Author: lil'chrome-chan

Pairing: RivaHan yet again

Rate: T for Rivaille's foul mouth (his foul mouth is his charm)

Genre: Friendship, Romance

Summary: "She is a very eccentric person. You will never get bored around her." Their first meeting was nothing grand, nevertheless it was memorable. Indeed, she was a woman of surprises. Since the moment he knew her, she had been his firsts. Written for the RivaHan week day 6 prompt: Firsts.

AUTHOR NOTE: For you who can't read Japanese and are unaware of the title's meaning, it's written below.

I'm listening to the song Sayonara by Kana Nishino when writing this and I think it kinda fits the atmosphere so I recommend you to listen to it (or download it if you don't have it) while reading this. With auto-repeat. LoL.

Actually, I wrote this one before my other two RivaHan week fanfic—with the thought of writing this one prompt only, for the RivaHan week—but then I got interested in other prompts too and finished those stories before this one.

So, here it is. The story of RivaHan's firsts! This story is set shortly after Irvin recruited Rivaille into the Scouting Legion. Enjoy :3

Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin! Isayama-sensei does!

君との出逢い
(The Encounter with You)

(I'm feeling a little lonely now.
That short time I spend with you was bliss.
While walking on the same path,
the two of us were never looking at the same future.)

.

.

.

(It was his first time meeting a woman so eccentric.)

Rivaille studied the person before him carefully without changing his stoic expression. The person had blond hair, was tall—very tall—and had quite the mustache. Sniffing him a couple of times, the blond then snorted, leaving Rivaille in slight surprise and ire. He didn't do anything and the man just snorted at him for no reason at all. Was it his face?

"This is our new recruit Rivaille. I will be leaving him in your care, Mike."

The tall man, Mike, nodded in confirmation and Irvin left the scene. The Commander had always been doing everything on a whim and without telling him a thing beforehand. Now he was left in the care of a strange stranger he had just met two minutes ago.

"Come on. Let's have you meet the other Squad Leader."

"There's another Squad Leader? I thought this legion has very few soldiers." Rivaille commented dryly.

Mike shrugged, "Only a few compared to the Stationary Troop and Military Police, but still, a lot." He said as he began to walk down the corridor, Rivaille trailing from behind. "She is a very eccentric person. You will never get bored around her." Mike spoke up and Rivaille assumed that he might be talking about the other Squad Leader.

Rivaille raised a questioning brow, 'She? The other Squad Leader is a female? This legion is fucked up to let a female handle the soldiers.'

But then again, he had no right to say that. His former occupation was very life-threatening, and nevertheless there were a few females doing it for the sake of fulfilling their life expenses. Seeing the females struggle to make ends meet slightly changed his mind about them. Females might be emotion-driven beings but there are times when those emotions were the ones supporting them. However he still hadn't changed his mind that being emotion-driven was unnecessary to become a soldier who fought when prepared to toss away their life at any minute.

"We're here."

Mike's nudged on his side snapped him back to reality. He studied the wooden door before him. It was old and dirty. He would've sworn the owner of this room never bothered to clean it at all. He could hardly believe anyone would be able to adjust themselves here, let alone a female.

"Are you sure this isn't the wrong room?"

Mike raised a brow and began sniffing the filthy door. "Pretty sure. Her smell's here albeit faint. Why?"

"That's… a little nasty. But oh well, whatever you say."

Shrugging, Mike was about to reach the doorknob when suddenly a nervous-looking guy burst out of the room and bumped into the two of them, though Mike wasn't shifted at all while Rivaille had landed on the floor.

"Ah—excuse me, Sir!" the nervous-looking guy bowed and offered a hand. Trying to be polite at least on his first day, Rivaille accepted the offer with nothing as much as glaring at the younger guy.

"What's wrong, Moblit? Don't tell me she ran away somewhere again?" Mike asked as though this happened on daily basis.

"—Squad Leader Mike!" Moblit showed his respect "Yes! What should I do? I can't find Squad Leader Hanji anywhere!" he began to freak out, sweat trailing down his pale face.

"Don't worry, she'll return once she's hungry."

"But she doesn't get hungry!"

"Well that's a huge problem. Dispatch the Hanji squad to search for her before she found herself surrounded by her babies. You do remember what happened the last time she's missing. She somehow found her way outside the walls."

