Stay
A/N: After some more angsty and tragic fare I decided it was time to write a happier Sleeping Warrior story. The scene in 3x03 just left so much room to build a story, to write what happens next, so I decided to do that. I do hope you'll enjoy this and as always your feedback in the form of comments or Tumblr messages (shesamarshmallow) is greatly appreciated.
There are a few moments as Mulan walks away that Aurora just stands there, completely still, just staring. She's at a loss for words. She didn't expect that. When Mulan said she had good news Aurora didn't expect her to say that she was leaving. How could Mulan be leaving? After all this time they've spent together, after all the time she spent with Phillip. It didn't feel real, so she just stood there, staring. As she was almost out the door though, she couldn't just stand there and stare.
"Mulan…wait," Aurora cried out. "Don't leave."
Mulan turned back around without hesitation. She couldn't ignore that voice. She couldn't walk away from Aurora as she pleaded with her to stay.
"My work here is done Aurora. I helped Phillip to find you and you to save him. I have brought you back together as you wished. I need to move on, to help others."
"Your work? We are your friends Mulan, at least I thought we were," the hurt in Aurora's voice was clear and it broke Mulan's heart to hear it.
"Of course you are," Mulan started, taking a step closer to the princess. "I didn't mean it in that way. I care for you, and Phillip. It's just as I said; I need to move on. Robin Hood and his men, they can use my skills."
Mulan could see tears begin to fall from Aurora's eyes. One second she was calm, her eyes dry but now her cheeks were wet with sadness. She felt a pang in her chest. She hated to see the other woman upset. She had turned to walk away, tears in her own eyes but she hadn't expected Aurora to match her anguish.
"I'm asking you to stay Mulan. I want you to stay," Aurora pleaded, the heartache evident in her broken voice.
"I can't," Mulan's voice broke. She was barely able to get it out but it was loud enough for Aurora to hear.
"Why not? You are my best friend Mulan. I need you and I'm asking you to stay. Why isn't that enough of a reason for you?"
"Because you call me your best friend. I'm sorry Aurora, I wish I could stay here with you and be your best friend, but I can't. It just hurts too much."
As Mulan turned to walk away once more Aurora again found herself just staring. She didn't think she could say what she wanted to say, what she needed to say and what Mulan desperately needed to hear her say.
"I love you too," Aurora blurted out. It was sudden and she hadn't been preparing to say it but Mulan, her love was ready to walk out of her life and she couldn't let her go.
Mulan turned around again. She was just as stunned as Aurora that those words had just come out of her mouth.
"I'm sorry," Aurora added, "I know you didn't say it. I just thought…I figured…that's why you…"
Aurora was cut off though by a finger on her lips. Mulan had come closer again, standing in front of her, staring into her eyes, still mostly in shock.
"I do love you."
"That's what you came here to say."
"That's what I came here to say." Mulan repeated Aurora's words as they both allowed the revelation to sink in.
Mulan had come back to the castle to confess her love to Aurora. She had come expecting nothing, but hoping for everything. Now though she was so confused. She hadn't confessed her love because Aurora told her that she and Phillip are expecting a child. She had chosen to sacrifice her own happiness so that Aurora could be happy. She had walked away so all of Aurora's dreams really could come true. She hadn't expected this though. She never expected that she would be standing here, mere inches away from Aurora, telling her that she loved her after walking away. Mostly though, she never imagined what it would feel like to have Aurora tell her she loves her too.
"I love you too," Aurora repeated as if she thought Mulan needed to hear it again and maybe she did.
Mulan reached out and took Aurora's hand in her own, smiling. She holds the other woman's hand for seconds, minutes, what seems like hours. She can't stop looking into her eyes, can't stop smiling back at her. If there was anything she could do to make this moment last forever she would. Her focus is broken though, perhaps by the loudness of the pounding of her own heart, perhaps by something else; a feeling. It is a feeling that Mulan can't shake, a feeling that they shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be here, holding Aurora's hand, looking into her eyes, smiling at her; it shouldn't be her.
"I should leave," Mulan speaks up after a few more seconds. It is those precious seconds that she can't help but take. She knows who she is taking them from but she takes them anyway. She wants those seconds, even if she shouldn't want them.
"I still want you to stay. I meant that Mulan. I meant everything I said. Please don't walk away from this, from me."
"I love you Aurora, but you are pregnant with Phillip's child. You are Phillip's betrothed; you are not mine to love. You are about to have a family, I cannot come between you two."
Mulan drops Aurora's hand, as much as her heart is begging her to keep holding onto it. She needs to leave. She decided to leave when Aurora told her the news; she needs to stay her course. This confession, this conversation, this is just a detour. This doesn't change anything. Aurora's news is still the same, and her decision is firm. Robin Hood's merry men are waiting for her and she cannot disappoint them; even if it means disappointing herself.
