Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the characters of his universe, I just play in that sandbox for fun and without pay or any form of remuneration other than reviews and private messages; which are fortunately non-taxable.
AN: More chapter goodness. Time to go off the yellow brick road of canon, shake canon for change, and then pick its pocket for extra loot and XP. Yes, you read that right, it's time for Harry to enter the seedier side of life, well, with a brief stop to bust a friend out of jail. It's not perfect, no beta reader since I've not published in so long, so send me a pm if you see a story breaking typo or transcription. Still, I've tried, so I hope you enjoy.
'Thoughts are in italics'
"Things Said, or Things Written"
Chapter 13: New Starts, And Newish Friends
"You and I are more than friends, we are like a really small criminal gang." ~unknown
The world outside the window of Madam Malkin's seemed to freeze in time and the view turned to grayscale as the Level Up Menu screen appeared before Harry's eyes.
"Oh goodie goodie, like treacle tart for this wizard's soul, let's see what new buffs I can get today." Harry smiled to himself as his eyes ghosted over the chart of his stats and available skills.
Level 10:
CURRENT EXP: 25000 TOTAL EXP NEEDED FOR NEXT LEVEL: 35000
Health: 24/24
Magic: 460/460
Stamina: 100/100
ABILITIES: Ability points to be allocated: 4
Strength: 32
Dexterity: 20
Constitution: 8
Intelligence: 24
Wisdom: 11
Charisma: 32 +(2)
Harry continued to smile at his rather substantial level of points, and his intelligence reminded him that a lot of his growth had come from finding skill books; 'Mental note, since I restarted the Alley again, before the problems with the goblins I might add, I have to make sure to grab the easy exploration XP from exploring the alley again for this reload, and then I'll have to see if I can raid Flourish & Blotts' as soon as possible.' Harry finished his perusal with a thought. However when he got to his skill list, his smile dropped.
"Well geld Padfoot and call him a poodle, looks like I'll have to start spending some skill points." Harry grumbled as he read the next portion of his level up screen.
SKILLS: Skill Points to Allocate:103 (Warning, approaching Available Skill Point Limit cap of 125, use skill points or lose them if you acquire over 125 points*)
Armor Wearing: 12
Barter: 100
Bulgarian Language: 25
Care of Magical Creatures: 20
Charms: 13 +(5)
Criminal Contacts: 1
Dancing: 4
Dual-Wielding: 25
French language: 34
Flirting: 56
German Language: 25
Herbology: 74
Lock-Picking: 32
Magical Transportation: 6
Muggle Subjects: 100
Parseltongue Language: 100
Pick-pocket: 26
Potioneering: 10
Ranged: 100
Russian Language: 25
Silent Takedown: 100
Sneak: 100
Two-Handed: 8
Unarmed: 10
"Hmmm, let's not be hasty." Harry said to himself, tapping his chin with this finger in thought.
"Leveling up a skill is substantially easier at the lower levels, so I'm not going to just throw points at something to get it up to 100 unless I need it…" He paused, then continued as thoughts trickled through his head about the different options available. "I could also think about leveling the skills that are close to 100 to their max so I get their perk, but looking at this list, only Herbology is close enough to where I wouldn't have to throw several levels worth of skill points at it to get it up to max skill. Then again, some of these skills are downright painful to level up." Harry got lost in memories of fire breathing rats and other ways that he had leveled up his armor and fighting skills.
Harry stopped, and then blinked, before shaking his head and then giving his forehead a whack with the palm of his hand, 'Hmmm, talking to myself is getting to be a problem, must remember to inner monologue, or better yet, get some real human interaction.' Harry thought with a mental cringe.
"Well, let's get the stats set in place and then move on, Hmmm, magic is more important than ever and I'm really squishy when it comes to fighting those aurors. I think I'll have to spend some points on constitution and wisdom." Narrating to himself, he followed suit with action by pressing the constitution section once, the wisdom button once, and intelligence twice; also giving himself another skill point to allocate.
Level 10:
CURRENT EXP: 25000 TOTAL; EXP NEEDED FOR NEXT LEVEL: 35000
Health: 24/24
Magic: 480/480
Stamina: 100/100
ABILITIES: Ability points to be allocated: 0
Strength: 32
Dexterity: 20
Constitution: 9
Intelligence: 26
Wisdom: 12
Charisma: 32 +(2)
SKILLS: Skill Points to Allocate: 104 (Warning, approaching Available Skill Point Limit cap of 125, use skill points or lose them if you acquire over 125 points*)
Armor Wearing: 12
Barter: 100
Bulgarian Language: 25
Care of Magical Creatures: 20
Charms: 13 +(5)
Criminal Contacts: 1
Dancing: 4
Dual-Wielding: 25
French language: 34
Flirting: 56
German Language: 25
Herbology: 74
Lock-Picking: 32
Magical Transportation: 6
Muggle Subjects: 100
Parseltongue Language: 100
Pick-pocket: 26
Potioneering: 10
Ranged: 100
Russian Language: 25
Silent Takedown: 100
Sneak: 100
Two-Handed: 8
Unarmed: 10
Harry noticed that his health was back to full due to acquiring the needed experience points to reach level 10, but it had really been only a matter of minutes ago where he had been bleeding and down by more than half his health, and that was including the help of the terribly frightening Mr. Tibbles.
Harry paused, chewed his lip for a minute, and then mashed the button for Armor Wearing, "Here's hoping this helps me soak up some damage." Harry dumped 38 Skill Points into Armor Wearing, bringing it up to a total of 50. His total skill points left to be allocated dropped back to 66, but at least the notification that he was in danger of accumulating too many points and losing them disappeared when he went under 100 available skill points.
SKILLS: Skill Points to Allocate:66
Armor Wearing: 50
Barter: 100
Bulgarian Language: 25
Care of Magical Creatures: 20
Charms: 13 +(5)
Criminal Contacts: 1
Dancing: 4
Dual-Wielding: 25
French language: 34
Flirting: 56
German Language: 25
Herbology: 74
Lock-Picking: 32
Magical Transportation: 6
Muggle Subjects: 100
Parseltongue Language: 100
Pick-pocket: 26
Potioneering: 10
Ranged: 100
Russian Language: 25
Silent Takedown: 100
Sneak: 100
Two-Handed: 8
Unarmed: 10
Harry pulled up his inventory, and took a look at his armor to find that the durability of the armor had almost doubled and that his hooligan clothes had gained a bonus stat of "25% reduction to damage caused by knives, broken bottles, and pissed-as-a-fart soccer hooligans," while his total defense had risen to a whopping 30 points; which was 5 points he gained from wearing the Hogwarts robes top along with his hooligan pants, boots, and t-shirt, and he gained one point to actual armor for every two points allocated to his Armor Wearing skill.
