I don't own anything DC.

"Uncle Barry, where do babies come from?"

Barry nearly flinched off the couch, internally panicking for a moment before turning his frantic gaze toward Iris. She continued to stare at the report she was typing up, clearly pretending not to have heard the question.

Wally was sitting on the floor in front of them, looking between his aunt and uncle expectantly, and eyes brimming with curiosity. His fingers absently fiddled with a chess piece from the game he and his uncle had been playing moments prior. Barry sort of wished he could run backwards and return to those precious moments, he wondered if Wally could be distracted into forgetting the question.

Iris chuckled beside him and closed her laptop with a smile at Wally. "I'll go make you boys a snack." She said as she stood, Barry shot her a pleading look but she turned away. He hoped she could sense the hurt and betrayal he was sending her way as she disappeared into the kitchen. From the sudden bouts of light giggling originating from the other room, she was clearly finding amusement from this.

"Uncle Barry?" Barry twitched, glancing down the sweet, beautiful, earnest, horrible, terrible, innocently evil face of his nephew and promptly looked away. He noticed the that fence outside the window could use a fresh coat of paint, maybe he could run to the local hardware-

"Uncle Barry?" Wally repeated uncertainly, face and voice tinged with confusion and worry, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, er-" an idea struck him. "Wally how old are you? You're only four, right? Right?" He cleared his throat to hide the hint of desperation that had entered his voice.

Wally's face twisted in indignation and he put down the chess piece, "No uncle Barry! I'm six and three quarters!" He held out his fingers to demonstrate his point.

"Heh, right. Well," he began, attempting to collect his thoughts and looking anywhere but at the almost-seven-year-old in front of him. He was a hero, saved the city, heck, the world multiple times before, this should be a cake walk!

Should, but wasn't. He would rather be facing the entirety of his Rogues at the moment (why was his communicator so quiet!? Were all the bad guys on vacation? Figures.) But he knew Iris would castrate him if he used such an excuse to get out of this situation.

As if sensing his uneasiness, Wally spoke up "It's okay uncle Barry, you don't have to tell me." Wally was providing him an out! Relief flooded him and he relaxed into his seat, but he knew that he'd never forgive himself if he ran from this.

Speaking of running, something didn't sit right with him.

"Wally, did you ask your dad first?" Wally froze, then flushed, then fumbled for an excuse as Barry's eyes narrowed, "Did something happen?"

Wally's eyes widened, "No!" he squeaked, "It's just, I'm not supposed to tell you, it's a secret." Wally gasp then slapped his hands over his mouth, staring at Barry with horrified eyes.

Ideas and scenarios were running through Barry's head at light speed, few of them good. "Wally, what are you hiding from me?" Wally flinched and looked away in guilt, it almost killed Barry to see his precious nephew so sad and anxious and there was no doubt in Barry's mind that Wally was not at fault, "If there's something going on, I have to know."

"I can't," the boy replied determinedly, "I promised daddy I wouldn't tell you. He said you'd be angry."

Oh, he was angry all right and he was going to get to the bottom of this. Right, now. "Wally, stay here, I'm going to talk to your aunt Iris for a moment," he paused, at Wally's startled look, before adding "Wally, you've done absolutely nothing wrong, I'll be right back."

Barry stood up at the same time that the door bell rang and the West's entered. He whirled around and was at the door so quickly that for a moment, he thought he may have given himself away as the Flash. "Rudolf! What is this secret that you have your son keeping from me?"

Leaning away from the man who as practically in his face, Rudolf West studied him for a moment, and then he held up his hands in a peace gesture.

"Daddy! I'm sorry, I asked him!" Wally shouted as he barreled past Barry to hug his father legs, Mary looked over her husband's shoulder, staring at the boys in astonishment.

Iris walked out of the kitchen with a tray of juice and sandwiches, "What's going on in here?"

"You didn't tell him the secret?" Rudolf asked his son, he sighed when Wally shook his head, "Barry, I think there's been a misunderstanding." Barry huffed and folded his arms.

"Well? I'm listening." Rudolf glanced at his wife nervously; she was also watching him expectantly. He gulped and tried to joke, "Maybe we shouldn't get the wives involved?"

Mary wasn't having any of it; she planted her hands on her hips and glared at her husband. Barry thought that the look could send Superman running for his life. "Rudolf Robert West!"

"Okay, Okay!" The man yelped, practically flailing his hands to placate his irate wife. He grasp Wally by the shoulders and nudged him away from his legs so he could look him in the eye. "Son, you can tell them about our secret."

Wally's eyes nearly bulged from his head, a look of utter pain playing across his face. "But daddy! What about-"

"Wally."

Face morphing into one of anger and disappointment, Wally realized he was the center of attention, both figuratively and literally as the adults surrounded him. So he twisted his fingers together behind his back, looked down and obediently answered, "When I asked daddy where babies came from he said he would buy me ice cream if I asked Uncle Barry instead."

"Rudolf!" Mary practically shrieked, turning to her husband in angry shock. For her part, Iris looked she was barely keeping from laughing and Barry found a new respect for the man, he didn't think Rudolf had it in him to be so conniving.

"Does this mean I don't get any ice cream, daddy?" Wally asked with watery eyes, successfully drawing everyone's attention back to him.

Mary crouched down and put a hand on her son's shoulder. "No, sweetie, daddy'll buy you ice cream." And with venomous eyes she glanced at her husband, "Right, dear?"

Rudolf nearly jumped out of his skin but took a moment to compose himself before answering. "Yes, honey." Mary smiled as she looked back toward her son.

"And while you're getting ice cream, he'll tell you where babies come from, right dear?" This time she deliberately kept from looking at Rudolf, though Wally was perhaps the only one in the room oblivious to the malice rolling off her.

"Right." Rudolf replied, he was remarkably calm, if a little rigid. "Alright Wally, are you ready to go now?"

"Yes, daddy!" Wally chirped excitedly, slipping his hand into his father's and tugging him toward the door.

As father and son walked trudged down the steps of his porch, Barry couldn't help but smile. Although he was still a bit embarrassed he had jumped the gun, it was a greater relief that he had come to the completely wrong conclusion. Mostly though, he was immensely glad that he was off the hook.

"Barry…"

Or maybe not.

Fandom seems to like portraying Wally's father as abusive in all continuities so I thought I would try my hand at playing around with the idea.

Hope it wasn't horrible.