Note: I'd written this a few months ago, after the finale, but never got around to posting it. Post 1x15 – The Final Chapter.

…

She's a ghost to him now.

The last parts of her filter through his memories like bullets, painful yet somehow a comforting presence. Her last words however, threaten to bring tears to his eyes as they replay over and over and over.

'Mike, you're a good man. Don't lose that.'

He feels the ache of loss deep in his bones for the fellow agent – most importantly, the friend they were unable to save. It's hard to think he'll never see her again, all dark eyes and strong demeanor. It was torture hearing her break over the phone, listening to the woman who was always so strong and guarded, finally worn down to a shell of a child.

Everything was done with, Joe was dead, but the victory was bitter. Tainted. When a part of their team was absent, there was no reason to celebrate.

'She should have been there to witness it, the end of it all.'

Mike echoed out a long sigh and wiped a hand over his tired eyes, but they refused to close. He knew he'd be having nightmares for the next few days. Watching her choke and sputter until the last breath entered her lungs. His hands might as well have been around her throat, with the failure of letting her die, Mike felt the blood stains painted on his skin. The guilt that threatened to eat him alive.

Trying to get a grip of reality, he gripped a handful of his dog's fur and stroked the small animal, seeking comfort in something so domestic. It had been a few hours since he'd left his couch and the dog. There, he was safe.

They were all finally safe; Claire and Hardy back at his apartment and Joey flying in from D.C. to see his mom. He was going to go visit them in a few days, after having time to get settled. But everything felt wrong without her, empty. Leaning further back into the couch, he prayed she could hear his thoughts.

'We did it Deb. We got him.'