Sure, the armor only muted the physical aspects of attacks like cutting, bludgeoning, impalement, piercing, impact damage, and would probably mute the effects of elemental attacks like fire, that said it wouldn't do much to impede a swift kick to the nuts, but at least it was something. Harry was tempted to drop the rest of the points into Armor Wearing and get his total armor up to 55, while wearing the Hogwarts robes and other clothes, but he was smart enough to realize that he may need the points to meet the requirements for learning other spells or equipping items.
"I think I'm getting the hang of this." Harry said with a smile as he panned down the screen until he hit his existing and potential perks.
EQUIPPED PERKS: Perk Points Available: 1
Comprehending The Incomprehensible.
Arrr, Yer a Pirate!
Accidental Magic
I Have The Power
It's an Adventurer's Life
Are You Threatening Me?!
Ninja Vanish!
The Call of Cthu-Tibbles
Run-Away!
Me Tarzan, You Jane
Silver Tongued Devil
Studiously Studying Student
Wiser is the Miser
The Cunning Linguist
The Merchant of Surrey
Multi-Classing (Thief)
Silky Slytherin Locks of Love
"Dodge This!"
"It Was An Accident!"
Harry scrolled past his already chosen perks, then through the available Perks that he either hadn't chosen previously, or which had just appeared. Harry mumbled to himself as he read over the list.
"Hair Like Snape, hell no, Lemon-Drop Addiction, not if you paid me, hmmm, A Black Gene has that nice perk of spell points to dark magic and opens up the metamorph chain by allowing me to change my hair color and length once a day, but adds extra impetus to the inbred hillbillies of Malfoy Manor wanting to stick a wand up my arse and cast expelliarmus, in short, no."
Harry continued to read over the items, refreshing his memory about what each of the options did as he quickly ruled out the next two, one being the Summer Job that would give him a measly 100 Pounds muggle money every summer, and the other that opened up the Creature Harry options but made him kind of a mutant, so that was a no to Creature Comfort as well.
Harry stopped and reread the description for the Perk, There are some who call me – Tim. "Back in the depths of time, during the reign of King Arthur and his Knights of Camelot lived a wizard devoted to the wielding of all things fire magic, and this mighty mage's name was—Tim. This perk becomes available after choosing "Are You Threatening Me?!" and is the next step in gaining true mastery over fire based magic. By becoming the heir to the great wizard Tim you gain the ability to launch Fireballs from your magical foci and immolate your foes with the Flaming Pillars of Fire; the capital letters are important to note. Perk power requires a wand or magical foci. By choosing this spell you gain the "Fireball" and "Pillar of Fire" spells which are special to this perk; also all fire related spells take half the magic they normally would to cast or overpower."
"Grrrrr, so tempting, but I don't have a fucking wand yet, stupid bloody Ollivander and his stupid bloody lightning wards." Harry growled to himself, he could almost see himself wielding his wand now, fireballs blasting Auror's left and right, a Flaming Pillar of Fire taking out the Goblin Guards and so much experience and loot rolling in… Harry shook himself and stopped his daydream.
"Hold it together Harry. No sense going all Dobby on a sock convention, you really need to get interacting with somebody. You really need a friend." Harry stopped, and blinked, and then glared through the Level Up screen before him and out to the street, where not a hundred paces beyond the glass of Madame Makin's stood the Owl Emporium. "I'll get you out of there Hedwig, I promise." Harry swore to himself before scowling. He now had a new goal, and he wasn't going to let himself get distracted.
Harry quickly scrolled past" Dog-gone'it, People like me", "He's got that Kung-Fu grip", and "You're a dark son of a bitch" until he came to the two new available Perks that had arrived with the level 10 upgrade.
Harry read the detailed description of the perk titled, A Terrifying Terrorist. "Start the path to a dark lord and instigating your reign of terror, well at least an amateur one. All of your followers or party members gain an automatic +10 to their Potioneering skill while you gain +25 Potioneering skill points and learn the "Bomber's" explosive potion recipe; a volatile potion involving massive amounts of Erumpent fluid distilled into an itty-bitty living space. The potion contains phenomenal not so cosmic explosive power that is known to suddenly explode when bumped, jarred, thrown, looked at with anything other than worship, or on days ending in Y. Warning, may cause side effects of death, or suffering from premature detonation."
"No doubt invented by the famous wizard Nope, from the land of not-in-your-wildest-dreams." Harry shook his head and read the last available Perk on his list, hoping that it was better than the others available.
"Did I do that?" The Perk was called, and while the description was a bit insulting, as usual, it was probably what he was going to select as he read over the description twice to make sure he fully understood what it was saying.
"Did I do that? Worried about the authorities casting Priori Incantatem on your wand? The Aurors can kiss your prepubescent arse, because you're using wandless magic, and nobody is going to be able to find a record of your previously cast spells. Yes, the real first step towards plausible deniability while using magic. You've unlocked your Accidental Magic, and increased its severity with It Was An Accident, now you finally get to decide how to use it. We'll make this as simple as possible, and use small words because we know you need it: you can now purposefully cast some spells without a wand, but it will use +200% of the magic that it would normally take if you were using a wand. This perk also decreases the amount of accidental magic that happens in your presence. Please note that just because you can cast spells without a wand it doesn't mean you should; elemental magic, or magic that has a physical effect not granted by a special perk may be deleterious to your own health as well as that of your target when cast without a foci or wand."
"Done!" Harry quickly clicked the button to spend his available Perk Point on purchasing the Did I Do That? Perk, and felt his body tingle for a brief moment.
With a shiver, Harry hit the close button on his menu, and the world blared back to full color and movement.
The world swam back into focus, and Harry took a moment to really look around the shop of Madame Malkin's as the last remaining red robed Aurors left the store and headed back out into the alley.
