Original prompt: Somehow, Makoto accidentally dials Rin(or any of the other boys or Gou) while he and Haru are getting it on. Whoever receives the call is subjected to very vocal Makoto and maybe Haru's version of dirty talk that just sounds weird to them but is obviously turning Makoto on a lot if his moaning is any indication. The person ends up listening the whole time out of curiosity, then gets really awkward the next time he/she sees MakoHaru.
note: if filler goes with Rin as the call-ee, please no one-sided RinHaru or RinMako or ot3 since I ship RinTori (*wink wink*)

Bonus: in case filler decides to have Gou as the call-ee, would love it if that call makes her discover the wonders of being a fujoshi. It all goes downhill from there as she starts shipping MakoHaru, NagiRei, and RinTori lol.

Bonus2: Haru tops the hell out of Makoto

Warnings: m/m, masturbation, Haru's version of 'dirty talk'.

The Call

Kou tapped her foot impatiently, the sound muffled against the tacky carpet of the hotel lobby, and snuck another look at her wristwatch. Fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes she'd been waiting already, and neither of them had the decency to send her a text and let her know if they were even on their way. Not that they should have to, considering they were staying just eight floors up and, being boys, shouldn't have needed more than ten minutes between the two of them to shower and dress for the evening.

It was their last night before returning to Iwatobi. The money they'd scrounged together from the school and from their own team fundraisers had earned them enough to stay in the hotel an extra night after Regionals, and while the team had been disqualified for the little stunt they'd pulled with Rin, as manager Kou felt they should still get a chance to celebrate the victory that was rightfully theirs. She'd gone ahead and made reservations at a restaurant and karaoke bar the hotel concierge assured her was very popular, and she'd even invited Rin and some of his teammates from Samezuka.

Already she'd received a text from her brother to let her know they were en route to the restaurant. The idea of arriving last when she'd been the one to organize the outing made her cheeks flush angrily, and she whipped her phone out of her purse. Her finger hovered over the contact page of one Captain Makoto-Senpai when she heard Nagisa calling out to her.

Kou exhaled a sigh of relief and locked her phone. "I told you a thousand times already to call me Kou."

Nagisa giggled in that way of his – the one that made it impossible to stay mad at him – and offered his brightest smile to her. "Aw, you're no fun."

"Forgive us for being tardy," Rei said, before Kou had a chance to argue back with Nagisa. He bowed his head in apology, and Kou noticed his hair stuck out at odd angles in the back.

"Is this how you normally style your hair?" she teased when he'd straightened to his full height.

Rei blinked, brought a hand to the back of his head, and blushed when his fingers came into contact with the unsightly kinks. "Ah, th-that's..." His voice trailed off as he shot a pointed glare toward Nagisa, who burst out laughing.

Kou shook her head, feeling a bit bad for Rei having to share a room with someone who so mercilessly took advantage of him all the time. Maybe she would talk to Makoto and Haru and see if one of them would be kind enough to switch, if only so Rei could have a single night's worth of peace. After giving up his place in the relay to Rin, Rei had earned at least that.

"You haven't seen the others, have you? I tried calling a few minutes ago but no one answered."

"Haru-chan and Mako-chan?" Nagisa bounced on the balls of his feet, eyes agleam. "We knocked on their door on the way to the elevator, but they seemed a bit... preoccupied."

Kou's brow furrowed. "Preoccupied?" Was something the matter? Everyone's spirits seemed lifted after the tournament, even with the verdict of their disqualification. Unless something happened, like a fight? She found it hard to even imagine that. Makoto and Haru were such close friends; she'd never even heard one offer an opinion that contradicted the other. "Are they okay?"

Rei swallowed audibly and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Th-they're fine. In fact, they shouldn't be much longer."

Well, that was a relief, but it didn't explain what was going on. Maybe they would tell her later. "If that's the case, you two should go on ahead."

"You should come along too, Gou-kun! Haru-chan and Mako-chan can catch up to us," Nagisa insisted, grabbing her hand.

