Old Walpurgis was hopping around
Mikatihara like a big playground
When suddenly Gretchen burst from the shade
and hit Walpurgis with a Stick grenade
Walpurgis got pissed and began to Attack
but didn't expect to be blocked by Sak'
who proceeded to open up a can of Sak' Fu
When Sasa Yuuki came out of the blue

And she started beating up Kyoko Sakura
Then they both got flattened by young Sayaka
but before she could make it back to the Girl-cave
Mami Tomoe popped out of her grave
and took Several Rifles out from under her hat
and blew Miki away with a rat-a-tat-tat
but she ran out of bullets and she ran away
because Hisaomi came to save the day

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Kyuubey
Magi, Witches, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Kyuubey

Walpurgis took a bite out of Kreim'
like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime
and then Sak came back covered in a tire track
but Kirika jumped out and landed on her back
and Miki was injured, and trying to get steady
when Madoka appeared holding a machete
but suddenly something caught her leg and she tripped
Akemi Homura took her out with her whip

then she saw Walpurgis sneaking up from behind
and she reached for her gun which she just couldn't find
'cause Charlotte stole it and she shot and she missed
then Mami deflected it with her fist
then she jumped in the air and did a somersault
while Sayaka Miki tried to pole vault
onto Hisaomi, but they collided in the air
then they both got hit by a Kyuubey Stare

this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Kyuubey
Witches, Magi, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...

angels sang out an immaculate chorus
down from the heavens descended Sakura
who delivered a card which could cleave through knees
into the chest of Hisaomi
who fell over on the ground, crying in vain
as Oriko changed back into a Minor Pain
but Sakura saw through her clever trick
then shot her and made everyone sick

then Yuuri the real and Yuuri the B*tch and
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Young Witch and
Time-Displaced Virginia and Queen Himiko and
Cleopatra and bed-bound Misako
Roberta, Von Seckendorff, Kazumi, and Black Rock Shooter
Anne Frank, Izabel, Both the Inu Daruma Brothers
Kaoru Maki and The unknown Suleika,
Amy, Saki, Remi, and Nanoha
all came out of nowhere lightning fast
and they kicked Sakura in her cardcaptor ass
it was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
with civilians looking on in total awe

and the battle raged on for a century
many lives were claimed, but eventually
the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mirai Wakaba in a bloodstained sweater

Witches, Magi, and explosions as far as the eye can see
and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
this is the Ultimate Showdown...
(The Ultimate Showdown)
this is The Ultimate Showdown...
(The Ultimate Showdown)
This is the Ultimate Showdown...
Of Ultimate Kyuubey.