I've been away from writing on Fanfiction for two years now and recently received a request for a one-shot/epilogue of Leonard's proposal from my fic Time to Say Goodbye which I completed four years ago. I'm feeling very much out of practice, but thought this might be a way to ease myself back into writing. Anyway, hopefully you will enjoy this addition. As always your reviews are welcome. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Bang Theory. I just love the characters.

Ready to Take a Chance Again..

From out of the corner of her eye Amber could see Leonard wringing his hands anxiously in the passenger seat beside her. It was a certain tell tale sign that something was bothering him. Taking her eyes off the road for a moment she saw him check the inside of pocket of his blazer for what was at least the third time in the last ten minutes.

"Honey, are you ok? You seem kind of tense." she remarked.

They were on the road en route to the weekend vacation which Leonard had booked and surprised her with only a few days before. His enthusiasm which had been so evident while packing to leave that morning, had evaporated soon after they'd stopped for brunch at a local restaurant.

"I'm fine...Really." Leonard answered in an uneasy tone which suggested otherwise. "I'm just excited to be going away for the weekend."

Amber was by no means convinced, but rather than press her boyfriend, decided to drive on in silence for the next few miles. It occurred to her that he might be concerned about being away from his daughter Grace for the whole weekend. In the six months that had passed since the incident in which she and Grace had been held hostage by her estranged husband Leonard hadn't been separated from his daughter for more than a few hours, and although she didn't like thinking back on the events of that day, Amber knew they were both lucky to be alive. For the remainder of the journey they chatted and listened to the radio, Amber shamelessly admitting to being a closet Barry Manilow fan after years of being taken to concerts under sufferance by her mom. By the time they reached the hotel, Leonard's seemed to be at more at ease.

"Wow this place is amazing!" Amber exclaimed as she surveyed the cottage that was to be their hideaway for the weekend. Set back from the main hotel complex, it featured a large open fire place and French windows that opened out onto a patio with views of a pretty Japanese garden and the surrounding San Gabriel Mountains.

"I think you're gonna have to drag me away from here kicking and screaming." she added jokingly.

With Leonard seeming more relaxed she decided to cautiously broach the subject of his earlier mood.

"Was it me?. Because if I said something to upset you."

Leonard shook his head. Taking Amber by the hand he coaxed her to sit beside him on the end of the bed.

"I promise you it wasn't anything you did." he said.

Amber shrugged. "So, what was it?"

Leonard paused so as to gather his thoughts. He'd hoped to avoid telling her for fear of tarnishing what he intended to a very special weekend, but he appreciated her need to understand why he'd seemed so distant and withdrawn earlier that day.

"Ok this might sound a little weird, but that place we stopped for lunch was where Penny used to work as a waitress." Leonard explained."I haven't been back there since she died."

Amber's gaze dropped to the floor. She knew that his late wife had worked as a waitress when they had first met and for a number of years thereafter until she quit to pursue her acting career. What she hadn't realised was that it had been at the Pasadena Cheesecake Factory.

"Leonard. I had no idea." Amber said apologetically. "Why didn't you say something? We could have gone somewhere else."

"You couldn't have known. I thought it would be ok, but when we got inside... I guess it just knocked me for a loop. In the early days the guys and I used to go there all the time." Leonard told her with a sad smile. "Being there just brought back a lot of memories ."

Amber recalled how dramatically his demeanour had changed upon entering the restaurant and being approached by a bubbly blond waitress with a pony tail.

"That waitress reminded you of Penny didn't she?"

Leonard nodded. "I know it sounds crazy."

Amber rose to her feet to turn her attention to unpacking the contents of her suitcase. Taking out the black velvet dress which she planned to wear to dinner that night she opened the closet.

"Maybe we should talk about this." Leonard suggested, beckoning her to re-join him on the bed. Facing away from him he heard her let out a sigh.

"Leonard I understand really I do. Penny was your wife and the mother of your child. You'll always have a special connection with her, but.."

