Coming 'round the corner from the cafeteria, Castiel stopped dead in his tracks when he was confronted by the second most unexpected scene that he could have ever possibly prepared for.

In fact, he might have been better prepared to see his dead mother's ghost than his brother. Alright, he'd sorta expected to see a brother, just not this brother...maybe he should've given the older man more credit though.

Despite that he still figured that he was allowed to be shocked into a standstill when he saw Michael leaning back on his elbows against the long counter of the nurse's station with another man Cas didn't know by his side; the pair of them relaxing with sunglasses hooked in their collars like they had been stopping by while running errands on a day off. Cas couldn't remember the last time that he had seen Michael in anything other than a three piece suit and even then it was rare for the older man to even take off his jacket or roll up his shirt sleeves after a long day's work.

But now here Michael was, missing the trademarked sheen to his hair that came from the ridiculously expensive pomade that he used and sporting a 5 o'clock shadow even though it was just past nine on a Wednesday morning. Cas was pretty sure that the world had to be ending. But his brother was smiling…so maybe Michael's office had just burned down or something to cause him to finally take a day off.

"Castiel!" Michael called, finally noticing the younger man who had paused just as the hallway that led from the cafeteria turned towards the nurses' station.

Cas managed a sort of smile even as he was gnawing on the inside of his cheek and tugging self-consciously on the 'Gnocchi Dokie' shirt that Kali had gotten all of the Shurley boys one pun-erific Chirstmas years ago (he still maintained that Anna's 'See You Ladle' shirt was better); he hadn't felt dorky in it until just now. Not even when Dean was hugging at him and touching him and looking at him like he'd hung the moon, the stars, and all the planets in between.

"Well, don't be shy, Cassie, c'mon," Michael encouraged, waving him forward with one hand and nudging the stranger at his side with the elbow of his other arm.

He managed to shuffle forward to where his brother was beckoning him, giving himself more than enough time to take in the drastic changes in his brother's appearance. Michael was wearing the most casual outfit the Cas had seen his brother in since the other man had still been in high school- a wrinkled white t-shirt with a crackled Avenue Q logo right over the heart, a pair of cargo shorts (paint splattered from the last time the Shurley brothers had helped with painting around their parents' house), and worn brown Sperry's.

There was also a strange bruise peaking out at the collar of his shirt which Castiel thought was weird since Michael was the vitamin popping, health nut. It looked vaguely like the hickeys that Cas had seen speckled up and down the column of Balthazar's throat more times than he could count, which...made sense? Maybe? It would explain his brother's cavalier demeanor and the sudden reappearance of Michael's wide smile that had been a rare sight at Shurley family gatherings for the last five years or so. Maybe Mike was finally getting laid, good for him.

Castiel fully expected his brother to stick out a hand for a brisk handshake, the stiff formal greeting having become their 'normal' since his older brother had been made a partner at the investment firm he worked at, so it was an understatement to say that he was caught off guard when instead he was pulled into a tight hug.

He couldn't remember the last time that Michael had hugged him...probably not since their mom had died.

A sudden wave of emotion swept through him and before he could stop it Cas was crying. Big, ugly, uncontrollable sobs just like the ones that he used to have when he'd run to his brothers when he was getting picked on by the guys on practically every team who thought he was a band geek and a queer.

"Cas? What the-Cas!" A concerned voice sounded behind him followed by a set of hurried footsteps headed in the direction of the nurses' station.

Well, maybe those guys had been onto something.

"It's okay, Dean," Cas mumbled, pulling away from his brother so that he could shove his glasses up into his hair and wipe the back of his hand over his eyes. Michael kept a hand on his shoulder though and out of his periphery Castiel could see Dean was close by, fidgeting with the cuffs of his Henley and almost vibrating with worry. "This my brother, Michael. Mike this is Dean. He's my um...he's here too."

"Oh," Michael said, clearly at a loss for words because he just helplessly watched Castiel clean his classes with the bottom of his shirt for a moment before finally releasing his shoulder and sticking the same hand out in Dean's direction. "It's good to meet you, Dean."

"Likewise," Dean mumbled, licking his lips nervously at about the same time that Cas slipped his glasses back on. He watched his brother and his...Dean shake hands quickly and felt his lips quirk when Dean jutted his chin in the direction of Michael's companion. "This another one of your brothers, Cas? I thought you said your family wasn't one of those 19 Kids and Counting ones?"

"Unfortunately, I did not have the pleasure to be adopted into the wonderful Shurley brood. But that would just be weird anyway right?" the stranger explained, winking in Michael's direction before continuing to address Dean as he offered out a hand of his own to shake as well. "Yea, I'm right. I'm Luke, Dean. Nice to meet you."

"So you're like...a close cousin then?" Dean asked, smirking at his joke when it managed to make Cas huff out a fond laugh. "Dentist with a vested interest in Cas's periodontal health?"

"Oooh," Luke said, pressing his hand to his chest once Dean had let go and raising an eyebrow in both Castiel's and Michael's direction. "I like him! I hope you stick around, Dean. You can help me liven up these two workaholics."

"That's the plan," Dean muttered, blushing suddenly and ducking his head shyly as he spoke. "Anyway...uh, since Cas is okay...I like heard him like...crying. I'll go and let you have your get together."

Cas watched as Dean nodded decisively to himself and started to turn away, not even looking in his direction as the other man rubbed a hand over the back of his neck self-consciously. And no. That wouldn't do.

"Hey," Cas said quickly, taking a few hurried steps to catch up with with the other man so that he could grab the hand that was swinging loosely at Dean's side. "Just...where are you going right now?"

"I dunno," Dean said with a shrug, glancing behind Cas before he stepped in close and cradled the hand that had reached out to stop him with both of his own. Charcoal stained fingers traced tenderly over his knuckles and veins and in this exact moment Cas couldn't give two fucks about what his brother would assume about his relationship with Dean. "There's no group so I'll probably just go hang in my room or find Charlie so I can tell her all about this great guy I like."

"I sure she'd love that," Castiel replied sarcastically, grinning in that stupid way that even he knew he usually only did when he was thinking about Meg in minimal clothing. "But I'll...uh, I'll come find you when I'm done here, 'kay?"

