Chapter One

A/N: There's a few things I really wanted to change with Beautiful Tragedy, I know a lot of you don't understand, but think of it as a book that needs revising. I hope you enjoy

Walking through the cemetery, Ana felt her emotions already getting the best of her as tears began to prick in her eyes. Today marked year today since Christian died. She could still remember the day the police told her that they were stopping the search, that there was no possible way that he could find his way back. The day Christian died, Ana died along side with him. She was now only a shell of the girl that she once was, she lived each day as a zombie, she woke up knowing that it would be another disappointment, another day she had to bear the life without the man she loved, without the man she would always love.

They'd located Ros, not far from the crashed plane, but Christian was never anywhere to be found, not even his body. Ana remembered the first months of his death, refusing to believe he was dead. She'd convinced herself that because of the fact that they'd never found a body, because of the fact that Ros somehow survived that Christian was out there somewhere, lost and alone, and eventually he'd make it back to her. It took an intervention from the Grey's and her own family to snap her out of it, and even though she finally accepted the reality that Christian wasn't coming home, there was always that small part of her that hoped he'd walk through the door.

She lived with so many regrets, there was so many things that she never got to say, and a question that she never got to answer. It seemed like yesterday that Christian proposed, though she knew her answer would be yes all along, she never got the chance to tell him that. All she had left, was a keychain that said yes. It was like a knife twisting in her heart at the thought that she'd never be able to fix the regrets she had, she'd never be able to tell him how much she loved him, or how much she did in fact want to spend forever with him. She often wondered what it would be like now, if Christian was still alive. She imagined them being married, in a big house with more rooms than she cared to count.

"Christian miss you so much. I have no idea where the time has gone, Christian, you were my entire world and in one moment you were just gone. I never even got the chance to tell you how much I loved you, or that I wanted to be your wife, I never even got the chance to say goodbye. It hurts so much. It seems that sunny days are the ones that hurt the most, I don't know how to move on, or how to let you go, Christian. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I'm breathing, but I'm not really living anymore. When you died, you took everything, you took every ounce of happiness, and I don't know how to move on from you. I can't. When we read your will and I had found out that you left everything to me, in that moment I knew that I would always carry this regret of not saying yes to you before life could take you away from me. It was easy to fall in love with you, and I carry love every single day. Why did you have to leave me, why did that plane crash have to take you away? I miss you. I don't want this life, not without you. I don't want any of it." Ana cried into the stone, every word she spoke came from the heart. She just wanted him back, no life was worth living if she didn't have the man she loved to be a part of it.

"He loved you, dear. I hope that you know that." Grace's voice came from behind. Ever since the accident Ana had made sure not to abandon the family she found with the Grey's. They'd told her from day one, that although Christian was no longer with them, that she was still very much a part of their family. "He still holds the biggest part of my heart. How do I move on from that?" She asked out loud. The question wasn't really pointed towards Grace, it had just been something that Ana wondered from time to time.

"You keep inside of that huge heart of ours Ana. Christian loved you, and he would have wanted you to be happy. He gave you everything he owned, remember? He wanted you to be set for life if anything had ever happened to him. He wouldn't want this for you though, Ana. He wouldn't want you to barely be living, and isolating yourself from the people who love you."

"I just wish that I could have had more time. I don't know how to be around anyone, especially all of you knowing that he's gone, just being in Escala, it breaks me. I've not been there in months."

"We love you, Ana. We've already lost our son, we don't want to lose you too, but even though he's not here with us physically, he'll always be in our hearts. I have something for you Ana. I don't know where what it is, but Christian's lawyer brought it by this morning. I've got give him credit, he was always prepared for the worst. He directed him to give it to you if anything had ever happened to him, but he wanted it to be a year after the fact." Grace said, digging into her purse a pulling out an envelope "I'm going to go over there, and wait. I'll give you time to read it."

My dearest Anastasia,

If you're reading this letter, it means I'm gone. And while I hope you never have to receive this letter, if you ever do I want you to know just how much I loved you in the time I known you. The day you fell into my office, changed my entire life and not a day went by that I didn't want to be closer to you. You made me into a better man, one that I'll always be proud of. One that my parents had been proud of. And that's all I ever wanted, to be a man that my mom could love. You are my hero, baby. You saved me from myself, and a life with you was one that I always wanted. And even though we won't have that together, I don't want you to not have that with someone else. I once told you the thought of anyone else having is like a knife twisting in my dark soul, but I want you to have happiness if I shall ever not be around. And if you happen to find someone new, that's okay. I want you to love him the way you loved me. Give him that beautiful heart of yours that I was blessed to hold the key to for such a short time. Don't give up on love because I'm not here with you. But if I may ask one favor, don't forget me. Don't forget all the memories we had together, it's something I'll always cherish with you. I love you so much and if you're reading this just know that I'll always be a part of you. Forever.

I love you.

Christian.

As she dropped the letter to the ground, she ended up in a ball on the ground as her tears came flowing, God how she missed him.