An Honorable Burglar - part 3
by Larrkin

"I already knew almost everything you told me," he said. "If you recall, I was there. My nephews told me the rest."

It was true. I turned to him, finding no rebuke in his eyes, only a mild, contemplative gaze. "You kn-knew almost everything?" I asked.

"I knew the facts, but not the tangled twists and turns of your mind," he said. "So we will talk now, but before we do, young sir, understand this: nothing you have told me makes me think less of you."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

My burglar had clearly expected to be judged as harshly as he had judged himself. He stared at me, tense with astonishment.

So, this was the reason behind his earlier outburst, the uncomfortable 'something' that had been roaring around inside his confused young mind and bringing about his flashes of temper. It had taken me a moment to absorb it. I'd expected him merely to admit that he had not volunteered, that my nephews had pushed him into his mission, whatever that was. I never imagined he would have taken on the responsibility for the entire troll mishap. Considering his intense and mournful crying Master Baggins had been surprised by his confession as well. He had likely avoided thinking about this until I'd forced him to do so. Quite the burden for a halfling who had lived a tranquil, upstanding life and rarely, if ever, had occasion to feel guilty. Small wonder he had snarled at me earlier this evening and fought me so stubbornly thus far. He had assumed a heavy load that was not his to bear. That ended now.

His spanking thus far had not gone on for long, although it surely felt otherwise to him. Still, he put up an entertaining verbal tussle, remaining stubborn and combative not only because he felt he had something to hide, but because he was fighting the idea of being spanked, fighting the notion that anyone would dare spank him, and, in particular, that I would dare spank him. No one had done such a thing to him beyond childhood, so he said. Bilbo Baggins was master of his domain, living a comfortable life so far removed from disciplinary action that he found the entire deed unfathomable. When would he ever have had occasion to find himself at the mercy of another in his peaceful Shire? All of this was new to him, as was the feel of the spanking itself. I understood, and I felt for the little fellow, but until he submitted to me he would be unable to listen to me. And Master Baggins would listen to me. We still had much to go over and we would continue on. But first this crucial matter of confused thinking needed settling.

I sighed and wiped the remaining wetness from his cheeks, saying, "You were not the cause of our troll mishap." He watched me with a somber, bewildered air, as though wondering if he had heard me aright and yearning to hear more of the same. The trolls were still threatening to pull him apart, but now they were in his mind.

He blinked and frowned, looking ready to insist that he was indeed to blame. "No," I said, cutting him off ere he could open his mouth. "No arguments. You had a hand in what happened, aye, but you were not the cause." I lifted my chin, looked down at him, and said, "You must calm yourself now and listen closely, Master Baggins. You need to be able to hear me and talk to me. Can you do this?"

He hiccuped then swallowed hard. "Yes, sir."

"Good." I gave him a nod. "Then let us find the beginning of our troll problem, for there is always a starting point. Do you know what that was?"

"It started because I g-got caught."

I slowly shook my head. "No."

Wearing his puzzled little frown, he said, "It started when I went to free the ponies."

"No."

"But -"

"It did not start with you at all, little burglar. Think back to when you arrived, bringing Kili and Fili their supper. What happened? What were they doing?"

He gazed off past my shoulder for a moment, then said, "They were staring at the ponies."

"And?"

"Annnnnd . . . I asked what was the matter, and they said two ponies were missing."

"Go on."

"They searched around the ponies for a minute or two and came back, and Kili said that Daisy and Bungo were missing."

"What did you say? Tell me your exact words if you can." I watched him study on it, then:

"I said, 'Well, that's not good; not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?'"

"And then?"

"Then Fili said, 'No, let's not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might look into it.'"

"Aye, little one. That's where the troll mishap began, with Fili. My nephews had disobeyed my orders to stay with the ponies. They went to scout around instead. They didn't want me to find out what they had done, so Fili told you I shouldn't be made to worry and they set about trying to solve the missing ponies problem on their own, using you to help them. If Fili and Kili had but come and told me what happened we could have moved the camp far away from the trolls. We would have lost two ponies, but 'tis unlikely the trolls would have bothered to track down the rest of them."

He watched me with a rapt expression, his wide, startled eyes brimming. "I . . . I didn't . . . it wasn't my fault." A few tears slid down his cheeks, and I wiped them away, though he hardly seemed to notice. He was staring off, seeing it all with new understanding.

I let him think on't for a moment, and when he turned to me with a clear-eyed, collected look, I said, "You found yourself in a hard place, little burglar. Your mistake was in letting my nephews force you into something you knew you shouldn't be doing."

"Y-Yes, well, perhaps, but-"

I picked him up, flipped him into place over my lap and patted his rosy bottom. He gasped a strangled sound and cried, "NOOO! Please, please, please! Don't spank me any more! I can't take any morrre!"