"If I don't find you first," Dean countered, giving Cas's hand one last squeeze before he let go and started walking backwards away from him for a few steps before he spun quickly began ambling vaguely back towards the cafeteria.

Cas hoped that he wasn't blushing too hard when he turned back around, but he felt like there was probably no hiding the way his heart was beating exposed and fast out on his sleeve. And by the looks that Michael and Luke were giving him he was pretty sure that his crush or mutual like-like-like was painfully obviously.

Luke was standing practically right on top his brother, his chin propped up on Mike's shoulder and his arm draped along the counter behind the other man's back. They both had twin looks of amusement on their faces, almost like they had just finished watching a YouTube video of adorable puppies frolicking around together; that 'awww' look that was unmistakable because it was so universal.

He decided that bravado was probably his best way to go at this point, followed quickly by 'denydenydeny' if he had to go there, but it made bile threaten to rise up in Cas's throat when he thought of telling his brother that Dean meant nothing to him. Just thinking of declaring that Dean was his...whatever, though that made his palms start sweating and his breath come short and fast.

It felt like there was no winning.

"He's a cutie," Luke declared as he straightened from his heavy lean on Michael's shoulder; stretching his arms out in front of him in a way that made the faded 'Rent' t-shirt that he was wearing stretch tight around his biceps. "Great ass too."

The affronted "Hey!" sounded in unison from both Shurley boys and the lighting fast way their heads whipped towards each other afterward could have given any prime time sitcom a run for their money. The confused, frowny-squint they were wearing was something that Cas and Mike both tended to do as well, a trait they no doubt picked up from their father.

"Aww, don't get jealous," Luke's voice sounded again, drawing Michael's searching gaze off of where Castiel could feel it searing into his beet red face. "You know there are other asses I prefer better."

Michael simply rolled his eyes at Luke's waggling eyebrows in that fondly irritated way that Cas usually only saw his eldest brother do when he was around Gabe before cocking his head towards a black garment bag that was hanging off of the back of the closet behind the nurses' station.

"Anna asked me to bring you that, she said it was for a girl in here who needed to borrow some clothes?"

"Great," Cas breathed, grateful that the topic of he and Dean and all of the weird, unresolved tension floating in the air between them seemed to have been dismissed. It wasn't really something he felt like he knew enough about himself to even talk about yet. "My friend, Charlie has an interview later this week and needs something nice to wear."

"She doesn't have a family to bring her something?" Michael asked incredulously, folding his arms across his chest and right then it was like the older man was still dressed in his two thousand dollar three-piece suit.

Castiel rubbed a nervous hand over his jaw, fighting his initial impulse to just kowtow to his brother's imperious demeanor and blurt out every single encounter he had had with every single person in LICH since Sunday. But that would mean betraying not only Charlie's confidences, but Dean's and Becky's and even weird, slimy Crowley's as well. He didn't know when he'd started considering the people on the unit his people but damnit, now that he did Cas felt like he couldn't just turn it off.

"It um...not my story to tell," Cas explained even though he knew that his brother would find the explanation lame. He added a shrug on for good measure because...seriously there was nothing else he could say. "But thanks for dropping it off, Charlie will really appreciate it."

He didn't miss the frown that his response garnered from his brother and Castiel prepared himself for the lecture that he could almost tangibly feel coming on.

But then something made the tense set of his brother's shoulders relax and the older man simply let out a sigh before dropping his arms defeatedly down to his sides.

"Yea, it wasn't a problem, Cassie," Michael said in a strange, soft voice than Cas had last heard during the more emotional moments of their family grief counseling sessions and even then it had been tightly controlled like every other aspect of the eldest Shurley child, but this...wasn't.

"I mean...shit, I didn't come here for just that. I wanted to check on you too. You are in the hospital, Castiel."

"I'm kinda aware of that, Mike," Cas replied, gesturing to the other patients who were milling around the hallways and Jo was was sliding behind the nurses' station with a thick looking chart in her hand. "Did you think I was going to forget?"

"Well, no…" Michael said carefully before clearing his throat propping a hand up on his hip. "But you just...did all of this without thinking of the consequences. What about school? Did you even contact your teachers to let them know you were taking a medical leave of absence? Do you even know if you're going to be discharged in enough time to take the GRE? I know your health is important, Cassie, but what about the rest of your life?"

Castiel felt the panic attack coming as soon and his brother's voice slipped back into that brisk, business-like tone that he was more accustomed to. His chest tightened painfully and it felt like his vision narrowed to a dark tunnel where the only thing he could see was the disappointment etched deeply on to Michael's face. Breathing wasn't a thing that was happening for him right now, but a cold sweat making all of his clothes suddenly feel uncomfortably tight and restricting definitely was.

These were all of the questions he had resolutely been trying to think about as little as possible, choosing to worry about mystery drawings and his feelings and Dean and just fucking functioning like a person instead. But Mike was right, he couldn't ignore everything either.

Still didn't mean he was ready to deal with it though.

"Whoa, dad," Luke's voice said concernedly as the other man stepped forward to place himself between the two Shurley brothers. "Maybe calm down on the whole Spanish Inquisition shit. That's not stuff he needs to be worrying about right now."

"Well someone has to wo-" Michael began, cutting off when Castiel lunged forward to brace himself against the counter of the nurses' station; pushing both of the other men out of his way so that he could press his face against the cool linoleum. "Fuck."

"Yea, fuck's right, Mr. Fuckface," Luke's disembodied voice agreed. "Maybe go take a walk for a minute. Get the kid a water or something."

"Shit, Luke," Mike's voice protest softly. Cas could just make it out over the pounding of his pulse in his ears. "I didn't mean to-"

"I know," the other man interrupted, his voice sounding kinder now, but still sorta annoyed in a doting kind of way. "You were just doing that thing you do, now go get your brother some water."

Cas assumed that Mike walked away even though he didn't hear his brother's footsteps, but he did hear Luke quietly confirming to Jo that they were okay. Hadn't the man said he was in HR or something or maybe Anna had mentioned it? Either way Cas hoped that Luke was at least better with communicating with his brother was.

