Hey guys, here a one shot. I got the idea from "Saving Amy "by Brantley Gilbert and little of "Another set of wings "by a rocket to the moon, I hope you guys like it.

Whoa, where the fuck am I?

I looked around and saw that I was close to my house and all the lights were all. Bella's home, but how the hell did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was running with Seth. He was bitching and complaining about his imprint. We then smelled a bloodsucker and I ran after the stupid leech. I remember everything fading to black and then a sharp pain on the side of my head. I probably knocked myself out. But why the fuck am I in front of my house and why the fuck am I so cold?

I scanned the area, it was so quiet. Nothing good ever comes out from a silent street. As I got up, I saw Sam and Jacob walking down the street. I called out to them, but they didn't hear me. I ran up to them and felt short of breath as I reached them.

"Hey, you assholes, didn't you hear me?" I asked.

Sam looked like he was trying to hold back tears. Oh shit, what the hell could he be crying about?

"How do you think she'll take it?" Sam queried, talking to Jacob.

"Who's going to take what?" I inquired, but they were both ignoring me. I smacked Jacob's arm, but he didn't see fazed.

Jacob rubbed the back of his neck, and his eyes were also pooling with tears. Why is everyone crying? What the hell has gotten them so sad?

"If I know Bells, she'll not take it well. He was her rock, but now he's gone. We need to be there for her." Jacob muttered, sniffling.

What the hell was he talking about? Did something happen to Bella's father? Besides me being her 'rock', her father was too.

Sam stared at my house, then back at Jacob. "We better get in there soon. If we wait any longer, it's not gonna do us any favours."

They walked right past me and went up to my house. They knocked on the door and I saw the front porch lights turn on. Bella swung the door open and invited them in and she looked mildly confused, probably wondering where I am. I admired her face - she's a gorgeous human, despite her negative thoughts about herself.

"Hey guys, I was about to call you. Paul's work called me today and said that he didn't show up." Bella explained.

I walked into the house and she shut the door behind us. Now I know for a fact something was going on, Bella always kissed me on the cheek when I got home.

Sam looked around the house and his eyes stopped at a picture that hung on the wall. It was a picture of the entire pack that Bella took a couple of years ago. I had Jared in a headlock and the rest of the pack were just looking completely crazy. Bella had that picture printed a few times, giving it to every member of the pack as a gift.

"Sam, are you okay?" Bella asked, noticing Sam's dejected behaviour.

Jacob took hold of her hand and breathed in deeply. "Bells, something happened today."

Bella frowned in confusion. "What do you mean something happened? Where's Paul? Is he okay?" Her voice immediately to jump octaves high.

Sam and Jacob exchanged looks before shaking their heads. Bella ripped her hand from Jacob and backed up against the wall.

"No..." Bella shook her head, looking down. "no...no..." Her eyes started to well up with tears. "no...Jake, Sam, please...no..."

She fell to the ground crying. I ran to her side and touched her face, but she didn't seem to notice me. Jacob was at her side, holding her in his arms.

Seriously, what the fuck is going on? I stared at Sam, who looked completely broken.

"Bella, we were so close but we were also too late. There was way too many of them to take on." Sam said.

Bella sobbed in Jacob's arms. I put my back against the wall, sitting next to my imprint. Did Sam just imply that I was dead? I'm dead? Then why the hell am I still here? Why am I here to see my girl break down like this?

I glanced at Bella who was crying into Jacob's shoulder. I saw Sam break down in tears and the only person in the room who was crying was me.

I stood by a huge oak tree, watching my own funeral.

Luckily, it was a sunny day and there were a lot of people that had shown up. I still can't believe that I'm dead. I had to watch Bella and the others for the past few days hear about my death, and it wasn't fun. Bella was a mess. She can hardly walk into our bedroom without bursting into tears. Every time she sleeps, she would call out my name and I would come running to her side, telling her that I'm here. But every single time, she couldn't hear me.