The conversation happening before him left no clue for Rivaille on what they were talking about. This Hanji person suddenly sounded more eccentric than how he had imagined before. It was hard to believe that they were talking about a female.

"I will participate in the search. How about you, Rivaille? You joining?" Mike asked.

"I'll pass."

"Alright. You can wait at the cafeteria. I'll meet you later."

"Understood."

On his way to the cafeteria, Rivaille had only realized that he didn't know where it's located. Neither Irvin nor Mike had shown the place to him. And he definitely wouldn't ask for help from anyone. With that thought in mind, he decided to take a detour and explore the headquarters instead. The place was large, indeed, but he wouldn't get lost that easily. Even if he were to get lost, he could always use the 3DMG and find the way from bird's eye view.

.

.

.

"…Where am I?"

He looked around. The place suddenly seemed foreign. There were trees everywhere in sight. Before, it was gray stones everywhere.

"GYAAH!"

He heard a yelp and decided to turn around.

It was a tall woman; brown hair in a messy ponytail and brown eyes. She moaned as she rubbed her butt while cringing in pain, perhaps she fell from one of the trees.

"Hauu… It's freezing…" the woman rubbed her palms together and exhaled on them. It took her a while to notice Rivaille's presence. "Eh? Who are you? You're wearing our uniform," she cocked her head to the side and squint her eyes.

He noticed that she was also wearing the Scouting Legion uniform—the wings of freedom properly attached on the back of her uniform.

Don't tell me she is…

"It's common sense to introduce yourself first before asking someone for their name," Rivaille suddenly regretted saying that line, because the woman before him had started cackling like it was the funniest line in the world.

"That line is so cliché! Did you read too many drama novels?" she asked, indirectly mocking him.

Rivaille was too proud to let himself be mocked by a stranger. When he was about to counter her, she beat him into it, "Hey, can you help me return to the headquarters? I lost my glasses somewhere. I think it's stuck on the tree" she pointed upward to the tree she had fallen from "when I fell just now."

"Unfortunately I am lost," it took him a lot of pride to admit that.

She blinked at him. Once. Twice. Then she squint her eyes, "Whose squad are you from? How can you get lost? Are you the new recruit Irvin said he will bring today?" she flooded him with questions.

"Yes, I am."

The woman pouted at Rivaille's very short reply. It wasn't like she didn't get what he meant but it was a bit rude to only answer one of her questions. "I see," she nodded before holding out her hand "nice to meet you, I'm Hanji Zoë" she laughed in-between "actually, today I have the appointment to meet you but I got too interested when I saw this certain species of bird I've never seen before—from the window of my study. Before I realize it I ended up here. I climbed up the tree to find the bird's nest but the mother bird chased me off! She's so protective!"

Rivaille almost widened his eyes at how fast this woman could talk in what seemed to be a single breath. Another side of him was convinced that this person was the other Squad Leader he was supposed to meet just now.

She was just as eccentric as he thought. She didn't even bother to use formal speech.

.

(It was his first time seeing such a genuine smile from a person who had seen hell.)

.

"…by the way, what's your name?" she asked with a grin.

"Rivaille."

"Are you French?"

"Yes."

"Hnn~ Interesting! French are rare these days!" she beamed at him.

And that was when he noticed how much she had smiled since he saw her. He had always hated people who could smile, ignorant of how cruel the outside world could be. He had learned long ago that smiling would be futile. Those smiles would disappear the moment you see the Titans—the moment you learn the world's true color.

But she was a member of the Scouting Legion—the group of people who was most-aware of the world's cruelness. She was even a Squad Leader—God-only-knew how many years she had spent in this bloody hell. Nevertheless she showed him a genuine smile he could barely find anywhere in this legion.

He hand't noticed when her topic had changed from French to humankind to Titans. She appeared to be very loathful toward those gigantic natural enemies of humans. Her eyes glinted maniacally when she told him about how she was researching on a certain poison she had hoped to be capable of killing the Titans with as much pain as possible despite knowing Titans didn't have nerves.

Time flew by so fast and Hanji's squad found them just in time. Rivaille had predicted that Hanji would be as blind as a bat by the moment sun hit the horizon.

"Squad Leader!" the nervous guy from before quickly ran toward Hanji.

"Moblit!" Hanji stretched her arms and laughed, as if welcoming her most trusted subordinate. Moblit used his arms to picked Hanji up and supported her weight and led her way.