Kou shook her head, expression souring. "Don't use Gou and –kun together. It's so boyish." Nagisa pouted when she freed her hand from his. "You two go. At least that way there will be some representation of our team. The reservation is under my name." Noticing Nagisa's wolfish grin, she snapped before he could even attempt the joke again. "Matsuoka."

After Rei successfully steered Nagisa out the lobby doors – Kou hearing the blonde shout along the way about not going too hard on Makoto because he already had something hard to deal with – Kou swiped to the contact page of her cell phone.

This time before she could dial, it started to ring. Kou's annoyance didn't fade as Makoto's gentle smile lit up the main screen. She tapped the answer key and brought the phone to her ear. "I hope you have a good explanation for—"

"Spread your legs a bit."

Kou's eyes bulged at the demand, spoken in a throaty but clearly recognizable voice. "H-Haruka-senpai?"

Her own voice came out as a distressingly high-pitched squeak. Was this some kind of prank? She knew Haru had a bit of a strange sense of humor, and most of the time it was impossible for anyone but Makoto to tell when he was teasing versus being serious, but this kind of joke seemed totally out of character for him. Not only that, but she had difficulty believing the kindhearted and easily-flustered Makoto would actually go along with it – unless he didn't realize what Haru was doing?

No, Makoto was definitely there too. Kou heard him next, although he sounded far breathier than usual.

"H-Haru-chan, we don't have t-time—"

There was some rustling, and then Haru did something that made Makoto keen lowly.

"Drop the –chan." More rustling, and then his voice sounded farther away. "Unless you're that eager for my dolphin to swim in your ocean?"

"Haru—H-Haru, I..."

Kou shielded her flaming face with a hand, mind still attempting to process what was happening on the other line. Makoto and Haru had that kind of relationship? She thought about all the times they spent together as a group, going over each glance the pair exchanged with a critical eye. It was true they were closer than the average friends. They had matching water bottles and cell phones, and always shared headphones and popsicles and drinks with each other. Kou always blamed it on Haru's inherent laziness and Makoto's tendency to mother him, but now...

"Ah! Haru, d-don't use water!"

"Dolphin can't survive without water."

"But it's cold—"

Judging from the slight echo and the faint sloshing in the background, Kou assumed this was taking place in their bathroom. Would Haru have Makoto pressed against the sink, or bent over the tub? She'd never really thought about two guys having sex – and she'd definitely never fantasized about any of her teammates before. That would have made swim practice far too awkward. Now she was broaching both taboos at the same time, and for some reason, even though she knew this should be a private moment between Haru and Makoto, she couldn't bring herself to hang up.

She imagined both of them shirtless, their muscles gleaming with the aid of the bathwater Haru insisted on using as foreplay. Makoto would be spread lewdly before the tub, legs parted but pants still caught around his ankles so he couldn't move too much – and that was exactly how Haru would like to see him, unwound but still bound to his whims, Haru the only one to tame the powerful waves that lurked beneath Makoto's peaceful façade.

Haru would cup water between his palms and let it seep through his fingers and drip onto Makoto's chest, would watch how it caressed his sternum and slipped between his defined pectorals. Makoto's nipples would harden and he'd squirm, attempting to find purchase on the bathroom floor because Haru instructed him not to touch just yet. As the water teased along Makoto's ribcage Haru would follow it, and his tongue would erase the trail it made down to the sharp V of his hips, where Makoto's leaking erection waited for him.

"Haru," Makoto groaned.

Kou tugged at the collar of her blouse with her free hand, glancing surreptitiously about the lobby. No one paid her the slightest bit of attention, but still. She needed to take this call elsewhere. Returning to her room was out of the question. Not only would that take too long, but there was also a chance their phone connection might sever in the elevator.

Instead, she slipped into the lobby's public restroom, which by some miracle was empty. Just to make sure it remained so, she locked the door, and then she stretched out on one of the plush waiting chairs. She was tempted to push the speaker button so their voices could surround her, but she didn't want to chance them becoming aware of their audience. Popping open the top buttons of her shirt, she contented herself with the private whispers in her ear.