"Sorry about him," Luke muttered, tapping his fingers agitatedly on the counter next to where Castiel's head was resting; it made it his forehead buzz slightly from the vibration. "Mike's just...well, y'know how he can be. Don't you?"

Bossy. Demanding. Tyrannical.

While those were all words that Cas could easily use to describe his brother, he was also pretty sure he had once seen those same adjectives grouped together to described Hitler as well and as much as a pain Michael could be, the younger man knew that it wouldn't be a fair comparison.

"Do you need a hug or something?" Luke asked uncertainly, his nervous hand leaving to pat cautiously at Castiel's shoulder. "I know we just met, like for real and all, but I could give you a hug if that would help."

Cas let out a sigh, relishing in the fact that his lungs expanded enough to allow him to do it in the first place (better late than never), and shook his head against the nurses' station. He still felt sweaty and jumpy and full of too much adrenaline, but at least he could breathe and holy fuck he was never going to take breathing for granted ever again.

"Okay then," the other man replied a little aimlessly, the soft huff he let out a few seconds later sounding out of place enough that it caused Castiel to straighten up from where he had huddled himself up against the counter. "Y'know Mikey's mother-hen schtick gets to me sometimes too, but I've figured out that the more stormy his eyebrows get when he's being particularly bombastic the more the cares about the person he's filibustering at."

"His...eyebrows?" Cas asked feeling dumb and sluggish in the face of Luke's rapid fire repartee.

"Yea," the other man said, flailing excitedly like a third grade get ready for show-and-tell. "Okay, example time. When we were at the big work hooha the other night, missed you bunches by the way, you family talked about you all night. Anyway, I saw your brother lecturing the boy your sister was going away with for spring break and his eyebrows were full of this like...sexy, protective, righteous fury. Not his eyes, just the eyebrows. And his nose does this nostril flaring thing when he's really passionate about something, but he denies it every time I point it out"

That was a lot of information packed into maybe two breaths and under normal circumstances Cas would probably be impressed; if he had the kind of energy that Luke had then Castiel might have finished all his coursework for the semester ages ago instead of getting panic attacks over half-researched papers and unfished internship applications. But this was not normal circumstances, so of course Cas picked up on the one thing that would normally soar straight over his head.

"Sexy eyebrows?" He repeated questioningly, not missing the way that Luke seemed to freeze in place for a solid second or two before the other man gasped exaggeratedly and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Oops," Luke said, his eyes wide and almost-innocent.

"What does that mean?" Castiel asked frowning in uncertainty as he spoke. He felt like he already almost knew the answer to his question, it was like working on a puzzle that was all sky and the edges were already finished. "Oops, what? Do you like...like my brother or something?"

"Um….something?" The other man replied, his voice sounding tight and high pitched as he took a small step away from Cas.

"Something like what?" He asked again, feeling his breath catch with hope and his eyes burn with frustration at himself for even thinking the crazy, whack-a-doo thoughts he was thinking right now. "You're like a flirty friend with a crush? Or a ladder-climbing, brown noser trying to appeal to the boss's favorite cause by being extra obvious?"

Cas hoped like hell it was neither one of those, but the words weren't coming out right. If the way that Luke was gaping at him was anything to go by, well then Cas figured he probably sounded more accusatory than an anything else. But god, what if Michael was more than just an ally? What if he-

"So one I got of the nurse's to give me a bottle of water out of the staff fridge," Michael said as he walked quickly in Luke and Castiel's direction, frowning distractedly at the label on the bottle that he was holding. "It was pretty much either this or tap and I don't trust the pipes in this place not to be full of lead."

His older brother chose the next moment to look up, a frown turning the corners of his mouth down when he took in the tense postures of his younger brother and his...that's what Cas didn't know. But holy virgin, he really wanted to know.

"What did I miss?" Mike asked slowly, taking the last cautious steps needed to put himself in the space between Castiel and Luke who was casting an apologetic look in the older man's direction.

"I really didn't say anything this time, promise," Luke said cryptically before straightening up and holding one of his hands up near his head with three fingers raised. "Scout's honor."

"You weren't a fucking Scout," Michael muttered as he rolled his eyes at Luke before moving forward to put a hand on Castiel's shoulder again; only this time it was shaking slightly, a fact that Cas definitely didn't miss as he stared at his brother like he was seeing him for the first time. "Listen, Cassie. I wanted to tell the family all at once-"

"Yea, 'cause it's daunting enough to make a guy do this more than that, y'know?" Luke piped from behind Michael's shoulder before quickly raising his hands in defeat when the older Shurley shot a pointed glance at him.

"Anyway, we wanted to tell you all at once, but..." his brother continued, pausing to squeeze Cas's shoulder tight for a moment before letting out a sigh and carrying on. "Circumstances being what they are, you're getting one on one introductions."

"We already met," Cas said, jutting his chin at Luke who gave a little wave with his fingers when Michael glanced back at him in confusion. "On the phone. The other night."

"Not like met-met," Luke interjected quickly when Michael's shoulders tensed as he turned back to Castiel; the other man hurriedly stepped in close to the elder Shurley's back and pitched his voice low as he continued. "I knew how important it was that you tell your baby brother yourself. So when he told me who he was I just...deflected, y'know? I promise, Mikey."

Michael nodded tightly, blinking hard when Castiel unwaveringly met his brother's eyes with his own that were pleading for the explanation that he hoped was coming.

"Alright...alright," Michael started dazedly, clearing his throat briskly when his voice came out tight and rough. "Now I know that I've never brought someone home, but you know how much I work so it's not like I have all the time in the world to meet people and everything with Mom...well, I had other things to worry about besides dating."

Cas held his breath and just nodded when his brother paused, not wanting to interrupt for fear that whatever was about to be said, wouldn't and then he would be left questioning his sanity for more than just the obvious reasons.

"But anyway," Michael said, his free hand reaching up towards his throat presumably to straighten a tie that wasn't there, before he frowned at himself and dropped it to hang uselessly by his side. "Castiel...Cassie, I guess you already met him-"

"Only almost," Luke muttered under his breath, grinning triumphantly when his words caused Michael to huff out a breath of laughter and shake his head in that fond way again.

