Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Squeak squeak squeak.

Just her luck, Kido thought as she tossed and turned between the covers. Seto just had to have the squeakiest bed in the house, the kind of squeaky that could be heard while she was deep frying tofu in the kitchen. And his room had to be positioned so the only thing that separated his bed from hers was the thin wooden wall.

Squeak squeak squeak.

Seto chuckled from next door.

Normally, Kido had no problems with Seto's bed, but when Mary snuck into his room and they started giggling and kissing and making out and touching each other and

She didn't really want to think about that last point so she ended her train of thought and tried to think about anything, anything but the squeak-squeak-squeak of the mattress next door.

Mary let out a moan.

Squeak squeak squeak.

Maybe they should have stew for dinner tomorrow. Or a hot pot. But it was the middle of August. Those sorts of foods would be better for winter, wouldn't they?

Squeak squeak squeak.

Did Mary need to eat fruits and vegetables? Since she was part snake, maybe not? But she was three-fourths human. What did her mother feed her before she passed away? Heck, how did Mary feed herself after Shion died?

Squeak squeak squeak.

What if Mary and Seto had a baby? Seto would probably die of old age long before Mary. But then what? Who would die first, the mother with one-fourth gorgon blood or the baby with only a sixteenth?

Squeak squeak squeak.

Kido planted her face into the down pillow and screamed quietly. Why couldn't they do it somewhere else, at someothertime?!

And then there came another squeak from Seto's room, but it wasn't really a squeak as it was a creak. His door had been opened. And someone was angry.

"For fuck's sake Seto," Kano's voice grumbled from the hallway, actually sounding pissed and not at all cheerful for once. "I know you two love each other, but please, please. Some people are trying to-"

Kido winced as she heard the low hiss of a slithering snake and the small, exasperated sigh of Seto.

"You froze him?"

"Yeah. Hey, Seto, you know that rope we used last time?"

"Yeah."

"Let's tie him to your bed."

"But we're using the bed."

"Not if we're using his bed."

"You're right! Mary, you're so smart!"

"E-Eh? N-no..."

Kido rolled over onto her side and pulled the covers high over her head. Maybe she'd manage to get some sleep after all.