I pressed my palm firmly down on his back to settle his squirming and raised my hand, saying, "You have a poor opinion of your own endurance, Master Baggins. Not that it isn't deserved."

"I have no endurance when I'm being s-spanked!"

"Not yet," I said, and I brought my hand down. CRACK!

He went rigid from head to toe, sucked a sharp breath, then yelled. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I spanked him steadily and silently, letting him get used to this again. For a little fellow he certainly could wail. And kick. If he still had his britches on I vow he would have sent them sailing.

"Yes, he is small," Gandalf had said during a private talk I had with him our first night out. "But hobbits are sturdy little folk. Bilbo will have no trouble keeping up with whatever pace you set."

"But, will he obey my orders?"

I had asked. "Without question?"

Gandalf puffed his pipe, then said, "Oh, I think you'll find him to be a most obedient member of your Company."

"And if he is not?"

Raising a brow, the wizard patiently said, "Then you shall needs deal with him as you see fit, of course. And if you do have cause to discipline him, remember what I told you."

"Hobbits are sturdy little folk."

"Indeed they are."

I watched my sturdy little hobbit, his curls flying, his childlike hands clenching fistfuls of his britches and his small, rounded backside bouncing with each swat of my hand, and just as it always was with my nephews, I felt a surge of satisfaction in seeing him stretched out over my lap, the same satisfaction I felt when I had first started spanking him. My burglar was safe, despite his finest efforts to become troll fodder.

"Now, Master Baggins, back to the beginning; why did you lie to me?"

"AHHHHHHHH! Pleeease! No morrre!"

"Try again. And settle down, sir, else I shall close you between my legs and subdue you as I did before."

"NOOOOOOO!"

"Then behave yourself and answer me. We have much to talk about ere I let you up. So be wise. Cooperate and spare your bottom."

"B-But I-I already told you-AHHHHH!"

"Are you arguing with me, young bratling?"

"NOOOOOOO! But I-I-I-"

"You told me what happened," I said, knowing how much harder this question would be for him. "Now you will tell me why you lied."

"T-Tell you a-again?"

"Aye."

He shuddered and went still, realizing what I wanted from him, then he moaned and wept more deeply, his fists opening and closing, squeezing his britches again and again. I waited, easing back, spanking him with slower, lighter swats. I wanted him to feel my steady hand swatting his bottom, but I needed him to concentrate and talk to me now.

He gulped and in a quavering voice, hushed and timid, he rasped, "I-I wanted you to think I was brave 'nuff to v-volunteer. Din-Din't want you to know that they p-pushed me down the p-path. I . . . I w-wanted you to think I had c-courage." And once again he buried his face in his palms and wept.

I could near feel the heat of his tense little body blushing over my lap. If I could have spared him repeating that confession I would have. He had indeed blurted it out earlier, but he had also blurted out his misunderstood guilt and that had needed to be dealt with first. This reason behind his lie had slipped to one side, but it, too, was important.

He deserved a moment before we moved on, so I paused, rested my hand on his bottom and rubbed his back again, enjoying it as much as I had the first time I had done it, watching him calm down as he had before, and when his weeping slowed I quietly said, "You need never prove your courage to me, little one. I know you to be brave."

His crying hitched, then stopped and he pushed up on one arm, turned and looked up at me with wide startled eyes. "You left your home in your peaceful Shire to join a company of strangers on a dangerous, long quest," I said. "That, Master Baggins, took great courage."

He stared at me. "Aye, you made mistakes in this troll mishap, but you have been brave throughout. We owe you our thanks for saving Bombur and for buying us time with your appalling lies. However-" I pushed him back down and began spanking him at my normal speed and strength again.

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Lying to me as you did earlier tonight is unacceptable. I understand why you did it, but I shall not tolerate it. 'Tis best you learn that now and save your wee bottom more of this. Lie to me, little one, and you shall end up right back where you are. Understand?"

"Y-Yes, yes, yessss! Un-Unnerstand!" He kicked and cried, even though I had eased off and was spanking him easily again. "No ly-ying. S-Sor-ry-"

"I know," I said. "But save your sorries until we are finished, remember?"

"More? There's more s-spank-ohh, nooooooooo!"

"Indeed there is more, little burglar, beginning with what happened between you and my nephews."

"Ohhhnooo! Pleeeease!"

"Stop that," I said. "Settle down. I am spanking you lightly now."

"But it feeeels B-BIG!"

I snorted and moved on. "What did you say to Kili and Fili when you saw that the ponies were missing and the trees were uprooted?"

He let fly a small aggravated huff, making me grin at his audacity. Master Baggins had entered that childlike state wherein boldness sometimes made an unsuitable appearance. Aye, my little grocer was doing well.

