A/N: "I refuse to let this story get close to a year old and be unfinished so I'm going to take a crack at making the next chapter."

HAHAHA I'M SUCH A JACKASS. Oh god somebody punch me in the face. I don't even know any more. Does anybody remember what was even happening? I have no fucking clue. It was probably queer stuff though. Queer stuff was probably happening. You know what? I'm just going to write about queer stuff. Yeah. That'll probably work.

Oh well, here we go. Tweaked cannon plot stuff a bunch as usual. Just go into it with an open mind and hopefully it won't be too bothersome.

Extra mushy stuff down below - "Mainly in the lower reaches, near the bottom." - in honor of this cheesy hard workin' cat I know.

A crotchety old woman shuffled past the flocks of people maneuvering around her throughout the terminal. She was impossibly short and the permanent hunch her back was folded into only forced her closer to the ground.

"You can just put it in the overhead compartment, Scott," she called back over her shoulder. "You're not listening to me."

The man who struggled behind her, wrestling a clearly overstuffed bag along behind him, scowled in return. "I wouldn't need to be," he snapped back bitterly, "if we had just checked the bag."

"Oh no," the woman hissed in return, "we're not going through this again."

Their bickering continued loudly as they stumbled out of sight towards their gate. Shepard watched their progress with endless amusement. It was a dingy terminal, something for the unwealthy and unimportant, two adjectives that often went hand in hand in their status obsessed universe. It was just the thing for slipping through unnoticed, and yet still having records of travel. Liara had once again pulled through with the perfect solution.

They travelled quietly, sure to remain inconspicuous and do everything as they were told. Shepard wasn't having the easiest time however, used to the instantaneous jump from glamorous port to port she had enjoyed as a respected member of the Alliance in the past.

She had huffed in annoyance when they had traveled through security before they reconvened and collected their few belongings. "It's so weird going through all of this," she mused aloud.

"Security?" Miranda had asked, passing Lilly over to the other woman so she could pull her jacket back on. Gwen was shrugging their pack over her shoulders beside her.

"Security and all of these damn regulations," Shepard elaborated, bouncing the child in her arms into a more comfortable position. "I mean, in the Alliance it was actually less stressful." She had chuckled as she absently reminisced. "And hell, without the alliance on our backs on the SR2 we skipped the pre-flight checks half the time after EDI was unshackled."

Miranda froze, glancing up, eyes wide. "You skipped the pre-flight checks?"

Shepard blinked. "What?"

A frown took firm root on Miranda's lips. "You skipped the pre-flight checks?"

"Uh, um," Shepard had stuttered out stupidly, eyes flickering to anything but the woman glaring at her, "look, uh, over there." She had been fleeing even before all the words were out. "There's a... thing…"

Not long after, Shepard had found herself firmly planted between a scowling Miranda and of course Gwen, who was doing a horrible job at hiding a bemused smile. Shepard just had to go and open her big mouth. Though at least the amusing passing of Scott and what seemed to be his wife had lightened her mood. The irritation would pass. Miranda couldn't exactly hold a grudge over something that was so far over and done with anyhow.

Miranda frowned, fingers tapping a steady rhythm on her armrest. Everything had gone neatly thus far. They had met with their contact, who had arrived promptly on schedule, had accepted their new identities and gone over their planned itinerary. Security had been cleared and they had boarded their assigned shuttle without incident.

The model was an old one, sluggish and slow, but it would get them where they were going. It was to be a long day of travel, she knew, what with the unfortunate need to hop from flight to flight to reach a planet with lax enough air control that a private shuttle to Mars wouldn't raise any red flags, but that didn't worry her. What did worry her was the attention they had unexpectedly received upon finding their seats.

Lilly was an absolute celebrity. Everyone in the rows around them was leaning in to coo over the young child, a fact Shepard seemed to delight in. She held the baby out proudly for the prying eyes, as though a parent parading her own child about. Miranda was less enthused by the attention. She sat brooding, keeping careful watch on the onlookers, ready for trouble. They were supposed to be keeping a low profile, not serving as the in-flight entertainment.

Not to mention the sick feeling that ripped through her every time a casual question was asked. They were simple, harmless things. What was her name? How old was she? How was motherhood treating them? All things they had to fabricate responses for, and Miranda just prayed Shepard could keep the tangled web of lies straight until they reached the safety of their destination.

Her own private thoughts were doing little to ease her anxieties. Shepard hadn't said a word about their midnight discussion. They had been forced to wake early and get the girl's prepared for travel. There had been no alone time to elaborate, to pull back, to explain away the rawness of it all. She had never intended for Shepard to wake up when she had, had never intended to be caught in such a way. It killed her to think of everything that they had discovered together, to remember everything she had then so disjointedly let out.

To think that Shepard sat beside her in that moment feeling sorry for Miranda, pitying her, it was unbearable.

Gwen watched Shepard carefully from where she sat on the shuttle, arm pressed up against the wall. It was tight, and a weird smell hung in the air, but she tried to keep her focus on the woman and how she carefully held Lilly, doing her best to keep the child entertained on the long trip.

It was difficult, as she kept finding herself pulled to the early morning when she had found a moment alone with her older clone. After a night of horrid dreams and unbearable guilt, she had attempted to seek what solace she could in the woman.

"I'm lying," she had told Miranda, chest tight in a way she had never felt before.

"No. You're not lying, not really. You're just not telling," Miranda had assured her, voice tight and lips pursed. "This isn't the same. And, even if you were," she had faltered then, her expression falling soft, "sometimes lies are better than the truth."

Her sisters clawed at Gwen's mind, reminding her of their frailty, making sure she never forgot that they hadn't even thought to resist. They called her name in innocence, and then burst in echoes of gunfire and waves of red over and over and over.

"Shepard would hate me if she knew."

