A/N: I am not too sure how this came about. I think I saw a gif, on tumblr, of Kurt looking really sad and it made me come back to this story, desperate as I am to write something other than university work. I can see myself writing a little chapter like this for all the couples in the story. I just might.

No Amount Of Glue

Chapter Five

"I ... I can't ..., I can't can't ... breathe."

These are the words first out of Kurt's mouth, broken apart by sobs and tears still half held back, his own buried against Blaine's body, curled into the warm, firm hold. Only Blaine has ever held him like this.

In years Kurt has only ever allowed Blaine this close, but still, even now, he is afraid of completely letting go. Now that Rachel is home at her parents, Santana insisting on staying with her instead of going home herself.

When they had first gotten here Rachel's dads had waited for them at the Hummels' home, had taken Rachel home only hours later, all of which had been spent Carole and Rachel, and really everyone else, crying, together. Holding on ... to something, though no one could tell you what with Finn gone, dead. Forever.

"I ..., I," Kurt keeps starting, keeps stopping, afraid to stumble over his own words. Afraid of what he will say ... do, if he completely lets go.

Blaine can feel it in the tenseness of Kurt's every muscle, every bone locked too tight into place, breaths, shallow, burning in Kurt's chest.

Usually Blaine would try and talk to Kurt, try and make him talk, talking can help so much after all.

Nothing about this though is ... usual. "You only get one brother, Blaine." He cannot stop thinking about Kurt's words that day Blaine himself had almost lost his own brother. He knows, too, that that does not compare, nowhere near compares to the loss Kurt has to suffer through. But that exactly is why Blaine actually does understand ... all of it, so much better than anyone would ever expect. It had hurt so much, even only having to think '... maybe, maybe Cooper does not want me in his life. Why else would he treat me this way?' But if it had come to that, that day, there would still have been the knowledge that that person you inexplicably and unquestionably love, but whose life you somehow do not seem to fit into, that that person is living on, without you, but ..., somewhere.

Kurt gets none of that, because this is not about maybe, or sometime, or one day.

'This is forever.' Pain, forever. It will stick around, and keep showing up, forever. And there is nothing Blaine can do to make it okay again.

There is nothing anyone can do.

"Blaine?" Kurt sobs out as his boyfriend suddenly pulls him in, in an almost violent manner. The boy cannot help himself.

And maybe this is a time for words after all, "Kurt, Love, I ..., I don't know what to say, except, he loved you, and he cared about you, he cared about you so much. You need to remember that, you need to remember the times he made you happy and you him. All those times he surprised you and made you laugh, and you him. Honey," Kurt is shaking harder again with silent cries in Blaine's arms, Blaine's words piercing, sharp, and Blaine's arms still locked tight around Kurt, holding him, silently promising he is still right here, not leaving, not going anywhere, "... honey, tell me, tell me you favourite memory of Finn. Please?"

It comes out light lightning, Kurt does not have to think about it at all it seems to Blaine, "He dressed up in a red shower curtain and protected me. He asked me to dance in front of EVERYONE at the wedding. He loved my dad just as much as I do. I have a mom again ... because of him. ... ."

And Kurt goes on still sobbing and crying and occasionally losing his track of thoughts or words, but he goes on listing little things and big ones. Blaine has never heard Kurt talk this much about his brother, but he guesses if someone is well, and there, and ... alive, there are no stories needed to be told, because there are always new ones to have, to live, and that is so much more, so so much more than enough.

Blaine lies awake with Kurt all night tonight wondering when anything will ever be enough again.

It will be a long wait, a long while.