"I already t-told you-AHHH!"

"Tell me again."

"I said, 'S-Shouldn't we tell Thor-rin?'" he sputtered.

"That would have been the best thing to do. Why then did you back down when Fili said no?"

He hesitated, then said, "Because he's a warrior. I-I thought he knew b-best."

That wasn't the only reason, however, I let it go for the moment, saying, "But as you now know, Fili's decision was based not on what might be the best thing to do, but on a desire to save his skin."

He choked a low sob. "Uh-huuuh."

"Your instincts were sound, little one. So should you have listened to Fili, or should you have followed your much wiser heart and come to find me?"

"Sh-Should've come to y-you."

"Indeed." And rather than dragging the rest from him I quietly added, "But perhaps you longed to be a comrade rather than an informant. Fili and Kili were including you. You liked that. So you wanted to help them."

He writhed, as though trying to wriggle away from this new and painful moment. "P-P'raps," he rasped.

"That is understandable, little one. However your instincts to seek help were good ones," I said, increasing the speed and strength of my swats.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"How do you know when you are doing something wrong?"

"I-I get a bad, s-scary feeling in-inside! AHHHHH!"

"Aye. So the next time you are tempted to follow my nephews into something you know you shouldn't do I expect you to pay heed to that bad, scary feeling inside and follow your wiser instincts instead. Understand?"

"AHHHHHHHHHH! Yesssirr! Unnerstand!"

"Very good, little one." I eased off again, spanking lightly. "This brings us to your choice to approach the trolls. Again, you knew better than to do something that dangerous."

Master Baggins jumped to his own defense. "I-I-I did know it! I did! I kept saying n-no! I didn't w-want to go!"

"And yet you went."

"They made me! Said it was pert-fically safe. Said they'd be r-right behind me, then they p-pushed me down the p-path, then . . . . Pleeeeease stop spanking meee!"

"No."

"But I'll be gooood!"

I grinned again. "Good little grocers do as they are told. Continue."

He groaned, then said, "S-So, I started out and-and when I turned 'round they were gone."

"You objected, they insisted, then they pushed you forward and abandoned you. Why did you continue on?"

He froze, thought it over, then gave a few violent kicks and cried, "I don't knowww!"

Again, rather than force him through more difficult reflection when he was fast becoming less than able, I said, "You do know. You told me yourself earlier tonight. You said, "If I'm a burglar then I'm a burglar and it's best I do my job." Then you said that you were not inept and that I had hired you to be a burglar and it was time you started to make a contribution. Do you recall those words?"

Weeping steadily, he nodded. "Uh-huh. I s-said that. All that."

"Aye, indeed you did. You were most insistent. And I vow those same thoughts went through your head when you decided to do something you knew you should not do, something that frightened you, and for good reason."

He nodded. "Uh-huhhh."

"But my nephews had given you a charge and now you were on your own, so you steeled yourself and pressed on towards the trolls. You wanted to prove your courage to Fili, to Kili, to all of us. Here was your first chance to show that you were a worthy burglar, a valuable member of this Company. Is that not so?"

He moaned into the soft cloth beneath his face, and nodded again, too overcome to utter a word. In part I wanted to let him hide in his embarrassment, hide from admitting what had driven him. But this was too crucial a matter. The memory of him suspended between those trolls flashed before me again, and I frowned and gave him a single hard swat. "Answer me!"

"AHHH! YES!YES!YES!" Then he collapsed shivering and slipping into a sad shuddery crying. "Yesssirrr. I thought j-just what you said I d-did. All of it. You're right 'bout all of it."

"Then I shall tell you again, there is no need to demonstrate your courage to me, nor to anyone."

"I knowwwww! I could'a turned b-back and I-I could'a come and told you 'bout the p-ponies and I din't! W-Wanted to be a brave hero! S-So it WAS all my fault! It w-was!"

Reasonable of him to feel freshly guilty after learning where he made his mistakes, but he had once again taken on too much. I spanked him firmly and steadily now, much to the dismay of my impressively loud halfling. His backside had turned a warm reddish hue and I knew he was reaching his limit, but these last lessons were all-important, so I tipped my knee up once more, and began swatting the lightly pink curve under his bottom, saying, "I must not have spanked you enough if you have already forgotten what you learned."

He shot up and arched his back. "AHHHHHHHH! NOOO! AHHHHHH! D-Din't forget!"

"Tell me then. Go back to the beginning. When did this troll mishap start?"

He knew at once. "W-When Fili said, n-no, we shouldn't tell youuu!"

"So was everything all your fault?"

"N-NOOO! No, sirrr. Not all. Not,not,not all my fault!"