"But what?"

Amber took a deep in breath. "I guess it feels like I'm competing with somebody who isn't even here anymore." she admitted unable to bring herself to turn and face him. "Maybe I've been kidding myself these past few months." Amber continued with tears in her eyes. "That somebody like you..kind, intelligent, handsome, sexy, could be interested in me. Let's face it, I'm damaged goods."

"No, don't say that." Leonard was quick to interrupt her tirade of self doubt. "You know that's not true."

"Isn't it? I jump every time somebody knocks on my door. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder.,.. Even though he's dead somehow he's still managing to control me." Amber cried angrily in reference to the husband who had left her emotionally traumatised. Plagued by flashbacks and nightmares in the six months that she had been dating Leonard they had yet to make love.

"Amber I love you. I'm crazy about you. Grace is crazy about you. Its true Penny will always have a special place in my heart, but I also know she'd want me to be happy. When she died I gave up hope. I didn't think I'd ever love again. You must know you brought me alive again."

Amber had been the first person to whom Leonard had opened up to and in doing so had helped him begin the process of forgiving himself.

"Leonard, why did you bring me here?" Amber began after regaining her composure. "Is it to try and escape the ghosts of our past?"

It wasn't how he'd planned, but Leonard found himself instinctively reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket and producing the small box which he'd concealed on his person that day. Clearing his throat he began to speak. "Amber, there is a reason I wanted to bring you here and perhaps part of that reason was to be alone and to put some distance between us and our memories, but the main reason is because I want to ask you to marry me."

Stunned Amber stared down at the sparkling diamond solitaire ring Leonard held in his outreached hand. "Will you marry me?"

"Leonard I...I don't know what to say." she said in a whisper."Marry you?"

Just then they were interrupted by Leonard's cell phone ringing. At first he ignored it, but when it began to ring for a second time Amber urged him to answer.

"Leonard?"

It was Bernadette. In the background he could hear the sound of indistinct voices and an announcement being made over a tannoy.

"Bernadette, what is it? Is it Grace?"

"Leonard, there's no need to worry, but we're at the hospital with Grace." She told him and then went onto explain how Grace had become wheezy while out kite flying in the park with Howard and Raj. Concerned that she was having an asthma attack they had taken her to the emergency room.

"The doctor says she's fine. He's happy for her to come home with us." Bernadette assured him. "I think Howie and Raj just panicked. All Grace is worried about now is getting ice cream on the way home." she laughed.

Bernadette was aware of Leonard's plan to propose to Amber and so had been reluctant to call for fear of him abandoning their weekend.

"I think I should come home." came Leonard's response.

Bernadette sighed. "Really Leonard there's no need to overact." she said sharply.

For Leonard the psychological wounds from when Grace had been hospitalised after suffering a severe asthma attack were still very raw.

"I'm overreacting? Well maybe you wouldn't be saying that if your daughter had nearly died." Leonard snapped, regretting his words instantly.

Only a few months away from giving birth to her first daughter, Bernadette was herself about embark on all the trials and tribulations that parenthood would undoubtedly bring. Leonard knew that he'd crossed the line in the way he'd spoken to her.

"Bernadette I'm sorry." he apologised.

"Leonard is everything ok?" Bernadette asked sensing there was something behind his uncharacteristic outburst. "With Amber I mean."

While speaking on the phone Leonard hadn't noticed Amber slipping out of the cottage and making her way to the Japanese garden. Peering through the French windows he could see her standing head bowed on a red wooden bridge which crossed over an ornamental fish pond. Even from a distance he could tell that she was crying.

"I've blown it Bernadette." Leonard said in a barely audible whisper. "I think it's over."

Howard eyed Leonard with concern as he took another long slug from what was his second beer that evening.

"Maybe you should take it easy buddy." he remarked. "Nobody ever found the answer to their problems at the bottom of a beer bottle."

