A/N: Hellooooo everyone! :) It's so good to be back on here! :) I know it's only been like..one and a half weeks since "Our Summer" ended but it seems like FOREVER! :O
So, we hit 100 likes on my facebook page "Princess Tiva" and I promised to post a one-shot if that happens! :) You chose and here it is: A tag to 11x02. (As if we didn't already have enough feels haha)
Random fact: The title was inspired by a line from "Holding on and letting go" ;)
Summary: "I came here to bring you back home. I was not gonna leave without you. You're making me leave without you." Tony spends all summer searching for Ziva in Israel and finally finds her. What could have been in "Past, Present and Future". One-shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of its characters. And I do not own the scenes/lines from "Past, Present and Future". However, the other ideas are mine lol (yay that's something! :D)
Please enjoy reading! :)
Tony spotted the house right in the middle of nowhere and his heart almost stopped. He'd been searching for her all summer and this was the last place he had been able to come up with.
He'd been to all the places he'd found in the folder Orli had given to him. A thousand thoughts were on his mind in that moment. What if she wasn't here? He couldn't just give her up after all.
But what else was he supposed to do? He had no idea where else she could be. Slowly he made his way over to the house. He took a deep breath and softly knocked on the door. Nothing. He knocked again. Still nothing.
His heart sank and he sighed deeply. Now what was he supposed to do? This was like his worst nightmare becoming reality. Three month ago everything had seemed so easy.
They'd been sending IMs and she'd literally invited him to Israel. He hadn't even hesitated a second to book the flight but then the stupid attack on his apartment had happened and he hadn't been able to get on the plane.
One thing had led to another and suddenly Ziva had been missing and now here he was, searching for her. He'd been in Israel for three months now and he still hadn't found her.
He wasn't gonna give up though. He was going to find her. He wasn't gonna return home without her. Not again. He looked around and saw a small path leading to the back of the house.
He slowly walked towards the path and walked around the house. His heart stopped when he spotted her curly hair. She was sitting at a small table, perhaps reading a book.
He couldn't tell though, she had her back to him after all. He took a few steps closer to her. "Ziva", he breathed. She jumped off the chair and spun around to face him.
He felt tears pooling in his eyes when his eyes met hers. "I found you. Oh God, I found you", he whispered, taking another step closer to her. She looked at him confused.
"How..?", she stuttered, obviously at a loss for words. He smiled at her and reached out to touch her shoulders. When she didn't back away, he pulled her to his chest and buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent.
God, how he'd missed her. He'd been so afraid that he'd never see her again. "I thought I had lost you", he admitted quietly. She tensed momentarily but didn't say anything.
"I found you", he whispered again. He couldn't quite believe that he'd found her. It was still like a dream sequence. Eventually though Ziva pulled away and took a step backwards.
"Are you okay?", he asked as he saw the worry etched to Ziva's features. She bit her lip and ducked her head. "Ziva?", he questioned, taking another step closer to her.
She looked up and their eyes met. His heart broke when he saw the tears glistening in her eyes. "I..I am not coming back to DC", she whispered. He dropped his hand that he'd reached out to touch her arm.
"What?", he asked under his breath. "I am sorry", she whispered, her voice breaking. "No, Ziva", he whispered. "No, listen, I've been looking for you all summer. I..I'm not leaving without you", he told her firmly, trying to keep his voice even.
He was well aware of his choice of words. She'd used the exact same words a year ago when they'd ended up being stuck in the elevator together. "Tony", she breathed, trying desperately to find the words, but couldn't.
"Listen, I have time. Can we please figure this out? Together?", he pleaded. She was silent for a moment but eventually nodded. She took his hand and led him into the house. She could at least give him the chance to understand. That was the least she could do after all.
"You know how hard that was", Tony questioned as he closed the laptop after ending the video chat with McGee and Gibbs. Ziva sighed. "Gibbs was wrong", she eventually said.
"I did not want you to find me and yet you did", she continued. "I should have told him", Tony muttered. She dropped her arm from the door frame and headed inside the house again.
Tony got up and quickly followed her to the living room. "You cannot be down my door one minute and expect me to face my old life again the next", she said in frustration, walking further into the room.
"Hey", he shouted. She stopped and turned to look at him. "I had to take the call", he tried to defend himself, his voice giving away just how much her reaction was affecting him.