"Very good." I lowered my knee and began spanking him lightly, careful now of his red bottom. "You were responsible for some of it, little grocer, and that's why you are over my knee."

"S-Some," he muttered. "Sponslip-ple for some."

"Aye. Some. This time. But there shall always be consequences for misbehavior. I intend to see you survive this quest, Master Baggins. If you get into mischief again and again I shall turn you over my knee and spank you again and again.

"You are a member of this Company, subject to a warrior's code of obedience to orders. So I am now giving you a direct order, sir. You will listen to and obey your wiser self when you are confronted with a dangerous choice, and in times of peril you shall stay to the rear as long as possible. You were not hired to be a warrior, little one. I have thirteen warriors. I have only one burglar. And I shall not allow you to risk yourself."

I rested my hand on his small, hot bottom, listening to the remorseful sound of his low sobbing. "Now," I said in a patient voice, "what have you to say to me?"

"I-I-I-" he gasped and coughed and hiccuped amidst his crying, but could get nothing else out.

"Shhhh," I said, rubbing his back again, and rubbing his hot bottom as well. "Shhh. No more spanking. Easy now. Breathe, little one. Take a moment and breathe. That is an order."

Ahh. Obedient wee halfling. He lay still, weeping raggedly and drawing in some long gulping breaths, then: "S-Sorrryyy," he ventured in a small voice, "Sorry,sorry,sorry, sooooooo sorrryyy, s-sir."

I waited, but he said nothing else. I had to know why he was apologizing lest those tangled twists of his mind land him in the wrong place again. "What are you sorry for?"

"S-Sorry for my part w-with the trolls," he rasped. "Should'a l-listened to my-myself."

Master Baggins in a well-spanked state was delightful. I was enjoying him far too much and refused to feel badly about that. For he now understood his lessons, and they would, hopefully, help keep him safe. I patted his bottom, saying, "Very good. Apology accepted, little one."

"And,And -" he hurried on, "I-I-I'm sorry you're angry with me."

Hmm. A tangled twist. But it made sense in a sad way that he was unable to understand the distinction. He had remained unspanked since he was a wee halfling. "I am not angry with you," I quietly said. "I never was angry with you. I was angry about what you did." He went very still. I could almost hear him thinking this over. "Do you see the difference, little one?"

"Uh-huh," he murmured. A pause, then he said, "Th-Thorin Oakenshield?"

I grinned. "Aye, Master Baggins?"

"I'm s-sorry you were angry 'bout what I did."

Still grinning I shook my head a bit and I began slowly petting his soft curls. "I know. But you have answered for your mistakes and all is forgiven. 'Tis over and done with."

His soft weeping increased. His face was turned my way, his eyes shut, and I watched him, so small and disheveled, so bravely bearing what had surely been a shattering ordeal, and I felt a sudden tremendous urge to gather him up and hold him close to me, settle and soothe him. I could see myself doing it, reaching down, picking him up and pulling him into my arms. And yet . . ..

I returned to rubbing his back, waiting, giving him what time he needed, and when his weeping finally lessened I reached over and grasped his britches, saying, "Lift your head, little one." He opened his eyes and looked up at me with a startled, stricken gaze, then he lifted his head until I slipped his britches free, pillowed his face onto his arms again and began more soft, almost silent crying, his shoulders shaking.

I dressed him slowly, that urge to gather him up and hold him surging through me, and when it came to drawing his britches over his reddened bottom I had to force myself to do it. He cried out once, then he returned to that piteous weeping. I had spanked him for a shorter period of time and with less strength than I had my nephews, but this little one was still distraught.

The desire to comfort him was consuming me now, but I drew in a long, steadying breath, picked him up, turned him, and perched him between my legs as I had before. And, just as before, he arched and hissed when his sore bottom touched my thighs, then he buried his face in his palms.

"Shhhhh," I murmured, once again pulling his hands away and wiping the tears from his damp cheeks. "Shhh, hush now." His eyes remained downcast, his lashes wet and glistening. I wouldn't make him look at me this time. I allowed him his solitude, though it pained me to do so. But I felt an abrupt and disagreeable need to withdraw from him, regain some distance and control. A great battle raged within me. Never had that urge to gather him close been stronger. Why shouldn't I? I held my nephews after spanking them. Why not hold this little one?

Because my nephews were my nephews and Master Baggins was my burglar. Holding him seemed too . . . personal. And although I had just turned his bare bottom over my knee there was a difference between spanking him and holding him in my arms. It should have made no sense, but it did make sense to the part of me that now mustered every disciplined inner resolve I possessed and began pulling back, removing myself from him.

"Shhh. Come, Master Baggins," I said. "'Tis all over now. Shhhhh."

There was a subtle change in him, a shudder coursing through his body. He went still, then he drew a long steadying breath to match mine. "Yes, sir," he said, in a hollow, hushed voice. "All over now."