They lowered my body into the grave and into the prepared casket that lay open, waiting for my body to be placed in it.

I walked to the front of the crowd to stare at my burial. I glanced at Billy, who was saying a prayer and telling them all about my life and how I was. I then stared at my family. The first person I saw was Seth, sitting on a chair next to his imprint. I could tell that he was blaming himself for this. That kid always blamed himself for things that weren't even his fault.

Then I saw Sam and Emily, holding their two month baby boy named Max. Emily had him propped on her thigh and Sam stared at the casked, his face blank. I then looked at Kim and Jared. Next to Bella, Jared was taking this the hardest. I guess he was the one who found my body. I'm also guessing that bloodsucker had a fun time dancing on me. Then there was Bella and Jacob, who sat next to each other. Next to Bella, was her father who held her hand while she spilled silent tears.

That's basically all she has been doing for the past week. She never talks, eats or sleeps. Leah had to force Bella to get in the shower and help her get ready for today. Even with hallowed cheeks and wearing black, she was still beautiful. She was wearing the ring I had given her for our engagement. I guess those plans are long gone now.

When everything was over with, everyone departed except Bella, who stood over my buried casket. I stood next to her and noticed she was playing with something in her hand. Then, when I looked closer, it was a note. It was written in my hand writing. It was the note I had left her the night after we first made love to each other. I told her not to be upset and that I had to go, otherwise Sam would kick my ass if I was late. I had told her that I would make it up to her that night. If I remember correctly, I made it up to her more than once.

Bella breathed in a shaky, sharp breath. "I miss you, Paul."

"I miss you too, Bella." I whispered back.

The sad thing about this was that I never got to tell her how much I appreciated her and that I wanted to say goodbye.

It has been five months since my funeral.

I'm still hanging around, watching everyone move on with their lives. Jared managed to cope really well. Seth stopped beating himself up for what had happened. Everyone was doing better.

Then there was Bella, who stood in front of our home. She hadn't stepped foot in the house since my funeral. Her father had forced her to get someone to get all the important memorabilia and things she would need. She had been living with Sue and her father. Charlie knew that she didn't want to go back in there, but he was taking it slowly. Soon enough, she will be okay and start healing.

She walked up to the door and turned the knob but didn't open the door. I walked up behind her.

"Come on, baby, you can do this." I murmured into her ear.

With a deep breath, she opened the door and took a step inside. She braced herself, looking around. Her eyes landing on the picture of us at the bonfire at the beach three years ago. She had taken a picture of both of us, my head resting on her shoulder, hugging her from behind.

She walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed and I sat next to her. She opened a drawer and pulled out one of my shirts. She held it to her face, breathing in my scent.

"Why did you have to leave me, Paul?" She asked, her voice cracking. "I loved you and you just left me here. There's an emptiness in me now...I need you."

Her eyes were watering and I put my hand on her thigh. I knew she couldn't feel it, but it comforted me. I just wished it comforted her too.

"Oh honey." Jacob said, entering our bedroom and kneeling in front of her. "Come here, let's get you out of here."

Bella shook her head, gripping my t-shirt tightly. "I need to go through all his stuff."

Jake put his hand on her knee. "How about I get the guys to come in here and go through the stuff? They could pack up his things for you. Whenever you're ready, you can just go through it yourself."

Bella nodded.

Afterwards, he brought her back to Charlie and Sue's. He went back to my house, this time with Sam, Embry and Jared. They stood inside the house.

"Do you think we should take the picture of him down?" Embry asked.

"Yeah, I think we should take it all down. Bella will be living here again and she needs to start healing without reminders." Jacob said, reaching up for the frame.

"Do you really think taking down all of this will help her?" Jared asked. "She'll know it's not there and she'll remember."

Sam put a hand on Jared's shoulder. "No, but it could help her. When she's ready, she can put everything back up. Jacob knows Bella better than any of us, and if he thinks it will help her, then we should do it."

