Fifty Shades of Redemption

A/N: Well I'm just saying I shouldn't be having new Fanfiction ideas when I'm horrible with updating. But I'm finishing up final edits for my book then I think I'm going to be updating once a week.

I hope you enjoy this new story. Reviews are very welcome. I love you guys. Thanks for reading.

The pounding in her head intensified as Ana opened her eyes to face the light that was shining through the room. Looking around, she couldn't remember how she'd gotten here, or what had happened after she'd fallen, all she could remember was the throbbing of her head, and the pain she felt in her stomach with each painfully dreadful kick that Jack applied to her.

The last thing she remembered before the blackness captured her was Christian showing up to save her. In spite of their ongoing fight over the week, she knew he'd always be her savior. And for that she'd always love him.

"Mrs. Grey?"

Turning her head, she was faced with a skinny, blonde nurse who was writing something down on a piece of paper. She looked genuinely concerned as she gave Ana a sympathy smile.

"Where is he? Where's Christian?"

The nurse pointed to the other side of her, at the end of the bed. She felt tears appear in her eyes as she turned her head right to where Christian sat in a chair next to her bed, his head gently laid on her bed. He was snoring softly, he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. She wanted so badly to wake him, to hear his voice tell her that everything would be okay. That Mia was okay, after all everything she'd done was to save Christian's sister, but he just looked so tired that she couldn't bear to wake him, instead she gently placed a hand on his head and ran it through his hair.

"Ana." He whispered softly in disbelief once their eyes met. He looked remorseful, scared, and in need of someone to hold and comfort him. It broke Ana's heart to see him that way.

"Hi."

"I'm going to go let your doctor know that you're awake." The nurse stated with a smile. "Is there anything I can get you in the meantime?"

"I'm thirsty."

"I'll get you some water."

"You scared the hell out of me, Ana. I thought… I thought.." He couldn't even get the rest of the sentence out before he was sobbing in her arms.

"I'm okay, Christian."

"What were you thinking? I… Why didn't you come to me?"

"They said they'd kill her. God, Christian please tell me she's alright, please tell me that everything that I've done was worth it."

"She's fine. A little shaken up, but Ana because of you my sister is alive and I don't even know how to thank you. I've been so horrible to you these past few days, and I'm sorry. I hate myself for being so cold, and distant, and then I came so close to losing you and it scared me. I saw you laying on the ground, and my mind reverted to the worst possible thing. And I panicked. I thought I'd never get the chance to make it up. I'm sorry, I'm so beyond sorry that I've hurt you. I didn't want that. You're my wife, and I never want to hurt you, I was so angry, I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much."

"I love you Christian. I learned a long time ago that you only ever want to protect and keep me happy. I'm not mad at you anymore, I was hurt. I love you more than anything though, and I'm never going anywhere, it's you and me. And our baby."

Christian felt his heart sink deeper with the last sentence. When she was first rushed into the emergency room, the doctors had told him the baby hadn't made it, but he had no idea how he was supposed to tell that to his wife.

From the start, he knew Ana loved the baby more than anything. He could read it all over her face. She was too kind, loving, and generous to not love the tiny life that was growing inside her. It's one of things that made him love her so completely. She always gave way more than she ever asked for.

"Christian?"

She looked up at his fearful eyes, and knew something wasn't right. Maybe he was still afraid of becoming a father, she wasn't sure. She did know though, that whatever his next words would be, she wouldn't like them.

"You still don't want our baby, do you?"

"Sweetheart, it's not that. I have to tell you something."

Fear struck her mind as she watched Christian speak. Another tear rolled down his cheek, his grip on her hand grew tighter and she knew whatever it was, it would crush her.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry for everything. I am so sorry that I've caused all of this. I just…"

"What's wrong?"

"It's the baby. You miscarried. The kicks Jack applied were just too severe and the baby, I'm sorry. I know how much you loved it. I know that."

"No.. Christian stop. Why would you say something like that? Are you trying to hurt me?"

"Baby, no. I'm not. I wouldn't lie to you about this. I'm really sorry, Ana. I wish that I could tell you our baby was okay, I wish I could give you the family we were about to have, but our baby doesn't exist anymore."

Her heart sank deeper in her chest as the sobs came rushing out. The baby was gone, she'd killed her baby by her own stupidity. Why hadn't she just chosen to tell Christian everything? He had experienced men right? They could have saved Mia.

No. She couldn't bring herself to regret the decision that she made. She wouldn't regret saving Mia's life, even if it cost her the life of her unborn child.

"Ana, please talk to me."

"It hurts. I know we didn't plan this, but I loved our baby."

"I know. I know, and I wish I could take your pain away, I wish that there was somehow someway that I could bring him back to you. To us. I'm sorry, Ana. I'm so sorry."

"Are you? I mean, let's be honest here, Christian, you didn't want our baby. You didn't want to be a father."

Well that hurt. Christian knew deep down, she was only trying to deal with her own grief, but that was his baby too, and despite the horrible way he'd acted, he was starting to see his life with Ana and a baby. He wouldn't have wished this on Ana. He didn't want the baby to just disappear, he just hadn't known how to handle being a father.

"I was a bastard, I won't deny that. You deserved better than how I've treated you, Anastasia, but don't accuse me of wanting it to end like this. I didn't want our baby to just disappear. I'll admit, I made mistakes, I hurt you. This is all on me, but I was starting to see us as a family, Ana. It was never about me not wanting a baby, it was about me not being good enough for a baby, not being a good father. You know past, how could I possibly be a good parent? This was about me, not you or the baby. I didn't want this to happen, I would give anything to prevent this."

"I'm sorry. I just, I'm sorry."

"Do you still love me?"

She gave him a small nod. It was just impossible to stop loving a man like Christian Grey. "More than anything."

"We'll get through this, okay? I promise. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make everything okay, to make you happy."

"Where's Jack?" Ana questioned him with curiosity.

"In the hospital here somewhere. After I saw you laying on the ground, I was angry, given he already had the bullet you put in him, I beat the shit out of him. If it wasn't for Taylor, he'd probably be dead. I thought he killed you, and I snapped."

"I'm sorry for everything, for not telling you, for thinking I could handle this on my own. I'm so sorry." She cried

"Shh. It's over now. I love you, you love me. Forget Jack. He's going to end up in the cage he belongs in. Don't worry okay? No one is ever going to hurt you again. I promise you that."

Ana closed her eyes and laid her head on Christian's chest after he climbed in beside her. She knew it was going to be a while before everything would be okay. Her baby was gone, and she didn't understand why this happened. It hurt, she knew that much. In spite of that though, she had Christian by her side, and though he'd not been thrilled about the baby, she believed him when he said he never wanted this. As long as she had him by her side, she knew she'd be just fine.