"Squad Leader, I'm worried sick!"

"Hahaha! My bad, my bad! But I found interesting birds! I'll draw them for you later!"

"Please just return to your study and rest first."

She whined, "But those birds are so cool, I swear!"

"Yes, yes, they are."

Rivaille followed suit from behind. She was indeed a woman of surprises.

.

(It was his first time bathing a woman.)

.

It was after their second expedition outside the walls that Rivaille received his position as a Corporal. And it was also when he realized that Hanji always went right to her study after a mission. And then she would appear a week or two later in the same clothes and with still the same bloodstains on them. It made him notice that she hadn't been taking bath ever since she returned from the expedition.

Just the thought of it disgusted him to no end.

How could someone—moreover a woman—stand being in filth for a week?

He had tried telling Hanji to properly take her bath. She said yes but he didn't feel that she got any cleaner after the bath. Did she even wash herself properly?

It sent shivers down his spines when he thought of the possibility that she might be infected by some lethal and contagious diseases if she didn't keep herself clean.

That's when he decided to be the one in-charge of bathing her.

"Get some newly-washed clothes from your closet. I'll be filling up the water."

"Eeeh? But I still have many things to do. Baths can wait later—"

"Shut up. This is an order."

"What? If I recall, my rank is higher than yours, Corporal," she laughed.

"Oh? So you want to order me?"

"Well, I can't think of any order yet. Besides, why are you being so persistent in making me bathe? It's not like I'll die if I don't bathe. And I'll get dirty again after the next expedition anyway."

"That's utterly disgusting, what you said just now."

"I'm fine with being disgusting!" she turned away, pouting.

Rivaille let her pout for a while before his hand quickly snatched away her glasses, leaving her in slight shock. "Hey! Give them back!" she stretched out her hand to reach her glasses but he knew just how bad her eyesight was. He took three steps backward and he knew she couldn't identify him anymore.

"Rivaille!"

"You can have them back after one bath."

"I'm busy!"

"Stop being such a stubborn girl and obey me, shitty glasses."

Hanji growled childishly, hands balled into fists.

"…Fine!"

"Good girl," Rivaille said as he returned her glasses to her.

Grinning, she took the opportunity to dash off after she regained her sight. She ran toward the door,

"Ah, I forgot to mention—"

But the door was locked and she couldn't open it.

"—I locked the door just in case you might run away."

"Goddammit!"

"It's not nice to curse, Hanji."

"I don't want to hear that from you!" Hanji wailed.

Rivaille ignored her protest. It was not like she could escape anyway so he just let her whine all she wanted. He went to fill the bathtub with warm water and reminded her to bring some clean clothes with her when she was going to enter the bathroom.

It was his first time washing a woman's body but he didn't feel bothered at all—surprisingly, Hanji didn't, as well. He was lucky Hanji didn't own such feminine body. What seriously bothered him was how dirty she was. He had to scrub the filth on her back as if his life depended on it.

"Oi, shitty glasses."

"Hn?" she squeezed her eyes close when he washed her hair, the soap almost entered her eyes.

"You're filthy."

"Sure, sure."

"Wash your body once in a while, would you?"

"Su—"

"If you answer this one with 'sure' again I'll smash your glasses and burn your books—"

"YESSIR!"

.

(It was the first time he shared his thought for the future with someone.)

.

"Ri~vaille~!" she chirped when she peeked inside his office. She glanced everywhere but found no sign of the petite French. "Not here, is he?" she said to herself before she closed the door and went upstairs.

She knew his favorite place. Despite everything, she was observant. If there was anywhere he would be fond of it would be the rooftop. The view was great there and on top of all, it was the place where the freshly washed clothings were hung. Rivaille was fond of the mixed smell of detergent and fresh air there.

When she finally reached the rooftop she grinned at her perfect theory. Surely, Rivaille was there, sitting on the ground—she was pretty sure he had cleaned that spot first before sitting—while enjoying the wind. Even the humanity's strongest soldier needed peaceful moments at times.

She thought of surprising him from behind but before she could do so, he spoke up,

"Don't. You. Dare. Shitty glasses…"

She pouted. Before she realized it, shitty glasses had become her nickname.

"How did you know I'm here?"

"Your shitty smell is contaminating the fresh air," he said, still hadn't turned around. His lips slightly twisted upward—he only did it because he knew she couldn't see him.