A dull ache slammed into me, a sense of emptiness. But I braced myself. I released his hands, picked him up and stood him on his feet between my spread knees, holding him until his wobbly legs could take over. He kept dashing away tears with the backs of his hands, looking altogether wretched, and I had to admit I felt just as wretched. I had done what I set out to do, but it was, nonetheless, a dark moment. I heard myself say, "We must return to the Company."

Eyes still downcast, he bit his bottom lip, released it, and murmured, "May I . . . may I p-please stay here for a little while?"

I did not want to leave him here alone. I considered saying no and ordering him to return with me. I hardly knew what to say, and when I said nothing he glanced up at me. "I'll be alright," he said. "Please, sir? I-I won't be long. I promise. I . . . I just need to be by mys-self for a while."

Suddenly I could not bear to remain there, listening to him plead and looking into his sad little face. I eased him back a few steps then stood, saying, "As you wish. But do not stay out here all night, Master Baggins. That is an order. Do not make me come find you."

"I won't," he muttered. "Thank you, sir." And he turned, plodded over to the fountain in a stilted manner and stood gazing up at it, his back to me.

It was not supposed to be like this. It was never like this with Fili and Kili. There was no emptiness, no parting ache. I was miserable, and clearly so was my burglar. He stood unmoving, head tilted back, staring up, and although I hated doing it I turned and stomped away from him. I looked back once and saw him still standing there, gazing up. Every step was an effort, an anxious roar thundering within me.

Reaching the path, I headed down it between the high shrubbery and out of his view. Then I halted for a moment, fists clenched, and I heard something. I listened, then I took a few steps back until I could see him again. Master Baggins was lying on the bench, curled up on his side, one hand rubbing his bottom and his face buried against his bent arm. He was crying, deep, low, lonely muffled sobs.

I covered the space between us with long, fast strides. He didn't see me approach, so he gasped when I picked him up and held him close for a quick moment. I suddenly knew what I had to do, what I always did with my nephews and needed to do with my burglar. Relief and a sense of rightness poured through me. I smiled to myself, sat and turned him back over my knee.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, horrified. I wriggled and kicked. "NOOOOOOOOOOO, pleeeeeeease! Don't s-spank me anymorrrrrrrrre! I can't take anym-OWWW!"

"Hush, you ill-mannered bratling. I am not going to spank you, save for that swat to get your attention. Now stop bellowing and settle down ere I am forced to give you another."

I blinked and went still. This wasn't that dead, distant voice I'd heard when he'd finished with me and lifted me from his lap. Thorin Oakenshield sounded like himself again, like he did when he was spanking me, that quiet, patient voice laced with a firm undertone. So I did settle down, not because of his threat of another swat, but because that warm voice was back. Something hopeful went off inside me, and I waited, quivering, to see what he would do.

He held me, one strong arm draped over my back, one beneath my scalded bottom, and I lay over his solid thighs, resting there, my head on my folded arms. He didn't say anything and I didn't say anything. And then he started rubbing my back again. Ohhhhh, how I loved it. I closed my stinging eyes. My bottom throbbed and my tense muscles relaxed and, quite suddenly, I felt drained. Thorin Oakenshield had given me such a ferocious spanking that I was glad our ungrateful ponies had run off, for I'd never sit a saddle again, and if Fili and Kili had tried to hoist me up and plunk me down on some other contrary nag I'd have wriggled out of my coat and run back to Rivendell and hid behind Lord Elrond's robes.

But at this moment I was content to lay here, feeling safe, feeling that great big hand move over my back. I even stopped my endless scattered weeping. I never knew a hobbit could produce that many tears. I must have had a surplus. I'd been saving them up for a long time.

Sneaky of him to double back when I'd thought he'd left. I'd needed a good, long, private cry. I was hurt and it had nothing to do with my fiery bottom. The hurt came from how it had all ended, how empty it felt, how lonely. Who was that dwarf at the close of the whole thing? That wasn't the Thorin who had just spanked me. Many times when he was talking to me and I'd felt badly about the things I'd done, Thorin had helped me and taught me and I'd felt comforted by him.

But when he'd said, 'Tis over and done with,' a deep sorrow surged inside me. I was, once again, too befuddled to understand it at the time. Perhaps I'd been spanked insensible. I didn't want it to end and how daft was that? But Thorin had been rubbing my back and my bottom and it felt so good that I couldn't stop crying. I cried because it was over, this closeness with him was over. A faraway part of me cringed at that, but the part of me that had surfaced during the spanking knew the truth. Then he took my britches and started putting them on me and it got worser and worser.