Makoto was getting close. Whatever Haru was doing to him was done with practiced ease. He knew all the right buttons to press, which made Kou wonder just how long this relationship had been going on under her nose. In her mind's eye she watched Haru take Makoto into his mouth, and between her legs a familiar heat blossomed.

To the undeniably sexy soundtrack of Haru sucking Makoto off, Kou took her own pleasure. How wrong she'd been to forbid these types of thoughts about her team. This was gold. Pure gold. And as her fingers crept beyond the folds of her skirt, she had to suppress the urge to comment on what she was hearing. Deeper, she wanted to say. She rubbed her finger against the damp spot on her panties and bit down on her bottom lip. Take him in deeper.

Makoto would be hot in Haru's stretched mouth, but his fullness one that Haru had many opportunities to get used to by this point. Haru would run his tongue teasingly along the underside of the shaft – which elicited the delicious moan currently ringing in Kou's ear – and with one hand knead Makoto's balls. His other hand he'd lift to Makoto's mouth, and that accounted for the obscene slurping coming from the team captain.

A particularly hard suck and Makoto cried out. Kou imagined him bucking into Haru's mouth, Haru having to steady his hips with one hand as he shot Makoto a warning glare. Under the heat of his gaze Makoto would tremble, as Kou felt herself trembling now. She slipped her index finger inside of herself, unable to contain the soft gasp that escaped her. This was just too much, too good. Who would have ever guessed Haru could be like this? She supposed, given Makoto's more docile personality, it made sense for Haru to take control of him – although the idea of seeing those roles reversed also greatly appealed to her. Kou almost wished she could witness it in person, but there was a strange pleasure came with knowing they had no idea what they shared with her.

A wet pop echoed as Haru pulled himself off of Makoto. She thrust a second finger into herself as she imagined him palming his own erection.

"Can't wait to sail my ship into your storm," Haru murmured. Of course he would continue to use water innuendos. She found it weird, but apparently the words had the exact opposite effect on Makoto.

"Set sail," Makoto practically begged. His chest would be heaving, face flushed and eyes needy as he reached urgently for his partner. Haru would allow it now, because he was at the brink of desperation himself, all too eager to sink into Makoto.

"This tempest rages just for— just for me."

Kou nodded in agreement with Haru as she moved her hips in time with the thrust of her fingers, straining her ears to pick up Makoto's affirmative moan.

"Always you, Haru– a-always—ah!"

Makoto's voice cut off sharply. Haru would be pressing in now, unable to contain his desire another minute. He was the sort to take what he wanted, when he wanted, but he was considerate too, at least when it came to Makoto. He wouldn't go too fast, not yet, not until Makoto was ready. Kou heard the light kisses he pressed to Makoto's lips, the sighs of appreciation from Makoto.

There was some shifting, rearranging of limbs. Maybe Haru laid Makoto on the floor – but, no, the tile wouldn't be very comfortable. No, Haru would prop himself against the cool porcelain tub and sit Makoto on his lap. He'd give Makoto a few seconds to adjust and then he'd thrust up.

Both of their moans echoed through the line. Kou squirmed and bit her tongue to quell the heady sound that threatened to break free as she rubbed a finger against her clit. She thought of how Makoto's thighs would clench with each movement he made, how the muscles of his back and shoulders would tense up as he rode Haru. Each little noise they made shot another spark of arousal through her. Makoto was the more vocal one now, but there was no mistaking the short grunts playing in harmony to his groans. They came together in a kiss that sounded sloppy, and left their breathing even more ragged when they parted.

It didn't last much longer – though Kou didn't deny the small part of her that wished they would go on for eternity. Makoto came first, already quite undone by Haru's talented mouth. Kou's eyelids fluttered at the thought of his seed coating Haru's stomach. Kou imagined Haru gripping Makoto's hips tightly, bucking into Makoto with all the strength he could muster as the waves of Makoto's orgasm crested over him. Her body pulsated with the shock of her own orgasm just as Haru hit his peak. This time she didn't get a chance to muffle her pleasured cry. Her hips pressed down furtively against her fingers as her inner walls spasmed.