"You're so cold! What the hell! Am I really that smelly? I'm pretty sure I took a bath two days ago!"

"You're supposed to take baths everyday—that aside, why are you here?" he finally turned around, showing her his usual bored expression.

She grinned. She had her hands behind her and he knew she was hiding something. "Ta-da!" she showed him a book she had been hiding. When Rivaille raised a brow, she quickly spoke up "This is a book from my ancestors' age! It's full of the pictures of the outside world! Let's read it together!" she beamed.

After sending her an uninterested look, he returned to gaze at the horizon.

"What—Rivaille, you don't want to see how the outside world looks like?" Hanji whined, seating herself beside him and his eye twitched at the fact that she didn't even bother to brush off the dirt before sitting there.

"I don't."

"Why?" she frowned.

"Because…" he looked at her, seeing her annoyed expression "…I can see it once I slay all the Titans, after I deliver the wishes of my fallen soldiers."

Her eyes widened.

And so did her grin.

"You know what, Rivaille? You're a very nice guy," she poked her cheek and earned a glare from him. She ignored his death glare. She was used to it.

"I am not."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

"I'm being serious here, shitty glasses."

"Sure."

"I don't like your answer—"

"By the way, Rivaille!" she cut him off. "I mean, your purpose is fine and all, but you're a bit too gloomy. For me, my purpose of fighting would be because I want to see the wonders of the world with my own eyes!" she beamed again, seeing straight to the horizon, as if imagining how it would be if she were to be outside the walls.

.

(She was his first love…)

.

"But then there will be no purpose for the Scouting Legion any longer. We will get disbanded and go our separate ways. Have you thought of what you will do after everything's over, Rivaille? You know, start a family and live peacefully or something. We're almost 30 now!"

"I… never thought of that before. How about you? Are you going to get married?"

"Um… Maybe no?" she laughed "I just want to explore the world and learn new things! The burning water, the land of ice, the snowfields of sand… I mean, I'm sure there are many things still unknown to us out there—I'm not a science-freak, mind you—and I'm not sure if my family can follow me everyhwere, that's if I ever want to start one. Women are bound to family, after all. I can no longer be free."

"I don't think I want to start a family either."

"You can explore the world like me, then!"

"That means I'll follow you."

"Eh? Seriously?!" her eyes wide as she blinked in utter shock.

"What? You don't like the idea?"

She shook her head violently, "YES, I LIKE IT!" she then beamed again for the umpteenth time of the day. He knew he couldn't find a smile like this everywhere in the Scouting Legion. Seeing her was one of his ways to cheer up.

"Then, it's a promise! Until then, we have to both stay alive!" she held out her pinky.

He looked at it.

"C'mon! Just this once! Be childish!"

He sighed, "Just this once," he said as he hooked his pinky around hers.

"We'll explore the world together! I'm so excited I'll do my best even more that ever!" she slightly pumped her fists.

"Just don't overwork yourself."

"I won't! Have I ever?"

"Always."

"Do I?"

"Stop asking."

She laughed and the two of them looked at the horizon again.

His hand slightly brushed hers. She had her eyes closed as she smiled and enjoyed the wind, too busy to notice. He held her hand in his, just to feel her warmth, and to make sure she was alive. He had had enough of touching the cold bodies of his fallen soldiers. Repeatedly, he had touched their hand, from the moment they were dying until the moment of their death. It was fearsome—to hold onto someone as they died.

He just didn't want her to lose her warmth like them.

.

(It was the first time he felt unbelievably upset over a broken promise.)

.

"Hanji, come back!" he shouted almost desperately as he saw her flew over to Eren's Titan form. He was dangerous—he still couldn't control his Titan form. From what he had heard before, Eren's Titan form had almost hit Mikasa Ackerman, his own adoptive sister, to her death. No one was an exception once he had lost control.

"You stay there and defend everyone from the Titans! I'm gonna use this tranquilizer on Eren so we can pull him out!" she said with a grin.

He gritted his teeth.

He needed to stay calm.

If he were to panic right there, his soldiers wouldn't feel at ease.

.

.

.

"—Eren, no!"

It was Mikasa's voice, Rivaille knew. The quiet girl rarely shouted and he knew something really bad had happened if she ever did. From his position he could see the fallen form of Eren's Titan. He didn't want to assume the worst just yet. After slaying the last three Titans, he went to where Eren's Titan was.