Nothing that took place during that long, long spanking made me feel worser than I did when it was over. I just wanted him to go away, that cold, mean Thorin who put me aside and abandoned me so suddenly. What happened to the Thorin who had called me 'little one?' Was that Thorin not real?

I didn't know what to do or what to think. I needed to be alone. I had to be alone. And when I was sure he was gone I would run away and hide deep into this elvish land where they'd never find me. The dwarves would have to continue on without a burglar, and when they'd left Rivendell I'd somehow make my way home. Or I'd go to Lord Elrond and ask for sanctuary. I could never risk this happening again, because although Thorin's spanking had hurt, it only hurt my bottom. The pain of him casting me aside afterward hurt something deep inside me.

But I didn't run off the moment he left. I curled up and cried, unable to stop. What had happened and what might I have done to turn him into that distant Thorin? And then, suddenly, he was back, picking me up and holding me close. It was brief but glorious, that hug, and when he'd turned me over his knee again and said a few words I heard the Thorin who had helped me through the biggest walloping of my life, the Thorin who sent me floating on a cloud of acceptance and forgiveness.

"That is enough thinking, little one," he suddenly said. "Come back to me. I left you too abruptly and I should not have done so. Too much went unsaid. So now we shall finish this as I should have before."

"Yes, sir," I said, and I lay still, eager and hopeful. But he didn't pick me up, so I said, "Like this? We're going to talk with me laying here?" In truth I didn't know what to wish for.

"Aye. But, as I told you, your bottom is safe."

I thought that over, then quickly said, "Alright."

"Unless you behave badly and beg another small swat."

Small indeed! "I-I won't."

"You are comfortable?"

"Uh-huh. I mean, yes, sir. But-"

"But?"

"My britches are wet."

"Aye," he said, a smile in his voice. "So I see." He patted the wet patch on my right thigh. "'Tis plain where your face was buried."

I groaned and said, "I cried a lot."

"So did Fili and Kili."

What? I couldn't have heard him properly. "What?"

"Fili and Kili also cried when they were spanked tonight. They always do. Eventually. I make certain of it. Although Fili can be as stubborn as you were, little bratling."

I shot up on my stiff arms and twisted 'round to look at him. He calmly returned my stare. "What?" I breathed. "You-You cannot mean that you -"

"Spank my nephews? Aye. From the time they were wee beardlings to this day. Did you not notice how they looked when they told you I wanted to see you?"

I thought back. "They were in shadow, with the firelight behind them when they spoke to me, and they didn't look at me directly, and I thought it strange, the way they muttered and kept their heads down."

"Now you know why," Thorin said, and pushed me back down into position before continuing on. "And they knew why I sent for you, what I planned to do. So, as they knew your fate, 'tis only fair that you know theirs. They will be discreet, and I know you shall, too."

"Of-Of course," I replied, still thunderstruck. I stared off, trying to envision Fili and Kili going over Thorin's knee. I would never have imagined . . .. "They fit on your lap?" I blurted out.

He chuckled. "They fit very well indeed."

"But they're warriors," I said.

"Aye, fine warriors, both of them. But they are also young and daring and they don't stop to think about the possible consequences of their actions. That is what happened last night.

"But Fili and Kili know what to expect should they disobey orders or endanger themselves needlessly. And now you know what awaits you if you choose to do the same. It would be unjust of me to spank you for this and not discipline them as well. They were even more blameworthy than you were. And why is that, little burglar?"

"Because they disobeyed your orders and because Fili didn't want to tell you what had happened."

"Aye. Very good." He paused, then said, "They were concerned about you, little one. They thought I might spank you as I did them and they feared for your wee hobbit bottom."

"Oh," I said, blushing horribly at the notion of the three of them discussing the fate of my 'wee hobbit bottom.' "Oh, well, that was . . . thoughtful. But, didn't you spank me as you do them?"

"Nay. Your spanking was much lighter."

"Lighter? Oh!" I exclaimed.

"And much shorter."

"Oh, my!" Lighter and shorter? I couldn't fathom that. Dwarf backsides were certainly more durable than hobbit ones were. My admiration for Fili and Kili's courage soared. They knew what Thorin would do to them and they'd still disobeyed his orders? Suddenly Fili's quick decision to 'not worry Thorin' made sense. I'd have done anything to keep him from finding out, too, including shoving a hobbit towards the trolls in the hopes that he could right matters . . . a flawed strategy to say the least. It seemed there was a fine line between courage and folly.

"My nephews have more stamina than you do because they have had more practice going over my knee," Thorin said. "But they know what to expect when they are disobedient. They also know that afterward they will be forgiven and comforted."

That bitter hurt surged inside me again and I squeezed my hands into painful fists and fumed. I almost blurted out, 'Comforted? By you?'