Mulan turns to walk away again, for the third time now. As she walks away with her back turned she can't see the way Aurora's face contorts; in anger, in sadness, maybe both. Even though she can't see it, it still breaks her heart. She knows she's hurting Aurora as she leaves her. She knows Aurora didn't just tell her she loves her to keep her there for a few more moments. She wants her to stay. She loves her and she wants her to stay. It's everything Mulan wanted, but more than she's ready to handle.
"How many more times do I have to ask you to stay?"
The words are yelled from the other side of the room. They are loud and unwavering. Mulan would be surprised if Phillip didn't hear her. There is anger in her voice, but mostly there is desire, and definitely more than a little desperation. She's never heard Aurora sound so…scared, that is the best way to describe it. She can't bare to watch her walk out that door, she hasn't let her do it yet because she can't stand the thought of missing her. Aurora will keep asking her to stay until she does. She'll keep asking her to do the one thing she really thinks she can't do, the one thing she really shouldn't do.
Mulan turns again, at this rate she should be getting dizzy. She feels like her head is spinning now, and maybe it is. They are going around in circles with each other. Aurora asks the impossible of her and she almost wants to give in, but she can't. The love between them, the mutual feeling of desire that is now out in the open, it doesn't change things. No matter how many times Aurora asks her to stay, there is still Phillip. There is still Phillip and there is still a child, their child.
It is Aurora's next move that leaves Mulan stunned once again. Before she can even answer her last question Aurora's lips are on hers. Mulan can feel herself smiling into the kiss. There is no hesitation as Mulan returns the affection of the other woman. Aurora's lips are soft, they are warm and Mulan never wants to forget how they feel against her own. After they pull out of the kiss, Mulan can't imagine not kissing her again. She can't imagine not having Aurora run into her arms and kiss her like that a million more times. She was shocked at first, but as that wore off it turned into an overwhelming feeling of joy, of love. Mulan feels that for at least the next few moments, everything is going to be okay; even if it won't be.
"You don't have to ask me again."
Aurora smiled at the thought. Any possible consequence of her actions was far from her mind in this moment. In this moment all she wanted to do was remember the moment before. All she wanted right now was to spend every moment with Mulan.
"I would ask you to stay over and over and over again Mulan."
"Because you love me."
"Because I love you with all of my heart."
Mulan couldn't help but smile at this. She would never tire of hearing Aurora tell her that she loves her. She would never tire of saying it either.
"I love you too Aurora."
After a few more quiet moments spent just staring at one another they both realized that they needed to do something more than stand here. They couldn't remain here forever, as much as that idea appealed to Mulan. She hoped to be able to look into Aurora's eyes forever and see the love that she saw now, but right now they needed to do anything other than just stand here. Mostly though, they needed to talk. So much had been said already, but there was so much left to stay.
"Do you want to go somewhere and talk?" Aurora asked. She had spent so much time with Mulan that she could read her like a book. She could tell simply by the look on her face that she wanted to talk.
"Anywhere with you."
It was dark when they returned to the castle. A walk had seemed like the best way to get away and talk. It wouldn't seem odd to Phillip that Aurora wanted to spend some time with Mulan. It was obvious to him, to anyone really that the two had grown close. When Phillip left them they didn't get along well, when he returned to them something, everything really was different. They became inseparable. Bound by their journey he figured.
Walking back up the steps of the castle Mulan asked a question she hadn't yet asked. They had talked about so much, and covered the important details but there was one thing Mulan still wondered.
"When did you know that you love me?" Mulan questioned.
"When did I fall in love with you or when did I realize that I love you?"
"Both, either. I'm just curious."
"I think I fell in love with you when you gave me back my heart. I felt something that I've never felt before, not even with Phillip. I didn't realize it then though, not really. I don't think it really hit me until you said you were leaving. In that moment I knew I couldn't let you walk away and everything was clear to me. I didn't know how I could have been so blind before. I don't know how I didn't see it but in that moment I knew I couldn't lose you."
Mulan started her own story without prompting. "I stole the compass because I love you, that was the moment I knew. It wasn't just me protecting you for Phillip, though I would have done anything to do that. It was more than that. The thought of anything happening to you, the thought of Cora hurting you, I couldn't stand it."
"So you fought for me."
"You are a girl worth fighting for Aurora."
"Well then, I guess I am lucky that a brave warrior like you loves me then," Aurora teased, pressing a quick kiss to the side of her warrior's head.
"You are."
For a few more moments Mulan just stood there, watching Aurora as she smiled at her. As long as they stood there things weren't complicated. They were easy, she loves Aurora and Aurora loves her and it's that simple. With the next words out of Aurora's mouth though, things would change, but hopefully everything would still be okay.
"I have to go tell him now."
"I know."
"I'm glad you stayed."
"I know."
"I love you."
"I know. I love you too."