SUP. I'm going to let it sink in that I'm actually updating… actually does anyone even read this, like I'm pretty sure I lost all my followers awhile back tbh. Either way, I'm updating and like always this is being dedicated to the amazing KAT, love ya buddy!

You know that really sad moment when you have to go back AND REREAD your own story cause you forgot it? Yeah I think Ima have to do that… .-. I actually did attempt this one when I was having my soulful January fuckery but like I couldn't even write for it, which was a big shock cause it's like this is the most angsty I get why can't I write for this, I'm so in tuned you don't even know. So yeah let's commence the music before I start being even more retarded than I am now. You guys can't tell but I literally spent a couple minutes playing with a smilie face I ended up not having.

Sasori:

"You don't actually want to open that door do you?"

I blinked, coming back to my senses, furrowing my eyebrows as I realized my hand had been hovering over the door handle, "I'm not sure." I placed my hand on the handle, almost retracting from the cold. I sighed and gripped it tighter.

"You don't actually have to go, I can tell her something." She offered from my side.

Once again my vision sort of blurred as I stared blankly at the door. Just beyond it was Tsunade and behind me would be Deidara, farther away. More steps would have to be taken to see him than if I was to just walk into the room and enter. How many steps did it take the actual Sasori to get here? Did he hesitate at the door? Again my hand clenched the handle, "No, I'm fine." I murmured.

I turned the handle and pushed it slightly open to only a crack. I took no steps. She waited for me to be the first to move. I didn't actually look at her but I'm sure that was her intentions.

"Shizune? Is that you?" Tsunade's voice drawled. Shizune didn't respond, once again I got the feeling that she was testing me. "Shizune?" Still there wasn't a response and I turned slightly to look over my shoulder at her. She was watching me sadly with her large brown eyes and just as I turned back there was a weary Tsunade, standing in the doorway, watching us with slight annoyance, "Why didn't you answer me? And you brought Da-"

"Sasori. She brought Sasori with her." I answer. The emotion I felt wasn't explainable. Only I knew that the voice sounded distant and not my own.

For the first time her eyes widened, a showing of emotion, "Where'd you learn that name?" I didn't answer because I had lost my voice, the one that decided to speak on its own also left on its own.

"Shizune?" She looked pointedly at her, a slight tension in her voice, and her hand now gripping the door with a visible tautness.

"The memory scanner."

There was a slight tremor that went through her before she sighed and forced herself to relax, "I see. Come in, Shizune and… Sasori." She turned and walked back in the lab. At one point her hand ran through her hair but it was soon busy with messing with some equipment as she approached one of the carts next to her desk.

I took some steps, each feeling more weighted than the last. I wasn't sure if I was approaching Tsunade or if I was avoiding her. Actually I didn't know when I started commanding my feet to walk. Once I was somewhat in the middle of the room I paused. Shizune passed me without a glance, walking over to Tsunade and just as I was about to actually look at them, I hear heavy breathing coming from a corner of the room. Questioningly, I turned slowly to look at who had made the noise.

Yeah, it's worse than usual. You remember asking me, Danna, last night if there was something worse than pain? I said what was worse for me? Well, you see, for some people what's worse isn't their own pain but having to watch or know that the people close to them are hurting.His eyes were closed and his breathing was visibly labored. The skin was a sickish yellow and his dark hair was slick with sweat, framing against his face. He was strapped to one of the beds, angled at a degree where I could perfectly see him. Every now and again he twitched. It almost looked like he was sleeping but something told me it was probably more correct to say he was on the verge of unconsciousness.

"So what do you think?... Sasori? Sasori? Sasori!" I blinked, just now registering her words and turned to look at Tsunade… holding a clipboard. It was if there wasn't another person here and it was just another check up.

I turned back to look at him, "… I-" accept this, this looks wrong, this is wrong, "I… don't understand why you have to use him." I thought of Itachi and of what he might look like if he saw this sight. I didn't like the image.

There was the clacking of her heels as she walked over to him, checking the monitor by his bed, "His body is reacting with the change of new cells. He should be okay in a couple of days."

And if he's not? My mouth felt dry. "Oh."

At that moment the boy clenched his teeth, hissing almost as a wave of tremors passed through him. I didn't look away. Deidara probably would've.

"Any questions on what you saw?" None that I wanted answered, really. What could she say that could possibly made any of this easier?

"I just want to help."

She quirked an eyebrow, "Help whom?"

"Whomever you think I'll be able to."

She looked at me for a long while, "And why's that?"

I looked back at Sasuke, his quivering body but really all I could think of was of the others with their pain and the words that Sasori had said, and how what they were doing was helping others. How Shizune said this wasn't right but it was also necessary, "Because someone has to be willing to."

She wrote something down on her paper and once again he screamed, his body convulsing even more. He was biting down on his lip, the teeth tearing into flesh. Both Tsunade and Shizune seemed to not be bothered by this but this again felt so wrong. But necessary right? When does the human pain become progress? When did this become okay?

Nothing really went through my mind when I walked over to him and from across the room I hear Shizune stop moving and Tsunade had likewise stopped writing, staring intently at me. But this was all just processed, for the first time I hadn't actually been thinking of them at all, when I walked over to his bed. His eyes were closed, the strained line between his eyebrows.

Slowly I reached out and grabbed his hand. The palm was sweaty but after a few seconds of rigidness, I felt him likewise clasp my hand in a painful grip. That was okay though. I could take some of his hurt if it helped him… and Deidara. If Deidara didn't have to feel the pain he was feeling anymore than I would do it.

Sasuke's eyes, although still evident in pain, had slowly opened and he raised his ebony eyes to stare into mine and immediately I asked myself once again: when does this become progress?

Welp that was literally done at 4:00 A.M like, sorry guys for this being awful and short. I'll make it up by writing a legit chapter this weekend, but you gotta wait for the weekend!