Animated mannequins rotated and posed themselves in conservative dress robes in the windows, while racks of standard black robes were mixed throughout the store, with different displays of fabrics being the primary distinguishing element of the clothing. Most of the racks were empty, with signs saying "Coming Soon!" or "Not Available Till Level 20." That said, black robes weren't the only thing for sale, there were a couple pairs of gloves that could be purchased in both chameleon fabric as well as leather, and there was a small room off the back near the tailoring mirrors which showed a floating sign that was labeled "Dress Robes for All Sizes, DLC available for 10,000 Galleons" and in small print beneath the first sign was a second floating sign that advertised the "Whopper's Brand Extra Large Robes."
"What in the bloody hell is a DLC?" Harry asked as he walked up to the sign, where he saw a button that appeared to float in the air before the sign that didn't appear until he was closer. Pressing the button, a text box appeared before him.
"Dress robes! Impress your friends and make people think you are special because you have more money than they do, so much that you can buy clothing that has no purpose other than to make you look good. That's right! Dress robes, 0 armor, purely cosmetic outfits to bling out your drab existence. Buy Now! Cost: 10,000 Galleons. Do you want to purchase: Yes or No?"
Harry mashed the No button as hard as he could while cursing out the programmers, "Umbridge's crotchless kitten panties, hell no! I've got better things to do with my hard fought money than enriching you arsewipe programmers. Go pound sand you sock humpers!" Harry said with a huff as he read over the sign a second time now that the text box that had floated before him disappeared.
Harry breathed in, and then out again to cool his temper, focusing on the words of the sign as to stop getting stressed by the actions of the programmers that liked to play with his life. It was the third time he read the word about "Whoppers Brand Extra Large Robes" that he got an idea.
"Intelligence check passed!" Flashed in the corner of his screen, but Harry ignored it as he quickly wheeled around towards the racks of Hogwarts robes.
Walking up to the clothing racks, Harry sorted through the robes, and noted that as he looked at them the tags on the outfits showed the stats. There was a +1 cotton Basic Hogwarts Student Robe, similar to what Harry was currently wearing, that granted no benefits, but there were also another set of robes labeled, "Basic Hogwarts Student Robe-Silk" which was, as the label stated, made from silk and added an additional +1 to Charisma and Flirting, a side note suggested wearing it without underwear in order to enjoy a tingly feeling, but Harry was focusing on the bonus stats that came with the clothing in addition to its armor count.
For one second, Harry contemplated stealing the silk robe, but a quick glance around showed him that a shop assistant, one whom he'd not noticed before, was standing behind the register but clearly focusing her attention on Harry and blushing after some of the things Harry had said when he didn't realize he had an audience.
Harry gave her a tentative smile, "I'm, uh, just going to go try these on, ok?"
The girl looked at Harry, before her eyes clearly moved up to look at the scar on his forehead, and then she blushed dark red before silently nodding that it was ok.
"Ding! Plus one reputation point with Teen Witches! Status stays at "Stalker-Worthy Celebrity!"
Harry grabbed the one silk robe, and then paused, before biting his lip and grabbing a second Standard Hogwarts' Robe-Silk that was in a Whoppers brand larger size than what he normally wore.
"If this works." Harry mumbled to himself as he climbed into the changing room.
Immediately two windows appeared before Harry showing images of Harry with his current garb and a picture next to it with a picture of what Harry would look like if he wore the silk robe, asking if he wanted to compare his robes, purchase the robes, or purchase and equip.
"Compare." Harry clicked the first button, only to feel the sensation of silk around the collar of his neck and his forearms where his shirt didn't cover his skin from contact with the robe.
"Hmmm, Let's try this out, and hope it works." Harry mentally crossed his fingers, and with one silk robe already resting on his body but unpurchased, Harry grabbed the second unpurchased silk robe and physically inserted his already clothed arms through the sleeves of the larger bulkier robes so that he was now wearing two pairs of silk robes. Opening his stats page, Harry was pleasantly surprised to see that rather than a mere +1 to Charisma and Flirting, he was now sporting a +2 to Charisma and Flirting.
"It Stacks! Bwa Ha ha ha ha! Take that Programmers!" Harry did several hip thrusts towards the ceiling, and the sounds of a very happy young boy echoed out of the dressing room… but not that happy so as perverts wouldn't misconstrue what was happening in the changing room.
Harry darted out of the changing room and back into the store. A fast run into the dress robes section saw that the room was empty with signs stating that the shop was still waiting on its shipment, but Harry wasn't daunted as he ran back to the Basic Hogwarts Student Robes rack and grabbed the five remaining silk robes, he grabbed a further two silk robes from the whoppers brand rack, and then also snagged three pairs of the leather gloves from a separate display.
Thirty minutes later, after many sounds of huffing, puffing, and not a little swearing, the curtain to the changing room was thrown back to release a miniature stuffed hippo who waddle out of the changing room and too the store's set of tailor's mirrors. Ok, so it wasn't a stuffed hippo, but Harry felt like one, what with the one cotton robe, and eight silk robes, all layered over his Hooligan leather jacket, and the three pairs of leather gloves that stopped him from making a fist. Harry waddled his way like a penguin, one foot pivoting out in front and then rotating at the torso so the other leg could take a step forward until he could looked at himself in the mirror of the tailors booth.
There, with three mirrors in the tailor's booth showing him exactly what he looked like, arms stuck out to the sides because the padding didn't let him lower them, and legs so covered in robes he appeared to be wearing Victorian petticoats, Harry took a look at himself, blinked, and then broke out laughing.
"Bah! I look like Dudley going to a Rocky Horror Picture Show review!" Harry laughed hard at himself, until he started coughing from lack of air. The only thing that saved him was quickly loading up his armory page and dragging and dropping the robes and the leather jacket off of his image so he was just wearing one set of the silk robes.
Harry coughed a few times and caught his breath, and then opened his inventory to pull out his leather jacket, took off his silk robes, put the leather jacket back on, and then the silk robe over it. He'd learned that while he could only do the fast equip of one set of armor, very similar to a video game, nothing stopped him from physically wearing more clothes than what was normal. Well, nothing stopped him other than the fact that as he put on more stuff his dexterity rating started getting negative point penalties due to the bulkiness of all of the clothing. Still, it was an awesome way to cheat the system.
Harry dropped the extra robes he wasn't going to buy on a chair near the tailoring area and walked to the front counter. "I'd like to purchase this one silk Basic Hogwarts Student Robe and one pair of leather gloves, please." He amended the last part with a wink to the cashier, who blushed again as she rang up his order.