"You did not have to do any of this", she stated bitterly, then added: "Why are you here?" He stared at her. Did she really just ask that? Wasn't it obvious why he was here?
"Because you invited me", he retorted. "That was before", she said, her voice softer again. "Before what?", he questioned, lowering his voice as well. She looked at him sadly, then said: "You should not have come."
Before he could say or do anything, she'd walked out the door, leaving him. He sighed and sat down on the couch. Why was she making this so hard? Why couldn't she just come home with him?
She had finally told him what was going on about an hour ago and he didn't like it one bit. He had noticed the finality in her words. She was convinced that she was the center of all the pain in her life.
She was convinced that she needed to start over with her life. And no matter how often he'd tried to convince her that this wasn't her, she hadn't listened to him. However, he was not gonna give up on her just yet.
He had offered to make a new "I Will"-List with her and they had done just that. Now they were in the backyard of the house and Ziva was burying the box with the list.
When she was done, she stood up and he mirrored her actions. "Feel better?", he asked softly. "No. But it is a start", she replied. At least she was being honest.
"You don't have to do this alone", he told her. After a short pause, he went on: "Come back to DC with me." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "The first thing on my new list was I will let go of the badge", she reminded him.
"I'm not talking about NCIS. Listen, you can bag groceries for all I care. Just come home", he tried again. He took a deep breath. "I just..I just want you to come home. With me", he whispered, his voice breaking.
She shook her head and turned to leave. "I don't think that's..", she started but he cut her off when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. "Hey, listen. I know it's h-hard. And I know you wanna change. I can change with you", he whispered, his voice breaking yet again and his eyes filling with tears.
She stared at him in disbelief but he just smiled softly. He took her hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing her fingers gently. Then he cradled her hand in his before letting go of it again.
When he let go of her hand, she surprised him, however. She brought her hands up to frame his face and moved them over his cheek until they were resting on his neck.
She leaned her forehead against his, not breaking eye-contact until eventually her eyes slid closed. He was lost in the moment and allowed his eyes to shut as well.
"I'm fighting for you, Ziva", he whispered, not caring how desperate it sounded. "I know", she whispered back. He tightened his hold on her waist before moving his hands to the small of her back.
He allowed his hands to slip beneath her shirt, his fingers tracing her skin. Her fingers had found the hairs on the back of his neck and their faces were slowly moving closer to together.
He couldn't even make out the exact moment. All he knew was that suddenly their lips were touching in the softest kiss. Their lips fit perfectly against each other and were completely moving in sync.
The kiss slowly grew heated though, eight years of pent up passion and emotions being poured into that one kiss. He traced her bottom lip with his tongue and she parted her lips, granting him access.
Their tongues met and really, a bomb could have gone off next to them and they wouldn't have noticed in that moment. He drew her closer to him and she willingly went with it.
Eventually though they broke the kiss, both gasping for air. She rested her forehead against his again and tried to control her breathing. When she finally did, her eyes opened, looking right into his.
She wanted to say a million things but nothing felt like the right thing to say. And actions spoke louder than words anyway, so she decided to let the actions do the talking.
She moved her hand down his arm and eventually found his hand at her back. She interlaced their fingers and then moved away from him. Ziva looked into his eyes, asking the question she didn't dare to ask.
The ghost of a smile flashed across Tony's face and his eyes conveyed the answer she needed. She tugged at his hand and led him back to the house.
He woke up the next morning and smiled when he saw Ziva's head resting on his bare chest. Their bare legs were tangled together and she was half on top of him.
Her hand was resting just above his heart while his arm was around her, holding her to his side. Memories of the previous night flashed before his eyes and he smiled even brighter.
It had been everything he'd thought it would be – and more. He couldn't help but wonder what this meant for them. In the heat of the moment they'd both said the three words last night, admitted their feelings for each other.
He was sure that he'd meant it but he wasn't so sure about Ziva. He wasn't sure about anything when it came to her lately. Only yesterday had she asked him why he was here and then suddenly they'd ended up in bed together.
He knew that this would make a possible farewell ten times worse. But it had been worth it. Definitely. He wouldn't have had it any other way. He loved her. He always had and he would always love her.
He would never find someone like her ever again. He would never be able to love someone like he loved her. It just wasn't possible. His arm tightened around her on its own accord.