"Christ, Lucy," Michael said throwing his arms up into the air as he removed himself from where he had stood between Luke and his younger brother. "Just introduce your damn self."

"Finally!" Luke exclaimed, stepping in close and snatching up one of Cas's hand which he started pumping enthusiastically. "I"m Luciano Stefano Pellegrino III, pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Castiel Shurley," he replied dazedly, his whole body moving with the force of Luke's handshake. "So, you're...b-boyfriends then?"

"I prefer paramours," Luke replied with a wink at Cas when Michael groaned as the designation and pinched the bridge of his nose like he had a headache. "It sounds much less like teen fiction and more like a saucy romance novel."

Despite the disjointed chaos that was his mind trying to fit this new information about his brother into everything he already knew, the younger man managed to smile at Luke's cavalier attitude. The other man was everything that Cas had always hoped he could be in junior high, back when people still thought he was funny and the anxiety hadn't been so crushingly overwhelming.

Cas also knew that back then he hadn't put his foot in his mouth quite so fucking much either. "Listen, Luke. I...um, I didn't mean to accuse you of like…"

"Fucking your brother for a promotion?" Luke finished bluntly and Cas knew that the other man was not missing the blush that lit up his face by the way that Luke arched his eyebrow and thinned his lips to suppress a smile. "No offense taken, but I think the whole overprotective thing might be a family trait. You should have heard the shovel talk your tiny dancer gave, mouth like a sailor on that one."

"Anna?" Michael asked, a bemused look settling on his face when Luke nodded and stepped in close to his side. "I wish I could say I'm surprised. But, Cassie, you're okay with this right?"

Castiel blew out a heavy breath as he nodded his head because what else could he be about all of this besides okay? It'd be pretty damn hypocritical to not be.

So he said the one thing that was really crowding out every other semi-coherent thought in his brain.

"I didn't even...know," Castiel said lamely, causing Michael and Luke ot both chuckle and share a smug grin with each other.

"That's kinda the point of the whole big reveal, Castiel," Michael said as he leaned heavily into Luke's side, smiling widely before his expression flickered with confusion as he watched his younger brother's mouth moving wordlessly and his hands fluttering aimlessly like they could pick what he was trying to say out of the air.

"No," Cas finally managed, his eye flitting around the ward until they landed on Crowley who was watching the conversation that he was having with Michael and Luke with rapt attention.

He grimaced when the other patient brought his closed fist up near his face and mimed a blow job before pointing enthusiastically at Michael. Or maybe he was pointing at Luke, hell it could've really been both of them.

Thankfully his older brother must have seen something on Cas's face because Michael's expression of confusion grew even stormier and he took a step towards the younger man, dropping his voice to a hushed, urgent tone. "You mean...you didn't know? But...how? I mean...I didn't exactly keep it a secret, Cassie."

"But you never said," he argued feebly, his mind supplying example after example even as he said the words of why he should've known about this part of his brother all along.

The gay/straight alliance he founded at their high school, his annual participation in the New York Gay Pride parade, the few friends he had brought home during his college years who Cas had at the time been pretty sure were drag queens and had given him his first confusing dreams, the older man's obsession with British soccer players than had seemingly come out of nowhere when Mike was in junior high, the endless fundraising he did both personally and professionally for pro-gay legislation and politicians.

"I came out to the family when I was in the sixth grade, Cassie," Michael said, his voice taking on a frustrated edge as he spoke. "I took a guy to my senior prom!"

"I thought that was just your friend," Cas replied helplessly, feeling like a stupid asshole for so many reasons; this kinda explained why he only had one friend who hadn't ditched him. "And I had to have been like six when you came out. How could I possibly be expected to remember something like that?"

"I don't know, Castiel," the older man said, pinching his nose again as the other hand came up to rub at his temple. "I just...thought it was obvious, but I guess not. I didn't mean to heap all this on you while you were having a breakd-sick. While you're sick, I should've waited until you were home."

"No!" Cas exclaimed, reaching out for his brother's arm with one hand and touching it lightly. "I'm happy you told me and I'm happy that you're happy. You are happy, right? He makes you happy?"

"Yea," Mike said in reply, his mouth twitching up in a smile as he glanced at Luke who was staring at his shoes a little too nonchalantly to not actually be eavesdropping. "I'm really happy, but I want you to be happy too, little brother. So what can I do to help?"

"I think this one's something I have to tackle on my own," Cas said softly, holding up his hand when his older brother looked like he was about to protest. "Really, Mike. Everything going on in my head...it's not something you or Gabe can protect me from."

"It's not about protecting you, Cassie," his brother offered. "Just let me make it so you aren't having panic attacks over schoolwork and tests when you should be spending your time in here focusing on what the real issue is."

"But what if all of that is the real issue?"

"It's not, Castiel," Michael said decisively, placing both hands on the younger man's shoulder and giving them a firm squeeze. "It's bullshit and it's not important."

Cas gaped at his older brother, he'd probably heard Mike curse more today than he had in their entire lives. He felt like he was finally seeing the other man, really seeing his brother for the very first time.

"I haven't filled out the application for your firm's internship yet," Castiel blurted, biting his lip as he waited for his brother to sigh in disappointment after all; everything else could be excused he was sure, but not this. Michael would take this personally.

The older man bowed his head for a moment, sighing as he did so before he suddenly straightened up and pulled the younger Shurley into a rib-crushing hug.

"It's bullshit, little brother." Michael repeated in a vehement whisper in Castiel's ear. "All that matters to me is you. Do you understand me?"

Cas managed to nod his head where it was pressed tight against his brother's shoulder, letting out a shocked laugh that chased away the embarrassing burning sensation in his eyes when he noticed Luke dabbing dramatically at the corners of his own eyes as he watched the two Shurleys embrace.

"So I'll take care of your school stuff then," Michael repeated as he pulled away from Cas, the older man smiling in relief when the younger man didn't voice any more protests. "And if you need anything else you call me, okay?"

"I will, yea," Castiel readily agreed with a quick nod as his older brother stepped back to take his place again by Luke's side; in hindsight the pair of them just looked so right together.

