This story was written for a friend who wanted me to upload it on here.

"This is the third time Sephiroth." The blonde snapped angrily.

The taller male beside him bit his lip in an attempt to stifle a snicker, "I'm sorry Strife…" Sephiroth muttered with a satisfying grin growing on his face, "that I complied with your demands to fuck you harder and harder."

Cloud's cheeks flushed red as he picked up a pillow from the heap of mess on the floor and flung it at the General. "I didn't tell you to break the bed!"

The General scoffed, "Well what do you want me to do?"

"You are going to have to buy another bed…again."

"I'm pretty sure I bought a life time warranty with this one." Sephiroth replied as he glanced at the broken bed.

"Do you know where the receipt is? I remember the salesman saying that you had to keep the proof of purchase."

Sephiroth frowned and kicked a pillow idly

The blonde turned and eyed him suspiciously, "...What?"

The General remained silent. "…."

"Please tell me you didn't throw it away?"

"No…I'm not an idiot. That's Zackary."

"Then what?"

"I gave it to you. And I am certain it's still with your other stuff…"

It slowly dawned on him what he meant. Even though he had finally moved in with Sephiroth, he still hadn't moved all his stuff out from Tifa's place. "Tifa is out of town…but I think her boyfriend is taking care of her place."

"Do you think he is even going to let us in?"

Cloud shrugged, "I can always threaten to call Tifa if he doesn't."

Sephiroth knocked on the door twice before stepping back and waiting for it to open.

"I'll do the talking." Cloud whispered.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow skeptically, "Really?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"Because you and-" Sephiroth was cut off when the door opened, revealing Tifa's boyfriend, Xehanort.

He grinned as he leaned against the doorpost, "Well, well, well if it isn't the chocobo and his jockey." He teased as he glanced at Cloud.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the crib creeper." The blonde retorted angrily.

Xehanort snorted and rolled his eyes, "Your attempts at overt criticism towards me need polishing. Maybe I should start carrying Gysahl Greens around and reward you with one every time you actually successfully insult me."

Sephiroth was always secretly amused by their never-ending banter; however, they were on a schedule and didn't have time for childish teasing. "Remember what we are here for Cloud." He reminded him calmly.

Cloud frowned at his lover and looked back at Xehanort, ''How about you just let us do what we need and shut up? Does that sound nice?''

Xehanort glared at him and crossed his arms, "What do you want?"

"We need to look for an important receipt that's here with my stuff."

"…Fine." He growled reluctantly, stepping aside to let them in.

"Thank you." Cloud said through clenched teeth as he headed towards his old room.

"Whatever." Xehanort muttered while closing the door behind them. "Don't take forever."

"Hello! Welcome to Ikea!" A petite redhead greeted them at the door chipperly. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"We damaged," Cloud lied, downplaying the destruction of their bed,"our bed and we wanted to look at a replacement since we have a lifetime warranty."

"Okay then! Just follow me." She ordered as she turned and guided them towards the back of the store.

As the couple followed her, Sephiroth leaned down and whispered in Cloud's ear, "Her perky disposition doesn't aggravate you?" He asked.

The blonde shook his head, "She was probably trained to act that way. Besides it kinda reminds me of Zack." Sephiroth starred at the bouncy woman with annoyance but agreed that she did in a way.

They reached the bed and bedding section and the woman looked around before shouting, "Nate!"

Another worker's head popped above a stack of pillows. "What up Nadia?"

"They need to replace a bed." She informed him. "Got a warranty too."

Nate nodded, "Gotcha babe." He replied before winking at Nadia, who giggled and ran away. "All I need is your receipt so I can put in the new order."

Sephiroth pulled out his wallet and took the receipt out, "Will this take very long?" The General asked as Cloud wandered over to a bed set on display.

"Naw dude." The worker answered carelessly, walking away at the same time. "It will only take a few minutes." He said before disappearing down one of the aisle.

Sephiroth checked his watch before walking over to Cloud, "I'm an at least 99.9% positive that man is one of those-what do you call it?-Oh yes…a stoner." He said with distaste.

"Is that so…" Cloud replied absentmindedly.

"Strife, are you listening to me?" Sephiroth used Cloud's last to grasp his attention away from the bed which worked.

The blonde blushed in embarrassment, "Sorry. But you should really feel this bed! I think they have that foam bedding under here. We should buy some while we're here!" Cloud suggested eagerly.

Sephiroth placed a hand down on the bed. He had to admit it was soft. But he knew something softer…

He casually placed a hand on the unexpecting blonde's behind. "I think I would rather touch you than this bed Cloud." He suggestively whispered in his ear.

Cloud's eyes practically jumped out their sockets, "Sephiroth!" He hissed, turning around and sitting on the bed. "We are in public!"

"So?" His lover retorted as he leaned towards him and let his lips meet his.

Cloud anger muffles soon turned into satisfied moans before pulling Sephiroth on top of him. "Seph…" He gasped, "what if we get caught?"

"Please," Sephiroth growled in annoyance as Cloud planted kisses on his neck. "I could buy this whole chain of stores ten times over if I wanted to."

"Cocky much?" Cloud teased as he pulled on one of Sephiroth's bangs playfully.

He smirked, "Always." He began to kiss Cloud again when a loud, awkward cough interrupted them. They both looked up to see the worker glancing at them with uneasiness. Sephiroth sighed and slid off the bed and Cloud followed suit, trying to smooth the wrinkles in his shirt.

"Um…all you guys have to do is like go to customer service and tell 'em if you want the bed to be like ship to your house or not." The stoner explained and handed Sephiroth the receipt.

"We appreciate you for helping us with our endeavors." Sephiroth said, expressing his gratitude to try and make up for almost having sex on a public bed.

When the teen stared at them with a blank expression, Cloud sighed and translated, "He's thanking you for your help."

"Oh! It's totally cool man! Just don't um…try to bang on the bed again."

"I can't believe you did that!"

"I'm not able to comprehend why you're so worked up about it."

"What if we had got banned?" The blonde gasped in mortification. "Dammit! We were probably on camera!"

Sephiroth pulled the horrified cadet towards him and wrapped an arm around him, "Stop hyperventilating. It's not becoming of you."

Cloud rolled his eyes as he placed his head on Sephiroth's shoulder, "Fine." He pouted. "What are we going to do now? The bed isn't coming to till Tuesday." The older man simply smirked mischievously in response to the question. "Sephiroth…" Cloud began.

"We still have the mattresses…" The General smiled as he moved his arm to Cloud's waist.

"Yes we do." Cloud smiled and looked up at Sephiroth. "I love you Seph."

"I love you too Chocobutt." Sephiroth said before kissing him on the forehead.

"The sex better be amazing to make up for you calling me that." Cloud warned.

"It always is love."

I ship Tifa/Xehanort. That's why He's her boyfriend. I hope you guys liked it...even though I didn't.