Miranda had leaned forward to place a comforting hand on Gwen's shoulder. "Now that I know isn't true."

Gwen wanted to trust Miranda, wanted desperately to believe her, but seeing the goodness in the softer of her new guardians, she certainly had her doubts.

It was Liara who greeted them right out of the gate as soon as they touched down. Miranda was tense as they followed her through the long, blank corridors of the space station. Alliance hands were clearly all over the establishment. Bringing Shepard along was idiotic. Liara had assured her of the plan's safety but her doubts would not quiet. Even with forged paperwork and carefully crafted identities were they not laughing in fate's face?

Lilly had seemed only mildly interested in Liara. It had been a long day and she had been faced with enough asari in crowded terminals that the novelty had apparently worn off in her young mind. She seemed much more content grasping wildly at Gwen's loose hair than paying attention to strangers by that hour.

For her part, the teen carefully held her young clone as she kept step with the adults around her. Gwen kept a wary eye on Liara at all times though, still not over her mistrust of alien species, no matter how many had wandered by her that day. Only reluctantly had she accepted the hand that Liara had first offered in their initial meeting, shaking it after a warning glance from Shepard.

They moved quickly through the station. The place was busy, teeming with passion and energy that made it feel more crowded than it likely was. Windows to other rooms showed off grand displays of technology where workers sat diligently, completely focused and absorbed in their tasks. It was smalltalk and pleasantries as they walked until Liara was able to usher them into an empty room away from prying eyes, and then suddenly it was all business.

"I see everything went as well as could be expected," she prompted, eyes falling over the children before shifting back to Shepard.

"It was fine," Shepard agreed. "Just a long day is all." She felt grimy from travel, but shook the feeling off. "I just, uh, should I be here, Liara? This seems sort of risky."

The asari shook her head. "For now I would say this is the safest place for you. We belong to the Alliance on a technical level, but not in the ways that are dangerous to you." She crossed her arms, tone turning bitter. "We're overlooked and understaffed. Underfunded too. Hackett takes care of us when he can. They're scrambling, Jane. Half are still denying that we are even facing a true threat to begin with, the rest are trying to slap together a handful of big guns."

Liara raised her shoulders in a half hearted shrug. "I may not be their best friend, but the people here meet the two criteria we need. They believe, and they are capable of doing the work we need. Hackett and Anderson pulled them together. They trust the people here, so I find myself willing to do the same. These are scientist and intellects looking to take control of their own fate, not loyal soldiers. They won't be out for you, if they recognize you at all."

Shepard shifted closer. "Do they, uh, know I'm here? Hackett and Anderson I mean."

"Officially no," the asari assured her quickly, "Commander Shepard disappeared not only from the base but from Earth entirely. There are frequent reports of sightings throughout the terminus systems but, well," a light smile played along Liara's lips, "those never seem to pan out."

With a chuckle Shepard nodded her approval, a heavy weight lifting from her shoulders. She should have known all along that her old friend had been looking out for her. Though she did feel a bit guilty for the poor teams that had been sent to track her down and wound up following ghost stories on the wild goose chase Liara had set up for them.

"Unofficially," Liara pressed, a mischievous glint in her eye, "both Hackett and Anderson are very pleased to find you're in good health." She planted a hand on Shepard's shoulder at the old soldier's clear surprise. "It might not always feel like it, but you have a lot of people doing everything they can to have your back."

It took a moment, but Shepard eventually managed a shaky, "thanks, Liara."

"Now," she continued promptly, dropping her hand and all sentimentality, "we certainly have plenty to discuss. The first being your trip to Henry Lawson's compound."

Beside her, Shepard felt Miranda stiffen.

"Initially," Liara explained, "we thought they were aiming to work with the Reapers as you did. The discussion in the messages you pulled up and frequent contact seems to point towards that as the logical conclusion."

Shepard nodded along to the statement. "Yeah that's what it looked like to me." She had been confused at the time though, and panicked. Worried over Miranda and the children and the time crunch she had found herself in.

"Now that doesn't seem to be the whole case."

"Well, that's a relief," Shepard returned rocking back on her heels. It was nice to hear that her two greatest enemies weren't conspiring against her.

"Maybe," Miranda muttered beside her, eyes narrow, finally deciding to take part in the discussion.

"Ominous," Shepard returned through a hollow laugh. The last thing she needed was another disaster. Five minutes peace was okay by her. Her attention fell on the children. If things were about to take a darker turn perhaps it was best to continue the conversation in private. "Uh, is there somewhere we can corral the two off them off to?"

"They're fine," Miranda returned before Liara could respond. Gwen shifted closer to the older clone in response to the question, hold on Lilly tightening.

"Miran-" Shepard started to argue.

Lilly would be fine, obviously, but Gwen had been through enough. She didn't need in depth details about the ancient death machines coming to destroy them all. They should at least try to give the kid a chance.

Her protests were cut off by a meaningful glare though, and Shepard knew better than to argue. She was allowed an opinion, but when push came to shove she knew her place. They weren't her clones, her sisters. They were Miranda's, and if Miranda wanted them near then near they would stay.

"Okay," Shepard relented, hands up in surrender, "I guess they're fine."

"Well then," Liara tried, clearly more than a little uncomfortable with the odd sort of family dynamic occurring before her, "as I was saying, we worked through as much as we could. Unfortunately, my presence in their systems was discovered. I no longer have access and I am no closer to tracking down the Illusive Man's location."

"Even if you had he would have fled by now," Miranda added, arms crossed.

"Yes," Liara agreed without hesitation. "Your work hardly went to waste, though. My people learned quite a bit in the short time we did have."

Shepard shifted, impatient. "The Reapers, Liara," she cut in. "What was going on with them? That's the information I need."

"It appears as though the Illusive Man wasn't working for them, but working against them."

