Canada's Fans

Author's note: okay, so there are two OCs here representing some British and French colonies. Tommy is the Turks and Caicos, a group of islands in the Caribbean that remain under British control to this day. In the 1990s, roughly 90% of their population wanted to leave British control and become a province of Canada; I think the current polls put it at 60%. Angel represents St. Pierre and Miquelon, French territories off the east coast of Canada that occasionally talk about joining our Maritimes so they can have access to wider fishing grounds.

Also, I apologise for my bad French. I only took up to grade 10 and I don't use it often, so it's a little rusty.

-line break-

Canada wasn't used to being the centre of attention. That was his brother America. Nor was he used to being hugged by small, excited nations in love; China and Germany held the monopoly there. So it was only natural that hearing his name shouted as he walked towards the meeting room would cause him to freeze in confusion.

"Uncle Mattie!"

A young boy barrelled into Canada, small arms wrapping around the northern nation's waist. Canada staggered, unprepared. Being the second largest nation in the world had its benefits though; it took a lot more than being glomped by a colony to knock him over.

"Eh? Tommy? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you! Sealand showed me how to sneak in."

Canada laughed and ruffled Tommy's hair. He'd always had a soft spot for the small, dark skinned colony. His people did too; Canadians made up the second largest tourist demographic in the Turks and Caicos.

"Does Arthur know you're here?"

"No. He thinks I'm in my room practicing my music. But I really wanted to see you Uncle Mattie. You and Cuba didn't come visit over Christmas like usual." Tommy absentmindedly pulled flowers from a nearby vase and wove them together as he spoke. When he was done he draped the impromptu wreath around his neck. The red flowers mage a nice contrast to his blue and white sailor suit. One of them fell out though and he pouted.

Smiling, Canada retrieved the errant flower and wove it into the colony's black hair. "You shouldn't sneak out on him eh? Next thing you know he'll think you want to fight him like America did."

Tommy shook his head violently. "Nu-uh. I don't wanna go to war with England. He's too big." The British colony grabbed Canada's hand and looked up at the country with shining eyes. "Can I come to the meeting with you? I promise I'll be quiet and do whatever you tell me."

"Alright. But don't get me in trouble with England, eh? I don't want him thinking I'm trying to steal you."

"Yay!" Tommy skipped happily and trotted beside Canada as the country made his way to the meeting. They were late, but nobody noticed them enter because of Canada's aura of invisibility.

Since Canada wasn't scheduled to speak until the afternoon (and nothing got done in those meetings anyways) the northern nation spent the morning playing tic-tac-toe and hangman with Turks and Caicos on a bit of scrap paper. Kumajiro was a little unhappy with this, as it meant the bear had to sit on the floor while Tommy was in Matthew's lap, but he stopped whining when his owner gave him a brand new bottle of maple syrup.

"Listen Kumajumbo, you need to be good. Keep yourself busy with this. If you can figure out how to open it you can have it all to yourself." Needless to say, the little bear was silent as he occupied himself with that worthy mission.

Lunch time came and the nations adjourned to the cafeteria. Matthew and Tommy sat in a corner and had banana splits; part of the reason Tommy loved his uncle so much was that Canada bought him treats. They were joined after a while by Cuba, who for once had no trouble telling the difference between Matthew and Alfred.

Shortly before they had to go back to the meeting they heard a shriek followed by bubbly, French giggling. A small blonde girl in a turquoise dress raced over to their table and slid underneath.

"Mathieu, m'aidez si vous plait!"

"Bonjour Angel. Pourquoi es-tu sous la table?"

Tommy groaned. "Why can't you guys just speak English? It's not lie talking in French will keep Francey-pants from finding her."

As if on cue France appeared. "Mathieu, have you seen ma petite Angel? She 'as done something very naughty." The European nation didn't say what his child had done, but the dark wetness on his shirt and melting ice cubes tangled in his hair gave Canada a good idea.

"Non papa, I haven't seen Angel. Maybe she hid with Feliciano."

France smirked. "Oh Canada, you were never a very good liar. It's so cute how innocent you are." Without warning, France dove under the table and extracted the colony beneath. Angel squirmed in her papa's arms.

"Papa, put me down! Je veux jouer avec Mathieu et Tommy!"

France shook his head. "Ah, non, before you can play you must be punished. Do you know what happens to naughty little girls who dump ice water on their papas?"