Leonard shrugged. He wasn't much of a drinker, but the alcohol was definitely helping to deaden the pain and the humiliation. Back at home he and Howard were seated at the kitchen table going over the events of that day while Bernadette was upstairs reading Grace her bedtime story.

"Remind me again what Amber said after you asked her to marry you?" Howard asked.

Leonard had been over it twice already and each time he felt a little worse than before. "That's just it, she didn't say anything." he replied. An awkward silence had endured for the entirety of their journey home.

"So she didn't actually say no then?" Howard said searching for a glimmer of hope to offer his friend. "Maybe she just needs some time to think it over."

With his second beer finished Leonard was wandering toward the refrigerator for his third when Bernadette marched purposefully into the kitchen.

"What's all this?" she demanded noting the collection of empty beer bottles and the defeated expression on her friends face. "Is it some kind of pity party?"

Howard tensed. His wife could certainly be sharp tongued and intimidating when she wanted. "I was just trying to give Leonard some man to man advice." he answered.

"Man to man advice my ass!" Bernadette snorted, her hands firmly on her hips. "Leonard Hofstadter you get over that street right now and talk to her!" she ordered.

Heeding Bernadette's instruction, Leonard headed across the street only to find Amber's house in darkness with the window drapes drawn. After several attempts at knocking he conceded defeat and returned home.

"She doesn't want to speak with me." he reported to his friends waiting eagerly in the kitchen. "I just have to face facts. It's over."

After drinking nearly a whole bottle of wine while on the telephone to her sister in New York, Amber had passed out on the couch and had failed to be roused by the knocking at her door. The following morning she awoke disorientated and her head aching from the effects of the alcohol she drew back the window drapes only to notice immediately the absence of Leonard's car from his driveway.

"If you're looking for Dr Hofstadter he and his daughter left first thing this morning."

Dishevelled and still wearing the clothes she'd fallen asleep in, Amber had wasted no time in heading across the street only to encounter Mr Cunningham, Leonard's elderly bearded next door neighbour tending to the roses in his front yard.

"Left? I don't suppose you know where?" she stammered.

"He's gone to stay with his in-laws in Nebraska. He wasn't exactly sure when he'd be back so asked me to check on his mail for him."

The news had hit Amber like a bucket of ice cold water.

"Are you ok Amber?" Mr Cunningham asked, concern evident in his eyes. "Didn't Dr Hofstadter tell you that he was planning to go away?"

"I guess it must have slipped his mind." Amber answered flatly as she turned to go home.

"It's probably none of my business." Mr Cunningham said halting Amber in her stride. "But for two people who have been through as much as you and Dr Hofstadter you so deserve to be happy. I certainly haven't seen him as happy in a long time as he's been these last few months. I think that's down to you."

The hostage incident of the previous year was still the talk of the neighbourhood and many of the residents including Mr Cunningham remembered Penny and the tragic events that had surrounded her death.

"Everyone has a past. What's important is what we make of our future."

It took Amber just a short while to pack her belongings into a suitcase and to phone for a taxi to take her to the airport. It was only when she was in the terminal and queuing for the ticket desk that she decided to call her sister.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" her sister Sophie questioned.

"Of course I'm sure." Amber lied hoping that by saying it out loud she might succeed in convincing herself.

"Really? Because last night you were such a mess. You didn't know what you wanted."

In their two hour long phone conversation Amber had debated various scenarios, one of which included returning to New York.

"Well I do now." she answered with renewed determination as she shuffled forward to the front of the queue. "Sophie, I have to go. I'll call you, ok?"

"Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport. How can I help you today?" the lady behind the ticketing desk chorused cheerfully.

Stating her destination, Amber passed her credit card over only to be informed that bad weather had delayed a number of flights including her own. Passing through security into the departures terminal she was greeted by a throng of disgruntled passengers, some of whom had taken to sitting on the floor due to the lack of available seating. Heading to one of the many restaurants, she had just settled into a booth and was scanning the menu when she noticed a pink toy cat lying on the seat beside her. The waitress approached.