Jared walked into the bedroom with an empty box, leaving the everyone in the living room.

"I guess he's not really okay." Embry said.

I followed Jared into the bedroom to see him holding a picture of him and I.

"Fuck!" He shouted, throwing the frame against the wall. "Why did you have to be so cocky and go by yourself? We're supposed to work in pairs! You fucking dumb ass...now look what happened. You're gone! You're gone." He was shaking. "You know, I was the one to find your body. You have no idea what it's like to see your best friend laying on the ground...just...dead."

I stood still. "I'm so sorry. If I just knew...I wouldn't have...I wish I could go back and change everything. Now, I have to watch you all suffer. But it's too late for me to change anything, so I need you to watch over my girl." I pleaded. He looked up like he heard me.

He stared at nothing. "God, I miss you."

With that, he put everything away in boxes.

After all of them were finished, the house looked like I was never there. It was sad to see all my things packed in boxes. I was 26 years old and everything I owned fit in six boxes. I watched them from the window, they were looking back at the house with sad smiles on their faces. Some day they will be okay, but I'm not so sure about Bella.

It's been two years since I died.

I haven't really been around much. When I'm there, I'm watching over Bella. Everything's better and everyone did move on with their lives. But they never forgot me.

I managed to find my own personal heaven. It was peaceful and I could watch everybody but I didn't do much of that. It hurt seeing them and knowing that I couldn't talk to them. She needed to start living without me. She had been doing better since she moved back into our house, but she hasn't gone through the boxes yet. She started to live again, though. She went out with her friends and went to this meeting thing every week for those who can not handle losing their loved ones. It seemed to help her. But I could see in her eyes that she was still depressed.

Jared and Kim had a little boy last month and named him after me. Jared had been telling stories to his son about me every night. Every Sunday, Bella and him would go out for lunch. He had been there for her, and continued to do so.

Bella got a job with the newspaper as the photographer. It got her out of the house for most of the day. She didn't like sitting around the house for too long, because it made her mind wander. One day, she was taking pictures on the side of the road that got an 18 wheeler nearly hit her. I shouted for her to move and her head snapped up and she moved away, thankfully. Everyone ran up to her to see if she was okay. She looked bewildered, like she had heard me and was looking for me.

She half-smiled.

It has been four years since I died.

I was watching Bella sitting on our bedroom floor, surrounded by boxes. She had old letters that I had written to her. She smiled at them. It was nice to see her smile genuinely. It was so much better than the forced, fake smiles she had to wear all the time a couple years ago. She pulled out a letter, one that I had written telling her that I loved her. I didn't know how to put it into words, so it as badly written but she understood what I was trying to say. She read it over a thousand times before putting it in a picture frame.

The next day, she visited my grave. She sat down in front of it and put her hand on the tombstone.

"Hey, Paul," She began. "I know it's been a long time, but I'm doing better. I'm really happy with how my life turned out...you know, when Jacob and Sam told me what happened to you, I didn't want to believe it. I thought you would be coming through the front door, smiling like nothing happened." She sighed. "But that never happened. I know you're watching over me. I don't know if you're a ghost or an angel or something...but I know when you're around and when you're not."

Kneeling in front of her, I burst into a wide smile. I knew she sensed me. I caressed her face and she leaned into the touch, as if I was there.

"I love you, Paul. I know you said you will always be by my side...but I have to let you go. It's your turn to move on." Her tears trickled down her cheeks, just missing my palm by millimetres, "I hate knowing that you're only around just because of me. You need to rest in peace."

I stroked her cheek with my thumb. "I love you, Bella. I'll always be watching over you."

With a smile on her face, the last tear fell.

I understood what she meant by moving on. I will, I can, but I'm always going to be watching over her until her last breath. I will be waiting for her, I will hold her in my arms again and make up for lost time.

We will be together again, in heaven.

Our heaven.

Edited and Beta'd by: Moriarty's Diary