"Non! Please don't do it papa! Je suis desolée!"

"They get tickled!" Holding his colony under one arm, France proceeded to tickle her until she was gasping for breath. Canada, Cuba, and Turks and Caicos all laughed. Eventually France took pity on his colony and set her down beside Canada.

"There all done. You can spend time with Mathieu and Tommy now if you wish, so long as there is no more dumping of the ice water, d'accord?"

"Oui papa." Angel hugged France, who then left to torment England. Hopping into Canada's lap, the French colony initiated a duel wherein she tried to pull her uncle's ahoge while he blocked with a spoon. This lasted until all the nations were called back into the meeting room.

First thing after lunch it was Canada's turn to speak, so he left the two colonies on his chair while he made his way to the front of the room. Before the northern nation could begin his speech though, he was interrupted by a loud voice. And for once the interruption didn't come from America.

"England, can I move into Uncle Mattie's house?"

Tommy had jumped up on the table and was staring at England with puppy dog eyes. The former empire was, needless to say, quite unhappy to see his colony in the meeting room. The perpetually creased eyebrows of doom were now so close together they looked like they were about to eat each other.

"And why would you want to do something like that?"

"Uncle Mattie buys me treats and teaches me how to make things!" Tommy said excitedly, bouncing like America on a sugar high. "And since my place is in the same time zone as Ontario and Quebec, it'd be easier for him to look after me, so you wouldn't have to worry about whether I got up on time or was keeping you up late anymore."

England's frown lessened. "Well Tommy, I'd have to think about it, but you might want to ask Canada first."

"I have! I asked in 1980, but he was too busy to answer my letter. But before that he asked twice if I could stay with him, once in 1974 and once in 1917, remember?"

Flushing, England looked at his hands. He never liked admitting to the times he'd forgotten about Canada. "Er, yes, well, there are things that would need to be discussed first and it could take a bit to work out, but maybe someday."

Tommy sat down, apparently satisfied with this answer. After all, he wouldn't be the first colony to leave England for Canada. It would be fun to see Newfoundland and Labrador again. He hoped England would let him go.

Of course, the outburst from the Turks and Caicos encouraged another small colony to speak up. Angel scrambled up on the table Tommy had just vacated, nearly tripping over the hem of her dress. Clutching her rosary, the representation of St. Pierre and Miquelon tried the puppy eyes on France.

"Papa, may I also move in with Canada? I like to go fishing with Newfoundland and Labrador, and I would like to go to university in Quebec if I ever grow up enough."

France stared at his little girl in shock. "You wish to leave your papa? Oh ma cheri, what did I do wrong? I am sorry, just please do not leave me. Not to become part of l'Angleterre's vile Commonwealth!"

Both Canada and Seychelles frowned. "Papa," they said in unison, "We're part of England's Commonwealth!" To which France responded by bursting into tears. Those who could speak French heard snippets of whining about how England kept coming along and stealing his children. Angel, upset by this, immediately began to apologise.

"I don't have to move in with Canada; I can stay with you papa. I just thought Mathieu is closer to me and has better fishing places than I do, it made sense… I'll stay with you papa, I'm sorry!" She ran across the table and flung herself into France's lap, drying the nation's tears with the hem of her dress.

By now even Canada had forgotten that he was supposed to be giving a speech. Several nations were looking around for evidence of any other colonies or micro-nations who might suddenly announce a desire to join the northern nation. Russia, who knew from a song he'd heard that Canada had designs to become the world's largest nation, was looking slightly nervous.

"How about you Bruder?" Germany asked, turning to Prussia. "Do you have a sudden desire to become Canadian?" Secretly, the blond nation hoped he did. Prussia had done little more than freeload and make a mess of Germany's house for several decades.

"Kesesesese, that's right, I probably should move in with Canada since the awesome me is one of his towns now." Prussia grinned at the shocked (and irritated) look on Germany's face before turning to Canada. "Oi Birdie, you don't mind having the awesome me for a roommate, do you?"

Canada went bright red. "Maple…" He knew about Prussia's freeloading habits and hoped the ex-nation would change if he really did move in. Sometimes Matthew wasn't sure what had possessed him to give Gilbert that bit of land. He'd always known it would come back to bite him eventually.