"Oh," Shepard returned, brow furrowed, "that's uh, not what I thought. I mean, I guess that makes more sense with the whole human supremacy thing, but I saw-"

"Within his correspondence with Miranda's father we discovered they were looking to work together to set up a facility of sorts. Apart from his usual financial backing, Lawson was to lead a team of researchers."

"Studying?" Shepard prompted.

Liara seemed hesitant. "Reaper tech, husks, anything they could get their hands on. Indoctrination seemed their focus. I have no way of being certain, but it looks as though the Illusive Man is trying to work the power to his own design, as though he intends to wield it against the Reapers themselves."

"He wants to control them," Shepard clarified.

"It makes sense," Miranda allowed. "He was desperate for you to preserve the Collector base." She thought back on the orders she had been given all those months ago. "He was willing to trade your loyalty and life for it."

"We found plans of the facility they intend to create. A lab of sorts for conducting their experiments," Liara explained. "I have every man I can spare on the job of hunting it down. It's still in construction. We locate it now and we can stop this before it even begins. The loss of Henry and his sizable monetary contributions will certainly slow progress down. We'll find the project and destroy it."

"Should we?"

All eyes were on Shepard. Save perhaps Lilly's, who had nodded off against her sister's chest.

Hands up in defense, Shepard was sure to elaborate before she turned into the villain. "Hey, we all know I'm not the Illusive Man's biggest fan, and after the Reapers, I always had every intention of bringing him in to answer for his crimes. Is this really a bad thing though? A group with few limits studying the machines we don't understand in an effort to destroy them before they destroy us?" She sighed. "I hate it but I gotta say it sounds better than the Alliance sitting around on their asses all day."

"Shepard, this is the Illusive Man," Miranda pressed. "You know him. This won't be about the universe, this will be about humanity and the empire he looks to build. Saving people beneath his care will just be a side effect of the power he gains. You said it yourself, he wants to control them. I think actually destroying the Reapers is the furthest thing from his goal."

"I agree," Liara added. "I don't know how he plans to achieve his purpose, what methods he intends to use, but based on Cerberus' track record I'm not willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. We're going to do everything in our power to track him down and nip this in the bud before it becomes and issue."

"Wow, this is… small."

Miranda slid past Shepard into their new quarters. "We'll manage."

"Says the girl with the new fancy job. I'm the one trapped in here with the ankle biters." She turned to Gwen. "No offense."

The teen merely smiled and shrugged. She looked exhausted, as tired as Shepard felt. Liara had much to relay before showing them to their room in a quiet, rarely used corner of the facility. Their lengthy conversation, coupled with a day of round about traveling, had left them all with heavy eyes and aching feet.

The room was minuscule. There was a single bed, barely large enough for Miranda and Shepard to comfortably share. Apparently, accommodations for Gwen and Lilly were to be sent along, but had yet to arrive. Shepard had no idea just where they would go. There was hardly room enough to move about freely as it was.

It was worse than the room she had been shoved into back on Earth when the Alliance had her under lock and key, Shepard mused. She dreaded the thought of being stuck in there for hours at a time with both a teenager and a baby. Miranda had more leeway than her. Both she and Liara had agreed that despite the relative safety of the base, Shepard would do well to keep a low profile.

Miranda on the other hand was granted much more freedom. In fact, Liara had actually specifically requested her assistance. They were to be digging through the mounds and mounds of Prothean data, looking for some kind of something that Shepard didn't really care to understand. If it was discovered and could be useful to them in their fight she would be all ears. As it was though, it couldn't help but feel like some fleeting fancy that would do nothing but suck up what little time they had left.

"We'll manage," Miranda repeated, tone resolute.

It pulled a laugh out of Shepard, despite her reservations with the situation. "You're bossy today."

Miranda merely rolled her eyes and strutted off to explore the small washroom that they had been allotted, prompting Shepard to turn towards her smaller companions. "Doesn't she seem bossy today?"

Gwen blinked. "She always seems bossy."

It wasn't a snide remark. It was a simple, stated, clinical observation. That didn't stop Shepard from jumping on it though, stretching it into more than it was.

"Oh, Gwen is getting an attitude. I like it. She's getting fresh."

"What?" came a cold voice from somewhere in the bathroom.

"Nothing," Shepard called back, grinning. "I was just telling Gwen to stop complaining because we can manage."

An old cot was wheeled in for Gwen and a makeshift crib was fashioned for Lilly and the pair of them waited in their stuffy little cell with a pouting Shepard as Miranda disappeared for hours at a time. It was just awful.

Days melted into one another, and though Shepard found herself pleased with the small victories she was claiming, each accomplishment started to blend into the next. Gwen was relaxing, yes, beginning to more obviously enjoy their company, and Lilly was eating, sure, ravenously as Miranda had promised, but time was passing steadily on and restlessness had begun to eat away at her.

"Woah-ho," Shepard exclaimed one slow afternoon, holding Lilly up to a large window, "look at that. It's coming right at us." The observation port stretched from floor to ceiling, letting any who passed get a glimpse of the outside world. Shepard had taken the girls for a walk around the station, keeping her head low and voice quiet, tired of their stuffy room. Now they watched as the winds outside picked up and spun into a marvelous dance of dirt and dust. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yes," Gwen agreed as she watched the display. Her response was clipped, her gaze unfocused.

Shepard frowned, even as Lilly delightedly pounded a chubby fists against the thick glass. "You're getting bored here, huh?"

The teen didn't answer. Instead, she turned her head, shifting away. Shepard sighed at the evasion.

"We'll get you out of here, Gwen," she promised. "You're going to get the chance to do amazing things. We'll make sure of it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Ladies." The greeting was professional, but warm, and Shepard turned to smile at the passerby who had snuck into the conversation.