"+1 to Flirting! You gained a price discount with the sales clerk at Madame Makin's!" flashed in the corner of his vision, but he ignored it.
"Thank you Mr. Potter, would you mind autographing this for me? My friends will never believe that I met you." The teenaged female sales clerk gushed at him, pulling out a copy of Teen Witch Weekly that had a picture of Harry as he looked when he first entered The Leaky Caldron. The miniature figure of Harry struck several poses on the front page of the magazine, punk hair and biker leathers included while the headline read, "Young Bad-Boy Boy-Who-Lived Returns to the Wizarding World, Mother's Lock Up Your Daughters."
Harry's eyebrow rose as he didn't remember being photographed, then again several people at the caldron had commented upon aspects of Harry's character and stats that should have been impossible to judge from a mere first look.
Still, Harry ignored his introspection for the moment and shrugged before smiling back at the girl and taking a quill before signing his name across the page, to which the picture of Harry on the cover of Teen Witch Weekly dodged the tip of Harry's quill and flipped Harry a two-finger salute Harry scribbled his signature across the page, putting ink across the picture that caused the miniature Harry on the cover to scowl at the mess done to the page.
Harry blinked, but made no other conscious note of his image's actions before smiling at the girl and saying, "Here you go love, I hope your friends believe you now." Harry gave her back the magazine, and his hand briefly brushed hers as he passed it across the shop counter.
"Charisma Check Passed!" Flashed in his vision, and at the same time the girl briefly swooned.
"+2 to Flirting! You gained access to the Monthly Secret Special at Madame Makin's!" imposed itself in his vision again.
"Th-Thanks Mr. Potter, um, uh, would you be interested in anything else from the store? We are, um, selling a special cloak this month that you might be interested in, but it's a bit pricy at 25 galleons?" The girl, color suffusing her cheeks and flushing down below the neck of her robe line showed just how flustered she was, but as she spoke she turned and waved her wand behind her, and a dark corner behind the sales counter was sudden illuminated from above. The new alcove showed a dark broad over-cloak of a black that seemed to absorb just a bit of the light, casting shadows on the interior and making it so the inner lining could not be seen.
A text box appeared floating between the cloak and Harry; apparently only visible to Harry as the girl's wand floated right through it when she turned back around to face Harry, putting her wand back in a holster that was attached to a purse sitting beside the register.
"Cloak of Concealment, by Madame Malkin. This cloak makes others question your identity, gender, and sexuality. While walking, this black cloak allows shadows to cover your face, hiding who you are and causes your name to appear as a series of question marks to those who did not see you put it on; does not function as a disguise or a clothing change like a changing room. Still, it is a useful item when you don't want others to bother you while strolling through dark alleys. But be careful, just as a black cloak helps to make you blend in with the dark and downtrodden, it's equally good at making you look like an Emo Goth punk at a My Little Pony Brony convention if you wear it in the wrong environments; namely, you'll stand out more in well-lit and heavily traveled areas and it also only works while walking. Use wisely. Cost: 25 Galleons."
"Sold!" Harry shouted with a smile, making the salesclerk startle, but then smile at Harry's enthusiasm.
Harry dug his hand into his pocket while mentally calling up his inventory, and felt a large handful of coins populate into his grasp where he dumped them on the counter with a muffled tinkling of gold coins clattering together. The moment the coins settled on the counter, they seemed to arrange themselves and stack until the proper amount of 25 plus the price of the gloves and robes was on the counter; whether by programming or magic, Harry wasn't sure.
The clerk packaged up the items and handed them to Harry, who hid them into his inventory beneath the height of the counter so that the clerk couldn't see that he wasn't carrying an endless bag or some other common wizarding luggage.
"Thanks, gorgeous." Harry stated with a wink and a jaunty salute as he exited the store, ignoring the muffled thud behind him as he exited the store; not realizing or really caring for that matter that the clerk had just fainted.
"+1 to Flirting!" Dinged in the corner of his vision, but he was busy taking off in a bunny hopping sprint up the street.
"First the XP, then Hedwig, then the world!" Harry cackled as he bounced through the crowd up the street to the top of Diagon before turning back towards the opening and the Owl Emporium.
"You look like a sneaky…"
"Bugger off!" Harry quipped with a frown as he dodged around an old man who stopped to comment on Harry's disposition, not staying to listen to the man's comments as it was identical to previous comments by the sheep that made up the majority of the wizarding world.
The message of, "+270 XP for Exploring!" Was ignored in Harry's focus on one building and the glowing exclamation point inside, Eeylop Owl Emporium, and the mission, Busting out a Feathered Friend.
"Tawny, Barn, Brown, Screech, and Snowy" read the sign on the building as the bell on the door jingled as Harry entered the Owl Emporium. A cacophony of screeches, barks, hoots and a flurry of feathers and owl pellets rained down from myriad owls strung from the ceilings in cages, tied to perches, stands, and the occasional well-worn and claw scratched display case for owl treats and other knickknacks. Several wooden buckets sat in a stack by the front of the door, with a handle on each so that the shoppers could load the buckets with goods before checking out.
However, Harry's eyes were immediately drawn through the winding mess of cage stands and displays to the back of the store where a gold exclamation point floated in the air. Floated that is, right over a cast iron cage, within a second cage, within a third cage with each cage bearing three locks, and outside the assembly stood the owner of the emporium casting a locking spell on the final lock while cursing the snowy white owl securely locked inside.
As the only human voice in the room, Harry could hear the heavily German accented words of the man, whom the game labeled with a floating title of, "Level 37 Manager, Otto Von Eeylop."
"Try to escape out of that Ms. Owl. Nobody has escaped ze Nurmengard of Owl cages! Ze locks, zey are too small for your claws to get inside. Ze bars, zey are too thick for you to bend. Let's see how zou like some solitary confinement, and zen zou might not bite zey next pureblood lord who wantz to buy zou."
In reply to the manager, the owl that Harry easily recognized as his Hedwig barked in disgust at the owner, and then leveled a baleful gaze at the owner's back as Mr. Eeylop turned and faced Harry.
