Prologue

Empty. I felt, empty. Like my life had been taken away from me, wandering alone without that one dominant presence to keep me from going insane. I missed him, I missed his dark noises, I missed his games and I even missed his irritating traits. I missed it when he used to throw pillows around when he didn't want me to do something, but now even his single presence was gone.

Aiden.

But my thoughts stayed jumbled, the less time he spent in my life, the more I forgot. I couldn't remember a lot, where things went on the timeline or whether I remembered things right. It was like somebody had taken away pieces and placed them in the wrong order. Sometimes I swore that the memories still floating around in my mind, were just a figment of my own imagination. I was losing emotional connection to my life, the life before he left.

I remain alone for now. Trying to make sure of things, writing down memories when I remembered them so later on I could play catch-up by trying to put them in the right order. All I wanted was to pick up the pieces and remember where they went.

I thought I would be happy without him. For years of my life I could have never imagined him leaving me, and sometimes I would wish him away, I wanted to be normal. I wanted to have a life, to fall in love and grow old. But now I've got what I wanted, and I had never been so unhappy. This was my choice. I had chosen to spend every day of my life crying, wishing Aiden would return to me. But he wasn't coming back, I knew that, but I would still cling onto the hope that he would come back. That he was still in the air above me, watching down on me and making sure I stayed safe.

For a long time I would sit wondering where to go. Should I stay alone? Should I go with my gut instinct and stay away? But it was so obvious. I had needed the silence to feel my thoughts, to actually hear them for the first time without something being there to sway me. And so, through living by a river for several months, I had decided where I wanted to finally take my life.

I wanted the life I had always dreamed of, and now nothing could stop me from taking it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those who have noticed, yes this prologue is identical to my fanfic by Ryan's path. It doesn't make sense without it, and yes I do ship Jodie with two characters so I decided to write fanfics about both. I adore both Ryan AND Jay with Jodie, so I couldn't just write about one. Hope you enjoy these!