"May I take your order?" she asked before sighting the pink toy cat that Amber was now holding. "Oh that must belong to the little girl who was just here." she remarked.

Amber's pulse quickened as she came to realise that Leonard's flight must have been among those which had been delayed.

"Was she with her father? Dark hair? Glasses?"

"That's them." the waitress nodded. "Cute kid. Do you know them?"

"He's my boyfriend at least I thought he was..I don't suppose you know when they left?"

"Sure about half an hour ago. Their flight got called so they left in a hurry." the waitress recalled. Despite leaving before they'd finished eating Leonard had left her a generous tip. "He seemed like a really great guy. If you don't want him honey I'll have him." she added absentmindedly. "Losers and deadbeats are the only guys I seem to meet these days."

On the departures screen Amber could see the 'gate closing' notification for the flight to Eppley airport. Realising all at once what she needed to do she hurried out of the restaurant.

"Please this belongs to a little girl on this flight." she panted upon arriving at the gate brandishing Grace's beloved soft kitty.

The lady behind the desk smiled politely. "Sorry ma'am but this flight is now closed."

"No, you don't understand. It's her favourite cuddly toy she can't go to bed without it." Amber protested with tears in her eyes.

"With respect ma'am I think you're the one who doesn't understand." the lady said with an exasperated sigh. It had been a very long shift and her patience for awkward passengers had long since run out. "We don't delay flights for lost toys."

Amber watched in dismay as the airplane outside began to be pushed back in preparation for takeoff. Conceding a painful defeat she walked away...

It was the following morning and after what had turned into out to be a sleepless night for Leonard he was having breakfast in the kitchen with Wyatt and Susan while Grace played in the yard outside.

"Son, why don't you call her?" Wyatt suggested while studying the pained expression of his son-in-law over the rim of his coffee cup. As much as he and his wife were delighted that he and Grace had come to stay, they were concerned by the circumstances. And now in the cold light of day with thousands of miles between them, Leonard had come to regret his decision.

"I have. Her cell's switched off and she's not answering at home." Leonard reported sadly. In the last hour alone he'd checked his cell phone for messages at least a dozen times. "I thought maybe we both needed some space...dammit I've really messed up, haven't I?"

"Oh Leonard we hate seeing you like this." Susan sighed. "I really wish there was something we could do."

Standing up to deposit his empty coffee cup in the sink, through the kitchen window, Wyatt noticed a taxi making its way steadily along the drive approaching the house. Coming to a stop he watched a young blond lady get out. In an instant Grace was running toward her, throwing her arms around her waist , delighted to reunited with her lost toy cat.

"Susan, I think we may have one more extra for lunch today." Wyatt smiled. "Perhaps our son-in-law would like to go and welcome her."

By the time Leonard ventured outside Grace was talking excitedly about the riding lesson she was due to have that afternoon and how Amber absolutely had to join her.

"Daddy doesn't ride. He's afraid of horses." he heard his daughter giggle as he neared.

Bending down so as to be at eye level with the little girl of whom she'd become so very fond, Amber spoke. "Well, maybe if I offer to hold your Daddy's hand he won't be so afraid." she said. "That's if he wants me to hold his hand?" She added turning her head to look directly at Leonard.

Telling his daughter to go and join her grandparents inside the house, Leonard found himself at a loss for words.

"Amber." he stammered finally finding his voice. "I've been trying to call you. I'm so sorry I just panicked..I thought it was over between us."

Amber pressed her finger to Leonard's lips. "It's ok. I was pretty freaked out there for a while too." She admitted.

"And now?"

"Well, lets just say I'm definitely coming round to the idea." she answered with a contented smile noticing then that she and Leonard were being watched curiously by Wyatt and Susan from the kitchen window. "So are you gonna introduce me to Wyatt and Susan? You've told me so much about them I feel like I know them already."

And slipping her hand into his they walked toward the house.