He wouldn't be able to leave her behind. He just wouldn't be able to do it. He had been serious the other day when he'd told her he wasn't leaving without her.
He couldn't lose her, not again. He couldn't live without her after all. He felt Ziva stir next to him and smiled softly when she opened her eyes and looked at him. "Good morning", he whispered.
She smiled and leaned up to kiss him, surprising him. "Good morning", she replied, settling back against his chest. She pressed a kiss to his hairy chest and sighed.
"I love you", she said and his heart stopped for a second before starting to beat wildly. It took him a moment to comprehend what she'd just said. "I..I love you, too, Ziva. So much", he eventually said when he'd found his voice again.
She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and pressed feather light kisses to his skin there. "Come home with me", he whispered. She stopped dead in her tracks and then just lay next to him.
"I told you I cannot", she replied. She'd made the mistake of keeping her eyes open and locked on his though. He'd always been able to read what she couldn't say in her eyes and he now saw the regret and sadness there.
"Ziva, this isn't you. This isn't what you want. You belong in DC, not here. Your family is in DC", he tried again. She didn't show any reaction. "Come home with me", he whispered, his voice breaking.
She ran her hand through his hair lovingly and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. "I cannot loose you, Ziva. Please come home with me", he pleaded, locking his eyes on hers again.
She cupped his cheek with her hand and he saw tears pooling in her eyes. "I love you", he finally whispered, his voice shaking and a tear rolling down his cheek. She kissed him deeply.
"I know. I love you, too", she whispered back. And they left it at that. There was nothing else to say. For now. Because, well, he wasn't gonna let her go without a fight.
Three weeks later they walked onto the tarmac of the airport together. The plane was already there and people were boarding. They had spent the past weeks together and their relationship had grown.
Tony had been convinced that she was gonna come home with him. However, two days ago Ziva had told him that she had arranged a flight for him and that she wasn't coming with him.
He had been shocked to say the least. He had confronted her about it of course. Why lead him on when she had never intended to come home with him? Why take his heart that he'd given to her years ago and shatter it into a million pieces?
Ziva stopped close to the plane and faced Tony. "There's still time for you to change your mind", he said, the last shimmer of hope glistening in his eyes. She looked away, avoiding his eyes.
He nodded bitterly, then asked: "What am I gonna tell people?" "That you were right. I have to start over", she replied, finally looking at him again. He mentally cursed himself for telling her to start over three weeks ago.
Had he known it would lead to this, he would have never said it. "Okay. You and I both know that's not gonna be enough for Abby", he said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. She sighed.
"Tell her that I am..honoring Gibbs", she eventually said. "Gibbs?", he asked in disbelief. "Stop this for him", she said, tears pooling in her eyes. His face fell but he tried to hide it.
"Of course. Gibbs", he stated. Ever since talking to the Doc – who had turned out to be the enemy – he had actually hoped that she had indeed meant him by 'Stop this for him'. Obviously though, he had been wrong. Again.
"I want to make him proud. He taught me to follow my heart and I know that I have to..", she started but trailed off. She gulped and took a deep breath. "I..I have to do this..alone", she said, fighting against the lump in her throat.
"I have to let go of everything or I will be pulled back to where I started", she finally said but it sounded more like a question. She didn't sound very convinced of her own choice and the tears in her eyes and her voice breaking didn't help the picture one bit.
"Tell Abby that for me", Ziva said, after a short pause. "She'll understand", she murmured, obviously not convinced of her own words. They both knew Abby wouldn't understand.
And they both knew that this wasn't about Abby. This was about them. She was trying to make him understand but it was hard when she herself didn't even understand her own reasons.
"I will", Tony promised softly. They were silent for a while, until Tony spoke up again: "So what about Gibbs? You gonna call him?" She sighed, tears now rolling down her cheeks.
"I don't know", she breathed. He chuckled bitterly. "You gotta call the guy", he said firmly. "I don't know if I can", she admitted and it broke Tony's heart to see her like that.
She was obviously not happy with her own decision and he couldn't understand why she was doing this to herself. Why could she not just come home with him? Why was she making this harder than it needed to be?
"Oh, it'll be fine. You know how he is on the phone. Functional mode. You'll hardly know he's there", Tony assured her, making her laugh for a split second. God, how he loved to be the one to make her laugh.