Cameron was a strong woman, a presence, but she had also struck Shepard as kind and fair in every encounter they had shared thus far. From their first meeting, Shepard had known she had been recognized, but no harm had ever come of it. The woman treated the old commander fairly, calling her by her assigned identity and showing the children every courtesy. It was clear Cameron held the respect of the many busy researchers that were always fluttering about, and she had certainly earned Shepard's.

"Ms. Harrison," Gwen greeted politely, head bowed ever so slightly in a submissive gesture. Shepard hated when she did that.

"Stretching our legs?" Cameron's voice was full of sympathy.

"I figured most everyone is in the cafeteria by this point so," Shepard explained, trailing off as she gestured to the empty hall. "Where are you off to?"

To her surprise, the woman's expression soured. "I'm actually off to receive our new arrival."

"Oh?" Neither Miranda nor Liara had mentioned any such development.

"Apparently," Cameron elaborated, voice bitter, "our work has been deemed insufficient. We're being sent a specialist, a," she glanced down at the data pad in her grip, "Dr. Eva Core. As soon as I receive her I intend to share a few words with Hackett when he can spare them. This is," she faltered, searching for the word. "Unexpected," she settled on after a moment, tone dark. "I don't do well with unexpected."

Shepard released a breathy chuckle. "Watch out Eva."

Cameron couldn't help but smile at that. "Sorry. Stress seems to come with the job. It hasn't helped that I am still getting messages from ExoGeni looking to worm their way in here."

"Well, you can't say they lack conviction."

"Unfortunately no." The woman shook her head with a soft sigh. "I shouldn't linger." She smiled at Gwen and offered Lilly a friendly wave before continuing on her way. "Get to the cafeteria before you miss out on lunch completely," she called over her shoulder in friendly warning as she departed.

It was weird, and the more time that passed, Miranda found herself quite angry. In fact, it seemed she was rather livid. But what she needed was something to unleash it upon, a reason to snap.

The problem was, nobody seemed inclined to give her one.

Shepard very clearly wanted her to open up further about their ordeal back on Earth, but she wasn't at all being her usual pushy, invasive self. She was holding back, respectfully waiting for Miranda to come to her if and when the time was right.

And Liara wasn't being rude or unreasonable or the slightest bit antagonistic. Miranda hadn't been prepared for just how much she would genuinely enjoy working with the asari. For the first time in a long time she was in a more submissive role and she was actually learning. It was novel and engaging and reminiscent of her time on the Normandy. There were people all around them, eager to help, completely focused, and one hundred percent dedicated to being prepared for the Reapers. It was altogether rather amazing.

And so Miranda was left with this restless sort of rumble in her gut. A tickle that evolved into a tugging as time went on. She needed to work through everything she had learned in her father's estate, needed to process and accept it and at least attempt to move past it.

It was simply too easy to ignore though. There was work to bury herself in and places to run and hide whenever Gwen or Lilly's presence threatened to remind her of all the stupid mistakes she had made. Despite the way everything seemed to be fluttering about in her heart and mind, Miranda found she would prefer to simply ignore the unfamiliar feelings that had been awoken inside her. Wrangle them, compress them, and sweep them tidily into the furthest reaches of thought.

Besides, it was easier to forget when something far different seemed eager to consume her of late. As they spent more time together, Miranda just couldn't seem to help but invent another issue for herself.

Liara was smart and together and surprisingly full of good humor. In the rare times they could relax, Miranda discovered she didn't mind when conversation drifted from work to other far less important topics. That would never have been a problem had circumstances not been what they were.

As it was however, things were happening. Things like sometimes they would all share a meal together in the crowded cafeteria and Shepard and Liara would laugh and reminisce about their wild days on the SR1. Miranda would remain silent, feeling too small to properly contribute.

Instead, she would lean her leg into Shepard's, just to form some sort of physical connection. A normal act for any couple, one that clearly didn't bother Shepard in the slightest, but for Miranda it was more. A subconscious reminder, a soft act of pettiness to childishly indulge in.

I'm still here.

I still need you.

Don't forget that for whatever reason, you chose me.

And that was the issue. Because Liara was brilliant and kind and funny and gorgeous, and though Miranda knew she shared a couple of those traits there was always that constant digging in the recesses of her mind. She was a tired and grumpy ex-terrorist who came packaged with a trust complex, an exorbitant amount of daddy issues, and most recently, two extra clones. One a close minded racist elite and the other a baby of all things.

They were complicated, the pack of them. It was a lot to handle in normal circumstances. The looming threat of potential doom likely wasn't making the adjustment any easier on Shepard. Miranda was feeling a bit more stable, having thrown herself full force into all work given, but she knew she was far from okay.

Things were tumultuous. The Reapers were coming. It wasn't the time for Shepard to be fretting over Miranda's emotional well being. And so, emotionally, at the very least, Miranda slipped deeper into her quiet withdrawal. Questions were answered with a single word and concern was absently brushed aside. It was frustrating Shepard, Miranda could tell, but it seemed the only option she was capable of taking for the time.

It was the oddest thing in the world, feeling like you weren't right for the situation, that you were a burden, holding two people that would otherwise probably be quite happy together back. It wasn't that she didn't trust Shepard. In fact, she was quite confident that neither Shepard nor Liara would ever actively participate in an act that they knew would hurt her. That did nothing to ease her mind however, because the way she cared about Shepard, she knew the only thing she wanted was for her to be happy.

Whatever happened, and no matter her feelings, one thing was quite obvious to Miranda. Had she never come along, the two would have reunited, reconciled, and likely spent together what remained of Shepard's life.

"So Gwen?"

"Yes Gwen." Shepard studied her companion's reactions.

She had pushed the issue into the front of discussion. It wasn't good for Gwen to sit idle, wasting away all the potential her father had packed inside. She had left the girl with her younger clone back at the room while she confronted both Liara and Miranda about her future. Just over three weeks had passed since their arrival, they had waited long enough.