Maybe he'd be so lucky some day...maybe with De-

"Anyway!" Luke shouted suddenly causing Cas to flinch hard from the unexpected noise. "Cassie, can I call you 'Cassie'? Are we there yet?"

The younger man managed a speechless nod in reply.

"Great! I feel like family already," Luke continued, grinning in an almost wicked way when Michael's hand flew up to the bridge of his nose again. "Anyway, it's been lovely meeting you, but someone took off work specifically to drag someone else to a farmer's market today. I'm not naming names, but did you know you're brother is weirdly obsessed with eggplant?"

"I um…" Castiel started, unsure of where the other man was going with this. "I don't think so?"

"Well, just know that he is now hooked on my mother's eggplant parmesan and will demand it at the most unreasonable times," Luke held up a finger in Michael's direction without looking, almost like he knew that the other man was already opening his mouth to protest because Mike so totally was. "It ruins the afterglow Mikey, ruins it."

"Oh-okay, that's enough of that," Michael said quickly, tugging Luke away from Castiel with an embarrassed, beleaguered smile on his face. "Cassie we really should be going, but remember we're all only a phone call away."

Castiel nodded again, mostly because now he did not trust his own voice not to crack, as Michael swooped in for one last hug before beginning to herd his boyfriend (and wasn't that weird) towards the psych ward's double doors.

"Feel free to call me too, Cassie," Luke called cheerily in Castiel's direction. "And also tell Dean that your future brother-in-law is Italian, I'm sure I got an uncle or two who could make him disappear if he hurts you."

"What?!" Michael asked bewilderedly as Jo buzzed the ward's doors open.

Castiel could hear his brother vaguely being shushed by Luke as the other man led Michael out of the psych ward and he was sure he would be getting phone calls sooner rather than later about Luke's intuitive assumptions, but he was happy that he still had time to figure all this Dean stuff out for himself first. Knowing that his family would most likely be supportive of him regardless was a massive weight lifted off his shoulders

"I'll log these clothes onto your property list," Jo said vaguely in Castiel's direction, tapping sharply at the keys of the computer she was using with a frown on her face. "You let Charlie know there here so she can play dress up when she's ready."

The patient cleared his throat as he nodded, hesitating a moment before he picked up the forgotten bottle of water that Michael had left on the nurse's station and turned away to go find Dean.

Luckily the other man made it an easy task because Cas could hear Dean's muffled cheers of triumph coming from the vicinity of the rec room and when he rounded the corner headed in that direction he could clearly see the other man doing some sort of flailing victory dance in front of where Ash was seated on the room's couch.

It was pretty ridiculously cute and for the first time since he had allowed himself to admit that he had feeling for the other man, the swooping joy in Cas's chest wasn't accompanied by a jolt of panic in the pit of his stomach. He could definitely get used to this.

"Cas!" Dean shouted, spotting the other patient in the halfway and stopping mid-cabbage patch to run out and catch him in a hug that almost bowled the both of them over. "You just missed me using Princess Peach to totally kick Ash's ass at Mario Kart. It was hilarious."

"You blue shelled me, dude!" Ash yelled from the other room, tossing his controller into Charlie's lap before folding his arms petulantly across his chest. "That's not a real win, I demand a rematch."

"Yea yea," Dean called vaguely in the direction of the rec room, his arms settling comfortably on Castiel's shoulders as the pair drew apart from their embrace.

Well...the two men didn't quite draw apart completely, a fact that Cas didn't miss when his hands ended up on Dean's trim waist and his head became suddenly light headed when all of his blood rushed toward his more southern extremities.

"So…" Dean started, clearing his throat as a Cas watched a blush stain the other man's cheeks; highlighting his freckles in probably the most attractive way imaginable. If a meteor were to strike him, now would be okay. "That was another brother huh? He seemed cool."

"Yea, he is," Cas replied honestly, though if anyone had called Michael 'cool' a week ago the younger man would have had to bit his tongue to stop himself from arguing. "So uh...what's the plan for today since group is cancelled?"

"Ah-ah," Dean chided, bringing a hand around so that he could wag a finger in Cas's face. "Not canceled, just postponed. Trust me, Missouri doesn't cancel group for anything, afternoon group will just be hella packed. And since Becks is gone on her field trip and Ash is going to AA in about ten minutes then I figured you, me, and Charlie could just hang out and shoot the shit, y'know?"

"Shoot the shit," he replied, hoping that Dean couldn't feel his heart beating fast where the other man's waving hand had settled on his chest. "Yea, that sounds good.

"Well, c'mon then," Dean said, tilting his head in the direction of where Charlie was leaning determinedly over a controller as Ash watched her game unfold on the screen with a slack-jawed expression on his face. "I saved you a really good seat."

"I'm sure," Cas deadpanned, rolling his eyes as the other man nonchalantly took his hand and led him in the rec room just as Charlie dropped her controller on the scratched coffee table and threw her hands up in the air.

"And that's how it's done, son!" Charlie yelled, looming over a sour faced Ash who just stuck his middle finger up at her before silently storming out of the room.

"Princess Daisy?" Dean asked as he settled into the couch, pulling Cas down close next to him so that their thighs were pressed together and he could sling an arm over the other man's shoulders. "I've told him a million times to stop underestimating the princesses."

Cas relaxed into the cushions behind him with a smile playing at the corners of his mouth, basking in Dean and Charlie's banter about different video game characters and their relative strengths and weaknesses. It was nice...easy. For the first time since he had arrived at the hospital Cas felt like he could finally breathe, like really breathe. No worries nagging at the back of his mind like hellhounds nipping at his heels, no anxiety crushing the fucking life out of him.

He glanced over when he felt Dean's body abruptly shift against his, but it was only the other man throwing his head back in laughter at something that Charlie said; his free hand that wasn't around Cas's shoulder moving to press against his chest. He wasn't sure what had been said, but right then in that moment it did really matter because all Cas could think was 'Fuck, he's so beautiful.'

It was probably progress or something that the thought alone didn't completely ruin him.

"Christ, Chaz," Dean gasped out, his chuckles dying out as he wiped a knuckle at the corner of his eye. "Don't go posting your theories about Bowser's sexuality all over the internet, you'll hurt some some fanboy's feelings."