"Velcome to Eeylop's Owl Emporium, and I, am Mr. Otto Von Eeylop. How may I help zou today?" The sharp-nosed owner addressed Harry, hands steepled together in front of himself, while wearing a high collared Bavarian dark suitcoat of a robe; it was spotted with bits of feather down and bird droppings, and had a swath of leather sewn into its left arm that was clearly scratched by years of use as a carrying post for owls.
Harry blinked, as this was again one of the most realistic human greetings he had received, and then blinked again before pasting a smile on his face.
"Hello, I'd like to buy the owl right there." Harry smiled at the owner and pointed behind the man to where Hedwig the snowy owl was now clacking his beak against the iron bars of the cage as if testing the owner's statements of the security of the cages.
"Barter Failure! 100 out of 150 needed! Impossible to buy!" Flashed in the corner of Harry's vision, which made his left eye twitch and a brief grimace flash across his face before quickly reverting into a smile.
"I am zorry." Mr. Eeylop stated with a frown at Harry, "But zat owl bit zey heir of Lord Malfoy, and is being punished as it clearly isn't trained right. I couldn't sell it to you, not even if zou were Harry Potter or Albus Dumbledore himself." The owner replied with a shrug, hands spread in a helpless expression.
Harry fired back with a quick reply, "Well, I consider that a plus, not a minus. Shows the bird has good taste. And I am Harry Potter." With that, Harry reached up and revealed the scar for which he was famous.
"Barter Failure! 100 out of 150 needed! Impossible to buy!" to his annoyance, the same message from before flickered across his vision.
Now it was Mr. Eeylop's turn to blink, before making a short aristocratic bow. "It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Potter, however my answer remains the same. That owl is not for sale, even to you. However, please look around and let me know if you would like to buy something else."
With that, the man turned and walked across the store to the wooden counter that held the cash register before turning and staring at Harry unblinking, like an owl.
Harry frowned while staring back at the man and took a step to the left, only to watch as Mr. Eeylop's head pivoted to keep direct focus on Harry.
Harry's eyebrow raised in frustration and took two steps to the left, only to bump a display and spell some prewrapped packages of owl treats onto the floor.
Mr. Eeylop made no statement, and didn't even blink at the dropped items, yet his gaze remained laser focused on Harry.
"What the hell." Harry mumbled and turned and walked towards the back of the store, only checking once over his shoulder to see what Eeylop would do. Sure enough, the man was still staring unblinkingly at Harry.
"Arrgh, tis going to make this here gaol-break, a might hard. Let's see about getting me first mate out of the brig." Harry mumbled, mentally cursing his Arrgh Yer A Pirate perk which modified his words before focusing on Hedwig. The owl in turn blinked at Harry, and turned her head sideways as if asking the unspoken question of if Harry was crazy.
Harry kept his mouth shut at that point, while instead reaching out and tapping on the golden exclamation point that hovered in the air in front of Hedwig's cage.
"Busting out a Feathered Friend" The mission read, "Yeah, see here, right, we're busting out of this joint, and you're making your old snowy friend an offer she shouldn't refuse. Save Hedwig from the owl-catraz of owl cages, the Nurmengard of kennels, the nine locks of doom, and the cast iron bars of nope."
Below the description was a brief list of details of what was needed to complete the mission. "Get your future feathered friend out of the cage, and she will be your loyal partner. Unlock all nine (9) locks and successfully leave Eeylop's Owl Emporium with your pilfered partner, without being caught. Warning, mission will fail if you are seen by Mr. Eeylop or caught in the act." Accept Mission: Yes/No?
Harry accepted the mission.
"Well bugger" Harry cursed under his breath before looking the snowy owl in the eyes. "If I get you out of there and out of this shop, would you be interested in being my owl?" Harry asked the owl.
The snowy owl stared at Harry for a moment. Blinked, and then bobbed her head once and clacked her beak in what Harry assumed was the affirmative.
Harry smiled, and nodded back before turning back towards the store owner.
"Save game to save spamming two," Harry exclaimed, and the world briefly blinked at his current state was saved. "Save game to save spamming three" Harry double checked himself to make sure his saved states wouldn't get corrupted.
Harry stopped, and let his intelligence work for him, tapping his chin in thought before taking a big breath and walking towards the front of the store.
"First things first, let's see how much it would be to buy this business, then Eeylop would have to let have a better chance of buying you." Harry whispered to the owl before turning and walking towards the front door of the shop.
Eeylop's eyes followed Harry's movement the whole way towards the entrance to the store and up to a plaque that seemed partially ghostlike, and a bright red button under it like when Harry purchased the gift shop at the London Zoo. Harry didn't think he had nearly enough galleons to purchase anything now, but read the sign anyway.
"Merchant of Surrey perk present." Flashed in the corner of Harry's vision as he could read the sign. "Do you want to summon a goblin to purchase the Premium Diagon Alley store, Eeylop's Owl Emporium, for 100,000 Galleons? Press Red Button for Yes, bugger off and don't bother us if you are poor, for No. Sincerely, Gringotts's Bank"
"Well that's a no." Harry mumbled, as he looked through his meager holdings and found that after Madam Malkin's Harry only had 95 galleons left in his inventory, and he wasn't interested in heading into Gringotts and seeing what the rubies would exchange for.
Harry paused, and opened his Reputations tab, only to see he was still rated the same as every other wizard in the wizarding world, and that the actions of Cthu-tibbles hadn't negatively impacted Harry's reputation with the crotchety goblins. Harry smiled to himself for a moment, before shaking off his distraction and then going back to walking around the shop.
Turning to look at Mr. Eeylop, Harry saw that the unblinking stare was still directed right back at him.
Harry crouched, and moved into the doorway, but his Ninja Vanish did not activate, despite being in sneak mode. "Drat, still being seen."
Harry then crouched walked towards the back of the store, but even the slight alcoves between displays weren't deep enough for Harry to break Mr. Eeylop's line of sight, and the man continued his owl-like stare at Harry.
Harry crouch walked forward. Eeylop watched him.
Harry crouch walked backwards down the aisle, Eeylop still watched him.
Harry crouch walked to the left, only to bump over a perch with a Level 5 Barn Owl on it, knocking both to the floor where the Owl, tied by its leg by a tether, snapped and scratched at Harry for knocking over its roost.
Harry flailed with his hands to knock the owl away from him, fortunately without any damage as the leather gloves he now wore along with the layers of armor and skill points blocked the Barn Owl's attacks.