"Lilly will be fine. She's young and, well," Shepard smiled, "I've been doing all right with her. Gwen needs more though. She's too good for this. She deserves better."

Liara and Miranda shared a glance.

"We have been talking about it, when time allows," the asari admitted.

"Oh, glad I was invited," Shepard cut in.

"Jane-" Miranda warned.

"Sorry." Shepard returned, sighing. Her frustrations about her recent limitations had little place there. "So what sort of stuff have you been throwing around? You know how I feel about-"

"We know," Miranda assured her.

"When you were back on Earth I had mentioned the idea of certain schooling programs," Liara prompted carefully, clearly trying to gauge Shepard's reaction. "Miranda told me of some of the things the pair of you have discussed about Gwen. Her intelligence, her biotic ability."

"So you think you've found a place?" Shepard pressed.

"Well there is an academy we've been discussing. It has a program, the Ascension Project," Liara explained. "It was made to focus on humans who have been exposed to element zero. I believe we could find a place for her there."

Shepard leaned back, nodding thoughtfully. "Yeah, well, I mean obviously we have to check it out first." Her gaze fell on Miranda. "And it's your call of course, if you even want to bring it up to her at all."

"I think we should," Miranda replied. "Let's let Gwen decide, she deserves that much."

"Well, you know how to reach me," Shepard offered stiffly, tugging at her ear. It was the second time she had done so.

Miranda watched as the woman struggled, clearly torn over whether she wanted to be bitter about being left behind or come up with something meaningful to say to Gwen.

"I'll let you know when we touch down," Miranda assured her.

Shepard merely scowled at the comment. "Right, so I'll just wait here," she snarked, "on Mars. In the Alliance base. The one filled with Alliance personnel. You know, so I don't get noticed by the Alliance."

Beside her, Liara shook her head. They had been over why this was for the best a thousand times since the trip had been set in motion.

"Take, uh," Shepard tried once more, the hand that wasn't supporting Lilly against her reaching out to lamely pat Gwen's shoulder, "take care of yourself, kid."

Gwen didn't seem particularly moved by the impending separation, but she nodded her appreciation. "Thank you."

"Sure." Shepard stepped back, knowing there was little else to say.

Miranda took in Gwen, standing dutifully and bearing the small bag with what little clothes they had managed to procure for her. "Ready?"

"Yes."

They moved to enter the shuttle that had been prepared for them. An indescribable sort of grumble sounded deep within Shepard's throat as soon as the doors closed and the clones were out of sight.

Liara laughed. "Don't tell me the separation anxiety is about to set in."

"Nah, I hardly care about that brat," Shepard returned absently, straightening. "Glad to be rid of her."

"Uh-huh."

"Besides, I still have this one." Shepard glanced down at the child in her arms. "Right, squirt?"

"Dah," Lilly shrieked excitedly in response.

Shepard shot Liara a pointed look. "That meant, 'Yes, Shepard. Of course. I will always stand beside you no matter the consequence'."

"Thank you for the translation."

"I do what I can."

This had to be Liara getting back at her, no doubt.

"Well, well, and to think I almost didn't believe Blue when she sent along the good news. It looks like you and the commander have been," the woman raised her eyebrows, gaze appraising Gwen openly, "busy."

"Jack," Miranda managed by way of greeting. She took in the figure her old teammate struck. Fresh new haircut aside, she looked stronger, more solid.

"I take it you've met?" the woman who had just minutes ago introduced herself as Kahlee Sanders questioned, looking between the pair.

"Yes," Miranda responded, fighting the urge to add in the word 'unfortunately'.

Jack seemed to be restraining herself, at the very least, looking more amused than irritated by their reunion. Though she did have the advantage over Miranda in that she had actually been prepared for the meeting.

It had been a bit of a whirlwind since they had landed. They had been ushered into the school, greeted by Kahlee, and lead down hall after hall until suddenly Miranda had found herself face to face with her old squadmate.

"Jack is one of our instructors, here," Kahlee explained. "She works closely with the students in our biotics program."

"What?"

"Don't look so shocked," Jack replied through a snort. "I might get offended."

"I assure you," Kahlee soothed quickly, clearly mistaking Miranda's surprise for concern over her 'child' being taught by someone so unconventional, "all of our instructors are incredibly dedicated to the children and their success."

If that was what the higher ups in the academy thought of Jack, Miranda wasn't so sure about their judgement. Perhaps Grissom wasn't their answer after all.

They had been given a tour, lead throughout empty classrooms, made to stand silently in the back and observe full ones, wandered throughout numerous recreational areas, and shown the state of the dormitories. Miranda was impressed for the most part. The academy was quite obviously well funded and the majority of students that they passed were working diligently, obviously committed to their studies.

The range and diversity in the student body eased some of her anxieties of the social aspect. Gwen had been improving since being in their care, but she would need to start freely engaging with children her own age to begin easing into her new life more efficiently. It seemed as good a place as any for Gwen to have a shot at making some genuine friends.

The only aspect that still felt off to Miranda was Jack. She didn't understand why the woman was there. On a basic level, yes, Jack had been brought in to work on the combat skills of children with biotic talents, and it was a job she was more than capable of. Her reasoning for coming on board though, that Miranda couldn't grasp.

She stood next to Jack, pondering the changes she saw in the woman as they observed Kahlee and Gwen. Through a pristine window they watched the pair working together in a sort of training arena. Gwen was being casually tested, run through some light exercises to gauge her power and control. From that they would apparently be able to discover in just what class Gwen would best fit.