"…Ackerman."

Mikasa jumped when her name was called.

"Corporal…" she whispered lifelessly. In her arms was the sleeping form of Eren Jaeger. He assumed that had Hanji successfully injected the tranquilizer into him.

"I take it Eren is safe?"

Mikasa nodded, a little too stiffly for his taste.

He looked around.

"Where's Hanji?" he asked.

Mikasa lowered her head, refusing to look him in the eyes. He sensed something really bad. Mikasa slowly pointed at the tree behind them.

"She is resting there."

He nodded and went there. He went around the tree and found her lying on the ground—rare peaceful complexion on her face—green Scouting Legion cloak still worn. What didn't fit his taste was the fact that she was surrounded by a pool of blood. He then noticed that she was slightly paler than usual. He couldn't see wound anywhere but he was sure that blood was hers.

His hand slowly reached her face.

She wasn't warm.

No.

He wanted her warm.

"Oi, Hanji…" he slightly shook her.

Very slowly, her eyes fluttered open. His heart—which had clenched for a while—finally loosened up. Her pale lips formed a shaky smile despite her condition.

"Hey, Rivaille, doing well?" she asked.

"What are you doing sleeping here? We're going home."

"So… it means everyone's safe?"

"Most of them. I wouldn't say all."

"How many of them fall?"

"A few. Less than five people this time."

"I see…"

Before he realized, the soldiers had surrounded them—some of them had started crying and some of them looked hopeless. He knew what was happening but his mind refused to acknowledge the situation. He knew she was dying. But she promised they would stay alive until it's all over.

It made him so upset he wanted to kill something.

"Rivaille… Are you mad at me?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You always make that face… whenever you're mad at me," she forced a smile. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. But… if I did, there will be more soldiers to fall this time. I know you hate seeing your comrades die. You're just that kind…"

"Idiot. Are you…" he gritted his teeth "Are you going to say that it's okay for you to die? Do you think I would like to see you die instead?"

"No, I didn't mean that!" she coughed, blood coming out of her mouth and other soldiers cried in shock. She covered her eyes with her arm and grinned, "So this is how it feels to die. I feel like my consciousness is fading… I'm feeling light-headed too… Rivaille, can you memorize what I say and write them in a document? I'd like to read it later."

"Who's going to read it, your ghost?" he spat.

"Maybe. But as a scientist I don't really believe in the existence of ghosts."

"I'm sorry, Rivaille…" she said, her smile quivered.

He clenched his fists, not ready for this. She had always been there beside him he had almost forgot she could die. She was always there, to comfort him after the death of comrades. She was always there, even after numerous soldiers were falling right before his eyes. He was so used to her presence he couldn't imagine his life with her gone.

"…goodbye."

Rivaille felt his world crumbled.

He didn't want to lose her.

He would need time to get up and walk again with no one to share the pain and sadness with.

He never thought it would be so painful to lose her.

"Hanji…" he shook her gently.

There was no reply and he could hear some of the soldiers crying louder, probably members of the Hanji squad, he no longer cared.

.

(It was the first time he shed tears in years.)

.

As if replying to his mood, the cloud stirred. Before anyone had noticed, the sky had darkened. Soon, the rain fell into the world. Rivaille watched as the rain washed away the blood from Hanji. She looked very clean, just like the time when he had just done bathing her.

But even that simple activity would no longer be there. Those daily arguments would no longer be held.

"Hey, Hanji… You said you want to see the world…" he looked down, tears streaming down his cheek, camouflaged by the rain. She looked so peaceful he almost felt like she was merely sleeping.

He held her cold hand.

"I will see the world for your part as well."

He had never regretted meeting her. All he ever got was surprises. However this would be the last surprise from her.

It was the first time he had ever longed for surprises.

The End

Was the ending too angsty? But I've always wanted to write something like this so forgive me if you guys are disappointed! And again, this fic ends up longer than planned. Oh god, I thought I can finish this with 3k+ words but once again I broke my own oath. Please leave reviews and tell me what you think of this one~

By the way, the EreMika week is approaching! Since I know the prompts early—unlike what happened to the RivaHan week (I learned its existence two days prior to it!)—I'm gonna write for as many prompts as possible!

See you on the EreMika week! XD