Spain and Romano were starting to take bets on who would decide to move north next. Norway bet on Hans Island, who wasn't always happy about living with Denmark (who would be?). Cuba's guess was Barbados, who'd toyed with the thought of joining Canada on and off since 1884. Another popular choice was Bermuda, whose Methodist churches were already part of the United Church of Canada.

America started to laugh. "Come on guys, why would they want to join Canada when they could become my 51st state? I'm much more awesome and my states know how to party, unlike Ontario and Quebec. Mattie's provinces just fight all the time."

Then America's cell phone went off. Unlike during normal meetings, he wasn't shouted at when he answered it. "Y'ello, United States of Awesome speaking." No one could hear what was said on the other end, but it must have been quite something as America was reduced to speechlessness, only able to interject small noises such as "er," "wha.." and "meh!" His face grew gradually paler over the course of the call until whoever was on the other end hung up.

The super power dropped his phone. White as a sheet, he seemed to have shrunk to half his normal size. Huge blue eyes watered as he stared up at his brother.

"Mattie! Don't do it, please! I promise to stop forgetting you, and calling you my hat, and dragging you into my fights. I'll even stop spying on you and Russia when you play hockey. Just please, don't take them away!"

Everyone paused in their betting to stare at America. Canada frowned, his ahoge bobbing in confusion. "What're you talking about eh? I wasn't going to take anything of yours."

By now America was in tears. "B-but I just got a call from V-Vermont and M-Maine! They said they were thinking of joining you, a-and they were gonna bring Elm Point and Northwest Angle with them. Please don't take my states!"

England snickered. "It would serve you right you git. Canada's a much better parent to his provinces and towns than a burger muncher like you, barring that trouble with Ontario and Quebec."

"Honhonhon, that was your fault anyway Angleterre."

"Shut up Frog!"

Canada went over to his brother and gathered the weeping nation into a hug. "Al, I would never steal any of your states or towns. I'm not going around asking people to join me… well, except Gilbert, but he was a special case. I couldn't let him die."

America sniffled. "But why would they want to leave me? I'm the hero."

"Well, Elm Point and Northwest Angle have to drive through me to get to the rest of you, so I can see where they might find it easier, but I swear I never encouraged them. As for the others… I have no idea." Canada wiped tears off his brother's face. "I promise, I never said a word to any of your states about joining me… um, at least, not since the War of 1812."

"I believe you bro." America was no longer crying, though his eyes were still red. "B-but if they do leave me, you be good to them, alright? All my towns and states deserve a good home, with plenty of hamburgers and-"

"I know Al. And you know I'd never do anything to hurt them." The North American twins cuddled silently for a few minutes, much to the delight of many other nations. Hungary and Japan took pictures while England and France cooed over how cute their sons were. Eventually a squirming Italy added himself to the group hug, which caused it to break up with a burst of laughter. The Mediterranean nation pouted when the brothers stood up and Germany pulled him away.

"Ve~ But they were so cute Doitsu. Don't you like to hug cute things?" Of course, there was only one correct answer, which was for Germany to bend down, red faced, and hug Italy. This was done to a chorus of "D'awww!"

The meeting finally got back on track, though as usual nothing got done. When the nations left, Canada found himself with a colony on each arm as Turks and Caicos and St. Pierre and Miquelon demanded to be taken to a movie. The northern nation glanced at England and France who both nodded permission.

On their way out, the three paused in the shadow of a creepy aura. "Canada, you and the children will become one with Russia, da?" There was more of a threat in Russia's voice than usual.

If he had been alone, Canada would have mumbled an excuse and used his invisibility to get away. He didn't like confrontation (except during hockey), even if he was one of the strongest nations out there. But with two colonies cowering at his sides the peaceful northerner became a mother bear. He smiled a smile that featured frequently in both America's and Germany's nightmares and pulled a lighter from his pocket to play with.

Click. Click. Click.

"No Russia, we already have plans. I'd hate to disappoint the little ones. But if you're that lonely, you can always come over later and become one with Canada, oui?"

Russia, mesmerised by the lighter's flame, shook his head and left. As soon as he was gone Canada put the lighter away and resumed his normal smile. "Hehe, sorry about that. So, how about we go see the latest Percy Jackson movie, eh?"

"Oui! Merci Mathieu!"

"Yay! Thanks Uncle Mattie!"