"Kid's good," Jack offered as she watched. "Though I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

Miranda didn't want to give her the satisfaction of answering. Gwen, and everything she entailed, was an incredibly personal topic. Jack hadn't earned the right to discuss those sorts of issues. In the arena, a young boy who had been waiting on the sidelines was called over. He was another student, older than Gwen by perhaps a year or two. Khalee was gesturing as she spoke to them, clearly organizing a gentle sort of spar that was quickly underway.

"Liara didn't explain everything, but she said enough," Jack muttered, arms crossed as her eyes tracked the movements of both Gwen and her partner. "I filled in the rest."

A wry smile pulled across Miranda's lips. "You're not going to ask me about my feelings now, are you, Jack?"

The other woman's solemn expression morphed until it matched hers. "I was saying I understood, not that I cared."

"Right." Miranda shifted, scratched at her neck, did her best to look utterly disinterested. "This seems to be an odd career move for you."

"From what, being a convict?" Jack snorted. "I fell into it again after we fell apart. Smuggled. Danced on Omega until I was blackout drunk. These guys found me though. Apparently someone, despite their own problems, had been putting in a good word. I said yes just for kicks, thinking I'd get bored and be outta here within a week."

"But you weren't," Miranda pressed as Gwen effortlessly had her opponent sprawled out on his backside. Maybe Jack really had changed.

"No," Jack agreed, "I wasn't. The kids here - they're good. They could use my help and I - I guess I don't mind giving it. I care, or, whatever." Her sincerity melted as quickly as it had come. "Maybe you're not the only one Shepard was rubbing off on."

Miranda snarled out her disgust at the vulgarity of the statement, earning nothing but coarse laughter from her companion.

Maybe Jack hadn't changed at all.

"You're advanced," Jack offered once Gwen and her instructor had returned to them. It was the closest thing to praise Miranda had heard from her since their meeting, though it had been let out disinterestedly along the crest of a shrug.

"Advanced among the advanced" Kahlee elaborated, unlike Jack looking thoroughly elated. "I have little doubt you could easily hold your own with an older group. You would likely have little more to learn with the students your own age."

For her part, Gwen looked rather overwhelmed, and her uncertainty pulled a soft smile from Kahlee.

"Why don't you two discuss things for a bit?" she prompted, gaze shifting between Miranda and the girl. "Take as long as you need."

Jack didn't seem in a hurry to leave, whining, "what's to talk about?" But at her superior's urging she reluctantly followed the woman out the door and into the hall.

"How do you feel?" Miranda tried after a moment, more than a little out of her depth.

"Well," Gwen returned smartly.

Miranda sighed. "I mean about the decision. Do you think you would like to try working with the older students?"

Gwen was quiet for a moment, seemingly contemplating the question. Her brow furrowed and she caught Miranda's gaze. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything," Miranda returned, quick to shut down the passing of responsibility. "I know what I think is best, but both Shepard and I want it to be your choice. Whether you jump ahead or stay back, it will be difficult, I won't lie, but you have to decide on something."

She hesitated then. She wanted to be softer, more accessible. Sisterly? Miranda swallowed. "Or if this doesn't feel right, if it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to stay here at all. We can go back, figure something else out."

Gwen took a moment with her words before nodding. "I feel comfortable." She hesitated before adding a far quieter, "so far."

Miranda smiled at that. "We can give it a try, take it slow." She sighed. "I am not trying to push you in either direction, but maybe staying with your own age group would be a good start. If you feel like you need more, I'm sure I can get you moved up."

Her and Shepard had discussed this extensively whenever they found a moment alone. Gwen spending time at the school had never been about actual learning. Henry Lawson had already smothered the girl with the best of the best, had already molded her into excellence. What Grissom Academy actually was to them was a chance at exposure. It was socialization. They had never intended for it to turn into a show of how advanced Gwen was in comparison to the other children.

If Gwen wanted more of a challenge though, Miranda was loathe to deny her.

"What do you think? Does that sound okay?"

Gwen nodded. "Yes."

Miranda wasn't sure if the girl genuinely agreed or if she was trying to be passive and agreeable as usual. Either way, it was a start.

"You can always contact Shepard at any time. Me as well. If you ever want to come-" what? Home? Was that what they were? "-back you can. No questions asked."

"Okay."

Miranda considered the girl carefully, trying to read past the stoic expression she wore. Was Gwen really okay with the development, or was she just doing what she thought they wanted? If the teen had any objections with the arrangement, she was just about out of time to voice them.

Jack seemed thrilled by Miranda's apparent uncertainty. "Don't worry, we're going to have a lot of fun." She leered down at the young girl. "Won't we?"

Gwen was unbothered by the comment but a surge of heat flooded through Miranda. She bit back a scowl for the girl's sake. "We'll keep in touch," she managed stiffly, not sure how to proceed. A hug would be too forced, too uncomfortable. Instead, she raised a hand, awkwardly giving the girl's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Kahlee, who had been watching the goodbye from afar, stepped forward to gently collect the girl. After bidding Miranda farewell she moved to lead Gwen away with a gentle hand to the back. As soon as they were out of sight Miranda was on Jack, marching up to the woman boldly.

"Listen," she warned coldly, Jack's notorious attitude snaking through her mind, "whatever issues you've had with me in the past don't you dar-"

Jack met the challenge, stepping up to return the posturing with glee, though her words told a far different story. "Relax, Cheerleader," she returned through an insufferably smug sneer. "Your kid is safe with me."

Miranda's anxieties were marginally soothed by the words, though she refused to visibly drop her guard, intent on making her threat clear.

"She had better be."

It was the first place Miranda had looked after she had returned to find their room empty, and there Shepard was when she entered the quiet lab, sitting on a table top, legs swinging childishly. Lilly was cemented firmly on her lap, gnawing diligently on what Miranda prayed was a legitimate toy and not something she had picked up off of the counter around her when Shepard wasn't looking. A few feet away Liara sat, buried in her work.