"H-Haru, did you—"

She quickly hit the 'call end' button on her phone.

' ' '

Kou ended up throwing her panties in the garbage, hiding them cleverly beneath some unused tissues. She was able to pat herself down with a damp paper towel and touch up her makeup so nothing appeared out of the ordinary, but the undergarments were too risky to wear out, and it wasn't as if she'd never gone without them. It was just more awkward knowing her brother would be there.

As mortifying as she was sure that would be, nothing compared to stepping back into the lobby and seeing Makoto and Haru waiting by the doors. They looked no different than usual, save for both having wet hair from what was more than likely a joint shower, and they stood at a friendly distance from one another. If not for the blush creeping down Makoto's neck Kou would have believed she dreamed the entire phone call.

"S-sorry to keep you waiting," Makoto stammered, refusing to meet her eyes. "Haru was... a bit long in the bath."

"More than a bit long," Haru said. Kou grasped the implication at the same moment Makoto seemed to. So this was Nanase Haruka making a penis joke. After what she'd heard of his dirty talk, she really wasn't surprised to find it equally awful.

Makoto covered his face with his hands. "I am so sorry, Kou-chan." Whether he meant for Haru's horrible sense of humor, or the fact he'd accidentally called her during sex, Kou wasn't sure.

Either way, he had nothing to apologize for. The former couldn't be helped, and the latter had been just as enjoyable for her as it had sounded for them. Kou waved her hand dismissively. "We should get going."

Makoto nodded, all too eager to sweep the incident under the rug. He practically bolted from the hotel. Haru and Kou followed at an easy pace.

They walked the first block in silence, but as they rounded the corner Kou couldn't help herself. "So you call it a 'dolphin', huh?" she whispered, so Makoto wouldn't overhear.

Haru jammed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and turned his head to the side.

' ' '

Throughout dinner, more than the delicious food, hilarious attempts her friends made at karaoke, or flirtatious advances from Mikoshiba, all Kou could focus on were the way Makoto and Haru stole glances at each other throughout the night. Haru held Makoto's hand a moment longer than necessary when Makoto passed him the bottle of hot sauce, and their thighs brushed whenever one of them shifted in their chair.

How had she never noticed before? Now that she knew the truth, their relationship seemed almost painfully obvious.

But they weren't the only ones.

Nagisa teasing Rei seemed more flirtatious now than anything. Kou recalled the mussed state of Rei's hair when they met her in the hotel lobby, and her mind wandered with all the devilish things they could have been up to in their room beforehand.

And even her brother! The way mousy-haired Nitori Aiichirou stared longingly at Rin made Kou's heart beat a little faster in her chest, even though Rin hardly offered the smaller boy a smile in return.

Really, Mikoshiba seemed to be the only one in her group of friends who wasn't pining after one of the other guys. He sidled up to Kou midway through the evening, after Kou rushed away from the adorable sight of Nagisa feeding Rei French fries and licking the excess salt from his fingertips. It wouldn't do to get worked up in front of everyone.

"Everything okay?" he asked. "Your face is a bit red."

Kou pursed her lips and pretended to search through the karaoke track options. "It's nothing," she hastened to assure him.

"Ai," her brother's distinct voice filtered above the rest. Nitori's cheeks colored as he stuttered out a response. Rin offered his hand, looking a bit flustered himself. "We're up next. Let's show these losers how it's done."

"Ah," Mikoshiba intoned, following her line of sight. "Does it make you uncomfortable, that your brother's in that kind of relationship?"

Kou shook her head fervently. She clasped her hands together, eyes shining like the first time she'd laid eyes on Haru's triceps. "The love between boys is amazing!"

End.

Lawli: And thus, a fujoshi was born! x3

This is slightly edited from the kinkmeme version. I added some spiffy italics and such.