"Damage blocked by Armor! 0 HP Lost!" A pop-up cheerfully announced in the corner of Harry's view, but Harry was too busy rolling across the floor to get away from the angry owl. The length of the tether stopping the owl from chasing after Harry.
Harry brushed his long silky locks out of his eyes, and then blew a few strands out of his mouth as they had come lose in his brief tussle, mentally cursing his Silky Slytherin Locks of Love perk, before realizing that the store owner hadn't made a sound in reaction to Harry's actions.
Looking up, Harry saw that Mr. Eeylop was still staring at Harry, but that other than looking back at him, he hadn't made a sound or even moved to clean up the mess Harry was making of the shop.
This gave Harry an idea. A sinister idea. A devious idea. An idea that caused him to laugh manically.
"Mwa, ha ha, MWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Lightning flashed, thunder rolled, and a cloud covered the light coming in from the store windows as if a storm had popped up from nowhere. All of this quickly startled Harry out of his laughter.
"What the bloody hell?" Harry cursed, looked around, and then opened his options.
"Options, Cheat Codes" Harry commanded, "Bloody hell, knock it off!" Harry cursed at the programmers as he again turned the "Dramatic Moments" Cheat code off. Hit the save, and then the close on the Cheat Codes menu and Options.
"Well, enough of that." Harry then got out of a crouch, and reached up and attempted to drag a display case out of its position and into the aisle where it would block Mr. Eeylop's vision of Hedwig's cage.
"Strength Check Failed, 32 out of 75 needed, immovable charm remains active on display case."
"Shite!" Harry cursed, before looking over to the piles of items around the store. Bunny hopping to the front of the store, Harry grabbed two of the buckets and started hopping around the store filling them full of items, before hopping to the front of the store and dumping said store product on the counter.
Owl perches joined piles of owl treats, joined stacks of tethers, and even hoods and nail polish kits labeled for bedazzling your birds. But at the end of it, the store shelves were only originally meagerly stocked, and the stores main product of owls were immovable from their perches and cages that were locked to the walls or ceilings. Even dragging the owl perches on the across the ground, struggling owls scratching at him from their tethers, didn't give him enough mass to fully block Eeylop's constant stare at Harry and the straight line of sight to Hedwig's cage.
Still, Harry did gain another +2 to Armor wearing for the damage his leather coat and gloves blocked from the owls' attacks.
However, that didn't help Harry get any closer to saving Hedwig.
"Bloody Hell! Aagh!" Harry yelled in frustration, and spiked the wooden bucket in his right hand onto the ground, only for it to bounce off the floor, off the counter, and right into his mostly unguarded shin.
-1 HP! Flashed in his vision, as the edge of the bucket caught his shinbone, and caused Harry to hop on one foot in pain for a moment.
Looking up at Eeylop, the man continued to stare unblinking at Harry. Whereas Harry had first thought the man was more Human than most, apparently the programmers had only spent so much effort fleshing out the store manager.
"Fucking hell, mate, would you just look the other way." Harry cursed, picking up the bucket in his left hand and contemplating chucking it at the man's head, only to again see that Eeylop was level 37, 27 levels higher than Harry, and remembering that the manager had a wand whereas Harry did not.
Harry sighed. Looked at the man. Then Harry looked down at the bucket that had hit his shin and was currently laying upside down on the floor. Then Harry blinked, looked at the bucket in his own left hand, then blinked again. A quick glance back to the store keeper, and then back to the upside-down bucket on the floor, and then the bucket in his left hand.
"No. No, there is no way they could be that stupid." Harry shook his head at the thought he just had. He then looked around. Despite the angry hoots, screeches and barks the owls had made, despite knocking things over, nobody had entered the store from the street during the entire time Harry was trying to beat the mission. His only obstacle was Mr. Otto Von Eeylop.
"Well, it doesn't hurt to try." Harry monologued with a shrug before walking around his pile of items that littered the counter, stepped over the bits and bobs that had fallen to the floor, then hopped up onto a chair behind the counter, and carefully dropped the bucket over the head of Mr. Eeylop, careful so as not to cause injury and cause a fight, but also blocking the man's sight.
Mr. Eeylop continued looking back towards the chair where Harry had last been seen, but as Harry moved off the chair, and towards the front of the store, Mr. Eeylop's head did not move to follow.
Harry squatted down in a crouch, initiating sneak mode. "Ninja Vanish activated!" appeared in the corner of Harry's vision, and his hands turned into semi ghostly as if he was blending in with his surroundings.
Harry stifled the evil laugh that threatened to spill out of his chest. It had worked!
Carefully crouch walking to the back of the store, Harry walked up to the snowy owl's cage and looked up at the Owl, who looked straight back at Harry; clearly not fooled by Harry's sneaking skills or perks.
"I'll have you out of that cage in a jiffy, just you wait!" Harry whispered to his soon to be partner, as he pulled out a lock pick and stuck one in the first lock.
"SNAP!" the first lockpick immediately broke the moment Harry stuck it in the lock.
"Bloody Hell!" Harry cursed.
"Prek!" the Snowy owl barked back at Harry, almost as if she was chiding him for his language.
Harry blushed, not even his owl yet, and already henpecked, Harry apologized. "Sorry, I'll work on it. But first, Save Game." Harry apologized, "This could take longer than expected."
Fifteen reloads of his saved game, and still he only had one lock pick left by the time he finally was able to pick all of the 9 locks and get Hedwig out of the Nurmengard of Owl cages. It probably would have been a lot easier if Harry had known the unlocking charm, or even had a wand, as the mission was clearly meant for Harry to tackle later in life when he was on his way to Hogwarts. Still, he had finally succeeded, gained another +15 points to Lock-Picking, an extra 225+ XP total for successfully picking the difficult locks, and been chastised for his language 27 times by the snowy owl.
Still, he had beat the mission! A box popped up in his vision, and the world around Harry froze as the game gave him a message.
"Ding! Busting out a Feathered Friend Mission Completed! +250XP, You've gained your first potential Companion! Do you want to gain the Snowy Owl as your Companion? Snowy Owl's perks are: She fetches, she carries, and she demands bacon! The Snowy Owl has the All Owls Know perk, which allows them to find any person or location not hidden by wards. Your owl can run delivery errands for you, fetch items from hard to reach places, and pick up not only your mail but also the rent and items you earn from properties you own. Other than that, she's an owl, don't expect help at school or in combat. Opens future Perk choice of "Familiar of The Fuzzy Persuasion" to your list of possible perks, starting at next level. Do you want to add Snowy Owl to your party? Yes/No, Companion Slots available: 7"
Before Harry clicked Yes, He wanted to understand what it meant by Companion Slots, so clicked on the glowing number 7.
