extent the conflict of the 'outer' story revolves around the 'inner', the whole piece got named after the title of Miho's story, which is at the same time both the problem and the solution. Metaaaaa!

– Some names are a little odd – it's Katsuya is as in Katsuya Jounouchi, and Hariyama is the main villain of the Virtual Pets manga story.

– "Oh yeah?! I'd like to see YOU take down Cho–" 'Cho–' is a reference to 'Chopman', who nearly killed Jounouchi during Death-T, whilst under Kaiba's orders. This indicates that the story is set after Death-T, but before Monster World, if you're going to get picky about it.

– Yugi's groan over the 'yellow ribbon' Yami Yugi mentions is a reference to Yugi's earlier work for Honda:

Dear Ribbon,

You look so pretty in your yellow ribbon.

I love you more than anything in the universe.

- Hiroto Honda.

Which is pretty darn cliched, if you don't mind me saying.