A/N: I do not own Ed, Edd N Eddy or anything related to said product. I am merely a fan that has a high appreciation of the series and fandom. Anyway, howdy there! This is my first fanfic so, here we go! The kids are all in high school during this story also. Credit goes to VampireMeerkat for coming up with the high school concept.
Chapter 1: Commencement
Autumn was in the air. Halloween was just around the corner and the houses were showing off festive décor. Leaves, freshly fallen from trees, were scraping across the asphalt and yards with a pleasant ambiance. The breeze that carried them was cool and crisp, perfect enough for the teenagers of the cul-de-sac to enjoy being outdoors. Well, almost every teenager, with the exception of a certain boy who sat in his room analyzing a rather thick book on different flora found throughout the world.
He had been reading for a rather extended time when he heard a surprisingly loud thud against his window. He jumped and fell out his chair and then scrambled up to look outside. Looking back upwards at him stood Ed and Eddy, his two best friends.
"Hey Sock-Head, get your scrawny ass down and play some ball!", said Eddy, as he went to pick the previously thrown ball up.
Edd opened up his window and stuck his head out to reply. "Eddy I do not wish to get unnecessary filth on me this late just for the mere purpose of sport!"
"Aw don't be a pansy, it'll be good for ya!", replied Eddy, "Besides, you promised you'd play at lunch today!"
"Curse my honest ways", mumbled Double-dee, "Alright fellows I'll be out shortly."
As Edd pulled his head back inside and closed his window, he sighed and headed towards his closet to change clothes. He really wanted to continue reading, however, he did make a promise and always kept them. Fully changed into older clothes, he headed downstairs to his front door.
As he opened the door, Eddy and Ed stood with enormous grins on their faces. "Ready to get dirty brainiac!?", Eddy said with gusto. Ed, who had been rather quiet, aside from other than his trademark laugh perked up. "YEAH DOUBLE-DEE, DIRT TASTES GOOD WITH BUTTERED TOAST!", Ed yelled with a laugh.
Double-dee couldn't help but chuckle at his friends monumental amount of excitement for something as simplistic as football.
"I do hope we are playing touch instead of contact, I still haven't fully removed the grass stains from last weeks game", Edd said with a nervous laugh.
"Ah you'll be ok!", Eddy said, "Just keep moving instead of staying in place like last time and ya won't have to worry about stains!"
An hour later...
"Man Sock-Head, I didn't know arms could bend like that!", laughed Eddy as he slapped his friend. Edd winced greatly and held back a scream that would surely have sounded like a preteen girl if let out.
"Thank you so much Eddy for allowing Rolf to throw me around like a rag-doll the whole game!", Edd replied rather irritably, "I'm sure my arm would not be in this condition if you kept passing me the ball!"
Eddy continued to laugh at his friends misfortune, Ed merely stared off into space with his usual dumbfounded expression strewn across his face.
"Well since that activity of trepidation is over, I bid you gents farewell", said Double-dee as he turned and headed for his abode.
He did not get far however, as soon as he set foot into his yard, he was tackled to the ground. Edd, completely taken aback by this sudden assault, looked up and gazed into his own personal circle of Hades; Marie Kanker.
"Hiya, cutie!", said Marie, lowering her face into Double-dees, "Wanna let me inside where we can have a little private time, maybe practice for the biology test tomorrow?"
Edd stared directly in her eyes and barely got out his response.
"M-Marie, a-a-a pleasnt sup-prise!", replied Edd, sweating rampantly, "I-I however am v-very busy and must attend t-t-to other matters!"
"Aw, but loveboat, I wasn't asking!", smiled Marie rather demonically.
Marie grabbed Edd up and threw him against the side of his house, with a rather sinister smile that suggested nothing but debauchery.
Edd was not alone in his plauge though, As he frantically looked around, he saw Eddy was being chased by Lee, and poor Eds screams could be heard behind his house, begging for mercy from Mays onslaught of unwanted affection.
Marie brought his attention back towards his own perilous predicament, as she had come within mere inches from him.
"Oven-mitt, you sure look sexy all dirtied up", Marie whispered seductively leaning into Edd further, "I could help make you even dirtier!"