"Companion Compendium," The game read to him, as a new message popped up. "You wouldn't realize this, being a moody bastard the last time you played this game, but all individuals have the possibility of making at least one friend in life as a minimum. Above that depends on your Charisma, you get an extra slot for ever five (5) points you have in Charisma, plus or minus any perks or flaws you, or your selected companions, have that could add or limit the number of slots available. It's your choice, but companions/friends can be helpful. Because with friends, a good friend will help you hide a body, a great friend will be right there alongside you going, "Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap what have we done!?"
Harry shook his head in amusement, and exited the Companion Compendium screen before clicking "Yes" on the companion options.
"Please select the name you want to call your Companion: Snowy Owl" the game mechanics listed to Harry, who swiped a hand over the words snowy owl, clearing it, before clearly stating "Hedwig." The world unfroze, and the owl blinked at Harry now that the three cages were unlocked.
Harry pulled out two pieces of bacon from his inventory, eating one to heal the 1 Heart of health he had lost from the bucket to the shins, and then another for Hedwig. Harry extended his leather gloved hand and robed and leather jacket covered arm, "Do you want to come with me girl? Can I call you Hedwig?" Harry asked her with a genuine smile.
"Preck, bark" Hedwig replied with two bobs of her head, as she snapped up the bacon and ate it quickly. She then stepped off her perch in the cage, onto Harry's hand, and then sort of side walked up his arm until she had climbed onto his shoulder where she looked Harry right in the eyes before pushing her forehead against his. Hedwig clacked her beak as she stood up and looked around. The snowy owl then shivered her feathers, and then puffed up in delight at being free, before quirking her head in a circle around the store meaningfully, before staring Harry right in the eyes.
Harry looked at her, and his smile grew broader. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Harry asked, pointing at the still blinded Eeylop who hadn't moved despite the bucket on his head.
Hedwig slowly turned her head towards her former captor, and then back towards Harry, before chuffing several times, making Harry laugh evilly.
He ignored the lightning and thundered that rolled in the background as he laughed, and Hedwig chuffed.
"Right, let's rob this place blind." Harry finished before starting to get to work dropping all the owl food, treats, perches, and other knickknacks into his inventory. Hedwig launched off his shoulder and started picking up items in her claws before returning and somehow dropping the items into Harry's open inventory chest that hovered in the air before Harry.
It was the start of a beautiful friendship.
AN: What has it been, a year? People keep asking, and the answer is, "no." None of my stories are abandoned, I just haven't been in the best headspace to write, nor have I really had the time that matched the muse to write. I've had most of this chapter written for a long time, but parts of it seemed like I was trying to shoehorn Harry into joining the criminal world, when I needed to do the Hedwig scene first. This sort of wrote itself once I finally stopped trying to force Harry to march into Knockturn Alley without first saving Hedwig. Now that he has his bird, it also frees up his ability to gather rents without having to worry about being stuck in Scotland, or traveling the world, etc. Some people may also ask, when is he going to get to the Canon adventures? Well canon sucked originally for Harry, so if you were playing in Harry's shoes, wouldn't you want to stack the deck and level up as much as possible before having to face adult level villains and crazy headmasters who act like the wizard your DnD party met at the inn… here sonny, try this quest, now try this one, and I'm going to be over here being mysterious. Screw that, Harry is going to rob people blind, burn down the enemy, and piss on the ashes. He's exploiting all the loopholes, grinding like a pro, and cheating where possible. Screw playing for difficulty, he's playing to win! Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Cheers!
Michaelsuave
[Break]
Current stats and info:
Level 10:
CURRENT EXP: 25745; TOTAL EXP NEEDED FOR NEXT LEVEL: 35000
Health: 24/24
Magic: 480/480
Stamina: 100/100
ABILITIES: Ability points to be allocated: 0
Strength: 32
Dexterity: 20
Constitution: 9
Intelligence: 26
Wisdom: 12
Charisma: 32 +(3 from necklace and robes)
SKILLS: Skill Points to Allocate:66
Armor Wearing: 52
Barter: 100
Bulgarian Language: 25
Care of Magical Creatures: 20
Charms: 13 +(5)
Criminal Contacts: 1
Dancing: 4
Dual-Wielding: 25
French language: 34
Flirting: 60 + (1)
German Language: 25
Herbology: 74
Lock-Picking: 47
Magical Transportation: 6
Muggle Subjects: 100
Parseltongue Language: 100
Pick-pocket: 26
Potioneering: 10
Ranged: 100
Russian Language: 25
Silent Takedown: 100
Sneak: 100
Two-Handed: 8
Unarmed: 10
EQUIPPED PERKS: Perk Points Available: 0
Comprehending The Incomprehensible.
Arrr, Yer a Pirate!
Accidental Magic
I Have The Power
It's an Adventurer's Life
Are You Threatening Me?!
Ninja Vanish!
The Call of Cthu-Tibbles
Run-Away!
Me Tarzan, You Jane
Silver Tongued Devil
Studiously Studying Student
Wiser is the Miser
The Cunning Linguist
The Merchant of Surrey
Multi-Classing (Thief)
Silky Slytherin Locks of Love
"Dodge This!"
"It Was An Accident!"
"Did I do that?"
95 galleons
1025 muggle pounds
Companions: 1/7
Hedwig: Snowy Owl
All Owls Know perk, which allows them to find any person or location not hidden by wards. Your owl can run delivery errands for you, fetch items from hard to reach places, and pick up not only your mail but also the rent and items you earn from properties you own. Other than that, she's an owl, don't expect help at school or in combat.
[BREAK]
Perk – first available at level X or origin – chosen at level X or what granted the perk - benefits
Comprehending the Incomprehensible – LV2 – LV2 choice – skill books give additional +2, ability books give additional +1
Arr, Yer a Pirate – LV3 – LV3 - +25% chance for more/better loot. Every creature drops some money. Occasionally talk like pirate.
