"It was bad enough when it was only two of them, and now this? I don't suppose you have an answer for what exactly prompted this, do you?"

"They were unfortunately rather insistent, Sir. Apparently, this was the least I could do to make up for the fact that I hadn't insisted they be given Level 7 clearance sooner."

"How did they even find out you were alive?"

"I'm going to wash my hands off that one, Nick. You were the one who insisted that Tony be brought into the Initiative, and then when you made us take the Peterson case, you knew that it might end up being high profile."

"Stark doesn't watch the news, Coulson, how was I supposed to expect this?"

"You knew that he had the rest of the team staying with him, and you know Natasha's insistence on keeping up with every potentially superhuman incident as well as I do. Besides, isn't it your job to foresee these things? I'm just the hired muscle, after all."

"Ward, maybe, but for some reason I just cannot see you in the role of muscle, Phil."

"…"

"We still have a problem though."

"Have you tried separating them? It's gotten worse ever since Tony got his hands on some of that fanfiction stuff the Battle of Manhattan sparked – he's taken to calling Banner and himself the Science Husbands and Fitz-Simmons the Science Babies. Apparently, they're the only ones suited to being his protégés – I'm more worried about losing them to Stark Industries than I am the chaos the four of them have the potential to cause, to be honest."

"Again, my question stands – why didn't you make sure that the four of them were kept as far away from each other as possible? I'm sure Ms Potts would have helped you in any way possible as soon as she understood the implications of letting them talk."

"Oddly enough, I was more worried about Skye catching Tony's attention."

"Yes, that would have- What aren't you telling me?"

"This is Stark we're talking about, Director. The time he's not in his lab, he's with Skye on one of those computers he won't let S.H.I.E.L.D near, and the two of them have got JARVIS involved."

"…"

"…"

"I suppose I should just be happy that Stark decided that he was interested in men – and Banner – before he met Skye?"

"Sometimes, even the slight glimmer of a silver lining is better than none at all. If I remember correctly, you were the one who told me that, Nick. I've alerted S.H.I.E.L.D to double our online defenses, though I doubt that it will do any good if they actually decide start hacking us…"

"Yes, those two together were always our computer geeks' worst nightmare."

"Or favourite dream, depending on who you were talking to."

"Probably."

"…"

"I've known you for a long time, Phil. I know that look. What happened?"

"It's not a disaster on the level on Fitz-Simmons with Tony and Bruce, but-"

"You've never curtailed your words with me, Phil. What's stopping you know?"

"Bruce and Tony aren't the only Avengers to have found themselves protégés."

"…"

"Natasha and Clint have taken a liking to Ward and May. I think it has something to do with the fact that all four of them prefer to kill first and ask questions later, but they've been sharing techniques. And Ward might have mentioned that bit about jumping out of a plane…I think Clint's starting to get ideas."

"And…"

"And Cap- Steve's been listening to them talk a bit too carefully. So has Skye, come to think about it."

"This would have been so much easier if I'd never given you a new team, you know that right?"

"Do you really think you're the only one worried? I'm just happy that Thor's not on Earth at the moment – I have no idea what new pranks Skye and Fitz-Simmons would come up with from his antics. And we might want to make sure that Skye and Darcy never cross paths – the world isn't yet ready for the two of them scheming together."

"Yes, now that you mention that, suddenly the current situation really doesn't seem that bad. Now, all we- What was that?"

"I really don't want to know, but considering who all are currently occupying the Tower…"

"Yes, you better go check on that, Phil. Let me know if the situation deteriorates any further, will you?"

"Of course, Nick. I'd- Ah, it seems I need to go rescue Cap- Steve from whatever Tony has in mind. I'll see you when they decide to kidnap you too."

"Wh- Phil!"

Click.

Poor Nick, he's definitely not going to be able to sleep tonight...

This is based on a prompt from the Avengers Kink Meme that I saw some time ago. I can't find it at the moment, but I hope I've managed this one well. I hope you guys liked it! :) As always, please don't forget to drop a review on your way out! :)