"And Sho is giving Cameron hell about it," Shepard was explaining through a laugh, clearly elated. "He is not happy with the new blood. I think we're going to finally get some drama in this place."

Liara hardly appeared to be giving her friend much of any of her attention at all. "That seems to be a trend here," Liara said absently, head still bowed over her workspace. "Fletcher was hardly pleased when I first arrived."

"Yeah but you had-" Shepard started, but had finally noticed their intruder and cut herself off. "Hey, welcome back," she called to Miranda. "How'd it go?"

"Well. I think." Miranda said as she moved closer, throwing a meaningful glance towards Liara. "Though there were a few unexpected surprises.

The asari was smiling. "Sounds interesting."

Shepard's gaze shifted between them. "I feel like I'm missing something."

Liara didn't bother to divert her attention from her work. "You usually are."

"Ouch." Shepard was laughing again.

Miranda ignored their banter. "Do you need help with anything?"

"Go relax for the night," Liara returned, waving her offer off, "I'm just about done here. We'll get back to work tomorrow."

"Right." Miranda nodded and made to turn away but their eyes locked before she could make her retreat.

"Please take them with you," the asari all but begged.

"Hey," Shepard whined, "we weren't that bad." At the venomous look Liara sent in her direction the old commander slid petulantly to the floor, pouting. "I don't like all powerful Shadow Broker Liara. She's mean."

"Goodnight, Shepard."

Her tone sent the woman scampering past Miranda and straight out the door.

Shepard frowned as she watched Miranda move about the room. The woman was quiet, as usual. Keeping her distance in every way possible. Shepard had only gotten the most basic of the basics on Gwen and her introduction to the academy. Miranda seemed reluctant to share too much. Lately, the majority of their interactions had been nothing but puzzling steps back. Shepard could only assume the woman was concerned over the fate of her young clone.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Hey," Shepard tried, cautious, "is everything okay? Gwen is going to be just fine. Jack will take care of her."

She had actually been quite pleased to hear her old teammate would be instructing Gwen, at least in the physical and combative aspects of her education. Not particularly for the girl's sake, but more for Jack's. It was good to hear she had found a place in the universe after their mission had ended, even if it was an unexpected one.

"I know," Miranda returned simply. "Gwen has improved tremendously. I may have been nervous initially, but seeing her there in person I felt more comfortable. It seems like a good fit."

Shepard was only half-pleased by the news. Something else was up. "So you're not worried?"

"Not particularly." Miranda was growing confused.

"Okay," Shepard returned quickly, deciding to forgo caution, "well then did I piss you off about something?"

"What? No."

"Well you've been kinda, I dunno," Shepard faltered as she tightened her grip on Lilly, who seemed intent on wriggling free, "distant?"

"No I haven't."

Shepard gave a dry laugh. "Uh, yeah you have."

"I haven't," Miranda insisted, making for the refuge the bathroom offered.

It was tempting to let her go, to avoid tension, but Shepard had had just about enough of beating around the bush. If it wasn't Gwen, there was only one other option. What Miranda had offered her back on Earth, what she had let slip, had clearly made the woman uncomfortable. Whether she had been pulling away since then out of fear or embarrassment or something else entirely, Shepard couldn't say. She was only sure that she needed to put a stop to it.

"Don't do this."

Miranda was quick to defend herself. "I'm not doing anything."

"Yes you are. Look, I don't know the right thing to do or say here, I'm flying blind, same as you." Miranda wouldn't look at her. "But I know things have been," Shepard faltered, struggling to find the right word. "Raw," she managed at last. "I want to give you space, I meant to, but not if it means this. What happened was-"

"Don't."

"I'm sorry, I am," Shepard said, though she blatantly ignored the command. "I'm not trying to ambush you here, I can just feel you getting further away. Don't pull back because of this. It's okay to tell me things." Shepard was struggling with eloquence, and so she decided to drop all tact. "It's okay to feel shitty about a shitty situation. It's okay to tell me about it. It's okay to cry or get mad or, I don't know."

"Jane," Miranda returned sternly, "Nothing is going on. I'm tired and stressed and I need to take a shower, so that's what I'm doing."

Shepard sighed and fell back on the bed as she was effectively locked out of the conversation by the bathroom door. She only managed a small smile as Lilly crawled unsteadily over her torso.

"When you start properly talking, you are going to tell me everything all the time," Shepard warned, tapping a gentle finger on the tip of the girl's nose, "no excuses."

Lilly giggled in response.

"Damn right you will."

Shepard lay awake late into the night. Through the dark, her eyes were trained on the pale ceiling that she had unfortunately grown so familiar with. For months between here and her containment on Earth she had felt so useless, so idle. Everyone around her was working towards something, moving toward some sort of goal. She was simply waiting, sitting idly until the next big disaster. Though she knew it wasn't true, at least for the time being she couldn't help but feel there was simply no point to her. An old relic collecting dust. A babysitter.

Hell, she couldn't even have a proper conversation with her...whatever Miranda was. Girlfriend? They still had never really talked about it in that way. Not that it mattered. Neither of them found much value in that sort of thing.

She let out a heavy sigh. It was the most recent of many. Beside her, Miranda shifted and rolled, turning to face her.

"Can't sleep?"

"Sorry," Shepard mumbled, eyes still skyward, "didn't mean to keep you up."

For a moment she thought that was the end of it, but Miranda let out a quiet, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah?" Shepard gave a soft laugh, careful to not disturb Lilly, who was sleeping soundly just feet away. "Me too."

Again, she was so sure the conversation was over, and then, "Can I tell you something?"

Shepard wanted to smack her, just a little bit. "Why are you even asking?"

"Sometimes, when I see the way you are with Liara, I-" as quickly as she had started, she stopped. "Nevermind."