"Hey, I just said his castle was pretty much all dungeon," Charlie said, raising her hands defensively before her eyebrow raised mischievously. "You're the one who turned it dirty, Winchester. "

"Wait a second, there were inherently kinky undertones to what you said. I just pointed it out, " Dean argued, turning to Castiel and giving him large puppy dog eyes. "C'mon Cas, back me up here."

He hadn't heard what the other two patients had been talking about really, but Dean was asking Cas to pick a side so he just nodded along and definitely did not sigh like a wistful Austen character when Dean winked at him before turning back to Charlie.

"See, Cas thinks you've got some unresolved kinks too," Dean continued, waggling his eyebrows. "Maybe once you're out in the big wide world you can find someone to help you with those."

Charlie rolled her eyes at the two men and got up to remove the current game from one of the battered game consoles shoved onto the small TV stand, placing it carefully back into its case before turning back towards Dean and Cas with a hand propped on her hip.

"Were you two planning on being all mushy and into each other all afternoon?" The woman asked, her voice light and teasing and exceedingly pleased with herself.

Cas looked askance at the other man who was already staring pretty intently at him. Dean's green eyes were hopeful and his expression was so heartbreakingly unsure that all Cas could do was reach over to give Dean's knee a squeeze in the hopes that the gesture would be self-explanatory.

From the way Dean's smile returned with lightening fast speed, Cas was pretty sure his message came across loud and clear.

"Yep," Dean said popping the 'P' as he replied easily to the other patient. "You jealous, red?"

"Puh-leaze," Charlie scoffed, flapping a hand in the direction of the two seated men as she headed for the door to the rec room. "I'm just gonna go get my journal and my book. Try not to choke on each other's tongues or anything while I'm gone."

Dean mumbled something under his breath in reply, but it was too low for Cas to hear so there was really no hope of Charlie hearing it; either way it was pretty clear when Castiel chanced a glance at the other man that Dean was blushing all the way to the tips of his ears from his roommate's parting comment.

Which was still kind of a mind fuck really.

Yea, he knew Dean liked him, even like-liked him, but it was still kinda surreal to have someone willingly seeking out his company and his touch and getting all flustered when the simple possibility of the two of them kissing was mentioned.

It's like all this time when Meg had been flouncing around in her skimpiest clothing, curling up against him when they would watch movies like a cat seeking warmth, or laughing in derision whenever a waiter assumed they were dating when they would go out to lunch, all of that, that seemed like the delusion. Like the nightmare.

And the way that he felt with Dean...well, Cas figured his frame of reference was pretty shitty, but this felt like living.

"Earth to Cas," Dean called, waving a hand in front of Castiel's face and chuckling to himself when the other patient blinked back from whatever contemplative trance he seemed to have fallen into. "You with me, darlin'?"

"Yea, yea," Cas answered dazedly, shaking his head to clear the fog before he turned his body so that he was facing more towards Dean; one leg resting on the cushions between them. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," the other man chided, allowing the arm that had been around Castiel's shoulders to slide to the back of the couch; Dean's fingers falling to fidget with the sleeve of the other patient's t-shirt instead. "I was just worried that what Charlie said made you uncomfortable, she's just excited that we're...y'know, getting along. I can tell her to stop if you want me to."

"No, it's okay," Cas said, pushing his glasses up his nose self-consciously as he tried to make a concentrated effort not to stare at Dean's lips. "She's uh...just concerned. Kissing related injuries happen all the time."

"They do, huh?" Dean asked raising his eyebrow teasingly even though it was completely at odds with the way his face was still slightly flushed. "And how does someone avoid a 'kissing related injury?."

"Uh…" Cas stalled, because logically the answer to that was 'practice', but that sounded presumptive and he didn't want Dean to feel like he was being pressured into anything.

"Oh my god," Charlie interrupted, saving Castiel before he made an ass out of himself by diving across the space separating he and Dean and attempting to smoosh their lips together. "The slimiest dude in existence just hit on me."

Dean let out a big sigh and turned his attention to his roommate who was settling herself in the rec room's armchair, wiping her hand dramatically on the leg of her jeans as she did so. "Slimier than Crowley?"

"Probably not that slimy," the woman conceded, her mouth forming a moue of disgust. "But at least as slimy as Ash can be on a bad day. It was like smarmy British accent meets ick"

"What happened?" Castiel asked feeling a creeping sense of doom nagging at the edges of his mind.

"I was just coming out of my room after getting my book and bumped into Missouri doing her tour thing with those intern candidates," Charlie started, inspecting her hand before she gave it one last wipe on her jeans. "She did her whole 'introduce a promising patient' spiel and I started to head back here, but one of the guys in the group stepped out, took my hand and gave it a kiss before freakin' winking at me and saying I was 'delectable'. Like seriously dude? Gross."

"Sounds gross," Dean said making at face at the other girl's story, but Cas was too concerned about some of the all too familiar sounding details of her encounter to focus on the squick factor.

"And you said he was British?" Cas asked, his blood running cold when Charlie nodded her head. "Was he blonde? About my height?"

"Yea," Charlie said, her brow furrowing as she nodded her head. "He was also wearing a disturbingly deep V-neck."

"Oh my god," Cas said at right about the same time Dean asked. "Do you know who she's talking about, Cas?"

"You have to hide me," Castiel blurted, turning towards Dean as panic filled his veins and his mind started supplying him with all of the ways that Balthazar could torment him if his roommate were to see him in here.

"Hide you?" Dean asked, shaking his head bewilderedly at the other man. "From who?"

"Cas, what's going on?" Charlie asked, scooting forward in her armchair as she glanced towards the hallway where Missouri's authority voice could only just be heard above the ward's general buzz. "Do you know that guy?"

"Fuck, I think?" Cas answered, trying to convince himself for a moment that it couldn't possibly be Balthazar and failing miserably because he'd seen his roommate drop that 'delectable' line when Meg wasn't around too many times to count. "Shit, no. I do, it's my friend Balthazar and I don't know why he's here, but he can't see me. I need you guys to hide me."