He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. "He's a good listener", he then added. They were silent again but this time it was Ziva who broke the silence first.
"Tony, you are so..", she started but trailed off. But he wasn't gonna let her go that easily again. She had left that sentence open far too many times in the past half year.
He was gonna make sure that this time she finished it. "Handsome? Funny? What?", he questioned, taking a step closer to her. She took a deep breath, then tilted her head to the side and in no more than a breath said: "Loved."
The way she said that one word made Tony's heart flutter. Sure, she'd told him she loved him on more than once occasion in the past three weeks. But the way she'd said it just now..it was worth so much.
He smiled at her. A sad and loving smile. His hand found it's way to the side of her face and into her hair. They looked deep into each others eyes and then in one swift movement, their lips met in a passionate kiss, tongues tangling together.
His hand found it's way to the back of her head and he pulled her even closer, deepening the kiss. When their first kiss broke, he kissed her again, less heated this time. He pulled back again, then moved in to kiss her one final time, a loving and meaningful kiss.
He looked at her when he pulled back and saw that her eyes were still closed. He had left her completely breathless. When she finally opened her eyes, she leaned her forehead against Tony's, just like she'd done in the backyard three weeks ago.
"This is not the end, Tony. Three weeks cannot be everything we will ever have", she whispered. His heart stopped for a second. Had he heard her correctly? "Then come home with me", he pleaded again.
"I have to do this. I have to stay here and sort things out for myself", she said quietly. Before he go the chance to argue though, she spoke up again: "I am doing this for us."
He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I just want you to come home with me", he reminded her. "I know", she assured him, her hand cupping his cheek. "I love you, Tony. But I need some time to find my way back on track again. And Israel is where I have to do this. This is not the end, Tony", she explained.
"How long?", he asked. He needed to know. "I do not know. And I understand if you do not want to wait for me..", she started but trailed off. It was too painful for her to think about the possibility of him not waiting for her, moving on.
"You know..I have been thinking about starting an "I Will"-List myself. The first thing on my list was gonna be 'I will wait for her'", he admitted and she gasped.
"I love you, Ziva. I came here to bring you back home. I was not gonna leave without you. You're making me leave without you. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life", he told her quietly.
She kissed his lips almost desperately. "I will come home to you. Just give me some time to find my way again. But I promise you, I will come home to you. I love you", she whispered, the tears now flowing down her cheeks.
She didn't bother to wipe them away though. Tony was crying, too, after all. And God, it was okay to cry after all. Especially in front of him. She didn't have to hide anything from him. He was her soul mate.
"I will wait for you forever, Ziva. Just please don't make me wait too long. You know I can't live without you", he murmured. She smiled into the kiss when he pressed his lips to hers again.
When they broke the kiss, she pulled back from him and handed him his jacket. "You are going to miss your flight", she said and he nodded. However, he was smiling when he walked backwards, his hand touching hers until the last possible second.
She was gonna come home to him. God, she was really gonna come home to him. He would give her all the time she needed to find her way again. Even if it meant he wouldn't see her for a few months.
If this was what it took to make her happy and to have her..well, he would do anything for her. He blew her an air-kiss when he waved from the top of the stairs to the airplane and she smiled through her tears, blowing him a kiss as well.
She watched as he boarded the plane and couldn't help but continue smiling through her tears. Yes, it was hard to see him leave but she knew she was gonna see him again. This wasn't the end for them. This was their beginning. And she was gonna make sure not to leave him waiting too long.
Tony sat on the plane, a piece of paper in front of him and a pen in his hand. He had already written 'I Will' on the top of the paper. Just as he was about to write down the first thing, his pen stopped working.
He sighed and reached into the pocket of his jacket to get a new one. However, his fingers touched something else. He pulled the item from his pocket and gasped when he saw Ziva's Star Of David dangling from his fingers.
A soft smile spread across his face and he reached into his pocket again, pulling out a pen. He held the necklace in one hand and wrote with the other: "I will...wait for her."
A/N: And there you have it :)
Please let me know what you think in the reviews section! :) I'd love to hear your thoughts on this :)
I'll try to work on more requests, too. This is just the "celebratory" one-shot as a thank you for 100 facebook likes! (hey, wanna come join the party if you haven't already? :D It's "Princess Tiva" :D)
Love y'all xo,
~ C.