"Ahh, Master Baggins, how tense and rigid you have become," Thorin murmured, patting my bottom. He was silent for a moment, then he said in a thoughtful tone, "You have a right to your anger. I left you alone and uncomforted. You deserved better. You deserved the kind of solace my nephews always receive after a spanking."

A shiver passed through me. Suddenly I was crying again, softly. I wouldn't have thought I had any tears left.

"Shhh," Thorin purred. "Shhh. Listen to me, little one. No matter what you have done, you cannot disappoint me. I may be angry, especially if you endanger yourself needlessly, but I shall be angry because of what you did, not angry with you. And I promise you this: when you are disobedient I shall not turn away from you, nor dismiss you, nor leave you alone with your guilt. I will take you over my knee and spank you as I just did, and then you can say your sorries and all will be forgiven."

I trembled, crying harder, almost silently, and he kept rubbing my back and saying things like "shhhhh," and "'tis alright now," and then he said, "As I told you earlier, you found yourself caught in a difficult place last night, Master Baggins. But, despite your lack of experience with danger you did the best you could. And tonight you bravely endured the consequences of your actions. I am proud of you, little one."

It was too much to hear. Now I was crying too hard to think, but it was . . . good. It was good crying. I felt like I could lie there forever with Thorin murmuring to me and rubbing my back, but suddenly I felt him lift me, and he pulled me close, and he wrapped his big arms around me and Thorin Oakenshield held me. I was engulfed by his strong body, my heart hammering, too stunned to move, too stunned to do anything but weep into the mass of thick, dense hair spread over his shoulder. And during those moments that he held me I realized that all the hurt and anger and bad feelings and the loneliness were gone. He'd seen my hurt and he came back to help me, to comfort me as he comforted Fili and Kili. He . . . cared about me. I hardly dared believe it to be true, but I knew that it was. If he didn't care about me he would have left me alone with my guilty feelings. But he hadn't. And he never would. He'd said, 'when you are disobedient I shall not turn away from you, nor dismiss you, nor leave you alone with your guilt.' I would never have expected him to say such a thing to me of all people. But within what Thorin had said and done to me tonight there lived one message: 'I care about you.' I was so overwhelmed that I surprised myself by sputtering my truest feelings, "Th-Thank you, Thorin Oakenshield."

He chuckled softly. "Not at all, Master Baggins." He gently drew me back and settled me on his lap again. I yelped and arched. "Mmmm," he rumbled. "That soreness will be with you for a while."

I squirmed, trying to get comfortable. "Hurts," I said.

"It was meant to. You now know what awaits you the next time you are tempted to misbehave."

"There won't be a next time," I said. Thorin laughed, softly and indulgently. I looked up at him. "There won't," I repeated, wiping my wet face on my sleeves.

He watched me with his quiet half-grin, his eyes glittering. "I am glad to hear it."

"Do you believe me?"

"No."

"You don't?"

"We have a long journey ahead of us," he said. "Anything can happen."

I dropped my gaze to where his big hand rested on my knee, covering it entirely. That was the hand that had just spanked me, and I stared at it and pondered what he'd said. He was right of course. It was a long journey and anything could happen, including me suffering another throbbing bottom. But I now knew that there were worse things than a throbbing bottom.

"What is it, little one?"

And suddenly I blurted out my actual feelings again. "I was angry with you."

"Understandable."

"Not . . . Not for the spanking."

"I did not think it was for the spanking. And you were more than just angry."

I nodded. I couldn't bring myself to voice how hurt I'd been but as he seemed to already understand that, too, I blundered on, still being much too truthful. "I was so angry that I . . . I wanted to run away, or-or perhaps stay here in Rivendell."

He was silent for what felt like several hours. Why, oh, why had I told him that? I wanted to jump from his lap and run away this minute, not that he would have let me. So I watched my fingers pick at the hem of my shirt and squirmed inwardly and waited.

Finally, he said, "You are an honorable burglar, Master Baggins. I doubt you would have actually broken your contract."

I gave my head a quick shake. "No. I just . . . I just thought about it."

"You must have been enduring a great deal of . . . more-than-just-anger."

I nodded. He closed his hand over mine, stopping my fingers and he began rubbing my back yet again. I melted at once. Merciful stars, but he was good at that!

"I regret that you were pushed to such a point, little one. 'Tis possible you will feel that way again ere our quest is over. You know my manner well enough by now. And I know yours. I shall certainly growl and roar at you at times. I shall roar my loudest if something life-threatening has happened to you. And if what happened was of your own doing I promise you another spanking. But when I spank you in future-"

I shot him a look. "When?!"

"When," he said, smiling reprovingly, "I spank you in future I also promise you this, we shall end it as we are ending it now, as I always end it with my nephews." He paused and gently squeezed my hands. "I shall never again leave you as I did tonight, and you need never fear feeling 'more-than-just-anger.'"