"Why can't he know you're here?" Dean asked, grabbing one of Cas's hands and giving it a squeeze to get his attention.

The short bark of laughter that escaped Castiel must of have sounded a little hysterical because Dean's eyes grew round and concerned before he managed to stifle it. "I just...he can't know. Balthazar, he...he wouldn't understand why I came here. I need you to hide me before he sees me."

Dean studied Castiel's worried expression for a moment before he nodded to himself and turned to look at Charlie. "Have they fixed the locked to that supply closet next to the bathrooms yet?"

"I think I saw Bobby fiddling with it the other day, you know he's only half the handyman he thinks he is," Charlie replied, leaning forward to put her copy of The Hobbit and her journal on the table before she rose to standing. "You got your license just in case?"

"Yea," Dean said, licking his lips quickly before he rose to his feet as well and motioned for Castiel to follow him as he started towards the doorway and cautiously looked down the hallway. "But I'll just fucking break the lock again if I have to. Run interference for me, Chaz?"

"Well, who else did you expect to do it?" Charlie asked, shouldering her way past the two men so she could head down the hallway towards her bedroom; throwing a wink over her shoulder at Cas as she went.

"What is she doing?" Castiel asked, cringing when he heard Charlie's voice boom out a loud exclamation of pain almost immediately after she had disappeared around the corner.

"She's the distraction," Dean said, grabbing Cas's hand and dragging him in the opposite direction of Charlie, back towards Castiel's own shared room. "You're not afraid of small spaces right?"

"Um…" Castiel started, because it's not like he had ever needed to know the answer to that particular question before. "I hope not?"

"Well then, do you trust me?" Dean asked, stopping in front of a closed door that was just around the corner past the bathrooms.

Cas just nodded quickly and watched nervously as Dean jiggled the door's handle only to find it locked before pulling a wallet out of his back pocket and using his driver's license to deftly pop the lock open in less than thirty seconds. It wouldn't been hot if Cas wasn't completely terrified that Balthazar was about to come barreling around the corner looking for him.

"Alright Cas," Dean said, shoving his id quickly into his front pocket before he opened the door to reveal a narrow closet lined with dusty shelves full of hospital grade cleaning products. "Go ahead, I'll help Charlie keep your friend distracted ti-"

"And here we have our recreation room than can be used by patients who are compliant with treatment," MIssouri's voice sounded suddenly close by, making both Dean and Castiel jump.

"Fuck fuck," Dean cursed, pushing urgently at the other man's back until Castiel was pressed against shelf at the back of the closet.

"Don't leave me," Cas whispered desperately as Dean started to close the door on him.

He watched the other man's expression falter for just a second before Dean let out a shuddering breath and nodded, stepping into the narrow space with Castiel before he shut the door behind him with a soft 'snick'.

Leaving them in darkness.

The space was tight enough that the two men's chests brushed together as they breathed and that was with Castiel pressing himself back as tightly as he could into the shelf behind him. As his eyes grew adjusted to the darkness and his panic started to ebb now that danger of being discovered by Balthazar was less immediate, Castiel could just barely make out the fact that Dean's eyes were shut tightly and his mouth seemed to be moving silently despite his ragged breaths.

"Dean," Cas whispered, reaching his hand out into the void of space between them until they touched against the other man's neck. The other man flinched away from his fingers, making an involuntary sound of distress in the back of his throat that just about broke Castiel's heart. "Dean, it's Cas. What's wrong?"

Dean's mouth stopped moving as he sucked in a sharp breath that sounded like a gunshot in the relative silence of the closet and slowly nodded his head, leaning back in to press his face into Castiel's palm.

"The dark" Dean rasped, his eyes remaining screwed up tight even as his breathing began to gradually slow. "J-just talk to me, Cas."

"About what?" Castiel asked, his thumb attempting to smooth away the lines of distress that he could only just make out at the corner of Dean's eye.

"Anything," Dean breathed, letting his head fall back against the door of the closet with a gentle thump that Cas really hoped no one had been around to hear.

"We could play the game?" Castiel offered, his heart lightening when he felt the corner of Dean's mouth twitch against the base of his hand and he moved his fingertips to trap the curve in order to be certain.

"You that eager to lose, Cas?" Dean whispered quietly, his smile growing wide enough that the other man could actually see it in the sparse light coming from the cracks around the door.

"Or I'm really motivated to win," he countered, allowing himself to relax the tense line of his body that was keeping him pressed harshly against the shelving behind him. If the movement ended up bringing his body him closer to Dean...well that was just a happy accident. "You wanna go first?"

Dean let out a soft huff of laughter as he reached up to blindly grab at Cas's hand that was still tracing his face, cradling it in both of his own again like he had done earlier if front of Michael and Luke. It made his heart feel all flutterly again, just the same as it had before.

"Peg Entwistle, actress, jumped off the Hollywood sign."

"Huh, I thought that was an urban legend," Castiel replied earnestly, shifting his weight to be more comfortable because one part of the shelf was still digging into his lower back.

"You okay?" Dean asked, noticing the other man's shifting despite his eyes remaining closed.

"Yea, its just cramped in here," Cas explained, giving out a sigh of defeat when his movements only served to knock he and Dean's knees together. "Anyway um...Elliot Smith, musician, stabbed himself."

"Good one," Dean replied, letting out a soft grunt of pain when Cas's knees connected with his own and he reached out a hand that landed on the other man's chest when his leg threatened to buckle. "God, just be still for a second, Cas."

"Sorry," Cas mumbled, his face flushing with embarrassment as Dean shifted his own body around until one of the other man's legs slid between both of Castiel's own; his thigh just shy of grazing a very pressure sensitive area. "Um...it's your turn, Dean."

"Yea, yea," Dean muttered, tugging on the front of Cas's shirt for a second until he was both closer to the other patient and no longer had a shelf threatening to slice through his spine. "That better?"

"Yea," Cas choked out, willing himself to not get a boner when Dean would surely feel it pressed against his leg. Maybe they could get to that point eventually, but now was probably not a good time.

