Disclaimer: Shiningheart of ThunderClan doesn't own One Piece.

How had it come to this? Here he was, a fully grown 26 year old man, a pirate for God's sake, spying on the two female members of the Straw Hats. Well, he wasn't really spying, but he was part of the spying group. Law felt his eye twitch as the men around him tried to once again decide which of the girls was more attractive.

Sanji, though he remained of the opinion that both women were nothing less than goddesses in human form, said Nami was prettier. Law thought it was just because the navigator showed more skin than the archaeologist. Luffy, surprisingly, agreed with him. The captain, when questioned, had merely shrugged and said her eyes were warmer, whatever the hell that meant.

Franky and Usopp, however, disagreed. While Nami was indeed pretty, Robin had that mysterious sexy aura that they liked more. She rarely wore her emotions on her face, leaving everyone wondering might be running through her mind. Zoro had disappeared directly after lunch, when this conversation first started. Chopper was too young to have a viable opinion, not to mention he wasn't even human. Brook just said he'd like to see both of their panties.

It wasn't exactly like there were being subtle about it either. The girls were sun-bathing near the starboard railing, both dressed in two-piece bathing suits that left barely anything to the imagination and reading. The boys were gathered on the port side of the Thousand Sunny's deck, not even trying to keep their voices down. Honestly, Law half-wondered how the girls hadn't heard them by now and done something about it. He just dreaded when the perverts would ask him- "What do you think Traffy?" - Aaaaaand there it goes. God dammit Luffy...

The guest Heart Pirate sighed heavily, pondering just ignoring them and just continuing to watch the ocean. While he loved his submarine dearly and wouldn't trade it for the world, he had to admit that sometimes he missed being able to look out the windows whenever he wanted and seeing that edge where sea and sky met and blended together.

But, as much as he didn't care and really didn't want to answer, the entire group wouldn't stop pestering him until he did give his opinion. His was the tie breaker: two votes for Nami, two votes for Robin. They wouldn't leave him alone when he hadn't spoken up yet.

Without turning away from watching the scenery, he said, "They're both beautiful in their own ways, but never more so when they stand beside each other." He could almost feel the question marks hovering over their heads. So Law finally turned around and leaned against the railing, looking at the two females in question. for the first time since this ridiculous debate started.

He first pointed at Nami and said, "As Straw Hat stated, Miss Nami has a warmer feel to her. This could be because she's so in tune with her emotions, but I have a different theory. She just has a warmer look to her. Hair as vibrant and fiery as the sun, skin tanned to a perfect golden brown, and eyes that sparkle when she's happy and fill with fire when she's mad."

He switched his attention to Robin and gestured with his hand at her. "Miss Robin, however, is on the opposite side of the spectrum. Her hair is as dark and beautiful as the sky on a moonless night, with eyes that glitter like the stars and skin that gleams brighter than the moon itself."

He paused in talking, waiting to see if any of them had something to add. But the group was silent, the only sounds on the deck being the flipping of pages across the way. The gathered Straw Hat men stared at him quietly, eyes wide as they took in his pretty words. Law concluded with a satisfied nod of his head. "So yes, while both are exceedingly attractive, they're more appealing together than separate. You could even go as far as to say they complete each other."

The first to break the silence was Franky. "Wow, Traffy... That was..." Law raised an eyebrow, expecting praise and perhaps an awkward 'super' dance. "That was... super lame."

A dark scowl overcame his face as the children dissolved into laughter. Usopp choked out in his humor, "Y-you sound like a girl, Traffy! Do you read romance novels in your spare time or something?!" Whack. Law bashed the sniper on the top of his head, crumbling him to the floor. This just furthered everyone else in their hysteria.

The Surgeon of Death growled and stomped away from them, towards the girl. Nami looked up when his shadow cast over her. "May I join you two? Your shipmates are being obnoxious morons." Even when pissed off, he remained polite to the women. Gotta give him credit for that, at the very least.

Nami laughed slightly and nodded. "Ah, I know how that feels. Sure, have a seat if you want!" Law inclined his head in gratitude and settled down on the ground between their chairs, leaning up against the railing post with his nodachi on his shoulder. "So, what was the laughter about? Usually if Usopp and Luffy are laughing like that, someone else is going to get pissed soon."

He hesitated, not entirely sure whether telling her would be a good idea or not. Nami had a frightful temper and wasn't afraid of bludgeoning him if she was even slightly displeased. Before he could make a decision, Robin spoke up without looking up from her book. "Just a debate between friends." She looked up at him then with a rare mischievous smile. "So, Captain Trafalgar, do my eyes really glitter like stars?" Oh, God dammit Luffy...