"But I'll fear the spanking," I said.

"Good," he said. "The choice of whether or not you end up over my knee is always yours, little burglar. Behave yourself and you need not fear another sore bottom."

I gazed at him, unable to speak, because he was grinning at me again with his quiet half-smile, the way I'd longed for him to smile at me, the way he smiled at his dwarves, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I'd been longing for truly had come to pass. I was now one of those he cared about. I couldn't help grinning back at him. "Fair enough, Thorin Oakenshield."

"Fair enough, Master Baggins."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

EPILOGUE

"What's taking so long?"

"I told you," I said. "It could be Bilbo hasn't been spanked since he was a . . . whatever they call hobbit littles. Thorin would take more time with him."

Kili started pacing his short path again. We lingered in the shadows pretending we were talking about anything other than a halfling's spanking. My brother was right. Thorin had kept Bilbo out there a long time.

The Company, now close to roaring drunk, paid Kili and me no mind, which was fine with us, even though usually we'd have been right there in the middle of them, drunker than the lot. We'd moved away from them and into the shadows, though, because we didn't want them to keep urging us to sit down and toss back the ale. We were busy standing watch for a poor halfling who was out there getting walloped because of what we'd done. Kili was fretting enough for both of us, so I kept trying to talk him down from his worry. But I'd feel much better when that little burglar came back. We owed him an apology, too. A big one.

We'd already said our sorries to the Company. Then only half-tight, they'd peered at us when we told them what happened and apologized for nearly getting them eaten by trolls. Balin started things off, saying, "Forget it, laddies." Then Gloin said, "Forget it? Nay, let's drink to it! Because of you and our wee burglar, we found a horde of treasure!" Little Ori said, "And we saw trolls turn to stone!" Bofur said, "And we got to see Dwalin in his drawers, turning on a spit." They'd all burst out laughing, and Bofur added, "It could've been worse, you know. We could have seen Dwalin without his drawers turning on a spit."

They'd all howled at that, Dwalin loudest of all.

Now Kili stopped pacing again. "They've been out there half the night."

"They haven't been out there half the night." I caught his eye and gave him my calm-down-little-brother gaze. "What exactly are you afraid of?"

Kili stared at me. "Well, Thorin's -"

"Spanking him, yes. But he won't spank him the way he did us. Thorin knows how to handle Bilbo, little brother."

Kili's dark eyes glittered. "That's what I'm afraid of."

Just then a small figure came trudging into view. He glanced our way, crossed to his pack, dug out his pipe and pouch, then came straight over to stand with us. He had that well-spanked look alright, the glassy, swollen eyes, the stiff gait and the tousled hair. Kili and I had only ever seen each other looking like that. Bilbo darted us a shy wince.

"Thorin will be along in a minute. He thought it would be less noticeable if we returned separately."

"Are you alright, Bilbo?" Kili quickly asked.

He hesitated, then muttered, "Yes. And no. What about you two? Are you alright?"

Kili and I looked at each other. "Yes," I said.

"And no," my brother added.

"You're used to this, I suppose," Bilbo said.

"There's no such thing as 'used to' it," I said. I glanced at the Company, making sure they still were more interested in singing rowdy drinking songs than in us, then I slowly turned and led my brother and Bilbo deeper into the shadows.

"No one knows, do they?" Bilbo asked.

"Balin likely does," Kili said. "He took us out to where Thorin was waiting. No one else knows."

"Keep to the shadows 'till morning, though," I said. "By then your eyes will look normal again."

"Normal? What? How do they -"

"And your voice will sound less hoarse." I nodded at his pipe. "You won't want that right now."

"It'll make your raw throat feel like a Balrog's living in there," Kili said.

Bilbo sighed and tsked and unthinkingly reached around to rub his little backside.

"And don't do that!" Kili exclaimed in a hushed tone.

Snatching his hand away, Bilbo muttered, "Right." He gazed down at his pipe looking woeful.

Kili, looking just as woeful, watched him. "We're sorry we got you into this," he said.

"Yes, very sorry," I added.

Bilbo waved his hand. "Wasn't your fault. I didn't have to do what you wanted me to." He cast a glance between us. "I certainly don't blame you, either of you. And you got the same as what I just got so -"

He shrugged, and at that moment Thorin came striding down the path. He saw us before the Company saw him, and he slowed and gave us his warmest grin, then he moved on and the Company sent up a cheer at the sight of him.

We stood silent for a long moment, then Bilbo turned to Kili and me again. He was wearing his own warm little hobbity grin. "You asked me if I'm alright," he said. "I'm very alright."

And Kili and I, knowing what he meant, grinned back.

end