"M-Marie w-w-what are you s-suggesting?", Edd managed to garble out, his heart racing at an excruciating pace.
Marie just giggled insanely and licked her lips, moving her face closer to Edds.
Before her deed could be completed, the two 'lovers' heard Lee.
"Alright girls, pack it up!", Lee yelled with her authoritative tone, "We gotta get back, Supernatural is on tonight!"
Mays head popped out from the corner of Eds house, and was beaming. "Oh I do love some Sam Winchester!", she stated with a toothy grin.
Marie let out a small sigh but pulled away, leaving Double-dee trembling against his home.
"Sorry sweetie, Dean takes priority over you!", said Marie, "You'll have to wait until tomorrow!"
With that, Marie blew a kiss at Edd and turned to join her sisters as they walked back to their trailer, leaving the Eds alone for the remainder of the evening.
Edd quickly scrambled over to Ed, as he slowly came out from behind his house with an expression of pure anguish.
"Ed!", yelled Edd with great concern, "Lord man, are you ok?".
Ed just stared off, trembling from head to toe, covered in enough red lipstick that at a quick glance, would look as if he had been severely lacerated.
"Ed, can you hear me?", Double-dee asked, the air of concern unwavering.
"MUST BATHE IN GRAVY!", yelled Ed as he tore off towards his window and slid into it expertly.
Edd could hear his friend sloshing around in his tub of gravy. The idea of such an unsanitary act made Double-dee shiver with nauseating thoughts.
As Edd was turning around, he saw Eddy staring out his bedrooms window from behind his curtains. Somehow, Eddy had evaded Lee to lock himself in his room. When Eddy saw that the coast was clear, he stepped out and walked over to Edd, who was recovering from his unwanted encounter.
"Man Sock-Head, they came outta nowhere huh?", said Eddy.
"It was so nice of you to try and help us, Eddy!", retorted Double-dee with irritation lacing his voice. "Poor Ed is down in his room now, bathing..", Edd was saying before being cut off by Eddy. "Ed's bathing!?", said a shocked Eddy. "Well, if you count a gravy bath, then yes Eddy, he most certainly is", said Edd.
The boys stood and heard more sloshing coming from Eds room, followed by Ed screaming something of the girl virus from Deathplanet 98 has befallen him.
Eddy laughed at this and turned to his ski-hatted friend. "Well, it's dark and I'm beat from the game, I'll see ya tomorrow Double-dee",said Eddy as he turned to walk towards his house.
"Alright Eddy, remember tomorrow is our first biology test of the semester!', replied Edd.
"Shit, I forgot...oh well", said Eddy. He stood a moment longer and a sudden realization dawned upon him. "Hey, you know next Friday is the big Halloween party right?", said Eddy with a grin, "You got your costume set yet?".
Edd had honestly forgotten about Eddys little get-together. "Im still deciding upon between Albert Einstein and a venus fly trap".
Eddy stared back at him and shook his head, "You know your costume is supposed to be scary, not a school lesson." Eddy didn't wait for his friends reply, he turned around and waved as he entered his room and closed the door.
Edd mumbled about Eddy's poor study habits and his poor recognition in costume ideas as he entered his house, locking the door behind him just in case of another 'surprise'.
Edd ascended the stairs towards his room to collect his pajamas and start preparations for bed. As he gathered up an old black tee shirt and some novelty sleeping pants that had beakers and test tubes strewn across on the pattern, he felt something in his front pocket that he knew wasn't there before he left his home to play.
Edd reached and pulled out a piece of paper that was folded once. He unfolded it, and as soon as his eyes grazed the first word, his eyes appeared as if they were trying to escape his head.
Hi lover boy,
You should call me sometime.
You know you should.
We could meet up, study and have some one on one "face time"!
See ya tomorrow, oven-mitt!
- Marie XO
Edd stared at the note in despair as he grimaced at the number at the bottom of the note. "Oh dear...", Edd said as he set the note down and proceeded to the bathroom to get washed up for bed. School was gonna be here before he knew it. With that prospect in mind, he shivered at what awaited him in the morning.
Well, there's chapter 1! Any criticism is greatly appreciated. I want to become a better writer and be able to tell better stories...so rate, review and all that stuff. Chapter 2 will be out soon!