Hey Everyone ! i'm back ;) i'm married =D

Enjoy !

Chapter 20 :

When he opened his eyes again, his cheek was pressed to Sebastian's shoulder.

Everything went quiet, like someone had turned off a switch and blocked out all sound except for the echo of his own harsh breaths. Feeling returned to his limbs one by one and he became aware of the fact that he had both his arms around Sebastian; one curved around his shoulder, the other pressed to his back.

"What is happening?" he whispered.

Sebastian turned his head, his mouth brushing against the shell of Kurt's ear. "Did you flashback to the accident again?"

"It was more than that this time." Kurt wanted to move away so he could see Sebastian's expression when he said the next few words but the desire to stay pressed close to him was still running through his blood hot and urgent. It took an immense amount of effort to pull free of Sebastian's arms and look him in the eye. "We were fighting."

Sebastian's lips parted as if he was about to say something but all that came out was a shaky breath. "I can't believe this," he said, running a hand through his hair. He looked both angry and sad. "Of all the things, all the things you could have remembered about us – you remember us fighting."

Kurt ignored the flare of irritation that sparked in him at the words - it wasn't like he had any control over what he remembered. With as much patience as he could, he asked "What were we fighting about?"

"What do you know so far?"

Kurt closed his eyes, bright dots of lights forming the image of jagged glass and blurred doorways behind his eyelids. "Something about how I regretted marrying you -" he looked at Sebastian to see how his jaw was clenched tightly. No trace of anger anymore, just plain sadness. The realization came with a small gasp and Kurt was surprised he hadn't made the connection until now. "Oh my god," he breathed. "Was that the last thing I said to you before the accident?"

Sebastian blinked and looked away, turning his face to stare out the windows. "Yes," he said quietly.

No wonder he'd felt such a crushing sense of regret during this flashback. Kurt had thought he was going to die in the accident and that the last thing he would've said to Sebastian would have been how he regretted marrying him.

He imagined getting the call with the news of the accident, imagined how it must have felt to watch your husband lying motionless in a coma not knowing if he was going to wake up or not and then, when he finally did, he imagined how it must have felt to deal with the knowledge that he no longer loved you.

Sebastian's Kurt surfaced in a wave of fierce protectiveness and empathy.

Feeling his pain as strongly as it was his own and refusing to let himself be the cause of it.

"I am so sorry," he found himself saying.

"What the hell are you sorry for?" Sebastian asked, looking back at him. "You don't even know if it was your fault."

"I'm not sorry for the fight," Kurt said. "I'm sorry about everything after it." Sebastian sat down on the bed and sighed, staring at his hands. Kurt watched his slumped posture for a moment before asking, "Was it my fault?"

"It was both of our's." Sebastian said. There was a pause, a huff of breath and then, "The last couple of weeks before the accident weren't exactly the best for us. I don't mean us us but like, for you and me. Work was driving both of us crazy for different reasons and we were just – we were on edge practically all the time. But I think we were also the only ones keeping each other sane. Fighting is kind of our favorite form of stress relief. Well – you know," he turned his head just enough for Kurt to catch the corner of the smile. "Except for sex."

Kurt resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "So that morning -"

"You hadn't slept all night, I was being a dick - things got more heated than usual."

"But I walked out -"

" – to go to work." Sebastian cut in. "Kurt. I don't know how much you remember of that morning but I promise you, both of us felt equally stupid after you left. I knew you would come back. I was going to call in sick and spend the whole day thinking of some romantic way to make it up to you and we were going to be fine. We always are."

Kurt was quiet. On one hand, he wanted to lean over and wrap his arms around Sebastian again, hold him tightly for all the nights he hadn't been able to. On the other hand, he suddenly wanted to be alone again and collect his thoughts – about how he had felt about Sebastian before the accident and how he felt right now after tonight.

"Today's kind of been a long day," he said, hoping it would be enough of a hint for Sebastian.

It was. Sebastian sniffed, rubbed a hand down his face once and nodded. "Yeah. I should let you get to bed."

The truth was that Kurt had been about to settle back with his laptop and browse through pictures again without Sebastian watching his every reaction but he played along and said, "Thanks."

Sebastian made a move to stand up but surprised Kurt by darting in to kiss him on the cheek. Kurt was too taken aback to do anything but stare at him when he pulled back and grinned. "And so ends our date."

Byebye =)

-J