I have the Power – LV4 – LV4 - +100 points magic pool, unlock magic skill
Are you threatening me?! – LV5 – LV5 – 66% chance of wandless incendio when feeling threatened, no mana cost, learn incendio
Ninja Vanish – LV3 – LV6 - +20 sneaking in shadows, +25% damage on sneak attacks, +5 Dual-Wielding
The Call of Cthu-Tibbles – achievement – gained LV6 for defeating Tibbles – once per lunar cycle summon an aspect of Tibbles into combat for 9 minutes.
RUN AWAY! – achievement – gained LV6 for fleeing from Old Man Henderson – uncontrolled burst of speed along current travel path
Me Tarzan, you Jane – bonus – STRENGTH 20 – carry damsel and her luggage without suffering weight penalties
Studiously Studying Student – bonus – INT 20 – teachers' pet, gain skill point for every class attended, gain gold star sticker (can be traded for perk point)
Wiser is the miser – LV7 – LV7 – +20 Barter (incl. +4 Charisma), bonus 10% discount on buying and selling for every 20 points Barter, +10% profit from businesses
The Cunning Linguist – LV7 – LV7 (gold star sticker bonus perk) – can learn any language by listening (+10/hour until fluent – apparently 100 skill), popular with ladies, +25 Flirting, unlocks Parseltongue, +25 German, Russian, French, Bulgarian
Accidental Magic – special – perform accidental magic apparition – rarely activates, only in cases of extreme emotions and/or stress.
Silver Tongued Devil – bonus – Parseltongue 100 – persuasion; +10 Barter, +25 Flirt, +2 Charisma
Multi-Classing – LV8 – LV8 – [+3 STR, unlock Heavy armor, Firearms] or [+3Dex, unlock Silent Takedown, Criminal Connections]
Merchant of Surrey – bonus – barter 100 – substantial discount, 80% more profit for selling, sell stolen goods at normal shops, buy businesses
Silky Slytherin Locks of Love – bonus – Charisma 20 – Women want you, Male Model reputation with Teen Witch Weekly and fan club, female characters more likely to join party
It's an adventurer's life – punishment(?) – hair cut, no need to poop – nothing
Dodge This! – bonus – Dex20 – can try to avoid any ranged attack, appears as a red warning light in the corner of his vision letting Harry know of incoming ranged trouble
It was an Accident – LV4-6 – LV9 – 50% more accidental magic, without wandless mastery: 25% positive, 25% negative result.
Hair Like Snape – LV2 – not chosen, hated - +10 potions, +25% critical on potion crafting, -1 Charisma
Lemon-Drop Addiction – LV2 – not chosen - +33% magical power while satisfying addiction, -50% during withdrawal
A Black Gene – LV2 – not chosen – +10 Dark Magic, morph hair length/color twice/day
A Summer Job – LV2 – not chosen – 100 pound/summer
Creature Comfort – LV3 – not chosen – taste smells, see heat, regeneration, -5 Charisma, will be discriminated against
There are some who call me – Tim! – LV6 (req. Are you threatening me?!) – not chosen – -50% cost for fire magic, learn: Fireball, Pillar of Fire
Dog-gone'it, People like me – LV6 – not chosen – Puppy dogs eyes, +5 Charisma
He's got that Kung-Fu grip – LV7 – not chosen – freakish large and strong forearms, +25 Unarmed, +5 Strength
You're a dark son of a bitch – LV9 – not chosen – become a sadist, +25 reputation with dark creatures, -50 rep with light sided individuals and groups, double XP towards learning dark magic skills and spells, unlocks Dark Rituals
A Terrifying Terrorist – Chapter 13 – not chosen - you and your companions become more skilled in potions, learn explosive potion, suffer from premature detonation
"Did I do that? - Chapter 13 – chosen at chapter 13 - better control your accidental magic, but suffer a 200% penalty to magic use for doing magic without a wand or foci
Titles
Title – granted in chapter X – event that lead up to it - benefit
Hufflepuff Harry – Chapter 2 – finding shovel in park – no benefit listed
The Shadow – Chapter 4 – Sneak 100 – stealth in combat to break line of sight (? Meaning not clear), flee, or loosing attention; +10 pickpocket and lockpicking while stealthed.
I am the very model of a modern Major-General! – Chapter 4 – Muggle studies 100 – know everything, +5 Charisma, dialogue option: 'Baffle them with Bullshit!'
Dead Eye Dick – Chapter 4 – Ranged 100 – slow time to aim at body parts, Headshot: +50% damage, arms: disarm
The Cat Whisperer – Chapter 5 – complete Kneazel missions by killing Tibbles – loved by cats, can affect Animagus
How do you like Dem Apples – Chapter 7 – frame classmate antagonist for something and get away with it– no benefits listed
Sneaky Snake of Slytherin – Chapter 9 – complete snake escort mission and get Salazar Slytherin's Contract Quill – no benefits listed
Hippo Hopper – Chapter 10 – leap from hippo to hippo – no benefits listed
Shite Shoveler – Chapter 10 – Shoveling shite for hours – no benefit listed
Does Somebody Smell Bacon – Chapter 11 – Try to pick a magical lock with a muggle lock pick and get electrocuted.
Amateur Proctologist – Chapter 12 – Successfully use the Pointy Stick in a critical backstab
Trophies
Name – event – chapter
Let's play Frogger. Congratulations for surviving a real life version of Frogger. – Chapter 2
You're a Jumping Fool. Congratulations on jumping 5,000 times. – Chapter 2
Beat down by a Blue-Haired Biddy:You've been beat up by an old woman. Aren't you proud? – Chapter 3
I can fly! – Nope I was wrong. Fall more than two stories and live to tell about it. We suggest using a broom next time. – chapter 4
Showing off the boys – Sprint more than a kilometer while naked without getting arrested – Chapter 6
Monkey Poo En Flambe Perfume by Harry Potter – get covered in burned monkey poo – Chapter 9
Hungry Hungry Hippos – piss off hippos in zoo – Chapter 10
Does Somebody Smell Bacon? - get electrocuted for trying to pick a magical lock with a muggle lockpick - Chapter 11
Levels
LV1 Chapter 1
LV2 Chapter 3
LV3 Chapter 3
LV4 Chapter 3
LV5 Chapter 3
LV6 Chapter 5
LV7 Chapter 7
LV8 Chapter 9
LV9 Chapter 10
LV10 Chapter 13