So I'm all like "I'm going to plan out an organized rotation between two stories and a series of oneshots," but my brain is like "WHAT DAT? YOU WANT A WRITER BLOCK ON THE CLOWN THING?! HOW BOUT WE PLAN OUT THAT WHOLE MICHAEL THING!"

So until I figure out this block, I'm going to write this and the Franklin one. Also, I might write a parody of a certain mission in the game revolving around Michael and Trevor's backstory

Don't own GTA V

Michael slept through the ringing alarm. He slept through the ringing phone. He even managed to stay asleep when the shades were pulled up.

"Come on, Pa! Mom and Trace have already left for the salon! We got work to do!"

This left Jimmy with only one other option.

"If you won't get out of bed on your own, I'll get your old ass out myself!"

Jimmy wrap an arm around his father's waist and pulled him out of the bed. Michael yelped as he was jolted awake by the corresponding grapple.

"Jimbo! Shit! Alright, alright! I'm up!" Michael said as he wiggled himself out of Jimmy's hold. His son let go of him, dropping him to the ground. "Sheesh! Why's you have to do that? Now I'm thinking about how small you used to be!"

"Well, I figured that nothing would wake you up faster than a reminder of your own pending mortality." Jimmy said jokingly. "Now, come on. I put some bacon on before I woke you up. We got a big meeting today. Gotta eat up."

Michael smiled to himself as he began to change. The house that he and his family lived in was small but comfortable. They could potentially get a bigger house, as they actually did have a bit of money. However, the Townleys were happy to be living simply off of the grid.

Jimmy hung up his phone. "That was Chef. Said the Chinese guy was at the lab."

"Well, I suppose we're just gonna be fashionably late." Michael said, as they drove toward the lab in a dirty, navy blue pick-up truck.

The truck stopped in front of the building. Michael reached into the back of the truck and grabbed a handgun. His son looked at him.

"Just a precaution." He assured him.

"Right."

Michael opened the door to the building.

"Family Meth co. welcomes you to Blaine County!"

"Well, shit."

"Shit indeed."

The brief meeting had just concluded. The triads were willing to buy meth off of FamMeth Co. However, they wanted to make sure they had a local monopoly. That meant that the O'Neills would have to go.

"I don't necessarily feel bad about having to take them all out," Michael said, "but we are going to have to think this through."

"Yeah," Jimmy said. "Don't want to just barge into the barn. That would be suicide. But you're good with plans. That's your thing, Pa!"

"Right." Michael said. He was quiet for about a minute, before snapping his fingers. "It's simple!"

"What?"

"We need an army. And luckily, we happen to know an army that's addicted to our product.

"What do you want, Townley?"

"Johnny! What's with the harsh treatment?" Michael asked as the he approached the leader of the Lost MC. A couple of the other members of the gang began to stand up behind Johnny, glaring at the meth dealer. "I'm always hospitable when you come calling."

"I asked you a question!" Johnny growled.

"Look, I'll cut the shit: You and your gang own me a lot of money. I'm not a bar, Johnny. I'm a drug dealer. We don't do tabs. We're here to collect."

"What, you gonna beat the money out of us with a kid that's not old enough to drink?"

"No, no. I was thinking about...a bit of a favor."

The O'Neills didn't see it coming.

The entire family was on the compound. Michael made sure of it.

The Lost were told to destroy the lab and kill all the O'Neils. They went in armed to the teeth, using a canister of gasoline to blow up the lab. Bikers drove around the perimeter to make sure there were not any stragglers.

Michael was personally glad that they destroyed the house. He didn't want to see any more bodies than he needed.

Johnny and Clay, his right hand man, approached Michael after the raid.

"So are we good?" Johnny said.

"We are golden, Ponyboy." Michael replied. "Also, you should be interested to know that I'm looking to expand my business, and could use a few good men. You guys interested?"

Johnny tried to act uninterested, but there was a shine in his eyes. "I'll think about it."

"Tell you what, Johnny; I'll give it a month, then I'll get back to The Lost with a more solid deal. Alright?"

"...Fine." Johnny said. He got on his bike and drove away.

Clay, however, stayed behind.

"You remember what I said, right?"

"Yes, I do. But it doesn't matter to me how stable of a leader you think Johnny is-"

"The guy is an addict! Addicted to YOUR product!"

"Look. I don't want to get in the middle of this internal conflict. I can't make you any promises based off of this baseless talk. I said I would make a deal with the Lost in a month. If you're going to do something, do it before then. Otherwise, I make the deal with Johnny. Got it?" Michael said.

"...Sure." Clay replied. He silently got on his bike, and drove off, following Johnny.

"Alright, Jim, deal's gone through. We had a good day today. Now I want you to take Cheng here on a night on the town. You've earned it. Besides, I don't want him getting himself killed out here."

"You got it, Pa." Jimmy said, getting out of the blue truck. Cheng was in his car, struggling with the child lock on a bottle of pills.

Michael looked at his son. "Good. You OK?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"...No reason. Have a good night Jim."

Michael lied in bed next to Amanda. They had both retired for the night to go to bed. Micheal, however, was having a bit of trouble sleeping.

"Manda?"

"Huh?" she replied.

"Am I a bad father?"

"Probably."

"That's not reassuring."

"Well, what do you want me to say? Michael, we can't offer our children that many things. Jimmy doesn't have a lot of opportunities, just like you didn't. The best thing you could do for him is show him how to break the law the right way."

"The best thing I could have done for him was send him to a school in Los Santos and-"

"And what? Have him get arrested for some stupid crime, and get stuck in the city with nowhere else to go? We're lucky we opened the salon. Tracy doesn't have to follow me."

"You bet your ass she won't."

"Look, we have to do the best we can. You're not doing heists after Yankton. We managed to get out of there without any trouble. We had to stay low."

"You're right…" Michael thought to himself. "But you know, sometimes I miss it. I was the idea guy. I still am. One day I might get back in the game. Maybe when Tracy is able to support herself on the salon. Take Jimmy under my wing. Show him the ropes."

"If you wanted to show Jimmy the business, you realize you would have to start small."

"We could work our way up, and eventually buy ourselves a bigass house in Los Santos!"

"And I'd fuck a trainer!" Amanda said jokingly.

The two of them laughed.

"If there was one positive thing about Yankton," Amanda said, "it was the death of Trevor Phillips."

"He was my friend."

"But he was dangerous."

"Yeah, he was...but you know, friends like these and stuff."

"Goodnight, Michael."

"Goodnight, Amanda. Love You."

"Love you, too."

Alright, So if you didn't get it, Michael is a drug kingpin who is happily married, Tracy and Amanda work at a salon, and Jimmy is the son Michael always wanted. Things are ok with the Townleys.

So here is how i think the plot would go down in this AU: Simeon pisses off Trevor with his scheme. He promptly kills him, and takes Lamar and Franklin under his wing. Together, they get in contact with Lester and begin performing heists. Michael realizes that it's Trevor doing the heists after seeing a TV interview (guy says one of the robbers was absolutely insane). He tries to ignore it, but Lester gets in contact with Michael, hoping he could guilt Trevor into being a little less hectic.

The plot would roll from there, but I think the interesting thing about this AU is that the interactions between Michael and Trevor would revolve around Trevor feeling guilt about selling out Mike. Trevor never really feels guilt, or that he owns people. So yeah. There is no way I'm writing this.

Keep an eye out for Franklin's oneshot. I'll tell you now, it...it's a musical.

Fun Fact: did you know Michael Townley is an real living assassin living under U.S. witness protection?