Shepard was on her side in an instant, fully facing Miranda. "Wait." Never had it ever occurred to her that that would be an issue. And suddenly her mind was racing, thinking of all she might have inadvertently done wrong. "Look, I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I promise I would never do that to you on purpose-"

"No, no, no," Miranda chided, quick to shut off that theatrical train of thought. "It's nothing so dramatic. That's not what I meant. I just-" Miranda faltered, biting her lip. Jealousy would be a far easier feeling to explain and justify than the ones she actually had. "If we had never met you would be with her right now."

Across the room Lilly let out a soft sort of snort, gurgling in her sleep. Miranda turned her head away, determined to stare out into the darkness of the room rather than face the woman beside her.

"No," Shepard drawled, "if we had never met I'd be careening through space in a thousand little pieces." She paused, chuckling. "Actually I take that back, by the sounds of it I would probably be stuffed and propped up in the old Shadow Broker's office." She struck a rigid pose.

"I'm serious, Jane."

Shepard groaned. "What do you want me to say? I'm so not even in that place, I could never answer a hypothetical with any certainty. I don't think I would be."

"I do," Miranda insisted.

"Okay?" Shepard shrugged along the mattress not willing to fight a maybe. What did it matter? "Honestly, I don't really understand what's going on here. Am I getting dumped?"

"What?"

"It really seems like you want to get rid of me, but you want me to think it's my idea." Shepard had her eyebrows raised, a stupid grin on her face. "Very shrewd, Miss Lawson." When Miranda didn't laugh, Shepard groaned yet again and dragged a hand across her face.

"Come on, I suck at this stuff." She huffed. "Look, as long as you want me to be-" faltering, she rolled her eyes. "God." She had never been well equipped for these sorts of talks, or smooth enough to handle them with finesse.

"Okay," Shepard finally settled on, taking it slow, "all of this awful stuff has happened. The Reapers, the collectors, your father, all of it." She offered a pointed, teasing look once she had reclaimed Miranda's full attention. "The Illusive Man being batshit insane."

"Jane."

"Sorry."

"No you're not." It may have been a reluctant one, but at least Miranda was smiling.

Calmed by their playfulness, even if marginally, Shepard felt more at ease pushing forward. "I just, all this awful stuff is happening all the time, but it made this good-" she trailed a hand down along the bed, finding Miranda's to lock their fingers together, "great thing. I don't know what's going to happen, and it's been terrifying the whole ride through, but at the very least I'm glad it lead to this."

Miranda swallowed. "I'm glad too," she let a hollow laugh escape, "for whatever that's worth." They were scrambling. No magical solution was going to fall into their laps. It was very likely they were all going to die, and nothing they had ever gone through together would ever have mattered.

Shepard hesitated for a moment, weighing her options. It would be incredibly easy to screw their conversation up, to string the right sequence of words together that would have Miranda pulling back and turning away once more.

Still, there were some admissions Miranda had just made that Shepard knew she couldn't simply let go. They had been through too much for that. Even if it meant risking Miranda's irritation, it had to be said. There shouldn't still be doubts or uncertainties, there shouldn't be discomfort.

"You're going to hate this, so close your eyes and pretend it's not happening"

"What?" Miranda's brow pulled together, and Shepard got the feeling that there was more than curiosity there. The woman was preparing herself for what was to come.

"You're the strongest person I've ever met."

"Oh god," Miranda moaned out, "don't you dare." Instantly she was rolling over to completely face away and escape what was happening.

Shepard was laughing, maybe too hard considering they had been desperate lately in their efforts to keep Lilly asleep for longer than a couple hours at a time.

"Just listen, you brat," she urged as she moved to wrap an arm around the other woman, pulling Miranda tightly to her chest. "You're so strong, even though you've gotten nothing but misery from the rest of us since the very beginning." She let out a heavy breath, closing her eyes as she dropped her forehead against Miranda's shoulder. "I just, i mean, I know it's not much of a consolation, but I want to help. I want to do whatever it takes to make sure that everything you've gone through to get to this point was worth it."

She paused, swallowing. Miranda didn't seem particularly inclined to respond, but at the very least she wasn't pulling away.

"And I know after everything, not a single being in this universe deserves it, but if you're willing to offer one last chance I want to be the one to take it. It's unfair of me to ask, I get it, I do, but please, even though you have no reason to trust anyone, please try to believe that I will never let you down. I promise."

Shepard didn't know if it was the right thing to say. She didn't know if it was even her place to say it, but it was what she felt, what she had always felt since she had begun getting glimpses of the more genuine sides of Miranda, and so she went with her instincts. "For as long as you let me, I'm going to spend every second I can making this life up to you."

Miranda shifted, then stilled, then stiffened. Her legs flexed and stretched. She looked down and then up and always away.

"Is that what you want?"

The arms around her waist tightened.

"How could it not be?"

A/N: Somebody can take the cornbread out of the oven because I think it's ready to serve along this bowl of mush. A cute review awhile back said they were waiting for solid proclamations of love. *shrugs* I'm ruined.

So this was a lot of not that important subplot stuff. I hope it wasn't boring? Sorry if it was. Ha Gwen was the focus this time around so poor Lilly ended up being little more than a set piece, the poor little poop. I don't think she cares much though. She's not phased by much, that nugget. Next time I'll talk about plot stuff more, actually get into wtf Liara and Miranda and friends are actually doing. Even though we all already know for the most part. Still, only count on people standing around and talking to each other because that is clearly ALL I CARE ABOUT I'M SO SORRY.

I have no idea when the next chapter will be. Don't look at me I'm unreliable trash.

P.S you may have noticed I have a super cute new profile pic of Grunt in dog form and that my high school au story has a super rad new cover. You should all go stalk gingerbreadcat on tumblr and fawn over her art and tell her what a treasure she is.