"Okay, then," Dean said smugly, his fingers tapping out a disjointed rhythm where they still rested on the other man's chest. "Uh...Quentin Hubbard, he didn't work but he was that Scientology guy's son so I guess he didn't have to. He did that carbon monoxide thing with his car."

"Uh…" Castiel started, racking his brain for someone he could play, but finding himself distracted by the inane little taps of Dean's fingertips on his chest and the warmth of the other man so close to him; the smell of his cologne or deodorant or whatever it was that smelled so good and the way that Dean's dark eyelashes contrasted against the pale skin of his cheeks because his eyes were still fucking closed. "I uh...I know of a guy who committed suicide by ripping his dick off with a palm tree sapling?"

He could thank that stupid 17th Century Mythology class he took as a freshman elective for that nightmare.

"Ugh," Dean groaned, making a face of pain and disgust that was plenty identifiable in the low light. "God, why? I'm gonna take your word on that one and let you skip a turn. Fuck, man. Just...moving on, shit. Spalding Gray, actor, he's the guy that jumped off the Staten Island ferry a couple of years ago."

"I remember my parents talking about that," Cas replied, feeling dumb for scarring Dean for life with the story of that palm tree guy; it hadn't even really given him time to think of someone else or managed to clear his head at all because it's not like Dean had managed to stop being hot or smelling good within the last thirty seconds. "Uh...Kurt Cobain?"

"Cas," Dean said, stopping him from continuing as a wide smile spread across his face. "You said Kurt Cobain like two days ago."

Cas's eyes widened as he suddenly had a vivid flashback of him listing off the Nirvana front man several days earlier when both Charlie and Ash were still playing and Ash had insisted on singing 'Blue' in its entirety before the game could continue.

"Shit," Castiel muttered, earning a chuckle from Dean who took his hand off of Cas's chest long enough to do a victorious fist pump. "So uh...you won then. You'd already decided what you wanted, right?"

"Well don't sound so put out, Cas," Dean said, sounding slightly disappointed as he moved his hand back to Castiel's chest; hesitating for a noticeable moment as he did so.

"I'm not," Cas quickly assured the other patient, allowing himself to mourn the loss of the date that he was going to try to ask Dean on if she had one. "I just...I really wanted to win."

"Awww, I'm sorry sweetheart," Dean said apologetically, moving a fraction closer so that the hand resting on Cas's chest could trail lazily upwards to cup the side of his neck instead. "But I don't think my prize will put you out too much."

"Well, let me know what you want and I'll give it to you, Dean. Name it and it's yours."

"Don't go making promises like that," Dean said softly, his voice uncharacteristically shy. "A guy'll go gettin' all sorts of ideas."

"It's true though," Cas replied earnestly, giving the other man's hand that was holding his own a squeeze. "I'd give you anything you want, as long as I'm able to."

"Well," Dean started, licking his lower lip before he bit it gently and took in a deep breath through his nose. "Since I won, I want something special. Something I've never had before."

Whatever it was, Cas didn't care how expensive, he'd make sure that Dean got it. That sounded a little intense though so all he said in reply was, "Okay."

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated; licking his lips again before he finally managed, "I want you to close your eyes."

"Close my eyes?" Castiel asked, it was already dark as fuck in the closet so he didn't see was harm it would do. Was this really what Dean wanted for winning though? After all that build up and trash talk?

He shrugged and shut his eyes.

"Don't move," Dean whispered and Castiel felt the other man drop his hand between them and shift so that their chests were more fully pressed together. "Or move, I'm not a hundred percent sure how this all works."

"How what w-" Castiel started, amused by how weird Dean was being until he felt a puff of warm air against his lips.

Warm air was followed by the tentative brush of warm skin which was followed by a shaky exhale from Dean and a firmer press of lips against his own.

Cas himself was holding his breath, too afraid to move or make a noise because Dean was kissing him and he didn't want to break whatever spell or bleach fume induced insanity that was fueling the other man's desire to want to kiss him. However after only a few more close mouthed presses of his lips against Castiel's Dean was pulling away.

"Is this...am I doing this right?" Dean asked, his voice sounding close still, like he hadn't moved too terribly far away. The other patient opened his eyes just to check though and he was right. Dean was still right there. That was probably a good thing.

Cas tried to remember if he had eaten anything that would've made a kiss disgusting at breakfast.

"Cas?" Dean whispered again, his voice sounding small and uncertain now and it took the other patient a moment to realize that he had been asked a question.

He didn't know how to put into words the spine-tingly frisson of electricity that had shot through his nerve endings from a simple closed mouthed kiss from Dean, but he figured he the least he could do was choke out something.

"It's perfect," he managed.

"Really?" Dean asked awestruck, this thumb brushing tenderly against Castiel's jaw line. "Can I...do you want to do it again?"

Castiel nodded enthusiastically before he realized that Dean's eyes were still closed so he couldn't see the movement.

"I'm nodding," he blurted, and he felt his face heat when he realized that a simple 'yes' would've sufficed. Oh well, in for a penny..."Like, I'm really nodding hard here, Dean."

The other man let out a merry laugh and leaned back in, his other hand coming up to loop around Castiel's shoulders as their noses bumped blindly together until their lips met; this time with Cas contributing.

HIs hands moved to clutch at Dean's waist almost of their own accord, probably a little too eagerly if the smile that formed against his own lips was anything to go by, but Cas couldn't bring himself to care. He wanted to soak in this feeling, let it wash over it until it filled his lungs and dragged him down and the drowned it in.

Only this time it was the opposite of wanting to die. If for nothing else than these innocent, intoxicating kisses in the dark with Dean, he wanted to live.

Author Note: Hola! So I know this update was a long time coming, but please rest assured that I'm doing much better (if you read my fic Deep in the Heart, my last update noted that I've been struggling with depression recently; writing has helped). So bad news (or good I guess, depending on your point of view), I've decided to take this fic off hiatus (obvs) but instead I am placing Nomad by Fate on hiatus in its place. I don't know when the next update for that fic will be, but until Deep in the Heart and/or IKOAFS are finished I will not be working on it at all. If you wanna talk about music or comic books or cry about the epic love affair of a hunter and an angel with me, hmu at deathsteel on tumblr. XOXO